Gender discussions

[Zenchick101]

I think I'll add my two cents here:
I want to welcome transwomen, the main problem I see is that they get offended and I'm sorry but some forcefully demand us to forget that there's major differences between women and transwomen, the biological aspects, the socialized aspects. They'll never be a part of that and most want to erase that from the mere definition of being a woman. They still possess the assertive and aggressive qualities that men instinctively possess. Whereas Transmen don't care, don't mind men talking about things like prostate cancer, aren't a threat to men (whereas a tall heavy male bodied person in a dress is), there are way less spaces for vulnerable men and transmen are just cool living their lives like the best possible men they can be. -> From twitter from men and transmen.

on the topic of children and wether there trans or not, I think what most people are trying to say is this: they would love and support their child in the best way possible, they wouldn't immediately think theyre trans just because they wanted to play with toys that don't fit their sex or liked things "accepted" outside their sex, which judging by the comments of some people on family channels for example is a real thing. They would take the time to see with a therapist if the child had gender dysphoria (the amount of times I said I wanted to be a boy omg) and then go from there and help them be the person they need to be. Even if I don't understand it completely I'd support my child being trans if that's what's best for them. --> and that's what people mean they might not get it but they'd support them 100%

 

[Uninteresteduna]

Fragile femininity because a lot of people on here seem convinced that trans women are going to take away their womanhood. Crying about being called a “cis” woman. It’s just silly.

duck OFF

If you think parents not accepting their trans children is ok then I don’t know what to tell you. Maybe you’re offended because you’re one of them

totally ok for parents not to accept their lesbian or gay child, reasign their gender instead and put them through life changing medical treatment

 

[LittleMy]

Nobody likes being labelled against their own will. Why should biological women feel any differently about the term “cis”? I never asked to be referred to as such.

 

[Zenchick101]

Nobody likes being labelled against their own will. Why should biological women feel any differently about the term “cis”? I never asked to be referred to as such.

it's to make transwomen feel better about being in a seperate category.

 

[bubbletea123]

it's to make transwomen feel better about being in a seperate category.

It is ridiculous to coddle them. They are trans and will never be a "real" woman. Just how it is.

 

[Uninteresteduna]

As far as I'm concerned, there's nothing transphobic or monstrous about preferring my daughter not to be trans. If she's a lesbian, no problem at all. The same if she is bisexual. Or heterosexual. However, if she gravitates towards stereotypically 'masculine' activities and clothes, and is therefore told she is a 'boy' and put on (untested) puberty blockers leading to a lifetime of hormones and medication, then what sort of mother would I be if I condoned that?

I was anorexic as a teenager. If my parents had supported my self-starvation and body dismorphia, they would have been labelled abusive, and rightly so. As it happened, I was offered support and counselling to switch my self-perception and accept my body.

If my daughter comes to me and tells me she feels uncomfortable in her sexed body, the answer is not to change her body, it's to work on why she feels that way. It's to assure her that her female body is a wonderful, normal, useful and acceptable thing. That does not make me a monster.

Completely agree.
Growing up I played football and with “boys toys”. Hated my body going through puberty (Believe this is common for most teenagers?!). If someone told me I could have changed my gender I probably would have done. However - I love being a woman now - a masculine woman but a woman! This whole trans thing is a danger to our hard won women rights (and also the rights of genuine trans women).
Top 3 concerns:
stereotyping of gender roles
conversion of gay children (trans erasure).
safety and privacy of women’s spaces

 

[gigi_93]

duck OFF


totally ok for parents not to accept their lesbian or gay child, reasign their gender instead and put them through life changing medical treatment

Nobody said that. Maybe try putting your point across a little more eloquently.

 

[Uninteresteduna]

Nobody said that. Maybe try putting your point across a little more eloquently.

Naaahhhh

 

[Zenchick101]

It is ridiculous to coddle them. They are trans and will never be a "real" woman. Just how it is.

I saw one tweet from a FTM stating that.

 

[Uninteresteduna]

Its

I saw one tweet from a FTM stating that.

its ridiculous
Yet again men’s feelings trumps women’s.

 

[Zenchick101]

Its

its ridiculous
Yet again men’s feelings trumps women’s.

yep- this was someone stating that they'll never be an actual man but are ok/dealing with the fact that they're a trans man. only ftm state this but you never here mtf state this.

 

[Uninteresteduna]

 

[maytoseptember]

I was anorexic as a teenager. If my parents had supported my self-starvation and body dismorphia, they would have been labelled abusive, and rightly so. As it happened, I was offered support and counselling to switch my self-perception and accept my body.

If my daughter comes to me and tells me she feels uncomfortable in her sexed body, the answer is not to change her body, it's to work on why she feels that way. It's to assure her that her female body is a wonderful, normal, useful and acceptable thing. That does not make me a monster.

It’s being quite widely reported that, for teenage girls, being trans is the new anorexia. And I think the psychological roots are the same - hating the changing body and all the tit that comes hand in hand with womanhood. Why do we affirm girls who want to be boys by giving them blockers and testosterone? Why don’t we affirm anorexia in the same way with diet pills and gastric bypasses? Why is dysphoria not considered a psychiatric illness but anorexia is?

 

[Mercedes12]

If you think parents not accepting their trans children is ok then I don’t know what to tell you. Maybe you’re offended because you’re one of them

I feel like I’m the only person on this thread who agrees with your views. If I had a child and they were trans, I would fully support them in doing whatever they needed to do to be happy.

I watched a documentary once about trans children and a mother describing how she caught her 6 year old contemplating cutting his pen off as his dysphoria was that severe. She said that she would rather let hlive as a girl than to for her to kill herself.

Also I just don’t understand this whole idea of womanhood being threatened by the existence of trans women. Why do people always need to assume a minority is taking something away from you if they want to live their lives? It’s bad enough seeing “all lives matter” in response to BLM.

Im not calling anyone a TERF, I’m just seeing a lot of ignorant comments - that if you are born a man you are man and you will never be a woman. It’s so easy to speak this way when you will never experience what life is like for these people.

 

[BostonFernGreen]

I feel like I’m the only person on this thread who agrees with your views. If I had a child and they were trans, I would fully support them in doing whatever they needed to do to be happy.

I watched a documentary once about trans children and a mother describing how she caught her 6 year old contemplating cutting his pen off as his dysphoria was that severe. She said that she would rather let hlive as a girl than to for her to kill herself.

Also I just don’t understand this whole idea of womanhood being threatened by the existence of trans women. Why do people always need to assume a minority is taking something away from you if they want to live their lives? It’s bad enough seeing “all lives matter” in response to BLM.

Im not calling anyone a TERF, I’m just seeing a lot of ignorant comments - that if you are born a man you are man and you will never be a woman. It’s so easy to speak this way when you will never experience what life is like for these people.

I’m trying to find someone to ask genuine questions to about this. Maybe I could ask you? I’m not trying to be confrontational, I genuinely want to understand.

 

[Mercedes12]

I’m trying to find someone to ask genuine questions to about this. Maybe I could ask you? I’m not trying to be confrontational, I genuinely want to understand.

Sure? I’m not the most knowledgeable person when it comes to the subject but I’ll try and answer

 

[SilentSue]

I feel like I’m the only person on this thread who agrees with your views. If I had a child and they were trans, I would fully support them in doing whatever they needed to do to be happy.

I watched a documentary once about trans children and a mother describing how she caught her 6 year old contemplating cutting his pen off as his dysphoria was that severe. She said that she would rather let hlive as a girl than to for her to kill herself.

But why is removing body parts seen as the best solution? What about counselling and therapy? And in what other situation is suicide seen as leverage?

 

[LittleMy]

But it’s true. Biologically speaking, at least. There’s nothing ignorant in stating that fact. How people wish to identify is their prerogative, but it does not eliminate fact.

I assume you’ve read the thread, so won’t reiterate what’s already been said in regards to rights to safe spaces etc. Everyone has a right to a safe space, but one should not compromise the other. No one here is against Trans women and nobody has said that they would treat their child any less if they had gender dysphoria and wanted to transition.

Many parents would want to support their child by first seeking professional help (talking therapies etc) and treat it as the mental illness that it is above taking drastic action to change their body. That is a last resort, and a decision that should never be taken lightly. There are so many cases where people transition only to later regret it.

 

[Mercedes12]

But why is removing body parts seen as the best solution? What about counselling and therapy? And in what other situation is suicide seen as leverage?

I don’t believe it is the best or only solution, I know there are a lot of trans people that don’t have the full surgery as they don’t feel like they need to. I would encourage counselling and seeking help (I’m a massive advocate of therapy in general!), from what I’ve read you would need to undergo in-depth assessments which I assume would include talking therapies before any physical treatment would even be considered if going through NHS (years down the line it could be). But if the dysphoria persisted and was that strong, I’d rather my child be happy than them harm themselves because they are so deeply unhappy.

Obviously I wouldn’t let a child access hormones etc before they were 18 (I’m not sure if this is even legal in the UK?). I don’t think there is even an argument for, would you let your child have a sex change in terms of surgery because I’m pretty sure that’s not legal in any country!

Same as having a child who’s not heterosexual, the only thing that would upset me is the possibility of other people making their life harder.

 

[gigi_93]

I feel like I’m the only person on this thread who agrees with your views. If I had a child and they were trans, I would fully support them in doing whatever they needed to do to be happy.

I watched a documentary once about trans children and a mother describing how she caught her 6 year old contemplating cutting his pen off as his dysphoria was that severe. She said that she would rather let hlive as a girl than to for her to kill herself.

Also I just don’t understand this whole idea of womanhood being threatened by the existence of trans women. Why do people always need to assume a minority is taking something away from you if they want to live their lives? It’s bad enough seeing “all lives matter” in response to BLM.

Im not calling anyone a TERF, I’m just seeing a lot of ignorant comments - that if you are born a man you are man and you will never be a woman. It’s so easy to speak this way when you will never experience what life is like for these people.

I’m glad someone sees my view so thank you for commenting. Some of the comments in this thread have truly shocked me. There’s also been some good points raised and most people have been eloquent in sharing their views so it’s not all bad.

Yeah, for every minority group there are people who think they’re taking things away from them and feel extremely threatened. It’s strange.