As a continuation.....
So I was reading a few days ago how misgendering is considered traumatic and violent.
I get it, having people not *see* you for who you *really* are. How it can be damaging, I do actually understand this. I'm like this rough old mare who's a bit battered, scarred and tattooed, muscular. To top it off, I am the typical autism blunt, lack certain abilities with regards to correct emotional responses, tone of voice etc, so people assume that I'm a dark, depressed, intimidating, scary, pessimistic witch. Truth is, I love flowers, working out and photography and rainbows and cows with a bit of an interest in torture and murder thrown in.
So I can see why trans might *feel* how the feel about being misgendered because I'm mispersonalitied BUT.... what they don't appreciate is how it is to be worried about not getting pronouns correct all the damn time because not only is it a bit embarrassing for all concerned, 'oops, so sorry' but also because the person you accidentally misgendered could literally flip the duck out at you. Constantly walking on damn eggshells.
Yes, it must be hard to be whatevered but we are all whatevered every day in some way, some people are misgendered, some people are constantly assumed to be more capable or less capable based on age, sex, disability or assumptions made about who we are as a person based on appearances/history/religion/race. To be offended is a choice, sure, be upset but don't react in such an inflammatory way. There are ways of doing things without screaming transphobe at every tiny little thing. In the grand scheme of things, by bringing in so many options, by being able to be he/him whilst presenting as female and whatever other combinations, they haven't exactly made it easy and I'm not going to read every little damn badge I come across, first of all, I don't like staring at people's chests trying to figure out the tiny writing on the badge and secondly, I'm more interested in a name; a name is more important than a pronoun because that is WHO you actually are, not your damn pronoun.