Feathering the empty nest.

[AC_23]

I feel really conflicted about Elle. I’ve followed her since way back when she was “Mrs Elle Wright” rather than FTEN and I always really liked her. Her story was so heartbreaking and she always seemed really humbled by Teddy’s death. I enjoyed her blog and her interior photos too, I didn’t just follow her because her baby died. I think she really opened a lot of people’s eyes to baby loss and infant death and I think that was her objective which is commendable.

I think she then became just another influencer sadly and I went off her a bit. The gifts, the ads etc. And I know she said it was her job and she was within her rights to earn an income, but I don’t know it just felt off.

And now she’s back on the gram I’ve gone off her again I feel like the whole “small business sharing” everyday is a bit of a humble brag - it’s too extremely different from the ‘influencer’ she had become. And emphasising the fact she BOUGHT all the things like yes round of applause you’ve not been gifted them, but a lot of the companies she shows are fucking expensive and it comes across a bit braggy!

The fact she hasn’t show the baby or given an update on her what her life is like with her daughter is something I find odd, seeing as she’s always been so open about talking about Teddy, showing his face and her experience of being a mum without a living baby. And I completely get that it’s her right to do whatever she wants, I get that I’m not saying she owes us anything, I just find it all strange.

So to conclude, I’m not sure how I feel about her now I think she’s trying too hard to be the perfect person online rather than just being authentic, which is a shame really because a lot of her followers really like her as a person and wish her well, and I’m sure would be so pleased to see how her life is at the minute with her new baby.

 

[Sunshine&clouds]

I like your very tongue in cheek response! I know that some of the things that have been said are quite unkind. I do think Boris is an UD, I used to think he was ok but Eleanor turned me off him when she was making videos etc about him. I think an ‘influencer’ with 170k followers (was 193k the other day?) should have better content than that. The gingham dress, well I thought it was so 1970s and so Surrey huns She does have a crooked smile, only really point that out because she acts as though she is above others and something really special and she’s not. I have to say she defo brings out the worst in me and therefore I’m probably a bit unkind when it comes to her. No excuses from me but she was rude and unkind to me some time ago after I had followed her for years and supported her with messages and donations etc. So I don’t feel any guilt at all for calling her and her fakeness out. Imo she needs a massive shot of humility and to be more humble and develop a less holier than thou attitude.

I don't like her and I'm definitely not having a go at you! I had a run in with her once, a few years ago. It was tiny compared to the experiences of others. I asked her something (not about babies) and she sent a bit of a "I don't do things like this, because I'm so popular and busy". She linked it to Teddy and made me feel terrible. I honestly felt like a really bad person, hounding her, (though only one brief DM). I got so screwed up and felt so guilty. I was nearly in tears. Then her very next post was about something practically identical but less kind and completely selfish and self promoting. It really knocked me because she had used Teddy. Thinking about this stresses me even now.

Until I saw this thread I'd carried that guilt round with me, all this time. It sounds stupid, I know. But reading this made me realise that she's good at this. All the comments have been about quite specific situations. It's not a general nastiness, it's actually targeted. She uses Teddy as a weapon and I feel like I'm going to go to hell for saying this. What's really sad is her power. This side of her has never been spoken about before. She's had so many chances. My run in with her is trivial compared to things she's said to people who have lost their babies and I'm not in any way comparing my situation to this. But I think she was horrible and manipulated me because I'm really quite sensitive and lacking confidence. I bet she hasn't done any of this to strong people, or people who are useful.

I still like the dress and Boris! But this thread has been the hardest to read and post in because I, like the rest of us, have supported her for so long and shed tears for Teddy. Her abuse of that support and kindness is horrible to read about.

 

[youhavinabubble]

She’s very pally with Gettingstuffdoneinheels. And that is one massive twat. Make of that what you like.

 

[Libertine]

I think, also as someone who has experienced debilitating losses, that Elle skates very close to commercialising grief. Her child’s death is the only reason she has a large Instagram following. This doesn’t negate the good she has done or her immense grief, but it doesn’t sit well with me.

Maybe she needs two accounts? A ‘personal’ account for advertising and a ‘charity’ account for fundraising? Then she’d be beyond reproach.

 

[Prgirl_cesca]

Elle clearly reads here, it was mentioned that the old house wasn’t that big on here a while back, hence her repeatedly saying ‘this little house’

She definitely reads here as she blocked me on insta with no reason other than she saw my post on here and then went to the hassle of searching her DMs for our conversation I mentioned here.

 

[Candycrush]

She really fucked me off when she hinted she knew about the book previously... like one of those Facebook dickheads who comment on pregnancy announcements ‘So glad the news is finally out...’ DO ONE HUN


Point well made!!

Those comments on the pregnancy posts do me in Like ooh look at me I'm one of the chosen few to know the secret and you peasants had to wait for the announcement.

 

[Candycrush]

To be honest I'm not really sure how I feel about her needing to tell everyone that it was written pre Olivia. During that time she was busy telling people she was trying to take her mind off everything and didn't really want to think of the possibilities of what could happen in case the worst was to happen again. When actually she was busy writing it in a book so that she could sell it.

 

[Lollipop1990]

Why post from your hospital bed? Why does this need to be shared? It’s terrible, really really sad that this has happened. But why does everything need to make it onto Instagram?

I’ve had miscarriages before and the last thing on my mind is taking a photo! It’s baffling

 

[Reluctantly Alice]

Hello. New here,hope I'm posting this correctlyI first started following Elle early 2017 as she was totally relatable to myself..but in the last year i really feel as though she's pulled away and become rather obnoxious and extremely arrogant..almost like she's saying oh hi,got what I've always wanted now so goodbye and F you all..all this please dont message me as I can't help was so rude and could have been put in a better way! I think the fact she ended up with a big following just got to her head. Also, correct me if I'm wrong,but im sure on her pregnancy announcement she stated it wouldn't turn in to a new mums account and it would still be a "safe place"..yet there she is on stories bombarding us all with her fav baby buysalso her feed of late is poor,I can't see people staying to see photos of a plant pot..I think she needs to come back down to planet earth or pull her head out of her backside. At the end of the day she lives in a small 3 bed semi with off road parking,she's not so different from her followers yet she flouces around like she's lady Eleanor of Surrey i think trying to keep up with more obviously wealthy influencers turns these people in to bitter women with huge chip on their shoulder! Sad really

 

[Astyanax]

I reached out to Elle about sharing my story on the mums voice blog. I don’t want to give any details which would out me but my story is quite unusual and I would like to use it to help other people. I was basically told no the next blog series will only be BAME contributions (as I’ve only just discovered they exist ha ha!)

 

[Noname123]

100%
It's 2021, women especially shouldn't be judging other women by their looks or size or outfits. We have enough men trying to enforce the patriarchal idea that women are only worth their looks. If we keep judging each other like this, they are putting us where there want us, divide and conquer and all that. If we big each other up, we will become more powerful.
(fu@k me where the heck did that all just come from?!!)
Let us just judge on how people treat others. Elle's a douche.

Oh bore off. She’s an attractive, well off, middle class, white woman. Please just let us say she dresses like an old woman without everybody getting their knickers in a twist.

 

[Abettermumma]

Anyone watching her on sky news this morning?

Things I would rather do than give her any publicity:
Shit in my hands and clap
Poke myself in the eye
Voluntarily spend time with my mother in law
Give myself an colonoscopy

Uh there’s plenty more but there we go.

 

[Hastaggifted]

She was one of my faves but I've had to unfollow. She isn't bothered by instagram, good for her, enjoy the baby. But shut it down if you are done with it. As others have said a thank you and goodbye post would have been better than to come back to flog the book, without any actual stories anymore

 

[Gemgemgemgem]

She should really get Amazon to change this if she doesn't want people getting in touch

View attachment 452960

That exact paragraph about wanting people who've experienced loss was the reason my SIL contacted her. Never in a million years would she have thought she'd get the dismissive replies she did. Should have said "reach out to me so I can tell you your loss isn't as bad as mine and it's not my problem".

 

[Mumof3]

I do think it’s odd that after sharing so much of Teddy, photos etc, that her daughter is completely absent from her account. Maybe I can understand the no photos, but she doesn’t even mention her. She really acts like she doesn’t want to be back, and if that’s the case (and fair enough if if it) then just close the account and disappear.

 

[Gemgemgemgem]

Yeah, I agree, it’s a little strange.

I don’t have any interest in seeing the little one at all. I don’t even follow FTEN anymore or see her stories. I just find it a little strange that Elle wanted this brand new chapter with her much wanted baby, made a huge thing about how she was leaving this Instagram account etc, to then return with the most boring and random content. It’s strange how she pretty much spoke about Teddy all the time but seldom mentions his sibling. I get that the account was dedicated to Teddy and her coming to terms with the horrendous loss in her empty nest, but thankfully for Elle, her nest is no longer empty. To keep posting but never mentioning her daughter is so strange. Especially after revealing so much prior to this - even poor baby Teddy’s stillborn photo.
I dunno, it’s her life and her social media, it just seems as though (and this will sound awful), that she's profited off her baby’s death and created this poor childless woman narrative for herself, got popular, brands felt sympathy for her so sent her free stuff. She got her happily ever after, misses the instafame and freebies so is dipping her toe back in practically screaming “I’m doing a Reno give me free stuff”. Doesn’t sit right with me, but who am I to judge?!

 

[Noname123]

Everyone may as well just donate the £11.95 directly to Tommy’s and just read her blog instead. Miss out the patronising middle man. It’s not even as though she wrote the whole book, there’s 4 other people who helped her out on this one.

 

[AC_23]

She has well and truly stuck two fingers up at the thousands of people who have backed her for a long time. Her instagram doesn’t even have a photo of herself as the profile photo or even her own name!! Last attempt to get a few pennies from this book and she’s off.

I would have respected her SO much if she’d put that latest blog post out, put up a nice photo on her grid of herself (maybe even the back of O’s head ) and said (in a fancier way) “since baby was born I don’t want to do Instagram anymore, I did write a book when I was pregnant though and I really hope it helps other women who are going through what I went through - here’s how to buy it. I’m going to leave my page active and my blog too so that if anyone wants to read through it they can but from now on I won’t be active. Thankyou for the support, well wishes and love you’ve all shown.”

If I’d seen that I’d have been like “wow respect to you, you go and enjoy your baby you deserve it.”

But the half arsed attempt/blatant disregard for her followers has sooo put me off!

 

[Candycrush]

I don't think any of these instagrammers realise that they wouldn't even get one book deal let alone several without their following on IG. Part time working mummy, Hinch, Anna Mathur. Who would give them a book deal if they were Jane Bloggs down the road. Yet they talk about SM being just an unpaid hobby that they could leave at any time. Nope it's a way of lining their own pockets.

 

[Nellyboy]

Absolutely! He was constant.. “Look at us, we are considerably richer than yooooooou”. I actually think she tries to appeal to the upper class followers; she wants to form relationships with celebs etc.

OMG you are so right . I’m convinced the reason she was horrible to me was that I am a small account with a small number of followers and I am certainly not upper class or a celeb. You have hit the nail right on the head . People like me are of no use to her, I don’t know influential people or can’t get her any freebies or new followers. All I know is that I followed her for a number of years, donated to Tedicated Cycle, donated many times for the NICU etc and when I reached out she slapped me right back down and made me feel, quite frankly, like . I had sent her so many positive messages on many occasions, only receiving the in response, if that. One time, I messaged her with reference to my own heartbreak and immediately she shut me down. So long as you’re talking about her and supporting her that’s fine. As soon as you might want to mention you also have she shows her true colours. That is why I say that Eleanor is fake. I know this is harsh but I do actually believe she has monetised the loss of her son. I didn’t used to think that, I thought her page was all to do with her healing. Maybe she started out that way but the book and the celebs and the big following has truly gone to her head. She does think she is above most people and she judges people by their wealth and ‘status’. She’s only being nicey nicey now because she has a book to sell. Eleanor Wright is not the only person who has suffered the loss of a precious baby but she acts like she is . #allthatglittersisntgold