First Love

[BlobbyBlobbyBlobby]

Wow all of that by 25? Is your fiance a lot older than you?

Only two years older. We started doing all this when I was 18 and he was 20.

 

[Youre a wizard Harry]

I was 15, we met at school and were together for 4 years.
I was absolutely heartbroken when he ended it. We were part of the same friendship group so I couldn’t cut him out. Rather than ignore him, it was easier to stay friends. Although he didn’t hang out with us as much for the first few months as he got into a new relationship almost immediately. It helped I went to uni not long after we broke up so I only had to see him on group nights out every few months when I was at home.
It was hard because he ended it suddenly and said we would have a big chat about it a few weeks after it ended but that chat never happened so there were a lot of unanswered questions.
It took over a year, but I made my peace with it and my feelings changed from love to friendship. We are still friends 8 years later and you’d never know we used to be a couple

 

[CarrieW24]

I met this guy at uni when I was 17.. we spent a lot of time together and I didn't realise it at the time but i really fell in love with him. We were romantic with each other but never made anything official, we were too busy living exciting uni life and going to parties and it really didnt bother me at the time. Over the next 4 years we were friends but we drifted away gradually.. and by the time uni was finished we really didnt talk at all.

It's now 10 years later, I don't know when it dawned on me. But eventually I realised how much I really loved him and kicked myself so hard that we never gave it a proper go. I think I met the right guy, but at the wrong time. I think of him often and have done for years, wondering what he's doing with his life.

I've spoken to him only twice since leaving uni. Most recently was only last week when we had a short friendly catch up over Instagram (he added me out of the blue). He has just got divorced. I'm engaged with a 2 year old but my personal life is complicated and I know I'm not with the right man. I've known for a while now but I'm staying for a lot of reasons primarily for the sake of my daughter.

I cant get him out of my head now, I have a strong belief everything happens for a reason so I'm just trying to be positive and accept things will happen the way they are meant to. Maybe later in life we will meet again. But for now he will always be the one that got away...

Do you think I'm just being silly and pining over a teenage crush?

Your last statement: no you're not being silly you're at a crossroad. You know you're not in an ideal situation now, which leaves the vacancy to consider your life with someone else that's closer to that ideal. That's not silly at all.

I'm going to share some contradictiry thoughts for the sake of introspection.

Every relationship faces adversity, there will be problems down the road with Uni Guy too. We tend to remember people to their credit, but they rarely ever live to that standard in person. As much as you didn't fight for him back then, he didn't fight for you. Why would it be different now?

On the otherhand, as far as I'm concerned this is my only life. I live it like it is, and that's definitely not passively. If you wait for life to happen, it's most likely never going to happen. If you want something/someone you have to take healthy action towards it.

I wish you could check in 60 years from now and let us know how it worked out. xx

 

[CarrieW24]

I had boyfriends in stuff in school and my late teens that never got far due to immaturity.

when I was 19 I met this 23 year old who at the time was “perfect” - we last 2 and a half years but we broke up once during that because of his controlling ways.
I met all of his family but he kept his friends and his social life separate and used the excuse that I was too young to share the same interests as him? And like a mug I accepted it and happily became his distraction when he had no other plans.

When we would have a disagreement over something he would instantly start calling me for all sorts over WhatsApp then before I could respond he would block my number until I was allowed to speak - then a couple of days afterwards he would buy me gifts (these ranged from a Yankee candle to perfume to a watch)

I was permanently miserable at work or with friends and everyone tried to make me see how toxic he was but I just wouldn’t listen.

we went on holiday about a year after us being together and he didn’t speak to me the whole time. It was my first time abroad and was so excited and wanted us to get out there. One morning at breakfast I asked him if he was okay as he seemed quiet and he responded “because I don’t have anything to say to you” in a cold manner. I stood up and went and sat on the steps of the resort on my own for ages - I would always go back.

he would call me fat - I was a size 8.

we would never go out and I can count on one hand how many times we had a date night or went the cinema etc. The time we’d spend together was always at my flat or at his house for dinner with the family. Although WE never went out he was out every weekend with his friends or at festivals etc and I would just lead my own life with my friends, I began to get paranoid because he would go to festivals and start following girls on social media the day after who had also went there and he broke up with me on WhatsApp because I asked who someone was and then blocked me again. I barely ate for about 6 weeks it was hardcore heartbreak diet I thought my world was crashing down - until he agreed to meet up with me and take me back - but he was going to leave me blocked on social media because my jealousy was an ugly trait.

before I “won him back” I felt so guilty at being so paranoid.

I think we lasted about 6 more months until one day I suggested actually going out somewhere for something to eat. The whole time he picked at me and tried so hard to start an argument but I was just so confused at his behaviour. Anyway we ended up back at the flat and kept saying he didn’t want it anymore but then would ask me my opinon (in other words he wanted me to beg) in the end he opened the door and stood in the hall waiting for me to come and beg in the end I said “let me make this easier for you” and slammed the door in his face. I cried slightly but there was no heartbreak sobs or another diet I decided to get out there and have a good time.

I then found out the following week that we was cracking on with a girl 12 years older than him. So I’m 99% sure he already had her on the go before we split and probably more in the past.

while he was single he would try and reconnect with old exes and go away with them on weekends away “as friends”

anyway he stayed with that girl for around 2 years but they were on and off aswell. Every time they were off he would slide into my DMs and try and bring up old stuff (noticing a pattern along with the other exes - I figured he liked to play women like puppets and pick them up and drop them again) and when they were back on he would block me again.

They eventually called it quits early 2018 just before I got with my now boyfriend and he kept repeatedly sliding in, trying to call, sending me dick pics - ignored all of it and then finally told him I was seeing someone to which he replies “feel sorry for him” and blocked me

he tried to follow me again last year and I sent a emoji and blocked him!

Crazy those rose tinted glasses arent they

He’s now 31 living in a pokey flat sitting on his parents hand me down couch.

He sounds as toxic af!

 

[cushtybert]

I was 14, we were together till we were around 17. He lives in another country now so no chance of bumping into him. Not sure I would want to speak to him. I don’t think you ever get over your first love, if only I could go back in time

 

[Mulholland Drive]

I was 13 and she was 14. I had no idea I had lesbian inclinations back then. But OMG she was so clever, and funny and pretty that I was totally besotted by her. So much so that we "dated" for about 4 or 5 months, and despite her age she taught me a great deal!

However, I think she got bored of me and moved on to someone else. I was crushed, but I still remember with great fondness those innocent days.

 

[Muchbee]

Met on holiday at 14. We were from different parts of the country, after the holiday kept in touch for a couple of years until that fizzled out. Grew up had kids and my relationship with kids dad ended. About a year later by pure chance got in touch on social media with my holiday love. Met up about 12 years after first meeting and fell in absolute love again only for him to have turned into a total psycho. Sometimes these things are best left as a happy memory lol never again!

 

[whisperchat]

My first love was when I was 20.. Met on a night out, I had just broken up with a boyfriend I was with for 2 years and as soon as I met this new guy he opened my eyes and made me realise that I wasn't in love with the person I just broke up with at all. I felt completely different and I fell so hard for this guy, it wasn't serious though.. We were never in a relationship it was just a casual thing but he would pick and chose when he would speak to me and when he wanted to see me, but because I was so head over heals in to love with him I would do it... I would let him treat me like rubbish lol. I was young.. he was about 6 years older than me.. anyway, he broke my heart.. ripped it out of my chest and stamped on it His birthday was on 1st January so I was drunk on new years morning and tried to call him.. His ex answered the phone and completely mugged me off.. laughed at me and told me he doesn't care about me and never has and then hung up. I left it, was devastated but left it and then a few days in to the new year in 2014 he texted me and broke it off.

Luckily enough now I am with someone who treats me like a princess and would do anything for me.. So I am lucky. We've been together 4 years now and there's been no doubts in our relationship at all. I feel secure and that's all I've ever wanted

 

[scratchcard]

I was with my first love for two years, when we were both 16-18 and in high school. He’s awaiting sentencing for armed robbery at the moment.

We wanted different things at that age, and it’s fair to say our lives have gone in opposite directions. I got a place at uni and wanted experiences that our hometown couldn’t offer back then. He wanted to stay, and wanted me to stay too. So life changed, I left and we grew up. It obviously wasn’t going to work out, I suppose high school relationships don’t often do. But I’d always thought of him fondly, he was kind and sweet and we had fun together, being the daft teenagers we were. It was what a first relationship should have been like, especially at that age. For all our immaturity we really did love each other. He became part of our group of friends and a lot of my happiest memories of being a teenager involve him in some way.

I live at the other end of the country now and I’m engaged to my long-term partner. I have never loved anyone as much as I love my fiancé, I know we’re meant to be together and I can’t wait to marry him. I’d also love to know the lad I fell in love with all those years ago is happy and doing well for himself, but that isn’t the case and it breaks my heart a little. Ever since I saw the news that he’d been arrested I’ve been trying to imagine him now and picture him committing a violent crime like that and I can’t, because in my mind he’s still a funny, caring 17-year-old who wouldn’t hurt a fly, made mix CDs for me and walked home with me after school. I’m not condoning what he did, but he wasn’t that person when I knew him, regardless of who he is now... and I feel so, so sad that his life has turned out like this.

Kudos if anyone actually read all that... I’m trying not to give the situation too much headspace, and writing it down helps.

 

[LaurieLaurie]

Even though I was with my first love for over 10 years I have felt better and a stronger love towards other men since that made me question if I even loved him at all.

 

[Rockin' Robin]

I met this guy at uni when I was 17.. we spent a lot of time together and I didn't realise it at the time but i really fell in love with him. We were romantic with each other but never made anything official, we were too busy living exciting uni life and going to parties and it really didnt bother me at the time. Over the next 4 years we were friends but we drifted away gradually.. and by the time uni was finished we really didnt talk at all.

It's now 10 years later, I don't know when it dawned on me. But eventually I realised how much I really loved him and kicked myself so hard that we never gave it a proper go. I think I met the right guy, but at the wrong time. I think of him often and have done for years, wondering what he's doing with his life.

I've spoken to him only twice since leaving uni. Most recently was only last week when we had a short friendly catch up over Instagram (he added me out of the blue). He has just got divorced. I'm engaged with a 2 year old but my personal life is complicated and I know I'm not with the right man. I've known for a while now but I'm staying for a lot of reasons primarily for the sake of my daughter.

I cant get him out of my head now, I have a strong belief everything happens for a reason so I'm just trying to be positive and accept things will happen the way they are meant to. Maybe later in life we will meet again. But for now he will always be the one that got away...

Do you think I'm just being silly and pining over a teenage crush?

My younger self, would tell you to let nature take it's course, and see what happens. But my older, self would tell you to be cautious, and really think things through.

 

[openbook1]

When I had my first boyfriend I was 16. We met through a friend. I was in Scotland and he was in England so we did long distance (a recipe for disaster at that age). Looking back, was I in love? No. Anyway, he was the opposite of me and it was exciting...he went to private school, did well in sports, from a wealthier background. We broke up for a bit when I was 17, then I moved away for uni and we got back together. He showed up on my doorstep asking me to get back with him, lol. That happened a second time and he asked me again and I said no. I adored his family. His mum was wonderful and she doted on me...even up until a couple of years ago she would keep in touch with me, I think for her I was the one that got away . I had a look on his SM recently and it seems he is currently with someone but he never seems to stay in a relationship long. As I got older, I actually wondered if he was gay. I wouldn't be with him now (am very happy with my husband) but I could see us being friends if we met at this age.

Now. The first real person I fell HARD for happened when I was in uni and he was 12 yrs older than me and Italian. He really courted me and made me feel special. A charmer for sure. He worked away so times together were nice but then he distanced himself and we broke up. We were only together for about 5 months but it stung a lot. He was my first real heartbreak. Luckily for me Taylor Swift's album Red came out around that time .

 

[Saddlesoap]

Loving some of these stories.

My first 'love' probably wasn't love at all. I was just overwhelmed that someone like him wanted anything to do with me. I was 20 and he was 7 years older (I think). Looking back the age gap showed how immature I was, and I really tried too hard.

I haven't seen him in over 10 years and I am a totally different person in many ways. If I saw him again, i believe I would turn back into that desperate immature girl, despite the fact I have been happily married for 8 years.

 

[Robo123]

I broke up with my first love a few years ago, I pushed him away unknowingly. I didn’t know that I was developing an eating disorder and ruined a lot of relationships around me.
He has moved on, he’s had a few new girlfriends since me.
On the other hand, I’m still desperately in love with him all these years on. I’ve not been near anybody since. I still cry about him most nights, it sounds crazy but even in my dreams , he’s in them and I wake up in the night crying.
i don’t think it’ll ever get easier, I don’t think I’ll ever move on from him.

I broke up with my first love a few years ago, I pushed him away unknowingly. I didn’t know that I was developing an eating disorder and ruined a lot of relationships around me.
He has moved on, he’s had a few new girlfriends since me.
On the other hand, I’m still desperately in love with him all these years on. I’ve not been near anybody since. I still cry about him most nights, it sounds crazy but even in my dreams , he’s in them and I wake up in the night crying.
i don’t think it’ll ever get easier, I don’t think I’ll ever move on from him.

Add on, he was very emotionally manipulative . It was a toxic relationship but it was my first and only. My family hate him for what he’s done, but I can’t fall out of love with him, no matter how much it hurts me everyday.

 

[CarrieW24]

When and how did you meet your first love? Did it last? Would you still be attracted to them today if they came back into your life?

 

[Prodcon21]

We met in school. Both 14 and it lasted until we were 16. I fell in “love” with an older lad, finished with him and broke his heart.

But - we are 35 now and are friends. He even came to my wedding.

Don’t see him much, but I know I can go to him if I need anything and visa versa.

 

[Lollypad]

School. We were best friends for a long time and eventually got together and were together for 18 months (which when you’re 17/18 is your whole world). He was my first everything.
Timing wasn’t right and I’m still very fond of him and the experience we shared. He wasn’t the love of my life, and that’s ok, but as far as first experiences go I don’t think it could have been better. I hope he has a very happy life.

 

[Zanzi202]

On holiday when I was 16 and he was 19. It didn’t last, he lived abroad and I had an eating disorder and shut him out completely. I ended things and it was a really sad breakup because nobody had done anything wrong we both loved each other very much. He was a really genuine and nice guy.
I’d love to see him again, I hope he is happy.

 

[calmyourritas]

I was 11 when we first met - fell in love at 15 and he chose another girl over me. I should have known then it was doomed but we got together at 18 and I wish we never had lasted 3 years til he cheated on me and if I never see his face again it would be too soon.

 

[lurker12]

Knew my first love from college and we are still in a relationship!