Wish I could help but I am no expert when it comes to making friends. But I'm sorry to hear you're feeling lonely. It's shit isn't it when you feel like you have no one?
What about at work, is there any chance of making friends there?
Wish I could help but I am no expert when it comes to making friends. But I'm sorry to hear you're feeling lonely. It's shit isn't it when you feel like you have no one?Hi, just looking for some advice. Recently split with my partner of 4.5years, we have a 2 year old together. Since splitting I feel terribly alone, I put my all into the relationship that I didn't realise how much I lived for him, sad I know. I have lost the few friends I did have. I am shy, have anxiety and lack confidence so find it hard to make new friends,
Being a single parent and working full time, I have no childcare when I'm not working (plus I want to spend my free time with my little one). I was just wondering how to meet new friends, I have downloaded the peanut app, but not really getting anywhere. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you for your reply. I work in a small team, I talk to some of the girls there but it never goes outside of work if that makes sense, staff nights out, etc when we've not been in lockdown, I could never get anyone to watch my little one so had to decline. I can talk to my mum, but it's just not the same as having real friends to talk to.Wish I could help but I am no expert when it comes to making friends. But I'm sorry to hear you're feeling lonely. It's shit isn't it when you feel like you have no one?
What about at work, is there any chance of making friends there?
Hi. I'm shy too so I know how hard making new friends is. If its an option for you, maybe you could attend some play groups, go to play grounds etc with your child. This could lead to meeting new people/friends, also it will be great for your child too.Hi, just looking for some advice. Recently split with my partner of 4.5years, we have a 2 year old together. Since splitting I feel terribly alone, I put my all into the relationship that I didn't realise how much I lived for him, sad I know. I have lost the few friends I did have. I am shy, have anxiety and lack confidence so find it hard to make new friends,
Being a single parent and working full time, I have no childcare when I'm not working (plus I want to spend my free time with my little one). I was just wondering how to meet new friends, I have downloaded the peanut app, but not really getting anywhere. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
It's definitely not the same. And it is hard when you have young children just to be able to go for a night out. I haven't tried it but maybe have a Google for other apps for making friends. There must be some that you will have some more success with. Also, as restrictions begin to ease further, maybe try enrol in some mother and toddler groups where you might find some other women in your same situation. Do you have a park local to you that maybe taking your child there often means you might run into the same people enough where you would feel comfortable to strike up a conversation?Thank you for your reply. I work in a small team, I talk to some of the girls there but it never goes outside of work if that makes sense, staff nights out, etc when we've not been in lockdown, I could never get anyone to watch my little one so had to decline. I can talk to my mum, but it's just not the same as having real friends to talk to.
Bumble BFF! Also I think there’s an app for new mums to chat and meet up etc - I think it’s called peanut. Also city socialiser and meet up are for people looking for others to go to various events with them, I never used those apps personally but I have a few friends that have used them! You have to treat making new friends like dating, it’s weird at first but I think a lot of people are in the same boat after this yearHas anybody got any proven ways to meet new people?!
I was relying on my maternity leave to meet new people but covid spoilt that. I feel so incredibly lonely and have been treat like shit recently by so called friends who I no longer have any contact with. I go to a baby group once a week and we chat about babies but that’s where the conversation stops. I really want new friends who we can meet up with or go for a drink with and I feel so lost. It’s easier to date than it is make friends!
Same! The thought of “mum life” does NOT appeal to me! A lot of my friends are starting to settle down, but luckily a few are still up for doing stuff. I actively try and make friends on the same page as me in life, and I’m sure I wouldn’t be a lot of people’s cup of tea either!In my late 20’s. I have lots of friends but they all have babies/toddlers and are in relationships. I’m single, no kids and it can feel incredibly lonely. I’m
not ready to settle down yet. I love being single and love nights out but starting to think I’m immature and need to grow up. But the thought of being tied down and having kids terrifies me.
You dont have to go down that path in life if you don't want to, its your life do what you want. Once you get older though it can get harder still because everyone is in couples with kids, then its divorces, remarrying/ new partners and then Grandkids etc. Some people can get very focussed just on family/kids and its very difficult listening for hours on end to all this as a single friend. Its best to keep trying to find people who you have some things in common with I think.In my late 20’s. I have lots of friends but they all have babies/toddlers and are in relationships. I’m single, no kids and it can feel incredibly lonely. I’m
not ready to settle down yet. I love being single and love nights out but starting to think I’m immature and need to grow up. But the thought of being tied down and having kids terrifies me.
You sound like me. Be my friend?Same! The thought of “mum life” does NOT appeal to me! A lot of my friends are starting to settle down, but luckily a few are still up for doing stuff. I actively try and make friends on the same page as me in life, and I’m sure I wouldn’t be a lot of people’s cup of tea either!
Ofcourse!!You sound like me. Be my friend?
Just thought I’d follow up on my situation. I’ve actually decided to accept the Birmingham offer as there’s a lot more to do in Birmingham than Derby as a student. Plus I’m going to be doing a degree in primary teaching and I’ll find it easier to travel to schools for placement since I’ve grown up here. I’ve started on a few open University short courses to keep myself busy and am arranging work experience as well. I have 2 younger sisters one of which is doing her GCSEs next year so my parents have said they’ll probably be more lenient on me going out as they’ll have the other two to worry about. Plus I’ll have the added bonus of my parents being able to come and pick me up if I stay out late. I think seeing most of my peers go off to different universities did make me feel like I’d miss out but when I look at the bigger picture I see that I was probably just being a bit irrational. I’m hoping to start driving lessons soon (maybe my parents might be more willing to help pay for a car now they won’t have to help with accommodation costs) so that should help me have more freedom, plus I can easily get the train down as well. Thank you all for your advice- I know I’ve pretty much done everything you’ve told me not to -but it did encourage me to start properly talking to my best friend from school so at least now I’ll always have her to talk to.I’m currently in a gap year because I wasn’t sure in what to do after A Levels but pretty much have no friends. I’ve never been very social but did have friends throughout school, however my lack of social media has meant I’ve barely heard from any of them since we finished school last March (because of covid). I do have one friend I text from time to time but
she’s at university and I get the feeling she’s probably moved on from me. I am going to university this year and really want to go to the university of derby because I live in north Birmingham so it’s just far enough that I’ll have to live on campus, but close enough I can come home easily, however my dad wants me to go to Birmingham city (I have unconditional offers for both) so I can stay at home. He thinks I’ll expect him to pay accommodation since he’s willing to cover my tuition, but I’m happy to take out a student loan because I really want some freedom. I know I’ll still be able to get invold in university life if I stay in Birmingham, but I feel like I’ll be able to make friends more easily and be able to do things like go to parties etc if I’m not worrying about the fact I still live with my parents and any boys I get with will have to come back to my quite small bedroom with a single bed that’s in between my parents and little sister’s rooms. I never went to many parties during school but I do enjoy drinking. Sometimes I like to get drunk in my room, I do this whenever I can by mixing the alcohol my parents have when I’m home alone (it’s harder now my dad’s working from home).
I’m excited to go to university, meet new people, start my degree (I’m doing primary teaching and am really excited to go on placement etc) and have more freedom. I’m just really lonely right now and don’t think it’s going to be any different if I end up going to Birmingham City University. It’ll feel like I’m still in school because, although I’m in a different setting, educationally, I’ll still be going to university and coming home again. My dad is quite strict with going out and even though I’m an adult, I recon I’ll still be limited to how much I can meet with friends etc. Sorry if my post makes no sense, but I haven’t actually told my parents about the Birmingham offer yet and am not sure what to do.
Nice to hear an update from you! I completely support your decision and it sounds like you’ve got a good future aheadJust thought I’d follow up on my situation. I’ve actually decided to accept the Birmingham offer as there’s a lot more to do in Birmingham than Derby as a student. Plus I’m going to be doing a degree in primary teaching and I’ll find it easier to travel to schools for placement since I’ve grown up here. I’ve started on a few open University short courses to keep myself busy and am arranging work experience as well. I have 2 younger sisters one of which is doing her GCSEs next year so my parents have said they’ll probably be more lenient on me going out as they’ll have the other two to worry about. Plus I’ll have the added bonus of my parents being able to come and pick me up if I stay out late. I think seeing most of my peers go off to different universities did make me feel like I’d miss out but when I look at the bigger picture I see that I was probably just being a bit irrational. I’m hoping to start driving lessons soon (maybe my parents might be more willing to help pay for a car now they won’t have to help with accommodation costs) so that should help me have more freedom, plus I can easily get the train down as well. Thank you all for your advice- I know I’ve pretty much done everything you’ve told me not to -but it did encourage me to start properly talking to my best friend from school so at least now I’ll always have her to talk to.
Setting up the book club online is still a brave thing to do if you're feeling anxious! A lot of people wouldn't have had the initiative to do so. Don't pressure yourself to meet in person if you really don't want to but it could be a great way to make friends. Maybe ask another member of the group to co-host the first one as it might take the pressure off a bit? Not sure where you live so how it would work with covid rules but a local one I used to go to split everyone into groups of 6 at the event which would be less pressure than a huge group sat chatting.Hello, long time lurker - first time posting!
I discovered this thread over the weekend and as someone with very few friends, it really spoke to me.
I used to be very outgoing in my early 20s and wouldn't think twice about going out to a party by myself to meet friends. But after struggling with severe anxiety for a few years, I don't even recognise myself today.
My lack of friends really dawned on me over the past year when I received no invites to Zoom socials (I set up a few for some friends but probably wouldn't have been asked in return) and now with pubs/bars reopening I haven't been invited out at all. I guess I'm an introvert who enjoys my own company, but I don't know, it really gets to me when I start to think about it.
Despite being in a long-term relationship, I feel very lonely and isolated which increases my anxiety so my feelings go full circle.
To try and combat this, over lockdown I set up a local online book club in my area but feel so conscious about meeting up in person as I just don't feel confident enough to do it. I really want to try and work up my confidence but after putting on a lot of weight I just can't bring myself round to do it. It feels so much more difficult making friends as an adult without kids - I have literally no idea where to even start.
Thank you to OP for posting - I thought I was pretty alone in this so while it's not great to see others struggling with it, it's nice to know we can chat about this together
Your post has really resonated with me. Your partner sounds exactly like me, and you sound exactly like my partner. From my point of view, it's really reassuring to hear somebody who is partnered with someone like myself be accepting of it. Sounds like you understand your partner perfectlyMy partner doesn’t really have friends. When we first got together I worried about him as I have friends and thought that not having friends wasn’t good for him. I came to realise though that he just doesn’t need the companionship in the same way that I do. He is perfectly happy and just does his thing. He is actually quite a sociable person with work colleagues and has some acquaintances but just doesn’t feel a need to develop relationships further. On the other hand, I’m much more introverted than him in social situations but I feel like I need close friendships for support.
I think everyone is different but ultimately the most important thing is that you are happy. If you are content with not having friends then good for you and you be you!
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