We survived the kids party
. And I didnât feel like a spare part!!
. And I didnât feel like a spare part!!
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Itâs a neighbours birthday today, I wished her happy birthday on Facebook. Later saw her as i was hanging my washing, said hope youâve had a nice day n have you got any plans said no. Later on i was in the kitchen n she walked past ( open gardens n I face her block of flats) she knocked for another neighbour⊠they both saw me in the kitchen waved. I had to
Put the bins out so went out the frontâŠ. Sae them and another neighbour n village friends go round the corner to the clubhouse! Just feels like a kick in the teeth!itâs my birthday rhis week n I was gonna invite them to my birthday drinks in the village pub with my village friendsâŠ.well Iâm not now! They have all gone out before n not asked me yet in lockdown we had such good street partyâs on my front garden!
Put the bins out so went out the frontâŠ. Sae them and another neighbour n village friends go round the corner to the clubhouse! Just feels like a kick in the teeth!itâs my birthday rhis week n I was gonna invite them to my birthday drinks in the village pub with my village friendsâŠ.well Iâm not now! They have all gone out before n not asked me yet in lockdown we had such good street partyâs on my front garden!
I think we should rename this thread âexamples of people being shitheadsâ 
My friend did message me back and everything is all good for now 
letâs hope it stays that way for a while 
letâs hope it stays that way for a while the whole 'no friends' thing is accentuated tenfold in the summer.. seems to be weekend after weekend of watching others enjoy themselves on instagram/facebook/whatever else, which especially these days with WFH (and in my case being self employed) reminds you how isolated you feel from the rest of society! such is life i suppose
I think we should rename this thread âexamples of people being shitheadsâ
On that note.
As part of my continued mission to âmake more effortâ, I went out a couple of weeks back, and then tried to arrange the next get together.
I suggested a venue and we threw a few possible dates out there.
The following morning a couple of our group members messaged that they couldnât actually make any of the suggested dates - we could still have gone ahead with 4 or 5 of us there, but all went silent and the idea was quietly dropped - Iâm not gonna beg people to come out with me so that was that
Fast forward a week, and a few of them have met up for coffee (I couldnât go, that was no problem), and have suggested a night out - different venue, completely different date.
I canât make it. Someone else canât make it. Same number of people who couldnât go on the original date, just different people.
So this one is going ahead!
I bumped into one of them yesterday and I let them know that Iâm not getting involved any more in the nights out - when theyâd stopped telling me all about they, themselves and them
. Iâll meet a couple of them now and again for coffee or lunch, but Iâm done with being a spare part, and Iâm not wasting effort on people who are bloody rude!
Hey guys, new to the thread hope itâs okay to postâŠ
Just found out today that I havenât been invited to one of my closest friends hen party. I donât have many friends, maybe three at the most. Sheâs been my friend for over twenty years, there for each other through thick and thin, and given some wishy washy excuse of âoh I thought you wouldnât be able to come because of your sonâ who would be fine with my husband for a few days! Wouldâve been nice to be asked ehâŠ
I really donât want to attend the wedding now, but worry it will make me look like a witch if I donât go. Iâm so disappointed in her, and honestly donât think I can forgive her for this
Just found out today that I havenât been invited to one of my closest friends hen party. I donât have many friends, maybe three at the most. Sheâs been my friend for over twenty years, there for each other through thick and thin, and given some wishy washy excuse of âoh I thought you wouldnât be able to come because of your sonâ who would be fine with my husband for a few days! Wouldâve been nice to be asked ehâŠ
I really donât want to attend the wedding now, but worry it will make me look like a witch if I donât go. Iâm so disappointed in her, and honestly donât think I can forgive her for this
First I would talk honestly with her and explain how no invitation made you feel. Close friends for such a long time, I would give her the benefit of the doubt First and have a conversationHey guys, new to the thread hope itâs okay to postâŠ
Just found out today that I havenât been invited to one of my closest friends hen party. I donât have many friends, maybe three at the most. Sheâs been my friend for over twenty years, there for each other through thick and thin, and given some wishy washy excuse of âoh I thought you wouldnât be able to come because of your sonâ who would be fine with my husband for a few days! Wouldâve been nice to be asked ehâŠ
I really donât want to attend the wedding now, but worry it will make me look like a witch if I donât go. Iâm so disappointed in her, and honestly donât think I can forgive her for this
Wow that is so rude! How can people just automatically assume you wonât be able to go so no point of inviting. Itâs the invitation and thought that counts even if you canât go. Iâm sure because itâs your close friend that you would organise something to be at her hens do anyway and like you said, your husband is more than capable of looking after his son for a few hours. I would definitely be mentioning your feelings. If she doesnât like it, then go to the wedding and then cut her off.Hey guys, new to the thread hope itâs okay to postâŠ
Just found out today that I havenât been invited to one of my closest friends hen party. I donât have many friends, maybe three at the most. Sheâs been my friend for over twenty years, there for each other through thick and thin, and given some wishy washy excuse of âoh I thought you wouldnât be able to come because of your sonâ who would be fine with my husband for a few days! Wouldâve been nice to be asked ehâŠ
I really donât want to attend the wedding now, but worry it will make me look like a witch if I donât go. Iâm so disappointed in her, and honestly donât think I can forgive her for this
It almost feels like one of those conversations you shouldnât have to have though..
Exactly! I would have organised something of course, itâs just the total lack of thought and consideration is hurtful. I would never have left her out of my hen party plans.
Ive only been invited to the evening party anyway, so maybe our âfriendshipâ isnât what I thought it was and itâs time to cut it off anyway
You shouldnât have to have the conversation but I think itâs important that she understands how itâs made you feel. We are so bad at confrontation in our culture but if you feel like itâs the end of the road for the friendship you really have nothing to lose by telling her how being excluded has made you feel.
Iâm sure itâs going to get to the point where eventually something will be said, we are bad at confrontation youâre so right, ten years ago I probably wouldâve said something straight away, as Iâve got older now I tend to either let it go or cut them off and move on.
This is inexcusable imo.Hey guys, new to the thread hope itâs okay to postâŠ
Just found out today that I havenât been invited to one of my closest friends hen party. I donât have many friends, maybe three at the most. Sheâs been my friend for over twenty years, there for each other through thick and thin, and given some wishy washy excuse of âoh I thought you wouldnât be able to come because of your sonâ who would be fine with my husband for a few days! Wouldâve been nice to be asked ehâŠ
I really donât want to attend the wedding now, but worry it will make me look like a witch if I donât go. Iâm so disappointed in her, and honestly donât think I can forgive her for this
She assumed you wouldnât go?! Then she should have let you know you were wanted there but that sheâd understand if you couldnât make it.
If Iâm honest, I donât think you owe her a conversation.
To do something like that you have to be too thick skinned to understand the feelings of others.
Sorry youâve been hurt like this.
The way I feel right now, i wonât speak to her again. I think if it was discussed she would instantly defend her choices and then it would be a âwell come if you want tooâ kind of situation. Which would be even worse.
I was treated as an after thought for many years in a previous relationship, and wouldnât expect it from a friend.
She is incredibly thick skinned and is always right even when sheâs wrong kind of person, so she would justify her own actions.
Thank you, itâs another lesson learned in life I guess x
Well I spun out into a panic attack after turning up at my friends to a packed house. đ« have had one of those weekends where itâs all been quite stressful and so I really wanted to stay home, I thought I was going round to see just them but they had a housefulâŠ. Way way way too much for me today. I had to leave, is there anything more embarrassing?
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Should probably add my friend has just messaged asking if Iâm okay and that the other guests were only meant to pop by not still be there when we were
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I think my friendship is over with one of my friends. Weâve been drifting for a while. I feel like we donât have anything in common anymore and she never makes the effort with me much these days
Itâs always be going to her town ( she lives the next town over from me itâs 10 miles to her house from mine) she never says weâll do something near your house
She never texts unless I do
When we talk she never pays attention to what I say I just think what is the point of this
And you know I am sadly ok if we have drifted apart. Itâs life. Iâd rather have no friends than fake ones
Itâs always be going to her town ( she lives the next town over from me itâs 10 miles to her house from mine) she never says weâll do something near your house
She never texts unless I do
When we talk she never pays attention to what I say I just think what is the point of this
And you know I am sadly ok if we have drifted apart. Itâs life. Iâd rather have no friends than fake ones
This thread has helped a lot and made me realise I am not alone. I have 1 great friend she lives abroad. I have 2 other friends I meet up occasionally.
Over the years my friendships have dwindled as I realise people never ask you questions or seem genuinely interested in your lives or let you down. I always seem to put the work in.
I find it hard now in my 30s trying to make friends. I have a 16 month year old and a baby on the way. I tried peanut but I find conversations donât go anywhere. Also many are going to be new mothers so Iâm guessing they are looking for women in similar position. Majority of people donât seem to ask questions and only talk about themselves or some women are very competitive. In my area if you go to playgroups and repeatedly see the same people nobody says hello.
I have met people off peanut but I realise they are not a match for me.
I feel very down today could be hormonal. I just feel so alone. I want friends or women to connect with but I am not the type of person to hang out with anyone just because I am lonely. Sometimes I do ask myself if something is wrong with me.
Iâm at a loss what to do.
I just needed to vent this.
Over the years my friendships have dwindled as I realise people never ask you questions or seem genuinely interested in your lives or let you down. I always seem to put the work in.
I find it hard now in my 30s trying to make friends. I have a 16 month year old and a baby on the way. I tried peanut but I find conversations donât go anywhere. Also many are going to be new mothers so Iâm guessing they are looking for women in similar position. Majority of people donât seem to ask questions and only talk about themselves or some women are very competitive. In my area if you go to playgroups and repeatedly see the same people nobody says hello.
I have met people off peanut but I realise they are not a match for me.
I feel very down today could be hormonal. I just feel so alone. I want friends or women to connect with but I am not the type of person to hang out with anyone just because I am lonely. Sometimes I do ask myself if something is wrong with me.
Iâm at a loss what to do.
I just needed to vent this.
Iâm sorry you are feeling like this. You are definitely not alone
Hey guys hope youâre all doing well! Iâve stumbled across this thread as to put it bluntly Iâm lonely as duck.
Iâm a carer for my mum and I feel that since this has happened my friends have slowly disappeared. Some donât get the worry and anxiety that comes with having a sick parent, others just got on with life which I totally get. In some ways I guess I have pushed some people away, but Iâve been suffering with my mental health badly the last few years. I have an amazing boyfriend but just feel like I depend on him to go out and stuff.
I turn 30 this year, the idea of the a party is out of the window purely because I donât have a strong friendship group anymore. Itâs so hard but find it difficult to open up to people about whatâs going on. I just feel so lonely and sad seeing others having fun with friends. I think of when I get married will I have a maid of honour or bridesmaids? God parents for my children. Itâs just a horrible feeling.
Thank you for reading
Iâm a carer for my mum and I feel that since this has happened my friends have slowly disappeared. Some donât get the worry and anxiety that comes with having a sick parent, others just got on with life which I totally get. In some ways I guess I have pushed some people away, but Iâve been suffering with my mental health badly the last few years. I have an amazing boyfriend but just feel like I depend on him to go out and stuff.
I turn 30 this year, the idea of the a party is out of the window purely because I donât have a strong friendship group anymore. Itâs so hard but find it difficult to open up to people about whatâs going on. I just feel so lonely and sad seeing others having fun with friends. I think of when I get married will I have a maid of honour or bridesmaids? God parents for my children. Itâs just a horrible feeling.
Thank you for reading
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