This!! I've known a few gay men and never experienced anything like that or thought it was a thing until this year. At uni this one gay kid made comments like; what's great about women you have big balls of large strapped to your chest, made comments about my body, constant jokes about getting a chance to bed my man, that straight men aren't really straight they're at least a bit gay and don't go for men because of societal pressure, having a thinner waist that is desired by women.. maybe I'm over thinking it but this was weird afhi! finally read through the thread, a lot of thought provoking posts and I must say, I’m glad this thread exists. I consider myself a supportive trans ally, but after one occasion when I voiced some reasonable concerns (without hateful tone or disparaging trans folk), I was told that I was raising red flags, so I’ve been hesistant to say even remotely otherwise since.
sorry, I brought up ‘gay man’ because a lot of gay men tend to be misogynistic as all hell and genuinely transphobic (not gender critical but transphobic). I’m bi so I’m in the LGBT circle (on social media especially) and I’ve heard and seen gay men use vulgar language about women (we are revolting, our vaginas are vomit worthy, we are hysterical witches, we are bland AF, etc.)
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Crying over it - does anyone relate to that? I’m certainly not crying. I will never refer to myself as a cis woman though, it’s not necessary.
Talking about being a woman is so taboo at the moment, it is being called ‘literally violence’ against trans women. They are portrayed as so fragile that a difference of opinion can’t be handled and women must be silenced and ridiculed.
sorry if this doesn’t make sense, I’ve had 2/3 of a sleeping table
Talking about being a woman is so taboo at the moment, it is being called ‘literally violence’ against trans women. They are portrayed as so fragile that a difference of opinion can’t be handled and women must be silenced and ridiculed.
sorry if this doesn’t make sense, I’ve had 2/3 of a sleeping table
I don’t think it’s fair to say anybody is crying over it, that feels so reductive and a bit ‘oh silly women and their feelz’ 
I'm sorry but I don't want to see a pen when I'm getting naked in the changing room is that so wrong?
Most of us want people to be comfortable and safe even if we don't understand it completely but should everything just be changed to accomodate one group of people? and there are real trans people out there but how can you tell the difference between that and someone who does it for other reasons pervy or not.
People need to stop throwing labelling people as transphobic so easily.
Most of us want people to be comfortable and safe even if we don't understand it completely but should everything just be changed to accomodate one group of people? and there are real trans people out there but how can you tell the difference between that and someone who does it for other reasons pervy or not.
People need to stop throwing labelling people as transphobic so easily.
It can’t be taken away because it isn’t theirs to be appropriated. Fragile femininity my a.
I've gotten
nice ass shouted at me... I was wearing sweatpants. or how bout men whispering sexy in your ear when your walking down the street in jeans and no my bits weren't out. in primary school guys would try and look up my skirt as a joke or rub up against us if the opportunity comes. Who here would never jog outside in public cause it's uncomfortable if you have a big chest? (stares,traffic stopping, comments - my friend jogs and doesn't give a duck) I sure don't. This is learned male behaviour people that all the above is ok because it's a joke.
read back a few pages how tf are cross-dressing men under the trans umbrella? I'm sorry trans for me is = gender dysmorphia. From what I understand cross dressers are just men who like to dress up as women sometimes.
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I just cannot imagine caring if someone wants to refer to me as cis. It’s not taking anything away from me. I’m a woman and nothing can take that away. I’m comfortable. There is a lot of transphobia in this thread. Also a lot of good points raised by some re: the sport thing.
And crying is just an expression. You can interchange it with whining if you like.
And crying is just an expression. You can interchange it with whining if you like.
what has been transphobic though? I haven't read everything but most people don't seem to be hatefull? there's valid points being brought up? the cis thing doesn't bother me as much as others but I can see their point of view, I mean you live your whole life being called a woman and now suddenly you're a sub category? isn't it a bit weird?
Also one of the biggest underlining issues is that the trans men/cis men other side of this debate is never brought up by the media, why is it so quiet? all I hear are crickets .. given that I think it's normal to wonder what's going on
A trans women cannot put on a dress, wig and makeup and claim they are a women ffs. They can’t just have the nice side of being a female and skip out the difficult parts such as child birth, periods, menopause etc. There is more to being a women/ female than just looking like one !!!! I’m sick of this debate.
Saying trans women aren’t women is transphobic to me. Constantly bringing up a couple of cases where there’s been a questionable person accessing women’s toilets as if it’s a common occurrence. As you say though there are good points in here too but some people are just horrible
I am also sick of being told women have periods and give birth like that defines a woman.
I'm personally on the fence tbh. Don't agree with everything but what I see on twitter really shocks me, the "suck my fool reply" from transwomen for example really really puts me off and makes me question it because that's such a manly thing to say. Makes me wonder how socialization comes into play, whereas when I see a transwoman not exhibiting male vibes I'm not as doubtfull about their claims. I hope that made sense, I just think it's so trendy right now that it's hard to know who to take seriously..
If a woman wants to have a child they almost certainly will need a career break. That shapes a life. Having PMS or PMDD or endometriosis shapes a life. Being grape shapes a life. Being paid less than male counterparts dictates a woman’s resources and independence.
You’re sick of it are you? How cool and impressive that you can rise above the material reality of being a woman.
endometriosis sufferer here... gotta say that's a valid point. I've missed school, I've missed work that has affected my pay, I've been told a billion times periods aren't so bad and that I'm faking it when it turned out I had this all along, this has affected my focus when forced to be at school/work I need to buy pills, I need to regularly see my doc who charges me a fee, get expensive tests regularly according to some research eating a healthier, more restricted, more expensive diet would help, got sick not always on my period because of it, It did shape my life quite a bit..
Well none of those things have ever happened to me so I guess I’m not a woman
good to knowactually no I have had PMS. Phew I’m a woman again
There’ll always be some who bring the struggle of others down. I’d never not speak up for trans rights just because of some bad apples though.
I’m not saying you’re not a woman if you don’t experience that, I’m saying why it’s often repeated. It’s a big deal to a lot of people.Well none of those things have ever happened to me so I guess I’m not a woman
actually no I have had PMS. Phew I’m a woman again
There’ll always be some who bring the struggle of others down. I’d never not speak up for trans rights just because of some bad apples though.
I just don’t see the point in forever bringing up periods and pregnancy etc to try and define womanhood. Not denying they’re all important things. But it shouldn’t make you feel like you have to take away from trans women.
Being a woman is great and as a whole I love it. I’m more into welcoming someone who feels like they were born into the wrong body into it than trying to exclude them.
Being a woman is great and as a whole I love it. I’m more into welcoming someone who feels like they were born into the wrong body into it than trying to exclude them.
I agree with you it shouldn’t take away from trans women. Do you think women need to mute their own experiences in order to make room?
If women weren’t still suffering all over the world because of things like pregnancy and period poverty, I don’t think it would come up.
What is interesting is that women discussing this is seen as transphobic or an infringement on trans rights or a stinginess.
People who steam in and say everyone is a TERF or transphobic are not helping the cause. It’s so dehumanising for trans people to act as if a reasonable discussion of how to create a society with room for everyone is phobic of them.
Yes they’re a vulnerable group with higher risk of violence and shorter than average life expectancy. But they’re not lower humans who need to be protected from reality or other people’s needs. They need safety, acceptance and opportunities, protection in law and good access to non biased healthcare. So do women. In that sense the two groups are very closely aligned. It doesn’t mean they’re exactly the same but they have shared interests.
It’s my belief that both groups would do better if they faced reality together and worked to find a way of living which is mutually beneficial.
Do they need a massive storm whipped up by ‘allies’ saying ‘ooooooooh I wooodnt have that if I were you, she’s a transphobe! I’m your best friend now! Look at me!’ How is that helping anyone? Some people need to ask themselves are they into tangibly helping vulnerable people or are they enjoying the smugness that goes with shouting ‘transphobe!!!’ at every opportunity. I don’t think history will look kindly on the people who used extreme language to silence reasonable opinions.
If women weren’t still suffering all over the world because of things like pregnancy and period poverty, I don’t think it would come up.
What is interesting is that women discussing this is seen as transphobic or an infringement on trans rights or a stinginess.
People who steam in and say everyone is a TERF or transphobic are not helping the cause. It’s so dehumanising for trans people to act as if a reasonable discussion of how to create a society with room for everyone is phobic of them.
Yes they’re a vulnerable group with higher risk of violence and shorter than average life expectancy. But they’re not lower humans who need to be protected from reality or other people’s needs. They need safety, acceptance and opportunities, protection in law and good access to non biased healthcare. So do women. In that sense the two groups are very closely aligned. It doesn’t mean they’re exactly the same but they have shared interests.
It’s my belief that both groups would do better if they faced reality together and worked to find a way of living which is mutually beneficial.
Do they need a massive storm whipped up by ‘allies’ saying ‘ooooooooh I wooodnt have that if I were you, she’s a transphobe! I’m your best friend now! Look at me!’ How is that helping anyone? Some people need to ask themselves are they into tangibly helping vulnerable people or are they enjoying the smugness that goes with shouting ‘transphobe!!!’ at every opportunity. I don’t think history will look kindly on the people who used extreme language to silence reasonable opinions.
I think that's really well put. the few times I've brought up my thoughts to extreme left people most had no answers to my questions just "they just are women"
@gigi_93 I don't mean to be rude but I really don't think you get what we've been saying. Stating trans women are not women is not transphobic. It's just fact. Under the new umbrella of trans, anyone can identify themselves as a woman just because they want to. That's their prerogative if they want to do so but they are not the same as women. They have no business getting upset over simple facts like "women have periods". Not all women have periods, for many reasons, but only women can have them. That is just fact. Have we lost our minds as a society that this is even up for debate?
Links have been posted here from post op transsexual people who have experienced actual gender dysphoria and they don't agree with the modern trans ideology. Are they transphobic? No of course they're not.
And it's a bit rich to say posters here have been horrible when you have made comments about "feeble femininity" and urging some people to never have kids
Links have been posted here from post op transsexual people who have experienced actual gender dysphoria and they don't agree with the modern trans ideology. Are they transphobic? No of course they're not.
And it's a bit rich to say posters here have been horrible when you have made comments about "feeble femininity" and urging some people to never have kids
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My transphobe comment was towards the comments I saw saying trans women aren’t women and the people bringing up extremely rare occurrences in order to trash them. To me that is transphobia. I don’t throw the word around lightly. But I believe they are women and have a right to be identified as such. It takes nothing from me. I used to see trans people quite often through my old work and I’d hate for them to be constantly told they aren’t women or men.
Also no I don’t think women need to mute their own experiences to make room. I’ve never felt unable to speak about my experiences as a woman because of trans women and if one made me genuinely feel that way I would call them out. Honestly I’m much more offended by the whole “BUT PERIODS AND BABIES!!” argument
And I stand by the fact you shouldn’t have kids if you’d have a problem with them being trans. Not sure how that is horrible.
Also no I don’t think women need to mute their own experiences to make room. I’ve never felt unable to speak about my experiences as a woman because of trans women and if one made me genuinely feel that way I would call them out. Honestly I’m much more offended by the whole “BUT PERIODS AND BABIES!!” argument
And I stand by the fact you shouldn’t have kids if you’d have a problem with them being trans. Not sure how that is horrible.
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