Fathering Autism #6 Bandaid Dog, P tries to jog, Why won't they just get a job?

[PhartBlossom]

This is all just my opinion from what I've seen. Asa mistreats Priss. He's manipulative and whiny at best and emotionally abusive at worst. If you start listening at this point, Priscilla worries about the juice getting on her car and he goes "I'll get it... I'LL GET IT" and then the camera cuts. I wonder why. Probably so Assa can continue berating Priss, we know he has anger issues.

Then when she politely mentions the pointing thing, he gets way too upset and defensive about it. She was 100% in the right to mention it but he can't have that. He doesn't just say "oh yeah" or even just say his piece and leave it at that. He goes ON and ON and ON and does not let it go. How dare she question him.

I know we don't like Priss here, but people can be crappy and still be getting misteated by their spouse. Can you imagine how exhausting Assa is? If that's what she has to deal with 24/7 I wouldn't want to do any of Abbie's care either. No mistakes or backtalk allowed or he'll be yelling at you about it for the next hour. Priss' self-esteem is in the mud and I'm sure a lot of it is how he treats her. You have to walk on eggshells around Asa because he does NOT let things go. He's quick to correct everyone around him, but don't you DARE do the same to him or you'll hear about it.

He thinks he edits well enough that he still looks like a great guy. But anyone who's been with someone like that knows the signs and can see between the lines of how he treats her. If that's what he leaves in, imagine what he edits out. He's a weak, insecure, petulant little man who mistreats his wife and son. You know....in my opinion.

"little man syndrome" Asa is the poster child for it.

And I will add...the bigger his belly and moobs get? The smaller his pecker gets. cocktail weenie

 

[RocketQueen]

I havent figured out how to quote more than once in a reply so I;m just shooting from the hip reading comments.

Food. Its always been a problem, still a problem and they truly do not care. They work on it for a while, slight improvements, then they back off and she regresses again, And then theres Asa, who posts TWO pic's of him baiting her with food.

The cake said "Congratulations" because it was for Asa from P and the kids for reaching 500.000 on his channel.

The throwing drinks in the car. If I were P I would be ticked too. Toddlers learn not to throw their drinks, whether someone else took it for her or not, thats not acceptable. I think Asa was snotty about it because he was the one who gave her both the water and the juice because he "knows" what she wants, and he was wrong.

Playlist last year was awful. Abbie was a mess most of the time and poor Isaiah was stuck caring for her while A&P were out smoozing and "spreading awareness" and it was truly sad. If you havent seen that VlOG you should watch. But this year will be "better"because they have Becca. (Their words not mine)

Abbie had never been to Asa's Dads house. His dad and step-mom just bought that house and have lived in Virginia forever, in the house Asa grew up in. They know new places throw Abbie off, but instead of P helping, she runs to "help in the kitchen" and Asa is too busy blogging. I agree his Dad/wife arent as good with Abbie as P's parents, but in their defense they had only seen her a few times a year,

 

[KateK]

I havent figured out how to quote more than once in a reply so I;m just shooting from the hip reading comments.

Food. Its always been a problem, still a problem and they truly do not care. They work on it for a while, slight improvements, then they back off and she regresses again, And then theres Asa, who posts TWO pic's of him baiting her with food.

The cake said "Congratulations" because it was for Asa from P and the kids for reaching 500.000 on his channel.

The throwing drinks in the car. If I were P I would be ticked too. Toddlers learn not to throw their drinks, whether someone else took it for her or not, thats not acceptable. I think Asa was snotty about it because he was the one who gave her both the water and the juice because he "knows" what she wants, and he was wrong.

Playlist last year was awful. Abbie was a mess most of the time and poor Isaiah was stuck caring for her while A&P were out smoozing and "spreading awareness" and it was truly sad. If you havent seen that VlOG you should watch. But this year will be "better"because they have Becca. (Their words not mine)

Abbie had never been to Asa's Dads house. His dad and step-mom just bought that house and have lived in Virginia forever, in the house Asa grew up in. They know new places throw Abbie off, but instead of P helping, she runs to "help in the kitchen" and Asa is too busy blogging. I agree his Dad/wife arent as good with Abbie as P's parents, but in their defense they had only seen her a few times a year,

Did you also notice that Asa's Dad's wife said she cried for days about not liking the house and the kitchen.. but now she is better with it.. I wonder if she was very happy about having to uproot and move to Florida.. ? Why would they buy a house she didn't like?

 

[RocketQueen]

I too am of the opinion that Assa is an emotionally abusive asshole to his FAMILY that allegedly means sooo much to him.
I recognize the tone and mannerisms of a "man" like Assa as well.
The thing is, why doesn't she just leave?
She has the money to do so.
Money is the #1 reason women are stuck in relationships like this and worse ones.
Yet she stays.
Why?
Everything is in her name.
Paying him half would be a small price to pay for peace.
She could give him custody of Abbie and finally have the life she has dreamed of all these years.
The whole thing is so weird.
Nothing they do makes any sense.
IMO

I see this a lot in my line of work and the fact is, some women never leave. Ever. From mental abuse, to the worst physical abuse you can imagine, for some reason they LOVE the person they are with. ( I say person because there are is also a lot of female on female abuse that isnt discussed) Sometimes it is as simple as a lack of self-esteem, the person may feel they will never find someone else, they've been conditioned to believe that they are the problem and at fault, mirroring their own parents relationship, etc., it goes on and on. But sometimes, as hard as it can be to believe, they just love their abuser. And P loves him. They've been poor (or close to it) from jump, she didnt stay for money. He left her and she took him back. The 2nd child reveal, she stayed. Just look at the way she GAZES at him. She doesnt "feel" abused and she is not going anywhere.

 

[Noir Fan]

Did you also notice that Asa's Dad's wife said she cried for days about not liking the house and the kitchen.. but now she is better with it.. I wonder if she was very happy about having to uproot and move to Florida.. ? Why would they buy a house she didn't like?

I was thinking the same thing myself. I wonder if she was not considered in the buying process. That would definitely piss me off. Very strange.

 

[RocketQueen]

Did you also notice that Asa's Dad's wife said she cried for days about not liking the house and the kitchen.. but now she is better with it.. I wonder if she was very happy about having to uproot and move to Florida.. ? Why would they buy a house she didn't like?

She wasnt happy, they kept their Virginia home for that reason. The plan is that they will winter in Fl and summer in Virginia. Asa had been hounding his Dad for years to move near them, and I guess when the bungalow (which they said is rare in the neighborhood, most houses there are much too large for 2 people) hit the market his dad agreed.

 

[HA15]

I have worked in the field of ABA with kiddos on food snatching- from my experience it is A LOT of work, it takes constant persistence. We have parent/caregiver sessions where we train the caregiver on the strategies (we start with the food far away and move it closer and closer over time, we use lots of reinforcement when they eat off their own plate, removal when they go for the other food etc. there is a lot more to it as well)- we only see success when the caregivers are following the procedure EVERY time. I imagine they just do not put the effort in to teach her not to/follow any steps that would have been put in place for it.
ETA: because it is certainly a behaviour that can be diminished.

 

[Noir Fan]

I see this a lot in my line of work and the fact is, some women never leave. Ever. From mental abuse, to the worst physical abuse you can imagine, for some reason they LOVE the person they are with. ( I say person because there are is also a lot of female on female abuse that isnt discussed) Sometimes it is as simple as a lack of self-esteem, the person may feel they will never find someone else, they've been conditioned to believe that they are the problem and at fault, mirroring their own parents relationship, etc., it goes on and on. But sometimes, as hard as it can be to believe, they just love their abuser. And P loves him. They've been poor (or close to it) from jump, she didnt stay for money. He left her and she took him back. The 2nd child reveal, she stayed. Just look at the way she GAZES at him. She doesnt "feel" abused and she is not going anywhere.

Agree with this. I was horribly abused physically and mentally from my late ex-husband 36 years ago. Believe me, when I could, I took my two babies, both under the age of two, and left his ass. It took me several years to get up the nerve and courage, but my kids lives depended upon it. The bastard also never showed any interest in his kids and also did not ever provide financial child support. You must love yourself and your children instead of someone who deserves nothing.

 

[Stripe69]

They should've left when they realized how uncomfortable she was then. It's that simple. They are always leaving places prematurely due to Abigail being uncomfortable so, what is the difference? The drink thing was still not cool, in my opinion. He told her to put it in the cup holder but, she decided to throw it in the floor, not once but, twice. I don't know, I'm just thinking that they have let "behaviors" go on for so long that it's going to be almost impossible to teach her not to do them. They have always been too busy calling them "too cute" to actually stop them. It's sad really. (Just my opinion)

It might been seen as cute as a child but not so cute now she is growing up.

The stealing food gets me as well, especially since she constantly picks her nose.

Yes I feel the same way. When they were preparing the meal at the grandparents, Abbie was continually going into the kitchen and then later stealing food from summer’s plate. What is it with the food obsession , is it medication that makes her constantly want food?
I don’t feel that they try to stop her enough. I’ve seen them stop her a few times but they are just not consistent .
They need to work on that behaviour before taking her to eat out. It can’t be fun for anyone, them or other people in the restaurant.

"little man syndrome" Asa is the poster child for it.

And I will add...the bigger his belly and moobs get? The smaller his pecker gets. cocktail weenie

Haha

 

[lovesis]

Did you also notice that Asa's Dad's wife said she cried for days about not liking the house and the kitchen.. but now she is better with it.. I wonder if she was very happy about having to uproot and move to Florida.. ? Why would they buy a house she didn't like?

Someone here mentioned that Asas parents are very traditional in the sense that the man is the provider/authoritative and the woman is a homemaker.

There was a vlog of them having dinner with his parents and Asa mentions that Priscilla lacks in the homemaker area, he was comparing her to his mom.

 

[PhartBlossom]

I have worked in the field of ABA with kiddos on food snatching- from my experience it is A LOT of work, it takes constant persistence. We have parent/caregiver sessions where we train the caregiver on the strategies (we start with the food far away and move it closer and closer over time, we use lots of reinforcement when they eat off their own plate, removal when they go for the other food etc. there is a lot more to it as well)- we only see success when the caregivers are following the procedure EVERY time. I imagine they just do not put the effort in to teach her not to/follow any steps that would have been put in place for it.
ETA: because it is certainly a behaviour that can be diminished.

They are not consistent, that's for sure. But they bait her with food for tiktoks and views. How can they bait her that way, then teach her not to take food? Makes no sense at all.

 

[GrammaL]

I just watched the newest video and I'm sorry but, if she were my child, and started throwing drinks around in my car (open drinks mind you) I would've stopped that car and made her pick that tit up right quick and in a hurry! Now that type of born in a barn behavior should've been stopped ages ago. Disabled or not, you shouldn't be able to act like a heathen. The way she was acting at the grandparents house would've drove me insane as well. Just all over the place. Summer had to stand in front of her to keep her sitting. They weren't even stopping her from stealing Summer's food until she finally spoke up and said, " she is stealing the croutons from my salad!". Honestly, I would refuse to eat in her presence. Nobody should have to worry about a "teenager" stealing their food off their plate or out of their hand. I have a feeling that they aren't sticking to the "dont steal food" thing and it's really showing. Sorry guys....just my opinion.

As others have pointed out,Abbie it appeared tried to pass the drink to her father. He was to busy w the camera. There is muted period during this incident after PityCilla states that the juice was going to be all the car,then as they are arriving,you can here Asa in a irritated voice saying he will take care of it,then an edit.(Argument perhaps)

Knowing that Abbie has trouble w new surroundings,a bag of her things should have been brought out to engage her and possibly calm her down. Instead,all most could do was keep telling her to sit.

And yes,the food stealing should be addressed more often. The school let them know is an issue,and while they stated they were going to address it(was actually Brandy who brought it up) seems it isn’t working or more like they just let it go.

One cannot call out Abbie for her behaviors as it’s the caregivers/parents who are responsible to get a handle on it,and do it consistently. If one goes way back in videos,you can see one where Abbie is just running around in circles in the living room,bouncing from couch to chair and back,over & over. She is maybe 6/7 yrs old(maybe younger) and the whole time,Asa is filming it,not trying in any way to help calm her,distract her to do something else. Don’t know how long it went on,but the vid is at the least 2/3 minutes of nothing but.
In a few scenes,you notice a gate up which looks like maybe blocking the kitchen. You see a very young Isiah w PityCilla ( who never gets up,says a word) throughout the whole video.
One wonders for how many years was this behavior allowed to go on without some sort of redirection/intervention. ( And YES,I do get some kids will do this,or other repetitive behaviors). One also notices that Abbie is aware that Asa is filming,as she gets close enough and appears to giggle,then continue running/bouncing.

Again, it’s always up to the parents,caregivers,teachers,etc to curb those things,intervene,redirect,etc.

 

[RocketQueen]

Someone here mentioned that Asas parents are very traditional in the sense that the man is the provider/authoritative and the woman is a homemaker.

There was a vlog of them having dinner with his parents and Asa mentions that Priscilla lacks in the homemaker area, he was comparing her to his mom.

Ding! Ding! Post of the day!

YES! She actually cried. And you know what? That was right after they moved to the new place. And now suddenly, she is focused on decorating and throwing parties, and Asa LOVES it. Hes constantly gushing over it now and shes eating it up.

 

[Cranky Insomniac]

Ding! Ding! Post of the day!

YES! She actually cried. And you know what? That was right after they moved to the new place. And now suddenly, she is focused on decorating and throwing parties, and Asa LOVES it. Hes constantly gushing over it now and shes eating it up.

More gaslighting from A. At the rental he always said how he didn't care about decorating and that it was a "woman" thing.

 

[ChickenGeorge]

A made a mistake when he told his Volg that Kaidale went to the same school as Abbie. Kaidale is being raised by a single mother who has never mentioned the name of the school her son attends. She has said he attend a wonderful school but I feel quite sure she never said the name of it.

 

[GrammaL]

Someone here mentioned that Asas parents are very traditional in the sense that the man is the provider/authoritative and the woman is a homemaker.

There was a vlog of them having dinner with his parents and Asa mentions that Priscilla lacks in the homemaker area, he was comparing her to his mom.

I watched that vlog..think the title was after dinner family conversations. PityCilla was really put out over what they were discussing( homemaking) and at one point states that what Asa’ mom does/did is not normal!! ( I must be horribly “abnormal”)
Also heard that when they first started out, and living there,her MIL did their laundry. Instead of PityCilla or even Asa saying how much they appreciated it,Cilla shoots daggers while Asa keeps rambling.
Most of us who have followe saw earlier vids have heard Cilla state she doesn’t really like/know how to cook. When decorating she always seems to seek approval/help from Asa.
Made such a big deal about Abbies room makeover and every time they show it,looks like hasn’t been touched since( bed unmade,items strewn all over)
She works from home! She should be able to take 2 hrs while Abbie is in school,get housework/laundry done,etc.( Wait,can’t run to DD,HobbyLobby).

Often wonder how involved w Pitycillas makeup thingy he is as he just needs to be involved in every aspect of her life. Am tired of her constantly looking to him for approval,making sure he is okay w what she says/does. Maybe her insecurity comes from wha he did all those yrs ago. I dunno,but it’s not a good look on her at all!

Boy, I would sure never put my life and my family up for views on YouTube. I can’t even imagine!

Yeah, I agree. But today it’s a “thing” and if anyone dares post a contrary opinion to what they post,many get quite mad,go w name calling,etc.
IMO,if you want privacy,then keep the cameras away. Make home movies that only family members/ friends get to see,not the whole world.
You put it out there,you get everything that comes w it,good/bad.

 

[Mother2]

As others have pointed out,Abbie it appeared tried to pass the drink to her father. He was to busy w the camera. There is muted period during this incident after PityCilla states that the juice was going to be all the car,then as they are arriving,you can here Asa in a irritated voice saying he will take care of it,then an edit.(Argument perhaps)

Knowing that Abbie has trouble w new surroundings,a bag of her things should have been brought out to engage her and possibly calm her down. Instead,all most could do was keep telling her to sit.

And yes,the food stealing should be addressed more often. The school let them know is an issue,and while they stated they were going to address it(was actually Brandy who brought it up) seems it isn’t working or more like they just let it go.

One cannot call out Abbie for her behaviors as it’s the caregivers/parents who are responsible to get a handle on it,and do it consistently. If one goes way back in videos,you can see one where Abbie is just running around in circles in the living room,bouncing from couch to chair and back,over & over. She is maybe 6/7 yrs old(maybe younger) and the whole time,Asa is filming it,not trying in any way to help calm her,distract her to do something else. Don’t know how long it went on,but the vid is at the least 2/3 minutes of nothing but.
In a few scenes,you notice a gate up which looks like maybe blocking the kitchen. You see a very young Isiah w PityCilla ( who never gets up,says a word) throughout the whole video.
One wonders for how many years was this behavior allowed to go on without some sort of redirection/intervention. ( And YES,I do get some kids will do this,or other repetitive behaviors). One also notices that Abbie is aware that Asa is filming,as she gets close enough and appears to giggle,then continue running/bouncing.

Again, it’s always up to the parents,caregivers,teachers,etc to curb those things,intervene,redirect,etc.

You didn't see my other comment, did you? (I'm assuming you didn't bc, you wouldn't have said the part about "one cannot call Abbie out for the behaviors". I actually said that the parents have been so busy calling everything she does "too cute" to actually teach her that those behaviors are unacceptable.) The second time Abigail was given the drink she chucks it in the floor pretty much immediately, which, insinuates that she has probably been allowed to do that sort of thing for awhile without anyone saying ," please pick that up", or ," please dont do that". I think patience is something that she struggles with terribly. She wont even give anyone the time to do much of anything before the behaviors start in. I think that maybe they should start with teaching patience.

 

[lovesis]

A made a mistake when he told his Volg that Kaidale went to the same school as Abbie. Kaidale is being raised by a single mother who has never mentioned the name of the school her son attends. She has said he attend a wonderful school but I feel quite sure she never said the name of it.

She probably wants to maintain privacy unlike the maasss.

 

[GrammaL]

You didn't see my other comment, did you? (I'm assuming you didn't bc, you wouldn't have said the part about "one cannot call Abbie out for the behaviors". I actually said that the parents have been so busy calling everything she does "too cute" to actually teach her that those behaviors are unacceptable.) The second time Abigail was given the drink she chucks it in the floor pretty much immediately, which, insinuates that she has probably been allowed to do that sort of thing for awhile without anyone saying ," please pick that up", or ," please dont do that". I think patience is something that she struggles with terribly. She wont even give anyone the time to do much of anything before the behaviors start in. I think that maybe they should start with teaching patience.

I didn’t mean it as a slight to your post. I actually agree w what you wrote. Was just stating how I see it. Apologize if you took it as anything else...mea culpa

 

[Mindyabusiness]

Ever seen “The Miracle Worker“ with Patty Duke? I get flashbacks of the dinner scene (at the beginning of the movie) after watching the vlog yesterday. Not as dramatic as the movie, of course, but still reminds me of it.

Hellen Keller vibes