Feathering the empty nest.

[HelloHelloHello123]

She hasn’t changed one bit. I went to upper school with her. Other than her fake posh accent she is still someone that thinks she is above people. She comes from a working class back ground & went to a main stream school. She wasn’t liked much at school & hasn’t keep in contact with anyone. She only had a handful of friends & not actually sure why her friends could tolerate her. It is so terrible all she has be through not one should go through a lost of a child. But that doesn’t give her the right to dismiss people.
It’s all about her & her grief - she needs validation from hundreds of people, it’s actually extremely sad. Just shows she hasn’t evolved & most likely never will. If you put yourself out there publicly to raise awareness for a worthy cause then you have to expect for women that have lost to reach out to her. For heaven sake she was doing paid talks to women, magazines & even tv pushing for people to talk about their lost. It’s absolutely disgraceful the way she has behaved towards some of her audience. She should be ashamed of herself. I hope she sets a better example to her daughter. Don’t even get me started on her book (what a piece of p**!!) She is completely out of her mind with her advice) I know many people that have lost babies & they all said it was terrible. Can you image being a friend to her, those poor women. Needless to say I will not be purchasing her new book. In a years time she will be irrelevant & the next insta hun will arrive. (I’m writing this to you Eleanor as we all know you read this) Enjoy your long awaited daughter, be kind to others & treat them how you clearly expect to be treated. Keep on fundraising (as you have made an impact) but not to benefit yourself. Give up the Instagram it is looking desperate now to sale your book. Remember people keep receipts, it only takes one to post their receipts for your image to be crumbed like the other Instagramers.

 

[Be More Pacific]

What's a risotto stirrer ? Wooden spoon ?

Basically

With a hole in it though so I'm going to call it "O"

 

[Rara]

I have followed her for a while but I was always thinking at the back of my head that she has profited off a baby’s death. It didn’t sit right but I thought I was the only one who saw it like that. Thanks tattle!

Now her posts stink of ‘I got what I wanted’, it gave her something to do while waiting for a baby plus support when SHE needed it but now can’t be bothered anymoreand finds all her followers annoying and an inconvenience.

I feel like she wants to scream ‘leave me alone’ but also buy my book. Unfortunately she created this monster and now she must slay it. Once the book has sold a decent amount (I won’t be buying it) she will do another announcement saying that she is leaving Insta to bring up her daughter in private oh but I’ll leave this page for you poor people who haven’t crossed over to the other side yet

 

[Leita]

This is so well worded and exactly how I feel about her. What I saw in her was the first time I encountered somebody on Insta who was fake.

As I said over on the RVK loves thread, all that glistens isn’t gold. She was v abrasive/rude to me and imo it was v unnecessary. I had been nothing but kind and supportive to her with any comments or dms I had sent her. I can’t help that think because I’m a private account with not a lot of followers, I was of no interest to her or importance. That’s fine I know people irl are like that too, I just detest the way she tries to come across as so saccarine sweet when she definitely has an edge to her

I have been blocked by Elle on my personal account. As I mentioned on the rave thread. I also followed her on my business account (over 50k followers) and personal account (200 followers). I’ve never commented negatively on her posts. But I’ve been blocked! I have no idea why. I’ve also now unfollowed from my business account.

I reviewed and promoted her first book for her, but won’t be bothering with this book. Don’t get me wrong, I am so pleased they have their baby at home with them and hope all goes well for them.

But as someone else has pointed out, she has in the past accepted free stuff for advertising - she also had I believe the washing machine for the new kitchenand has been on trips with Joules (with the other insta huns) to name but a few.

I’ve also been blocked by a few others - Cara Suthers for one and I’ve never followed her!

To block anyone who hasn’t done anything but liked, commented and hoped she would get her baby is beyond me.....

 

[Lynseyp]

Pointless coming on here and saying you have gossip about someones husband then leaving everyone hanging. If you have then say it, if not then shut up.

 

[Rue Git Le Couer]

Did she seriously just hashtag #oopsididitagain??

 

[Poptart]

1%?! So if the book made her...say... £10,000 that's £100 for Tommy's

 

[Nellyboy]

Elle is donating 1% according to this post. Also came across these comments. Sounds as though she'll do the audio book and then go back to mum life. The page and blog will stay. Wonder if this means stay as is, as in she won't be updating them further and they will just exist as a reference point.

Thank you for sharing this . So Eleanor is donating a big fat 1% to Tommy’s. Well it’s great she is donating to them but bearing in mind the promo she gets from them 1% ain’t them much imo . Glad it’s out in the open because as far as I am aware she’s often referenced that percentage of profits goes to Tommy’s but at least we all know now it’s 1%. Hope the people who have kissed her over on the rave thread are aware of this because they sure as hell thinks she ’s ’s and ’s . Bearing in mind the Tommy’s logo is so prominently placed on the book cover, I don’t think 1% is much for her to donate. I know zero about the logistics of publishing but I would have thought she would have been donating at least 10% to them. Oh well at least we all know now your generosity knows no bounds Eleanor #onepercent #coulditbeanyless #cheapskate
#fake #dontaskmehername #ibetsheslivid #outed

 

[Be More Pacific]

I’m sure she’d give it all back and more to have him. This feels a bit too harsh.

A lot of us were invested in Elle, rooting for her and her happy ending. It’s hurts to not be included on the journey after, of course we have no right and I’m sure there’s an element of self preservation from Elle. But even just a touch of her normal insta- the interiors, fashion, Boris content, would be nice.

personally I feel better equipped (though I hope never to need to) to support a friend/ loved one through baby loss by understanding elle’s pain from losing teddy. I’m sure that was her end goal really and she’s achieved that.

It is a bit like being ghosted by a friend however, but calling things vile and sick and she used her dead baby are pretty horrid things to say and it may be worth taking a step back and thinking about what she actually went through and how you would feel if god forbid that was you.

I completely understand what you're saying but it was Elle herself who blurred the lines.

By accepting stuff like a washing machine and a huge chunk of the White Company catalogue (on the premise of calling it "work" - what a joke) not to mention numerous gifted stays, wine, clothes, candles, jewellery, Chelsea Flower Show and Wimbledon tickets - all of which she can more than afford to pay for herself - she monetised her account, an account primarily about baby loss awareness.

It never sat right with me. Ever.

And I fucking hate pugs! They are gross.

 

[FraggleRock]

Anyone else think her account has become so bloody boring - story of her steam mopping this morning! She’s trying and failing to find interesting content that doesn’t involve acknowledging her Daughters existence, it’s quite sad really!

 

[Pass_the_popcorn]

It is a bit like being ghosted by a friend however, but calling things vile and sick and she used her dead baby are pretty horrid things to say and it may be worth taking a step back and thinking about what she actually went through and how you would feel if god forbid that was you.

When you put yourself out there so much, sharing so much private information and photos, so openly on social media, you’re going to have to take the good with the negative.

When you claim to be raising awareness to baby loss but then do a swipe up to purchase the £400 Elizabeth Scarlett bedsheets you’ve been kindly gifted, or the M&S dinner party #AD’s and free Joules weekend events etc that are dotted in between, you’ve blurred the lines in my opinion.

I’m sure there’s more, I recall there being the standard kind of influencer begs, such as tagging the white company in a story when she damaged her trainers, asking for help from her followers to get the scuff out. The bakery posts where you say you’ve bought it yourself and just want to support a company online but you know you’re going to get a freebie just by doing that!

I unfollowed after all of that because it’s didn’t feel right. I didn’t really get the account at that point.

I wish her well. I think she is doing the right thing in not sharing Olivia on social media. I don’t post intimate details or photos of my family and if I want something I buy it, I don’t beg, hint or tag an account for a freebie. Instagram has contributed to a horrible side of social media, where Instagrammers are flogging their kids privacy for a free pair of shoes. It’s all so very sad really!

 

[Daisydenim]

She should really get Amazon to change this if she doesn't want people getting in touch

 

[ScarletFeather49]

That post today has really annoyed me. She thinks she’s the bloody authority on baby loss & all her opinions are correct! People say the things from her ‘list’ because they don’t know what else to say. They so desperately want to be there for you & say something to comfort & soothe but know that nothing they ever say will take away the absolute gut wrenching pain you feel. I would rather my friends & family said any of those things, than nothing at all.

Agreed! She really thinks she is THE authority on baby loss, doesn't she? Queen Elle is back on the scene to tell us, once again, all the things we're doing wrong.
What she fails to recognise is that people really have no idea what to say but they are desperate to say something, anything to fill the air and try, try, try to be there for you. It's a horrific situation and in an effort to be supportive and "help" people often say the wrong things. My brother lost his wife last year unexpectedly (pre-covid) and at the services, people said all sorts. Sometimes they were the absolute wrong things to say, like 'everything happens for a reason' or 'this is part of God's plan', and those sorts of statements can grate on you when you're grieving, but it's important to realise that people are trying to do their best and support you in the ways they know how, and that is really worth a lot. Be gracious that they are there for you, even if they don't always say the 'right' things. Elle wouldn't know how to be gracious if it hit her on the head.
I've had people say those things she lists as wrong to me, and it didn't anger me at all. Quite the opposite, in fact. I was so glad people wanted to be with me when I was at my worst, especially friends who were pregnant (when you are around someone who has lost a child and you're expecting it's some scary shit, but I was lucky none of my pregnant friends ever abandoned ship because they felt uncomfortable). I also realised that so many people had no idea what I was going through so couldn't possibly know the "right" things to say, you can imagine it, but until you have lost a child it's impossible to really know that pain, same goes for losing a spouse or a sister or brother or any other number of losses that happen when people are 'too young'. Those same people would never read Elle's book, not because they don't care about baby loss, but because her book is for people who are either her 'fans' or people who have also gone through baby loss. I agree that her book was full of stuff like this: "More people should have been there for me, but when people were there for me they said the wrong things." That's not helpful and frankly, it's insane to have these impossible expectations of people. It speaks to her entitlement and her idea that she is better than everyone else and knows ALL THE THINGS about baby loss, so listen up peasants. Most people are fixers by nature, we want to make things better, we want to fix things when they go wrong, and often when we feel like we can't fix something, we say something instead and it's not always the right thing but it's always coming from a place of love and care. Can you imagine being her friend and being asked to live up to these insane and unattainable standards of perfection? Perhaps that's why some of her friends weren't there for her after such a profound loss. I've had the exact opposite experiences in life, both in my own loss and when family or friends have lost someone. People flock to you to support you because the loss is so big and painful. There might be a person here or there who can't manage the uncomfortableness of loss, but most people are desperate to help in any way they can. Why didn't people flock to her side? Could it be her? Just a thought.

 

[Pass_the_popcorn]

I can’t believe that I caught up with 5 pages and the tea was never spilt

 

[instagrammed]

I think what I found mind blowing was her absolute snobbery in her first book regarding other peoples words to her when she lost Teddy. She needs to realise that not everyone expresses themselves in the same way and that surely people reaching out in some way is better than nothing at all. Yes she is a person who is gifted with being able to express herself in an articulate manner (privilege?) - many people are not this way. It doesn’t mean they don’t care! In actual fact although she was intending to encourage an open dialogue about child loss, she actually made me feel that I would be scared to approach somebody in a similar situation for fear of saying the wrong thing. Total snobbery.

 

[Bgr101]

Well i do hope all those ex ravers who have now joined us here are willing to apologise for the abuse they gave us on the rave thread

 

[ScarletFeather49]

Do you honestly think that her story would be so wildly shared if she wasn’t an attractive middle class woman, living in a beautiful home with absolutely no real need to work. Would the likes of Ben Fogles wife and the Mcfly boys partners be at all interested in her if she lived in a council house and worked in a minimum wage job ? (no offence meant to anyone this applies to ) I find her patronising and snobbish and I am not in the least surprised that she has reacted this way to people who have contacted her. She created a blog, Instagram account and wrote a book, of course people are going to reach out to you. If you want a private life then let it be just that private !!

This is such a good point. Her experience isn't unique, there are loads of women who lose babies or birth children who do not survive and I'd bet a lot of them are gifted writers but would never have the opportunity to tell their story. She just happens to be an attractive, well off women, who after suffering a huge tragedy didn't HAVE to go back to work to feed herself or keep a roof over her head. Lucky her. She got to spend her free time faffing around the house and posting photos on instagram. I know things are different in the UK, but most women who lose a child have only a few weeks (if they're lucky) to grieve and are right back at work here in the US. Elle lives a very privileged, very self-oriented person, who has been able to spend years focusing on her own recovery and grief. She's had the luxury of continuing to pay for fertility treatments most of us can only dream of having the financial access to. Every single mother I know who has been through the same exact thing as her has not had any of those luxuries. We've had to grieve in restrooms at work, in our car at lunch, and at night with our partners. We've been told to "get over it" and "move on" over and over and over by coworkers and bosses. We didn't have the luxury of long walks with our pug and days in bed, we've had to go right back to reality without any time to ourselves. That's real life right there for the vast majority of grieving mothers. These opportunities or luxuries would never have even been on the table for most women. She also encourages people to get in touch, so it's like which is it? Do you want people to buy your book and line your pockets but leave you alone? Support your campaigns but fuck off? Could she be any more self important. Here, buy all my things and donate to all my causes, but I don't have time for any of you peasants.

I still can’t get over the fact she’s blocked my personal account. I’ve followed her from very early days. And now boom blocked! Never written anything negative, always prayed she’d have a happy ending.

SAME. Just proves, like all of them, she's just another ENTITLED stuck up instahun who USES her followers for financial gain and personal gratification.

 

[Gemgemgemgem]

My sister has a toe ring, she put it on in 2001 and it's just remained. Toe has misshapen around it. Gross! Can see Elle's future book: toddlers, tantrums and toe rings

 

[Noname123]

Oh here we go. The new book is being advertised and the “Oh Elle”’s have began. Bet she spent the whole of last night polishing her little halo in preparation. This is definitely a business account now. Not interested. Byyyyye.

 

[Comfysofa]

I always loved her page and her honesty and as a fellow pug mum I love Boris ( shoot me now) since she had her daughter she clearly hasn’t been present on it which is fine. I found the coming back about the new house a bit crap as it screams showing off and wanting freebies. Which we know she doesn’t need, however losing a child is devastating and then miscarrying multiple times must just be awful. I really do hope she manages to have another child as she clearly wants more. It was very honest of her to put it on her feed. Lots will relate to her and even if not will have a lot of sympathy for what’s she’s going through.

This! I admire Elle so much for all the charity work she has done and all the people she has helped and my heart goes out to her for yet another sad loss. For me though, it is the new house content that doesn’t fit. It is unnecessary and thoughtless. Her account is not an interiors account anymore - consciously or unconsciously- the two don’t really go alongside each other because they seem conflicted. I mean showing off your new aga to then post from your hospital bed just doesn’t feel right?! Maybe I am being over sensitive about this but statistically many of her followers are looking to her account because she is relatable for the very subject she has become (reluctantly) famous for - baby loss and infertility - brutal, cruel and indiscriminate - but many of those same followers will not have the money to continue with IVF, or a beautifully renovated home with cosy brand new Aga to go home to. Their pain and loss is the same no doubt but comfortable surroundings, no job to carry on with whilst pushing your emotions aside and hope of trying again undoubtedly makes living marginally easier. That is my conflict! Not in the slightest that money or material things bring happiness - we know that is not true where this subject is concerned- but it shouldn’t be pushed in front of peoples faces either when the majority of those following for the important message don’t have the same fortunate situation. I hope this doesn’t sound insensitive- it is absolutely not meant to be - just a point thats all that the content doesn’t all fit together anymore.