I think my main concern is not that transgender people exist but the dangerous identity poltics occurring where women are finding that the word woman, mother, female etc are being erased in the name of inclusivity and yet men still keep their identities, language etc without any push back. Any woman who says "hang on a minute, I am a woman, not a 'cervix haver', I am a breastfeeding mother, not a 'chest feeder'" are becoming increasingly dismissed as hateful, and told to shut up.
There should be ways to be respectful and inclusive of trans people and personally I think that should be third spaces in terms of toilets, healthcare settings that are sensitive to sex characteristics such as maternity wards, obgyn clinics, rape crisis centres, womens swimming sessions etc, and also by including/acknowledging trans people ALONGSIDE women in wording in literature, for example, cervical smear invitations should be explained as a routine service for women, AND people with cervixes, not just rebranded to 'people with cervixes'. When you try to include people, it shouldn't be to the detriment of a larger majority. It is offensive, imo, to expect all women to be okay with their identity being erased.
I also don't agree that people should be irreversibly lopping off or grafting on body parts when they are 13. I understand some people are dysphoric but when I was 13 I still half believed in Santa, I only just understood what a uterus was, and was only just getting to hear about the birds and the bees at school. It's definitely not an age to make a decision to take puberty blockers. Sure, transition as an adult, but maiming onself physically at a prepubescent age just strikes me as harmful, and children should be protected from that until they are truly cognicient of the consequences in balance to the perceived benefits. Also especially as we hear so many dysphoric girls are also autistic or have other mental health considerations like depersonisation that needs appropriate care and time to be supported. Who is to say they should undergo a sex change so young when it is very plausible that they have social difficulties and are learning to navigate themselves in the world? Why is a sex transition the definite solution to their difficulty? These people deserve proper time and support to come to that conclusion themselves without peer pressure or immediate affirmation.
I've said countless times in these threads it is not in my nature to hate anyone wilfully, but I also refuse to accept the absolute mysogyny facing women in this gender identity storm. Sometimes it hurts me to be perceived as on the "bad" side but I know in my heart if I was to turn my back on womens' sex based protections then I would be a traitor to myself. Just my opinion.
In an ideal world, we would recognise that there are adult human females, adult human males and adult human people who do not identify with M or F. All should have a right to a happy life. All should have a right to a life where they are not discriminated against my a patriarchy. One day hopefully trans people can exist without fear of violence, but so should all females (and males). If TRAs we see on social media stopped being so aggressive in taking over the identity of women, and respected womens' safe spaces, then perhaps trans people might find more people are willing to ensure they get what they need too, ALONGSIDE us.
Why can't TRAs in general respect women rather than try to change them?
At the end of the day I am just a scared woman wondering if in 10 years time I can still call myself a woman, or call myself a mother without someone calling me a b*itch for not saying 'birth giver', or whether my religious friends can carry on going to Tuesday Ladies swim night because they don't wish to swim with men, or whether young girls can go to school loos without some boys using self iD as a fun excuse to mess about. It seems so easy for that right to be abused for a laugh at that age.
I appreciate in an ideal world it's nice to say TWAW but in reality, saying TWAW causes a lot of confusion and infringes upon sex based rights of a lot of vulnerable women, imo.
I see so many women throw other women under the bus on this issue because they are personally comfortable with TWAW, but I say, when that statement is made, who is thinking of the elderly who have lived their whole lives fighting against mysogyny, and need ladies toilets in public places because they feel vulnerable? Who is thinking of some little girls who might grow up with persuasive friends and family who try to influence perception of their own sexual and gender identities? Who is thinking of the millions of women in countries where women are treated as barely second class citizens and would find the very few protections they have being taken away from them in the name of gender identities? Who is thinking of the women who are on waiting lists of months and months for smears or obgyn ops, worrying about conditions they are experiencing because a trans identifed 'woman' insists on having access to such tests when they don't have the requisite body parts? I appreciate this might be a very small minority but with growing entitlement, who knows how many waiting lists grow, to pander to feelings?! Who is thinking of the women who don't want to discuss intimate female anatomical concerns with a GP who is either a man, or a trans identifed woman, because inately, a woman might feel more comfortable talking and being examined by a woman?
How far does TWAW go? Are women not allowed to raise awareness and money for ovarian cancer charities, for example because TWAW might feel left out? How can a man be female if they don't have the requisite body part? Gender and sex therefore are different things. A man can dress. Like a woman but is not physically a woman.
I could go on but there are so many sex (antomical, science) based reasons why many people may feel intimidated by the idea of safe spaces being shared by trans identified women. Some religious, some social, some medical or sexual. Why should women be called TERFs for wanting to keep what our mothers have fought so hard for the past 200 years? Men have been protected for millenia, whereas women have only really been
somewhat respected and protected the past 200. I just can't accept that being erased now. It just feels too much like "be a dear and just let it happen", "be a dear, don't make a fuss".
I know myself and know it would break me to go around IRL telling trans people hateful things, I'm a nice person and care too much sometimes about being 'good'. However it is possible that most people that might be called TERFs are just people who want to be respected as women.
Maybe one day we'll all be cyborgs with circuit boards and none of this will matter, but until then, whilst society penalises me systematically for being female I will continue to speak up to keep what we already have.
TLDR it is possible to be wary of the erosion of womens sex based rights whilst not actually hating people. We are not all bigots.
This isn't aimed at anyone in particular, I just feel so upset about it all. I feel so gaslit by the 'TERF' retort that so many sling at women but not men.
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