Gender Discussion #57

[Metropolis]

Yes! And one he is very proud of too by the looks of things.

This is nothing to do with him personally but about 10 years ago there was a successful campaign to get this bloke Tara Hudson to serve his time in a women’s prison because he looked so feminine and was really suffering in a men’s jail (even though he was convinced for head butting a barman for telling him it was closing time and this was not his first offence for violence).

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tattle.life

It turned out that he was a sex worker and boasted in his online ads about his ‘7 inch surprise’ despite all the guff about how much surgery he’d had. And that he had no GRC and was legally male. I think that was the first time I started to think that we were being played.

Ah yes, I remember the ‘7 inch surprise’ and the pics that accompanied the Tara exposé .

Just seen that Barry McGuigan his dipped his toe into the water.

 

[Satisfying Click]

How many young women and girls have been told they are too tall, too broad, too fat, not dainty enough to be a ballerina. Guess not everyone gets told that

And this is how I know that the ballet school knows he's a man, because woman who pranced around with the poise of a potato wouldn't get a foot in the place, let alone a merit in an exam

 

[melfish]

I think Helen Joyce’s book would fit the bill best.

Thanks! That's the one I put in my cart. It's funny, I came on this thread to solidify my TWAW stance, and quite rapidly did a complete 180.

 

[weeweegie]

Wow, just fucking WOW. How very insulting.

Quite mind blowing. If we can’t name ourselves then how can we protect our rights? I take it the referendum will ask if the word man should be removed too? Who is voting on this, is it the Irish public or just the government?

Also when did we start pretending that sex based oppression was not a thing? I hate the term ‘gender based violence’ because it covers up that it’s violence against women and girls by MEN. Ask the women and girls of Afghanistan and Iran about the feckin gender IDENTITY. As if it matters!! They are being punished for their biological sex.

 

[HockyRorror]

There are questions that I thought were difficult to answer that are actually very simple in reality.

This sentence was striking to me and it encapsulates how I feel when I hear or read (mostly MPs) when they say “This is all very complicated” and I want to scream “NO! It ISN’T complicated. The only people that find it complicating are the ones who are purposely making it complicated! To the rest of the world, we are getting on just fine as we always have done, thanks. In humans, there are males and females. The two can’t ever switch. We are not dolls with detachable parts. The end.”

 

[Metropolis]

Was looking for an antidote to all this non-binary crap and am loving this:

Why being butch is a part of the female experience | Joelle Taylor

In spite of my appearance, I have never identified as a man. I identify as freedom, writes Joelle Taylor

www.independent.co.uk

In spite of my appearance, I have never identified as a man. I identify as freedom. I identify as resistance. For me, being butch is a part of the female experience – my masculinity is feminine. My clothing, my corporeality, is a way of pushing against gender stereotypes. Why can’t a woman wear a suit, or shave her hair? Why is that disruptive? As long as it is I will continue wear clothing that frightens grown men.

 

[malinky]

@terfette Your story is shocking- have you considered writing it up for the Transwidows website?

Why is it that trans individuals are treated like absolute simpletons with no resilience whatsoever?? Society is expected to treat them like utter children. I don't get it!?? People with cancer, severely physically disabled, pregnant women, none of these people get close to the same over consideration that trans individuals do!!

What the fuck is this about!???

I really don't understand it either. Large employers now have LGBTQ+ panels and I wonder what LGBT people actually need at work beyond the protections they have under the Equality Act. What does a lesbian need her employer to do beyond not discriminate against her? A friend of mine was caught up in this when they were asked to sign a pledge at work, swearing some kind of allegiance to LGBT people. Do LGBs want any of this? Or has all this nonsense mushroomed since the TQ+ craze? Sooner or later companies are going to cotton on to the fact that Stonewall law and the 'wants' of LGBT panels are leading to GC women winning expensive legal cases against their employers...

I am due to stay in another city next week. I was looking up places to eat while I'm away and saw a restaurant that claimed to be 'LGBTQ+ friendly'. What the hell does that mean? Are restaurants that don't make this assertion 'unsafe' for homosexuals? Either way, I crossed that restaurant off my list as I can't be arsed with it.

 

[IdeletedbutI'mbackagain]

It's not like that now it's actually my natural colour it did look good though, but I wouldn't swap how easy my natural hair is to look after again! I literally don't even have to use conditioner I think I'd die off if I had to go back to doing roots, toning and deep conditions

I think tbh, its a result of a few things. He was sexually, physically and mentally abused as a child, things I've had confirmed by people who knew him growing up, who witnessed things that tie in with things he's told me. The abuser is definitely on the more extreme end of misogyny too. One of the common themes seemed to be using comparisons with women as an insult. For example, telling him he had "girly" hips when he was carrying any weight there. I also believe the abuser did this so it seemed "less gay" on his own part.

I think that, coupled with a porn addiction is at the root of it.

His "female personality" is just a collection of stereotypes typically seen in porn, levelled at women by misogynists and random bits he has stolen from how he perceives my personality.

You see this confirms a lot of what I believe is at the root of this mania... I know it's only anecdotal but I truly believe that a lot of trans individuals have experienced child sexual abuse. That's why when you have parents proudly champion it (the likes of Tennant etc.) I'm always side eyeing...

I personally know how common child sex abuse is and it seems we are now in a world that would rather unquestionably believe someone is born in the wrong body (a ridiculous notion) than look at the uncomfortable reality of the ill that is in our society.

Affirm rather than look behind the curtain of abuse. It's so fucking sad and makes me so angry. No one is born "wrong", I can't believe we are in a society now that thinks telling people this is a kindness.

 

[Princess She-Ra]

Oh god I remember going through puberty and it was horrible. I was first in my class to develop breasts and I put on lots of weight as I stopped exercising as I was so embarrassed about “jiggling about” and that made me jiggle even more. I remember how painful my periods were when they started, I often took the first two days off school as the pain would make me vomit and I was terrified of bleeding through my clothes.
I thought no one had ever felt like this and I would hid myself away as much as possible with my arms folded over my chest to hide my boobs. I’m positive if I was 11 again and had been taught that I could change into a boy and all these problems would go away- I would be laying the emotional blackmail on thick to my parents to get puberty blockers!

I feel I’m more informed to help my kids through their teenage years (everyone hates me, I hate myself, etc), but trying to protect them from propaganda will be the biggest problem

 

[Mugglewump]

Contrapoints can’t speak for anyone but contrapoints. I’m glad you are actually taking the time to ask those of us who are GC, and female (although not all of us are female of course).

I was largely unaware and unbothered by ‘trans’ until Caitlin Jenner. I was a fan of the Kardashian’s at the time (for my sins lol) and was so shocked as I liked Bruce. To see him win a woman of the year award was pretty mind blowing and sent my head spinning. Pretty much kept away from anything to do with it all until it hit my workplace. They were set to amend the maternity policy and take out all traces of the words mother/female/she/her - not additive language (which would make me eye roll but fine), no, just the complete ERASURE of those words. It made me so mad!! The word mother is sacred and not to be replaced with parent or person who births or nonsense language they come up with. It made me start to question lots of things and ended up here and I was delighted to find I wasn’t the only one despairing. Sadly most of us are here anonymously because woman are pretty much gagged in our workplaces for speaking out and most of us can’t afford to lose our jobs.

If you think we are being OTT about the erasure of the word woman by the way there is a women called Milli Hill who documents examples of this happening on her Substack. It’s called ‘the word is woman’. It’s an eye opener and enraging.

I love Milli Hill and posted this on my FB a few days ago.

 

[maytoseptember]

To be fair, the Royal Academy of Dance isn't a prestigious school, it's a school that accept varying abilities and ages. I think some people are getting outraged because they're confusing it with the Royal Ballet.

The issue I have is that he's probably changing with the female dancers. A bloke who wants to don a tutu and prance around, I have no issue with. I do have an issue if he's calling himself a woman and forcing his way into female spaces (and we all know he will be doing that)

You’re right, he’s just a bloke taking an entry level ballet exam usually done by kids, a bit like doing Grade 1 piano or whatever.

The creepiest thing, for me, is he’s not cosplaying a woman, but a little girl.

 

[Elle]

Oh @Elle, you always pleasantly surprise me by sticking around when the conversation gets tough! I feel like you have an innate desire to be kind and do no harm so you are having difficulty to think/say trans women are not women because you are told it will be harmful to the wellbeing of a marginalised group. I can only speak for myself but I’m confident I’m not in the minority when I say I would never wish someone harm for being trans and in terms of being a valued person worthy of dignity and respect they are not even a bit less than anyone else. We are repeatedly told that if we say trans women are not women that means we hate them and feel they shouldn’t exist- we become part of the fictional trans-genocide but this simply isn’t true. I don’t wish them harm and I don’t want them to cease to exist. I just don’t want them in my protected spaces. I feel sorry for them if that’s hurtful but to me and many others it’s giving away protections and rights that women need and have fought for. Just giving them away to avoid being unkind. I also don’t want to see AGPs flaunt their fetish in public, that should be private like any other sexual behaviour and it’s not the same as a trans woman who tries to pass. You will often see extreme examples or hypotheses being given to support our arguments and you might think we are exaggerating or being hysterical (hysterical women eh!) but every single one of these things has or will happen if we continue down the path we are on. Up until fairly recently I would have been on the fence, paying lip service as I felt bad for these people “born in the wrong body” and doing my best to help minimise the indignity of it. But now I see that compelled speech is becoming a thing, if we don’t want to go along with it for whatever reason we are in danger (trouble with the law, rape/death threats from TRAs). That’s not ok with me. I’m sorry you felt piled on, I think you just raised some points people were keen to discuss. I have been repeatedly piled on elsewhere for saying anything remotely GC and this is another thing that makes me more steadfast. They are so militant and threatening, it’s no longer about wanting to be accepted and get on in the role of a woman, it’s about stamping out dissent and again, that’s not ok with me. They don’t get to tell me how to speak and what to believe when my perception tells me something different.
Sorry for long post, it’s just been on my mind.

Thanks for this. For me, you really hit the nail on the head with this post. I feel seen and I really agree with what you're saying. It does seem like a lot of GC rhetoric is being twisted or manipulated by the media to make GC women seem hysterical or flat out hateful (don't we just love the media ). I'm glad I came back to this thread where there are real, intelligent, rational people discussing things that some people are afraid to talk about or argue against.

 

[Hollaaa]

From the BBC website today, reporting on the Golden Globes: Gillian Anderson, meanwhile, wore a dress by designer Gabriela Hearst. She said it was embroidered with female anatomy, in a protest against restrictions on women's rights, Deadline reported.

Spoiler: Image of dress

 

[Django]

I'm glad that this disgusting advert for H&M in Australia is getting some backlash.

 

[Scotch Mist]

Maybe I'm being facetious but India says this is her 'first encounter with a terf within the NHS'. No idea how long she's been using the NHS as a trans woman but she says she's been at this GP surgery for 8 years....if you haven't had an encounter with a TERF within the NHS in at least at least 8 years (she will have 'encountered' them just not been aware of it) doesn't that just prove that TERFs aren't out to get you? They're minding their own business not spewing hate at you?
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I bet his GP practice were glad to see the back of him.

 

[Vanelope]

Male ballet dancers are so incredibly manly… it’s like women’s sports all over again

 

[weeweegie]

I can't really comment on this without the full story. On the surface it appears discriminatory but who knows what's under the surface.

Also this is a bit....pot, kettle, black, no?!
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India is absolutely bat shit crazy and I would say that I’m sure even if I wasn’t GC. He’s nuts and he DESPISES woman.

And nope, I’m not using she/her pronouns, there’s never been more of a bloke than this guy.

 

[Islawight]

Facts don’t have feelings. If you’re born a male you’re a male. End of.

 

[usefullyuseless]

Willoughby is dangerous and disgusting. Davina is such a fucking dose. & sorry, but including trans men in a call to arms to discuss their experiences of periods and menopause is surely just admitting that they are ACTUALLY WOMEN. Honestly, this all gets more laughable by the day. Sick of her monetising the menopause in any case - hasn't she got enough money?

Why would a trans man want to discuss periods, menopause etc? If misgendering causes them so much pain, how can they speak so freely about women's issues? Or is it just about attention?

 

[LauraGeeGee]

Trans charity shop worker exposed 'her penis' to two girls, court told

Samantha Norris, who is transitioning from a man to a woman, is accused of 'glorying' her nudity in front of the girls on two occasions in July, last year.

www.dailymail.co.uk

And another one.