Long post alert!
She’s really annoyed me, well more than usual, today. She’s a first time mum yes, but they are 18 months old now!! Essentially one of the main points we’ve discussed on here for the past year is how little time she has spent looking after them on her own and having so much time away from them. I have no doubt she is finding it hard but that’s because of how she’s parented until now.
I’m on day 15 of self isolation as I’m on the vulnerable/at risk list. I have an 8 month old and I’m a first time mum too. I’ll be honest, it’s not been that much different for me. I’ve never had any support or help with her at all except for when my husband gets home from work and that’s not for long in the evening. I’ve spent most of the winter months inside with her as the weather was so crap and couldn’t afford baby groups etc and was looking forward to getting out a bit more with her in the better weather. I’m gutted this is how I’ll spend the last bit of my maternity but it has to be done. My point is that while self isolation is difficult and worrying, that’s not been because I suddenly have to spend time entertaining my child.
What is also shit is that my maternity pay has now ended and I was due to go back to work where? A supermarket. During all this & when I’m on the at risk list? No chance. So I’ll have no income until at least July when my maternity leave ends and I HAVE to go back. I’m praying this will all have calmed down by then. Meanwhile my husband still has to work as a key worker and won’t get paid if he has to self isolate so we are terrified of any of us getting it. I’ve cried every day and I’m terrified if I get it I won’t survive. I’ve even spoken to my husband about what I’d like for our little girl as she grows up if I don’t make it. I’m only 30 and I’m petrified of not seeing her grow up.
I know I have it better than some and that some have better than me. So yes she can feel however she wants and no one can tell her she should feel otherwise. The difference is Nicola, you’re ‘vlogging’ it and posting it online for all your sheep to rub your ego and make you feel better, all while you add affiliate links and ads to line your pockets without any thought of the consequences (like encouraging non essential spending etc). You’ve swanned about spending money like mad, getting extensions (both house & hair), designer clothes, Costa, baby groups, Florida, little island off Portugal and so on for months now. Maybe you should have kept more of your savings, which you were more fortunate than most to have, for an actual rainy day like this. Especially considering you’re both self employed. But you’ll never listen and you’ll never learn. Even a pandemic seemingly can’t make you see how wrong you can be.