Gender Discussion #22

[sheleg]

It’s interesting how we’re supposed to see “sex work as work” but also be horrified at pimps gathering at the Ukrainian border to pick off women desperate to leave, and condemn the fact that so many transwomen are sex workers.

What is it, libfems? Is sex work cool and valid and something to aspire to, or is it bad and dangerous? Because you can’t have it both ways.

 

[Escapist]

I use to work in a nursery. We had a baby who was 6months at the time and their parents wanted them to be non- binary. We had to refer to them as them and were not allowed to mention their gender at all. The parents would always say "it's up to them to choose their gender when they are old enough". I feel this is taking it too far. I have no problems with trans and am very much, live and let live.
However this attitude is going to cause so many issues and confusion for the child. I often think about them and wonder how they are navigating school life.

 

[judgejohndeed]

It’s genius really. Feeling your privilege? Just say you’re non binary! It’s made up anyway. It’ll make you feel special and everyone will pander to you! You’ll get to shout at people that get your pronouns wrong. You’ll feel drunk with power. Go on, boring privileged white cis het people - do it!!

Someone I'm working with at the moment recently 'came out' as non binary. He is a white male, has a male name, wears male clothes, has normal male hair and a beard. The only thing different since he's become 'non binary' is to constantly witter on about using they/them pronouns and to put them in his display name on vidoeconferencing platforms. Please, I'm begging you, get a real hobby

 

[FrannyGallops]

The absolute state of this

 

[nothanksbabes]

Earlier today I saw a tweet from a TiM saying how "validating" it is to get the (automated, presumably) letter inviting him for a cervical screening.

I just fucking despair, honestly. The ideas that an invasive (and for many, traumatic) medical procedure unique to women is a vehicle for validating the fantasies of deluded men is fucking gross.

 

[Ensay]

My daughter now has 2 friends that I'm told have 'they' pronouns. The first has an androgynous look but is female and attracted to men, the second is a female who has up to now identified as gay.
I'm totally puzzled why either of these young women no longer wish to use female pronouns. What advantage is there in declaring you are 'they'?

The younger brother of one of her friends (who is high functioning autistic) and in his late teens told his parents he was gay last year. I know his parents would be totally accepting of that so it wouldn't be difficult for him and they probably guessed anyway. Now my daughter has told me that this boy is secretly trans! and I mustn't say anything to his parents.

I seriously doubt that this young man has had much time to really explore life as a gay man. Again am very puzzled that he is now apparently a she.

I must admit I've tried (and failed) to understand the they/them thing.

I'm a gay man and liked playing netball when I was younger - which was deemed 'girly', even though it's not a million miles away from basketball, which I'd have played if I'd been offered it. But I never saw myself as a female in any way or as non-binary.

Born a bloke, fancy blokes, happy to stay as a bloke and a he/him thanks.

My views have changed over recent months. I used to think "be kind" but it does have an impact on us all. Someone asked me quite recently if I'd want to date a trans man and the honest answer is no.

My workplace hasn't yet asked us to add our pronouns in email signatures, but I suspect it's on the way. I was speaking to a friend about it (who works at a different place) and we both said we wouldn't bother adding it because we've both got obviously male names, plus we look and sound male, so it seems pointless?

 

[emm]

Kind of OT , but not sure anyone else published this here yet https://www.archive.is/oldest/https...es-and-the-parents-waiting-for-their-children
A couple (at least one) leaving a postpartum woman alone in a war zone This just epitomises for me how selfish using a poor surrogate is

 

[DoraMaar]

I don’t understand how her gender dysphoria allows her to feel comfortable in a tight swimsuit when her body still presents as male with clearly intact male genitalia, nor wander around the changing room with her parts on show as has been alleged.

what she is doing doesn’t seem like a meaningful transition TBH

This is not gender dysphoria - if that was the case. he would have changed colleges and transitioned quietly to his new life. This is an aggressive, mediocre, AGP male who enjoys the current situation - he is 'passing' in all the woke circles and is causing great distress to the women on the team - misogyny at its best.

 

[maytoseptember]

OPINION: Women Can't Have Sh*t

International Women's Day is rapidly approaching, and you know what that means: Wider troonery is going to have a conniption trying to ensure it is all about them. This shouldn't come as a surprise. We do this every year. It is almost a scheduled song and dance now. The moment anything intended...

www.reduxx.org

The title of this piece sums it all up.

 

[Ekathrina]

I had this argument with my daughter. Of course she might be happy, that does not mean every sex worker is. Also, what happens when she decides she no longer wants to do porn? Or Only Fans goes tits up? What if she needs a 'proper' job? If that many men are watching her, pound to a penny someone at a future workplace has seen her doing whatever it is she does. Maybe someone from HR, or some random bloke decides to try it on with blackmail thrown in for good measure. How can she ever have a normal life after doing that?

Believe it or not there are entire Facebook groups and subreddits set up by men solely to ‘out’ women who do OnlyFans to their family, friends, employers and local communities.

 

[katyazamo]

Is some of this Gender critical stuff, related to age? And a deliberate misunderstanding between generations of women? P;art of the cult of worshiping the young and ignoring the old?

I think some of it is down to age. A lot of the women who have spoken out tend to be 40+ and we know how society treats women once they reach a certain age. It is very easy to be swept up in the TWAW crap when you're 21 and so eager to please people and scared to put a foot wrong. However, you certainly give less of a f**k when you are older.

The minute an older women speaks up, she's dismissed as a "Karen" or a washed-up, jealous old crone. Sure, we're all jealous of the males dressing up in a wig and a dress

 

[maytoseptember]

JKR doesn’t tweet that often so must have to bite her tongue SO much. The past few days have been a torrent of pent up indignance. Queen.

 

[maytoseptember]

Added more.

Quoting someone else’s argument isn’t good enough? How about you argue better than shouting “transphobia”?

I don’t care if you think I’m transphobic. No one here does. I care about kids mutilating and sterilising themselves and being celebrated for it.

 

[rainbowlemon]

This this says a lot coming from a former athlete:

 

[nothanksbabes]

It is impossible to be "born in the wrong body". You literally *are* your body.

I really dislike my body, quite intensely, as do many women given the entire industry built around our self-loathing, but why should my outside match how I feel inside, and why would anyone else be expected to participate in my self-image? If I threaten to kill myself, should I be given a new set of tits to "affirm" me?

I don't doubt some trans people have debilitating dysphoria and feel like they are "in the wrong body". I also don't doubt some schizophrenics genuinely believe God is talking to them, but just because a belief is sincerely held doesn't make it correct.

 

[weeweegie]

Mortified, I posted this in the wrong thread Bloody Mother Pukka

Happy women’s history month friends! Yes, I didn’t know we got a whole month either, thought it was just 1 day. I’ve literally seen one account talking about it. After being bombarded and positively hit over the head with LGBT (ie just trans) history month, I’m ready to feel the love for WOMEN.

And yes, you can bet your bottom dollar that trans women will take centre stage, telling us not to talk about pesky womanly things like periods and menopause, because it makes them feel bad

 

[judgejohndeed]

I think for a lot of these people what's 'wrong' with being white and middle class is that, rightly, there is now a much greater awareness of the privilege you obtain from the combination of those two particular characteristics, and that means oftentimes those voices now don't carry as much weight in conversations on things like gender and class. Don't forget that a lot of these liberal 'progressive' types are people who have never wanted for anything or been told no - these days, we are much better at identifying that these kinds of people might be out of touch if they've always lived such a life, and we want to hear from other people with more relevant life experiences instead. Most of us think that's a good thing, but for those who don't get to dominate these conversations anymore, obviously it isn't. So, simply call yourself something where you have to do absolutely nothing to evidence it - non-binary, to an extent bisexual* as well now - ta dah! Now you're ~ different, now you're ~ queer and a ~ marginalised group and suddenly your voice has weight again. Tbh I think it is extremely transparent and I'm surprised so many people are taken in by it. I would love to see a demographic breakdown of those who say they're trans without seeking to medically transition, non-binary, etc etc. I think it would be veryyyyy telling.

*NB not saying here that bisexuals don't exist, or that all bisexuals do this - rather it is clearly disadvantageous for genuine bisexuals that there are people who will use that sexuality to become different - all I mean is that nobody will say for example 'you're not bisexual because you haven't had a relationship with both a man and a woman' so, if you were so inclined, you could 'come out' as bisexual and be taken at face value in order to become 'special and different'. People like Jameela Jamil who are married/in long term relationships with men, but bangs on about being 'queer' and forces herself to the front of conversations off the back of that. Obviously, this damages how people perceive actual bisexuals, but these types don't care about that.

 

[appleskin]

Here's hoping this goes somewhere

 

[Django]

Sorry, not laughing at the post, just the idiocy of the comment. How can you suffer from a condition if you don't have the organ it affects?
This is akin to me saying my balls ache

 

[panda_eyes]

Here’s what we have to look forward to as mixed sex toilets get more widespread in the U.K. The replies all tell similar stories - men pissing with the doors open and abusing women who tell them to shut the door.

Same old argument: don’t look

Why do men behave like this? Is it because they’re conditioned to “not looking” when standing at urinals? So they see no difference when it comes to peeing with cubicle doors open?

Talking to a friend about a night out we're having soon in our little gang, she's experienced this as well - any bar we go to we're going to check out the toilets first, if there aren't any for women then we're off, they're not getting out money if they won't provide a safe toilet for us. Could only find one place in Newcastle that online says it has unisex only.... it's Digital (which honestly isn't somewhere we'd go anyway) and I found this tweet too...