We also had problems with our neighbours !!!! We also had a extension, both sides signed no problem.. we were always polite and I would always send Christmas cards and go out of my way to speak to people down the street. My teenagers made friends with the neighbours children and they would make cakes, go out into town, cinema and have sleep overs .... then they grew apart because they went to college and made different friends. My children still spoke via text. Then the whole family stopped speaking to us !!!! They see us and don’t make any eye contact !!!!! In fact I’ve seen one of them in the supermarket and they will turn around and walk away !!!!!Looking for some advice or someone to say something that will stop me dwelling on this. It’s getting us down to the point that we don’t see any option other than to move.
we moved into our house 7 years ago and bought an absolute wreck - the house had been lived in by an old lady who for the last few years she lived here was restricted to living downstairs. We have had to completely renovate and have also built an extension - all done above board. Neighbours we are not attached to opposed our planning permission but it went through as they had no valid grounds to oppose - ironically we have built exactly what they did 10 years previous. We advised that we were planning on doing work a year before it started and they were very nice at the time saying that they understood we needed space for our growing family, I told them an architect was coming to do some drawings and said that we would endeavour to keep it as stress free for them as possible. I could write pages and pages about the problems they caused during the build (at one point she phoned my employer and made up a false complaint about me) but at all stages we tried to rise above it, explain our situation calmly and clearly and consulted them when appropriate until they became too controlling for this to be possible. I was heavily pregnant at the time and them threatening injunctions etc was very upsetting and stressful. The neighbours the other side have always kept themselves to themselves, failed to engage in the party wall process at all and just pretend like we don’t exist. Sent a nice bottle of wine and chocolates over at the end of the work to say sorry for any disruption and it wasn’t even acknowledged.
Being ignored has been getting us down- especially at the end of 12 weeks of limited social contact with anyone so my husband and I discussed that we would adopt a ‘kill them with kindness approach’ continue to wave and say good morning etc. My husband has said hello this morning and was completely ignored.... it’s really getting me down - it upsets me that people have such strong negative feelings towards us but we don’t know why/ can’t do anything to try and explain our position.
We have two children and friends round occasionally but always try to be mindful of the neighbours and are as considerate as we can be - I ensure that the children don’t shout and scream in the garden and despite I am sure making a few naive errors (doing DIY on a weekend etc when we first moved in) have always tried to be as good neighbours as possible. Our adjoining neighbours have had a tough few years so I suspect that things that are in the grand scheme of things low level annoying to most, have perhaps been more irritating to themHowever our feeling is that we can’t let other people dictate how we live our lives, especially when we always endeavour to not upset people.
We are so upset by it we really see no option but to move, but I am not sure it’s the best decision for us at the moment. I wondered if anyone had some advice that could help us to get a thicker skin and learn to live with it. It just feels like such a toxic situation to be living through.
Then one day we were doing DIY and my neighbour on one side of us knocked and told us to stop !!!! I laughed thinking he was joking !!!! He came right up to my face and said !!!!!! Can you not do DIY at a reasonable hour !!!! It was 5pm and we were putting up a shelf !!!!! Which I would of understood if it was maybe 10pm.... I’ve never spoken to him since !!! He did apologise but to me it’s to late you don’t treat people like that....I use to be the same with the kids making noise telling them to stop shouting and be quiet ..... I don’t anymore.... I’ve lost all respect for the neighbour who shouted at me....and yes maybe I am selfish.... but there neighbours!!!!!
I was like you wanting to move but what happens if you move and you have the same thing... there just neighbours at the end of the day not friends !!!!! Also every Thursday when we clap for Carers those neighbours don’t come out and clap !!!!!! I’d rather keep my distance from those sort of people !!!!!! In our old area our neighborhood was great.... so just to show it’s not us and it’s not all people
with not having family either we would love some community spirit although cant see that happening where we live 
think them days are over its not like it was years ago plus I always think people who are super ignorant to the point of not saying hi are probably hiding alot 
don't take it personally its hard not to I know 
ignore them back and rise above it your too good for them by the sounds of it 
