Harry and Meghan #298 The half price Prince

[OOps2022]

Hi, I've been lurking for the last few days, with no intention to post whatsoever, but I have to just tell you that the title of this thread made me do it, it's absolutely AMAZING

my observation: the parts of the book that I saw here look like they were written by someone who never read a good book or never wrote anything for school and is at this excited teenager phase when you discover you can write down everything you think and you think it's so profound. you know, before you learn how to censor yourself sometimes and delete some things you wrote before showing them to people.

I had no intention to follow this topic but once I started I so much could not believe it's all for real that I just got sunk in into this and I can't stop now (at least after the whole book is analysed it's just unbelievable. why do it to yourself Harry, you would be so much happier if you left the past in the past and looked to the future enjoying time with your kids.

 

[Cakeyface]

Fastest selling book, blah blah....

I asked in WH Smith's how many books had been sold. 3!!!!! Tbf it is Wales and the royals aren't exactly popular, but bloody 3.

Am kind of proud of people locally shunning it

 

[DanDanTheIceCreamMan]

I'm behind, but I've taken to watching Upstairs, Downstairs as it's more true to life (Mrs Bridges has just stolen a baby, for those who care)

We don't have the emojis for this, so take note anytime I react to anything on this thread my face will almost certainly look like this:

 

[FrancesDundee80]

100% the ghost writer was kicked out way, way, way in the beginning. The language is TW over and over and her Harlequin talent for empty metaphors.

 

[MrsDimSum]

Harry and Meghan #299 - Giving us all the Ick by putting his Mummy’s face cream on his Dick

 

[LadyMuck]

Piers is spot on. H claims to hate the press but he's happy to give them his story. He doesn't hate the press he wants to control the press

 

[Crabbypatty00]

I love Camilla a little bit more for suggesting they move to Bermuda. What a legend. I bet she was cracking up when she tried to suggest it with a straight face. Rothmans king-size in one hand and a sherry in the other.

 

[Meemew]

Still, despite the mounting stress, the terrible pressure, we managed to protect our essential bond, never snapping at each other during those few days. As we came to the final hours of her visit, we were solid, happy, and Meg announced she wanted to make me a special goodbye lunch. There was nothing in my fridge, as usual. But there was a Whole Foods down the street. I gave her directions, the safest route, past the Palace guards, turn right, towards Kensington Palace Gardens, down to Kensington High Street, there’s a police barrier, take a right and you’ll see Whole Foods. It’s massive, you can’t miss it. I had an engagement but I’d be home soon.
Baseball cap, jacket, head down, side gate. You’ll be fine, I promise.
Two hours later, when I got home, I found her inconsolable. Sobbing. Shaking. What is it? What’s happened? She could barely get the story out.
She’d dressed just as I’d advised, and she’d run happily, anonymously, up and down the supermarket aisles. But as she rode the escalator a man approached. Excuse me, do you know where the exit is? Oh, yes, I think it’s just up here to the left. Hey! You’re on that program—Suits, am I right? My wife loves you. Oh. That’s so nice! Thanks. What’s your name? Jeff. Nice to meet you, Jeff. Please tell her I said thanks for watching. I will. Can I get a picture…you know, for my mum? Thought you said it was your wife. Oh. Yeah. Heh. Sorry, I’m just grocery shopping today. His face changed. Well, even if I can’t take a picture WITH you…that doesn’t stop me taking pictures OF you! He whipped out his phone and followed her to the deli counter, snapping away while she looked at the turkey. F the turkey, she thought, hurrying to the checkouts. He followed her there too. She got into the queue. Before her were rows and rows of magazines and newspapers, and on all of them, under the most shocking and disgusting headlines…was her. The other customers noticed as well. They looked at the magazines, looked at her, and now they too pulled out their phones, like zombies. Meg caught two cashiers sharing a horrible smile. After paying for her groceries, she walked outside, straight into a group of four men with their iPhones aimed at her. She kept her head down, rushed up Kensington High Street. She was nearly home when a horse-drawn carriage came rolling out of Kensington Palace Gardens. Some sort of parade: the Palace gate was blocked. She was forced back along the main road, where the four men picked up the scent again, and chased her all the way to the main gate, screaming her name. When she finally got inside Nott Cott, she’d phoned her best girlfriends, each of whom asked: Is he worth this, Meg? Is anyone worth this? I put my arms around her, said I was sorry. So sorry. We just held each other, until I slowly became aware of the most delicious smells. I looked around. Hang on. You mean…after all that…you still made lunch? I wanted to feed you before I left.

Prince Harry, The Duke of Sussex.

OMFG THIS LITERALLY DIDN’T HAPPEN NO ONE KNEW WHO THE FUCK SHE WAS! Lololololol

 

[goldshoes]

even turning down a very dreamy bike trip through the lavender fields of southern France…

She failed to tell him she was the bike

 

[coconochanel]

I think this book deserves an award for best comedy.

 

[Autisteuse]

She could tell what was happening, she got that she was an eyewitness, that she’d forever be part of our personal mythology.

After frenetic bouts of vomiting and nausea, I had a thought… The Royal Family has been around for 1,000 years. It’s survived invasions, bankruptcy, treachery, regicide, dictatorship, Henry VIII and even Wallis Simpson.
The RF is going nowhere. This puny little boil on the arse of humanity and his ghastly wife are not going to win, not going to be able to change anything. Leaks will start, oh yes - dim-bulb royal doesn’t understand that PR exists to portray the good side of their client (while being represented by Sunshine Sachs? Groundbreaking!!) - and they won’t be pretty. We have all these staffers to hear from. Everyone Meghag has ever been rude to. The nasty little secrets covered up for Hazzard, whose ‘cheeky chappie’/‘military hero’ image was burnished by the very men in grey he despises, will seep out. I wonder if Charles will pay Meghag off when she does a narc discard on Harry?
-Oh, also - don’t you just LOVE it when a whiter-than-white white guy tells us what racism is, in the same breath as he describes removing 25 brown people as if they weren’t human? Incredible self-awareness right there.

 

[Lilliesgran]

even turning down a very dreamy bike trip through the lavender fields of southern France…

 

[JAR21]

Tom Bower

Doria disappears for 10 years from MM's life - legally I can't tell you why!!!!!!

 

[Kezzle1]

I think @Anna2020 should get honorary VIP status for their sterling work this evening!

 

[vp79]

REUNITED. A quiet night at Nott Cott, preparing dinner together. December 2016. Meg and I had discovered that we shared the same favorite food: roast chicken. I didn’t know how to cook it, so that night she was teaching me. I remember the warmth of the kitchen, the wonderful smells. Lemon wedges on the cutting board, garlic and rosemary, gravy bubbling in a saucepan. I remember rubbing salt on the skin of the bird, then opening a bottle of wine. Meg put on music.
Maybe the wine went to my head. Maybe the weeks of battling the press had worn me down. For some reason, when the conversation took an unexpected turn, I became touchy. Then angry. Disproportionately, sloppily angry. Meg said something I took the wrong way. It was partly a cultural difference, partly a language barrier, but I was also just over-sensitive that night. I thought: Why’s she having a go at me? I snapped at her, spoke to her harshly—cruelly. As the words left my mouth, I could feel everything in the room come to a stop. The gravy stopped bubbling, the molecules of air stopped orbiting. Even Nina Simone seemed to pause. Meg walked out of the room, disappearing for a full fifteen minutes. I went and found her upstairs. She was sitting in the bedroom. She was calm, but said in a quiet, level tone that she would never stand for being spoken to like that. I nodded. She wanted to know where it came from. I don’t know. Where did you ever hear a man speak like that to a woman? Did you overhear adults speak that way when you were growing up? I cleared my throat, looked away. Yes. She wasn’t going to tolerate that kind of partner. Or co-parent. That kind of life. She wasn’t going to raise children in an atmosphere of anger or disrespect. She laid it all out, super-clear. We both knew my anger hadn’t been caused by anything to do with our conversation. It came from somewhere deep inside, somewhere that needed to be excavated, and it was obvious that I could use some help with the job. I’ve tried therapy, I told her. Willy told me to go. Never found the right person. Didn’t work. No, she said softly. Try again.

Prince Harry, The Duke of Sussex.

The gravy stopped bubbling?? oh god no, the inhumanity of it all.

Stupid British gravy, obviously just racist like the calamari.

 

[Cakeyface]

She'd turn down a week with Prince Harry?! Fuckin' ell. She'd take Ashley Cole up the shitter on a kiss and tell if there was money to be made.

Oh Harry. Take it your brains are in your dick... The frozen bit

 

[Anna2020]

Our dinner guests were my cousin Euge, her boyfriend Jack, and my mate Charlie. The salmon turned out perfectly and everyone complimented Meg on her culinary talents. They also devoured her stories. They wanted to hear all about Suits. And her travels. I was grateful for their interest, their warmth. The wine was as good as the company, and there was plenty of it, and after dinner we moved into the snug, put on music and silly hats, and danced. I have a fuzzy memory, and a grainy video on my phone, of Charlie and me rolling on the floor while Meg sat nearby laughing. Then we got into the tequila. I remember Euge hugging Meg, as if they were sisters. I remember Charlie giving me a thumbs-up. I remember thinking: If meeting the rest of my family goes like this, we’re home free. But then I noticed that Meg was feeling poorly. She complained of an upset stomach and looked terribly pale. I thought: Uh-oh, lightweight. She took herself off to bed. After a nightcap I saw our guests out and tidied up a bit. I got into bed around midnight and crashed out, but I woke at two A.M. to hear her in the bathroom, being sick, truly sick, not the drunken sick I’d imagined. Something else was going on. Food poisoning. She revealed that she’d had squid for lunch at a restaurant. British calamari! Mystery solved. From the floor she said softly: Please tell me you’re not having to hold back my hair while I’m vomiting. Yes. I am. I rubbed her back and eventually put her to bed. Weak, near tears, she said she’d imagined a very different end to Date Four. Stop, I said. Taking care of each other? That’s the point. That’s love, I thought, though I managed to keep the words inside.

Prince Harry, The Duke of Sussex

 

[LadyMuck]

Can imagine all the comedians having fun with this. Ricky Gervais, Jimmy Carr, Norton etc. He's given them enough material for a year

 

[givepeasachance]

Tom Bower: "Doria used and sold drugs and then disappeared for ten years - but I cannot legally tell you why"

 

[Anna2020]

I’d always told myself that there were firm rules about relationships, at least when it came to royalty, and the main one was that you absolutely must date a woman for three years before taking the plunge. How else could you know about her? How else could she know about you—and your royal life? How else could both of you be sure that this was what you wanted, that it was a thing you could endure together? It wasn’t for everybody. But Meg seemed the shining exception to this rule. All rules. I knew her straightaway, and she knew me. The true me. Might seem rash, I thought, might seem illogical, but it’s true: For the first time, in fact, I felt myself to be living in truth.

Prince Harry, The Duke of Sussex