Fathering Autism #116 Trying homeschooling? Who are they fooling?

[Kimmied]

I’m not sure I should say this. I’ve known most of you for years. I agree with almost every one’s opinions on what those people did or didn’t do to help their daughter.

Please don’t judge me too harshly, but when my ID kid does something age appropriate and on his own, I let myself pretend he is just a young adult. He’s turning 19 and still I’m questioning every single thing I didn’t pick up on from a younger age. He is my baby, my last. I excused a lot of behaviors and thought he was messing with me when he’d misbehave. I understand why they are like that with Abbie. The difference I think is that I will take control if he starts acting up. We have left movies and roller skating and bowling and so many stores it hurts to admit he’s different. He’s my kid. I love every single imperfect perfection he is. For his sake more than mine I have him set to be on a placement list when he ages out of his program.

I hope some of that makes sense. I was t-boned on Saturday afternoon and still have a headache. I will be getting an mri tomorrow if it doesn’t let up. Funny though, the woman that hit me is from Brazil and went back home Sunday. I’m glad no one was hurt but my poor ugly Kia is a goner. I can’t believe I really cared so much about that pos car! My daughter thinks it’s hilarious how dramatic the light post was being!

 

[Appalled watcher from Eng]

I couldn’t deal with Abbie either…not even for 15 minutes.

They have made Abbie lazy and badly behaved due to total lack of discipline.

 

[HeyGuyth]

Don't be under any illusions about Brandy. She's a snake and opportunist just like the hambeasts. NO professional would agree to be filmed like this which involves the exploitation of a severely disabled child. I wouldn't be surprised if they are paying Brandy under the table for her to appear on the vlogs. She's just as bad, but more sly about it. Also, if she said she didn't want to be filmed, the hambeasts would likely get rid of her, which means she loses money. It's ALL about money for this bunch. Money is truly the root of all evil.

As for Abbie, this girl is too far gone. I really feel like her profound IDD is the cause of most of her issues. She doesn't understand WHY she is rinsing her lunchbox or vacuuming. She was throwing the vacuum around not knowing WTF she was doing. Also, why does Abbie constantly look around the room and the ceiling?! I would love to know what goes on in her head sometimes.

I think her IDD is the reason why she isn't able to retain much at all, let alone understand things like the WHY and HOW. I really believe they will put her in a facility by the time she is 20. Just think about it - her behaviour seems to be getting worse, she is regressing and has been for some time, she still isn't toilet trained and can't even do basic self care. She is getting more and more unmanageable and bigger and bigger; soon she will be 20 years old and 200 pounds plus. The hambeasts will burn out big time and just won't be able to cope anymore (not to mention financial issues when FA and selfishworld comes to an end).

 

[KateK]

He needs to take her nicely by the arm, and PROMPT her to get her ass out of the car. Although he uses it for content sometimes too. Grab her shoes, grab her arm and botty bing, botta boo out of the car.

Abbie has no discipline and no respect for them. I would have gotten her out of the car in a firm, decisive manner... I would NOT plead for her to do something like that... there would be consequences. I bet Asshat drove her for a donut...which is probably what she wanted. They are really in for some very hard times with her.. which I'm sure they are already experiencing. Its painful watching them.

 

[WowMeowMeowWow]

He has his f’ing nerve wearing this shirt. Practice what you preach Ass face.

 

[CoffeeMomof2]

If she has the capability of understanding things like "Let's go for a cart ride" or "Let's go get a donut" - she responds lightning quick when she hears those - it stands to reason she has the capability to understand other things.

I sometimes think about the time we saw, on camera, that Abbie does have a certain level of understanding beyond what many give her credit for.

She and Asa were leaving the house (maybe to school?) and Asa was ahead of her, walking backwards & recording her coming out of the door. She started to follow him across the patio, leaving the door to the house open.
Asa said, offhandedly, "Abbie, get the door."
She turned around, walked the couple steps back, and closed the door to the house. She then turned back around and followed Asa across the patio. No jumpcuts, no clever editing, just a quick 30 second interaction.

Get the door.

It wasn't "Stop. Turn around. Go shut the door."
It was "get the door."
She understood enough to differentiate get the door from get your shoes.

It seems obvious to us, right? "Get the door," in colloquial English, means to take charge of opening or closing a door - if your hands are full as you approach your house and you tell your partner to get the door, they understand it means to step ahead and open the door rather than to close a door, or to go retrieve the door itself.
And that's actually, in terms of receptive language, fairly advanced understanding. I don't mean college level understanding, of course, but it's something you could say to a neurotypical 5 year old and they might be a little confused at the request.

I don't think she has the ability to understand what Youtube is, or that she's being recorded & displayed to tens of thousands+, but she has enough receptive language to understand and respond to significantly more than an infant would.

 

[SunnyDale]

Do you see this Pigcilla? This is what successful WSL looks like. Congratulations Crazy Nanny.

 

[SCCOct66]

I honestly don't think Abbie is functioning with that chaotic kind of life and it could very well be part of why her behaviors are the way they are. We don't let our boy just throw shit everywhere because he is at home. That's not acceptable behavior anywhere. We didn't let our NT son do that either, so why let our ASD kiddo?

They live on an island, it seems. Their whole world is encompassed by just themselves and their "people". The rest of the world are just observers into their lives and manners, tact, decorum and decency aren't things they are concerned with. Anyone that they come into contact with should just accept them as these amazing advocates and "celebrities". Just another example of how delusional they are

 

[PlumBlossom]

FA Thread Suggestion #117


Abbie Will Honk
Big P Will Toot
Asa Will Lie for Humper Loot

 

[CoffeeMomof2]

I don't understand her inability to do things sometimes. I've seen her unable to identify a spoon or choose the milk from the fridge even though she eats cereal every day. I realize this may be a difficulty with receptive communication, but last video she rinsed a dish when prompted but didn't take off the lid. This is a task she's been doing for years. My kids and nieces at 3 or 4 would have taken the lid off. She has just been so failed by her parents.

Oh, that's pretty easy.

It's a matter of executive function for the most part.

My younger child has "level 3" autism - that's the medical term for "severe" autism, or "high support needs" autism.
Thus far, they don't have an intellectual disability diagnosis. Their approximate IQ is on the low side of normal & they can complete modified schoolwork at or near grade level - though this may change as they get older & intellectual demands increase.
And I explain this because, in terms of IQ and "intelligence," my child is more advanced than Abbie in many areas in life.

They still need tasks broken down into smaller steps with clear instructions and reminders. A task with several/many steps, or one with many possible ways to tackle it, is nearly impossible to complete without guidance.
My child, and many autistic people, have serious issues with executive function. If you were faced with cleaning a messy room, you'd pick up items from the floor, put them where they belong, wipe up that spill you noticed while tidying, vacuum the rug once it's cleared, run a duster over the surfaces, straighten the crooked picture on the wall, etc.
A person with executive function problems will literally struggle to know where to begin. Once they do begin, they may not be able to do things in the "logical" order (i.e. pick up toys from the rug before vacuuming), they may be distracted by other things that come up (i.e. you've picked up half the toys when you notice the spill, so you go get a towel to wipe up the spill but on the way you see a boot left in the middle of the hallway so you pick that up to put it away but then there's a knock on the door so you answer it, still holding the boot, sign for the package, go put the package on the kitchen counter, realize you're thirsty so you grab a quick drink of water, and then you're standing there with a boot in your hand and the original messy room a distant memory), or they may just get overwhelmed by the task and shut down.

If a person is already dysregulated in terms of sensory needs, executive functioning is impossible. It's like trying to do trigonometry with someone screaming in your ear.

So, instead of telling my child - either of them, really - "clean your room!" I give them a starting point and a defined task to complete.
"First pick up all your toys and put them in the bin."
"Now pick up the dirty clothes and put them in the hamper."
"Now throw the paper scraps in the garbage can."

My older child has a diagnosis of "level 1" autism - high functioning, "aspie," etc.
They're also profoundly gifted. Estimated IQ is 140+, greater than 3 standard deviations above average. They are terrifyingly smart.
They also have the same issues with executive functioning, probably due to their apocalyptic levels of ADHD because their EF improves on medication. I have to do the same routine when it comes to cleaning their room, folding laundry, emptying the dishwasher, etc - though they're getting better as they get older!

Executive function & intelligence are completely separate. All kids need to be taught EF skills - it's just that NT kids tend to pick up on those skills earlier and much easier. It's a brain wiring thing with ND kids, especially in autism & ADHD.

Your last sentence is spot on. Abbie's parents have never, ever maintained the routine and consistency needed to give Abbie the skills that would help her be her best - in any area of function or learning. They've completely failed her. They don't have the knowledge - or the humility to listen to and follow the experts who do have the knowledge - to give her even a basic framework for what EF skills she's capable of. They don't have the patience to break down/chunk tasks for her when needed, and they certainly don't have the patience to continue with step by step requests every single day, consistently, for however long it takes.

And, hey. Abbie also knows damn well if she throws a tantrum or refuses to "be compliant" with a request that they'll give in. That's on her parents' utter lack of consistency. They only thing they're consistent with is doing the wrong thing at every possible turn.

Executive Function & Self-Regulation

Executive function and self-regulation skills are the mental processes that enable us to plan, focus attention, remember, and juggle multiple tasks.

developingchild.harvard.edu

 

[HeyGuyth]

I swear, if they stuff their two very large dogs in the back seat next to a honking, wailing, thrashing Abbie again I WILL report them for animal cruelty. Those two dogs had NO space to stretch out and they were driving for fucking hours, along with Abbie and the noise she makes. Those dogs were fucking miserable being crammed into that back seat next to Abbie with ZERO space. They were also left in the truck in the Summer heat whilst these lard arses were stuffing their faces.

These two primitive halfwits don't give a fuck about anyone else and will do things for their own comfort and convenience. They were too cheap to board the dogs at that place they usually go to- despite all the fucking money they make scamming people. They can afford to board them at the kennel doggy daycare place, it's just they are too fucking CHEAP and would rather those two dogs suffer.

I love animals. Animal cruelty and neglect is just something that I can't ignore - I've lost a few "friends" over it but I don't give a fuck. Don't be a dick to animals.

 

[haleybowens]

Don't know if this has been posted before, but it popped up on my YT feed. Another delusional lie told by Asshat.

what pisses me off the most about his posts like this is that if you go back to the beginning of the channel there are tons of videos of her actually pouring food. She used to get everything together and then pour it into the bowl, even the milk, and then put everything up and carry the bowl to the table to eat it. And not like ridiculous jump cuts. You can see her do the whole process even with other foods. These people that comment that they’ve watched from the beginning and can see progress have to have some sort of mass amnesia. Lol. Every video is more ridiculous than the one before it.

 

[lizzielou]

He's getting fat rolls on the back of his neck. He is so gross.

View attachment 1056552

I actually think that Ass McAss Face has put on more weight in the last year- year and a half than Piggy has. He has no neck and his torso is massive. He just doesn’t have the tree trunk legs that piggy has.

In other news, I am finally testing negative on rapid tests as of yesterday afternoon. I’ll be free from isolation very soon after another negative test this afternoon. shhh technically I’m day early as current rules are a negative test on day 5 and 6 and I’m only day 5 now, but hey I’ll still have 2 negative tests 24 hours apart. For my sanity I need to leave the house, isolation living on your own is no fun at all. And as our government have been doing whatever the hell they want throughout the pandemic, throwing multiple parties, then leaving the house 12 hours early when I’ve tested negative isn’t all that bad!

 

[therealamylynn]

This my friends is a beauty guru.

#cuteanddainty
#105poundslostandfound

I think she's going for the Baby Jane Hudson look. Sorry Cilla, Bette Davis did it better.

 

[Whatsupwiththat]

My comment from the last thread. I thought it was worth reposting:
They have said several times that Abbie is at age 18-24 months and I have experience raising children so I believe this.
So would most people who pay attention to the way she behaves.
The Hambeasts are delusional to think Abbie can learn a job. How many 2 year olds hold jobs?
Get real.

I just left a comment on their vlog which I'm sure will get deleted saying the same thing. I have a very good friend who has guardianship over her niece who is 27. She is verbal and is at the capacity of a 6 yr old. She has a job coach twice a month for only about 2 hours. She has to constantly be refocused (she puts silverware together in a restaurant). Many times shift is cut short because she has bathroom incident. Employers are not always tolerant when this is the case. Again, her “employment” is literally 4 hours a month. The rest of the time she is in an adult daycare setting while my friend works. She is far more advanced than Abbie so I think they are putting too much hope into Abbie being gainfully employed. I usually don’t comment on his vlogs just on this site but had to. Everyone commenting is just blowing smoke up his butt saying they can’t wait to see Abbie in a career. They need to come back to reality. Sad situation but it was what they were dealt.

 

[therealamylynn]

He's getting fat rolls on the back of his neck. He is so gross.

Pig drinks vodka?




View attachment 1056549

Sshh. It's her boss babe go-go juice.

 

[Noir Fan]

Just wanted to tell you, all my Tattle friends, how much I appreciate reading your thoughts every day. This year, so far, has been rough. From my mom passing away in mid January, from having a hell of a time traveling for her funeral (cancelled flights, stuck in Detroit, huge winter storm, etc.), and a planned trip to California two weeks later, it has been a doozy.

I inherited my folk’s condo and it’s been a lot of work almost every day (with my dear husband’s help), going through mountains of items spanning 40 years, clothes, dishes, you name it. I now am almost through with the going through part, and now I have to find an organization to take most of the furniture - while following the condo’s rules. I plan to list the condo in mid-March (or sooner). Reading your funny and insightful comments after my workdays has been such a release. Thank you all!

 

[Lizaable90]

View attachment 1075458

I have never heard Priscilla ever call any of Isaiah’s (girl) friends “Sweet Girl,” any of her “Hon’s,” any of the workers (which could be construed as sexual harassment), or anyone other female she may come in contact with. So, Asa, that is a complete lie.

I have never heard Asa call Maverick “bro” either. He may have but I always see him call Maverick, Mav..

These are issues we have stated time and again. Priscilla definitely uses baby talk, which needs to go (as it isn’t appropriate) and definitely needs to speak to Abbie in age appropriate behavior. Even 18-24 month old children, don’t always like baby talk and it isn’t good for their development.

 

[CoffeeMomof2]

You are completely correct. A&P do NOT do the work required. They always rely on Abbie's teachers and therapists to do everything and then reap the benefit of the work that others have done. A&P don't seem to understand that it is SO important for them to really and truly carry on the work at home. Asshat talks a lot, including in the example you gave, but all that talking is just noise and is rarely if ever put into practice. I think A&P don't do the work because they are extremely lazy, they view it as too bothersome or inconvenient - it interrupts and takes away from what THEY want to be doing, and on some level, they simply don't CARE to do anything but the bare minimum.

In addition to the laziness and the.... I guess you could say "can't be bothered-ness," I think another major factor with the issue of them doing the bare minimum is them not actually taking advice from those with specialized knowledge on the topic seriously.

And this is almost entirely an Asa problem. How many times have we seen & commented about his inability to follow directions from doctors, therapists, educators, etc? How often have we seen him just blatantly talk right over Brandi as she's trying to yet again explain some sort of structure for Abbie? I mean, shit, remember at the beginning of the pandemic when JSA closed & the school provided structured curriculum tailored to her learning needs? That lasted, what, two days before he decided he knew better than the "best school for autism in the state" and tossed it all aside. Wasn't there something with the contractors doing the kitchen renovation too?

To him, and to people like him, he knows better than every expert out there. There's no collaboration, there's no middle ground. It's his way or no way.
We've all met someone like him, haven't we?
Remember way back in the old house, they laughed and joked about Asa not being able to "work for someone else" so he needs to be his own boss? People like that aren't funny or quirky. They're insufferable, miserable pricks. They're people who refuse to take direction, who refuse to follow procedure. No one can tell them what to do!! In fact, if someone tells them what to do, they'll do the exact opposite just for spite. It's honestly like Oppositional Defiant Disorder in an adult. He doesn't listen to bosses, he doesn't listen to therapists, he doesn't listen to the court telling him to pay child support, he doesn't listen to the law about not driving on a suspended license, he only listens to people who tell him what he wants to hear for his own gratification.

And Priscilla.
She's got so much wrong with her as it is, but with Priscilla I think it just comes down to Abbie being "Asa's kid." Beyond her natural state of sloth, beyond her lack of intelligence and lack of intellectual curiosity, she's angry and bitter and resentful about not having The Perfect Princess Daughter™ in the wake of Asa dicking down some other woman while she was alone and fat with a young child and no future. She thought she landed a dashing military man but he (left?) the Coast Guard and couldn't hold down a job and they were broke and she had no education and no money and she knew there was no way she'd find a rich man willing to take care of a fat single mother with no skills and no class. So when Asa came back, when she talked him into coming back, and she got him really locked in with another pregnancy, with the baby that would solve all their problems, with the little princess who she could dress like a doll and parade around and buy makeup and prom dresses and and and....
But no. She didn't get that. She got a child she's ashamed of, and while Asa's stuck with her now it's not for the reasons she'd hoped. So that's "Asa's kid." She sees no reason to expend any effort, even the most basic effort ("I called the school and told them we're comin' in hot!!") because she just doesn't care.

 

[Krishascooties]

Asa, you know Abbie is upset because you're telling us about it, but it doesn't cross your mind to stop filming her? Can you even imagine feeling upset and being filmed? I think Brandi sucks for letting Asa film their sessions.