coconochanel
VIP Member
Do people really care that much about neighbours? I mean yes its nice if they are friendly and want to speak, but if not fuck them I say (not literally) 
- Notice
WeepingWillow
Well-known member
I’ve been in a situation with neighbours too. I bought my house at aged 25 albeit with help from my parents, but I also worked many an overtime shift and agency all over the country to save up for it. I’ve slowly changed it from old fashioned to my own little haven.
a few years ago a couple moved in next to me and were horrid. Middle aged, weird and the first thing that was said to me was ‘is this your parents house’ I was like no, it’s mine. All trying to be nice etc.
then it was like I was a child. He parked his works van in front of my house constantly blocking access, would laugh when I said I couldn’t get in or out the drive. He Scratched my new car, made comments about me being inappropriately dressed in the garden (wearing a bikini on hot summer day) would bang on the adjoining walls to hush me (I was never loud. I often watched tv with subtitles just so I was quiet!) complained about me coming in late (I’d been on call for work at the hospital) and referred to me as a ‘Jezebel’!!
Anyways one night they had friends over and and party and it went on till about 3am. I called the police on them as I was up at 5 for work.
next morning I got up to beer cans, wine bottles, rubbish youname it all over my garden. I was fuming so I bagged it all up and emptied it all on their front door step, rang the doorbell repeatedly and when one of them opened the door told them they had lost this stuff (the rubbish) and that I had security footage of them doing this and would be taking it to the police as harassment and suing them for damages to my garden and mental health! I also said if his van blocked my drive again I’d get it towed.
didn’t hear a peep from them again.
funny thing is a few weeks ago they are out clapping for nhs heroes. I got a parcel from the neighbours at the other side with wine, bubble bath, choc and a voucher for a spa as thanks for being a frontline nhs nurse! They delivered this one Thursday night after the 8pm clap - mr and mrs torn face were fuming!! Hahaha fuck you dicks!!
a few years ago a couple moved in next to me and were horrid. Middle aged, weird and the first thing that was said to me was ‘is this your parents house’ I was like no, it’s mine. All trying to be nice etc.
then it was like I was a child. He parked his works van in front of my house constantly blocking access, would laugh when I said I couldn’t get in or out the drive. He Scratched my new car, made comments about me being inappropriately dressed in the garden (wearing a bikini on hot summer day) would bang on the adjoining walls to hush me (I was never loud. I often watched tv with subtitles just so I was quiet!) complained about me coming in late (I’d been on call for work at the hospital) and referred to me as a ‘Jezebel’!!
Anyways one night they had friends over and and party and it went on till about 3am. I called the police on them as I was up at 5 for work.
next morning I got up to beer cans, wine bottles, rubbish youname it all over my garden. I was fuming so I bagged it all up and emptied it all on their front door step, rang the doorbell repeatedly and when one of them opened the door told them they had lost this stuff (the rubbish) and that I had security footage of them doing this and would be taking it to the police as harassment and suing them for damages to my garden and mental health! I also said if his van blocked my drive again I’d get it towed.
didn’t hear a peep from them again.
funny thing is a few weeks ago they are out clapping for nhs heroes. I got a parcel from the neighbours at the other side with wine, bubble bath, choc and a voucher for a spa as thanks for being a frontline nhs nurse! They delivered this one Thursday night after the 8pm clap - mr and mrs torn face were fuming!! Hahaha fuck you dicks!!
hashbrown123
Well-known member
If kill them with kindness isn’t working. Play them at their own game. Totally ignore them, has your building work stopped or do you still need to discuss stuff with them?
Fuck them 
Dont move.
Our neighbours kid caused a serious amount of damage to my car with a golf club (accidental) and they refused to pay for it.
I go out and I'm like "hiya babez". When there are out and get a parcle, I wont take it. When their car wouldnt start and they ask if I had jump leads, I said no. I had some in the garage and had they to wait 3 hours for the AA. Play them at their own game.
Can be awkward during lockdown but things will be back to normal eventually.
Dont move. Our neighbours kid caused a serious amount of damage to my car with a golf club (accidental) and they refused to pay for it.
I go out and I'm like "hiya babez". When there are out and get a parcle, I wont take it. When their car wouldnt start and they ask if I had jump leads, I said no. I had some in the garage and had they to wait 3 hours for the AA. Play them at their own game.
Can be awkward during lockdown but things will be back to normal eventually.
Mumdrum
Active member
We have lived in our house 12 years our neighbours moved in a couple of years after us. We got along well, hello how are you, took in parcels etc. We were having an extension we are detached, they objected to our planning application and were refused and it went ahead. The wife, blocked access for deliveries with her car, was rude to myself and builders, it was super stressful now I'm just hi, at the most, I wont forget how she behaved but I wont move because of her and I would advise you to do the same. We had our garden landscaped it looks amazing during lockdown I have the byfolds open so she can see in! I think it's just jealousy. Enjoy your extension, some people and petty and jealousLooking for some advice or someone to say something that will stop me dwelling on this. It’s getting us down to the point that we don’t see any option other than to move.
we moved into our house 7 years ago and bought an absolute wreck - the house had been lived in by an old lady who for the last few years she lived here was restricted to living downstairs. We have had to completely renovate and have also built an extension - all done above board. Neighbours we are not attached to opposed our planning permission but it went through as they had no valid grounds to oppose - ironically we have built exactly what they did 10 years previous. We advised that we were planning on doing work a year before it started and they were very nice at the time saying that they understood we needed space for our growing family, I told them an architect was coming to do some drawings and said that we would endeavour to keep it as stress free for them as possible. I could write pages and pages about the problems they caused during the build (at one point she phoned my employer and made up a false complaint about me) but at all stages we tried to rise above it, explain our situation calmly and clearly and consulted them when appropriate until they became too controlling for this to be possible. I was heavily pregnant at the time and them threatening injunctions etc was very upsetting and stressful. The neighbours the other side have always kept themselves to themselves, failed to engage in the party wall process at all and just pretend like we don’t exist. Sent a nice bottle of wine and chocolates over at the end of the work to say sorry for any disruption and it wasn’t even acknowledged.
Being ignored has been getting us down- especially at the end of 12 weeks of limited social contact with anyone so my husband and I discussed that we would adopt a ‘kill them with kindness approach’ continue to wave and say good morning etc. My husband has said hello this morning and was completely ignored.... it’s really getting me down - it upsets me that people have such strong negative feelings towards us but we don’t know why/ can’t do anything to try and explain our position.
We have two children and friends round occasionally but always try to be mindful of the neighbours and are as considerate as we can be - I ensure that the children don’t shout and scream in the garden and despite I am sure making a few naive errors (doing DIY on a weekend etc when we first moved in) have always tried to be as good neighbours as possible. Our adjoining neighbours have had a tough few years so I suspect that things that are in the grand scheme of things low level annoying to most, have perhaps been more irritating to themHowever our feeling is that we can’t let other people dictate how we live our lives, especially when we always endeavour to not upset people.
We are so upset by it we really see no option but to move, but I am not sure it’s the best decision for us at the moment. I wondered if anyone had some advice that could help us to get a thicker skin and learn to live with it. It just feels like such a toxic situation to be living through.
Do people really care that much about neighbours? I mean yes its nice if they are friendly and want to speak, but if not fuck them I say (not literally)
coconochanel
VIP Member
This is another thing you can get too friendly neighbours. I prefer a 'hello' kind of neighbour, cant stand it when they pop round all the time.
Swipeuptobuy
VIP Member
My beautiful neighbours reported me to social services after a row over replacing my front fence .... ruined a summer holiday for us. They are blatantly not adhering to social distancing with non household members then going out to clap for the NHS !! When we are in the garden the wife is constantly in the back bedroom curtain twitching. I could write a book at their disgusting behaviour. It used to upset me but I’ve realised they are the ones with the problem and are ignorant twats. I haven’t spoken to them in years other than to politely ask her to stop staring at my children. I wouldn’t piss on them if they were on fire!! The other side are normal nice people !!
My mum and dad have a caravan which is stored away somewhere else but a few days before they go they take it to there house and park on there own private drive way .
there neighbour who had been lovely before took offence at this and ended up hitting my dad they had a scuffle and police were called . Both taken to the nearest police station . On release my mum went to pick my dad up and the neighbour asked for a lift home
there neighbour who had been lovely before took offence at this and ended up hitting my dad they had a scuffle and police were called . Both taken to the nearest police station . On release my mum went to pick my dad up and the neighbour asked for a lift home
Instagram Sham
Well-known member
I have spent another two days worrying about our situation - which actually in some ways seems not as bad as some scenarios described by others - I honestly feel for anyone who has these problems, it’s awful and I completely understand the panic when other neighbours also start ignoring you and you realise you have no control over the narrative of what people have been told about you. I feel like I had a bit of an epiphany last night though which might help us to move on (in case anyone cares, or it might help someone else)
On the day we moved into our house nearly 7 years ago my mum and dad were fixing a broken manhole cover on our driveway - we had completed on the property and were worried about someone falling down it - especially truth be told now we were liable!
The neighbour who in a very loose sense knew my mum came out and in conversation asked my mum straight out how we had afforded our house (we bought a semi, in Surrey at the ages of 23 and 29). My mum answered stupidly now in hindsight (but I think she was caught off guard by such a personal question) that my husband had had some inheritance. This is in part true - a not insignificant sum of money left to him with strict instructions it was to be spent on a house deposit - but whilst we were incredibly lucky to be in this situation we had both worked hard and spent very little money in the years leading up to buying the house to be able to afford what we set our hearts on - our mortgage meant that we were very careful with money and budgeting. I am sure that we were gossiped about and assumptions made very early on Fast forward to a Christmas party a few months later and our neighbour the other side turns up pissed and again, in hindsight asked a whole load of inappropriate and personal questions - we were naive at the time and didn’t think much of it, after all had probably had a few drinks ourselves - her questions were odd though and despite exchanging pleasantries have always behind closed doors known that both sides were odd. In the last two years as previously explained triggered by building work and then getting gradually worse the situation is now pretty dire - shouting over the fence at us ‘nobody here likes you, you should just move’ - this is from a mother of 4 children and the other side making eye contact with, but ignoring my husband saying hello. Although seemingly nothing, we knew the relationship with shouty mum of four family was over but thought the other side had adopted a ‘stay out of the politics approach - fair. When they ignored us so obviously it was very upsetting to think that perceptions of us had been shaped by lies - coupled with that other people we have never spoken to who seem friendly with other neighbours also being frosty when exchanging pleasantries. With limited social interaction over the last few months it upset me to think our neighbours think so little of us.
I suffer from crippling social anxiety, to the point I will over analyse every single tiny communication I have had with anyone who isn’t close family of friends throughout my day when I go to bed at night - I am plagued constantly by intrusive thoughts about all the reasons people dislike me and worry about making polite small talk with anyone in fear that I might say something that makes someone upset or is misconstrued. For a number of years now I have been upsetting myself every day mulling over what misdemeanour I have made to upset our neighbours - no more. I feel like this is aturning point. My conclusion I reached last night is thus - on day one,I suspect the narrative started being built that we were entitled rich kids, provided forby mum and dad and having everything handed to us on a plate. We are lucky enough to look young for our ages which I think probably didn’t help. Our mantra of buy once and buy well means that as we have done up the house we have paid for John Lewis to custom make curtains etc which we have scrimped and saved to be able to afford to make our home lovely - I am sure their van being parked outside and my penchant for ocado deliveries serves to reinforce their misconceptions about us all this sounds ridiculous typing it but I take solace from it because they have the problem not me. The fence desperately needs replacing and we haven’t done it - largely because I am dreading having to talk to the neighbour who has clearly been gossiping with the shouty nasty work phoning neighbour and now has also decided to be nasty to us. Again I’m sure this is spun to ‘bloody minted entitled rich kids, got enough money to do up the house, but not fix the fence that is rotting apart’ - no love. I’m not fixing your fence. You have been unapproachable, despite on several occasions me trying to be kind and open a dialogue. The only times you have spoken to us has been to have a go (we no doubt made errors when we moved in - we were once shouted at for doing some sanding on a Sunday - now are very mindful about DIY but we were young naive andboth working long hours in the week!) or ask inappropriate questions. I think it’s all down to jealously. Part of me wants them to know how much they have made us suffer and all the times I have cried over this, the fact they made my entire pregnancy stressful and that this has dominated my thoughts for the last two years, but then I remember they are different people to me. They will probably delight in the pain they have caused.
I can’t think of another 30 instances/comments etc which support this conclusion that we are seen to be entitled and I also know that the problem is that once someone has a belief it’s very hard to change nor is it my job too. Whilst we live comfortably and have a decent income between us, we are by no means loaded - I suppose this is relative though and you don’t know other people’s struggles All our behaviour will now be shoehorned into this narrative. I used to fantasise about having the opportunity to set them straight and point out their misconceptions, but everyone’s responses on here have made me reialise that I don’t need to do that, they have the problem, not us and i can’t waste another day of my life worrying about it. Karma comes around and all I can do is continue to teach my children the importance of being kind and non judgemental.
This is all very boring, but it’s been cathartic so thank you so much to all those who offered advice. To those still struggling - don’t be a victim. Speak to the police and the council. Make records of problems and don’t beat yourself up about it. Nobody has the right to make you feel uncomfortable in your own home.
On the day we moved into our house nearly 7 years ago my mum and dad were fixing a broken manhole cover on our driveway - we had completed on the property and were worried about someone falling down it - especially truth be told now we were liable!
The neighbour who in a very loose sense knew my mum came out and in conversation asked my mum straight out how we had afforded our house (we bought a semi, in Surrey at the ages of 23 and 29). My mum answered stupidly now in hindsight (but I think she was caught off guard by such a personal question) that my husband had had some inheritance. This is in part true - a not insignificant sum of money left to him with strict instructions it was to be spent on a house deposit - but whilst we were incredibly lucky to be in this situation we had both worked hard and spent very little money in the years leading up to buying the house to be able to afford what we set our hearts on - our mortgage meant that we were very careful with money and budgeting. I am sure that we were gossiped about and assumptions made very early on Fast forward to a Christmas party a few months later and our neighbour the other side turns up pissed and again, in hindsight asked a whole load of inappropriate and personal questions - we were naive at the time and didn’t think much of it, after all had probably had a few drinks ourselves - her questions were odd though and despite exchanging pleasantries have always behind closed doors known that both sides were odd. In the last two years as previously explained triggered by building work and then getting gradually worse the situation is now pretty dire - shouting over the fence at us ‘nobody here likes you, you should just move’ - this is from a mother of 4 children and the other side making eye contact with, but ignoring my husband saying hello. Although seemingly nothing, we knew the relationship with shouty mum of four family was over but thought the other side had adopted a ‘stay out of the politics approach - fair. When they ignored us so obviously it was very upsetting to think that perceptions of us had been shaped by lies - coupled with that other people we have never spoken to who seem friendly with other neighbours also being frosty when exchanging pleasantries. With limited social interaction over the last few months it upset me to think our neighbours think so little of us.I suffer from crippling social anxiety, to the point I will over analyse every single tiny communication I have had with anyone who isn’t close family of friends throughout my day when I go to bed at night - I am plagued constantly by intrusive thoughts about all the reasons people dislike me and worry about making polite small talk with anyone in fear that I might say something that makes someone upset or is misconstrued. For a number of years now I have been upsetting myself every day mulling over what misdemeanour I have made to upset our neighbours - no more. I feel like this is aturning point. My conclusion I reached last night is thus - on day one,I suspect the narrative started being built that we were entitled rich kids, provided forby mum and dad and having everything handed to us on a plate. We are lucky enough to look young for our ages which I think probably didn’t help. Our mantra of buy once and buy well means that as we have done up the house we have paid for John Lewis to custom make curtains etc which we have scrimped and saved to be able to afford to make our home lovely - I am sure their van being parked outside and my penchant for ocado deliveries serves to reinforce their misconceptions about us
all this sounds ridiculous typing it but I take solace from it because they have the problem not me. The fence desperately needs replacing and we haven’t done it - largely because I am dreading having to talk to the neighbour who has clearly been gossiping with the shouty nasty work phoning neighbour and now has also decided to be nasty to us. Again I’m sure this is spun to ‘bloody minted entitled rich kids, got enough money to do up the house, but not fix the fence that is rotting apart’ - no love. I’m not fixing your fence. You have been unapproachable, despite on several occasions me trying to be kind and open a dialogue. The only times you have spoken to us has been to have a go (we no doubt made errors when we moved in - we were once shouted at for doing some sanding on a Sunday - now are very mindful about DIY but we were young naive andboth working long hours in the week!) or ask inappropriate questions. I think it’s all down to jealously. Part of me wants them to know how much they have made us suffer and all the times I have cried over this, the fact they made my entire pregnancy stressful and that this has dominated my thoughts for the last two years, but then I remember they are different people to me. They will probably delight in the pain they have caused. I can’t think of another 30 instances/comments etc which support this conclusion that we are seen to be entitled and I also know that the problem is that once someone has a belief it’s very hard to change nor is it my job too. Whilst we live comfortably and have a decent income between us, we are by no means loaded - I suppose this is relative though and you don’t know other people’s struggles
All our behaviour will now be shoehorned into this narrative. I used to fantasise about having the opportunity to set them straight and point out their misconceptions, but everyone’s responses on here have made me reialise that I don’t need to do that, they have the problem, not us and i can’t waste another day of my life worrying about it. Karma comes around and all I can do is continue to teach my children the importance of being kind and non judgemental.This is all very boring, but it’s been cathartic so thank you so much to all those who offered advice. To those still struggling - don’t be a victim. Speak to the police and the council. Make records of problems and don’t beat yourself up about it. Nobody has the right to make you feel uncomfortable in your own home.
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Instagram Sham
Well-known member
Looking for some advice or someone to say something that will stop me dwelling on this. It’s getting us down to the point that we don’t see any option other than to move.
we moved into our house 7 years ago and bought an absolute wreck - the house had been lived in by an old lady who for the last few years she lived here was restricted to living downstairs. We have had to completely renovate and have also built an extension - all done above board. Neighbours we are not attached to opposed our planning permission but it went through as they had no valid grounds to oppose - ironically we have built exactly what they did 10 years previous. We advised that we were planning on doing work a year before it started and they were very nice at the time saying that they understood we needed space for our growing family, I told them an architect was coming to do some drawings and said that we would endeavour to keep it as stress free for them as possible. I could write pages and pages about the problems they caused during the build (at one point she phoned my employer and made up a false complaint about me) but at all stages we tried to rise above it, explain our situation calmly and clearly and consulted them when appropriate until they became too controlling for this to be possible. I was heavily pregnant at the time and them threatening injunctions etc was very upsetting and stressful. The neighbours the other side have always kept themselves to themselves, failed to engage in the party wall process at all and just pretend like we don’t exist. Sent a nice bottle of wine and chocolates over at the end of the work to say sorry for any disruption and it wasn’t even acknowledged.
Being ignored has been getting us down- especially at the end of 12 weeks of limited social contact with anyone so my husband and I discussed that we would adopt a ‘kill them with kindness approach’ continue to wave and say good morning etc. My husband has said hello this morning and was completely ignored.... it’s really getting me down - it upsets me that people have such strong negative feelings towards us but we don’t know why/ can’t do anything to try and explain our position.
We have two children and friends round occasionally but always try to be mindful of the neighbours and are as considerate as we can be - I ensure that the children don’t shout and scream in the garden and despite I am sure making a few naive errors (doing DIY on a weekend etc when we first moved in) have always tried to be as good neighbours as possible. Our adjoining neighbours have had a tough few years so I suspect that things that are in the grand scheme of things low level annoying to most, have perhaps been more irritating to them However our feeling is that we can’t let other people dictate how we live our lives, especially when we always endeavour to not upset people.
We are so upset by it we really see no option but to move, but I am not sure it’s the best decision for us at the moment. I wondered if anyone had some advice that could help us to get a thicker skin and learn to live with it. It just feels like such a toxic situation to be living through.
we moved into our house 7 years ago and bought an absolute wreck - the house had been lived in by an old lady who for the last few years she lived here was restricted to living downstairs. We have had to completely renovate and have also built an extension - all done above board. Neighbours we are not attached to opposed our planning permission but it went through as they had no valid grounds to oppose - ironically we have built exactly what they did 10 years previous. We advised that we were planning on doing work a year before it started and they were very nice at the time saying that they understood we needed space for our growing family, I told them an architect was coming to do some drawings and said that we would endeavour to keep it as stress free for them as possible. I could write pages and pages about the problems they caused during the build (at one point she phoned my employer and made up a false complaint about me) but at all stages we tried to rise above it, explain our situation calmly and clearly and consulted them when appropriate until they became too controlling for this to be possible. I was heavily pregnant at the time and them threatening injunctions etc was very upsetting and stressful. The neighbours the other side have always kept themselves to themselves, failed to engage in the party wall process at all and just pretend like we don’t exist. Sent a nice bottle of wine and chocolates over at the end of the work to say sorry for any disruption and it wasn’t even acknowledged.
Being ignored has been getting us down- especially at the end of 12 weeks of limited social contact with anyone so my husband and I discussed that we would adopt a ‘kill them with kindness approach’ continue to wave and say good morning etc. My husband has said hello this morning and was completely ignored.... it’s really getting me down - it upsets me that people have such strong negative feelings towards us but we don’t know why/ can’t do anything to try and explain our position.
We have two children and friends round occasionally but always try to be mindful of the neighbours and are as considerate as we can be - I ensure that the children don’t shout and scream in the garden and despite I am sure making a few naive errors (doing DIY on a weekend etc when we first moved in) have always tried to be as good neighbours as possible. Our adjoining neighbours have had a tough few years so I suspect that things that are in the grand scheme of things low level annoying to most, have perhaps been more irritating to them
However our feeling is that we can’t let other people dictate how we live our lives, especially when we always endeavour to not upset people.We are so upset by it we really see no option but to move, but I am not sure it’s the best decision for us at the moment. I wondered if anyone had some advice that could help us to get a thicker skin and learn to live with it. It just feels like such a toxic situation to be living through.
bellinibobble
VIP Member
These comments have made me feel a lot better about my situation now. I will happily go on not speaking to my neighbours now haha.
Instagram Sham
Well-known member
Stopped a year ago. To be honest I just think I need to grow a thicker skin. I get quite socially anxious and so overthink even simple social interactions so this is a nightmare situation for me because I hugely overthink what we have done to upset people and then invariably get angry when I come to the same conclusion that we really haven’t done anything wrong
I wish there was an easier way to grow a thicker skin!
AngryBird101
VIP Member
I agree with some on here that you should NEVER EVER get matey with the neighbours, hi and bye is enough, I once did and I’ve now moved!!
I try and think of neighbourly relations like a professional relationship.
If you have a boss who you get on with really well and you end up being mates - bonus!
but if your boss is just polite and says hi now and then but keeps things professional - also fine!
You wouldn’t move jobs just cos your boss didn’t wanna be your mate and nor should you think of your neighbourly relationship as anything other than coincidental - you happen to live near each other and that’s literally the only reason you know each other. Neither of you owes each other anything. Keep it polite and professional. If they get nasty that’s a different story, but honestly just think of them as colleagues and help I promise
If you have a boss who you get on with really well and you end up being mates - bonus!
but if your boss is just polite and says hi now and then but keeps things professional - also fine!
You wouldn’t move jobs just cos your boss didn’t wanna be your mate and nor should you think of your neighbourly relationship as anything other than coincidental - you happen to live near each other and that’s literally the only reason you know each other. Neither of you owes each other anything. Keep it polite and professional. If they get nasty that’s a different story, but honestly just think of them as colleagues and help I promise
Hereforthehottea
VIP Member
I’m so glad I found this thread! I’m so sad for the posters who have nightmare neighbours.
I’m lying here shaking, dry mouth, very bad tension headache, on the verge of a panic attack because of my neighbours. I no longer feel safe in my own home and I can’t sleep until they do and even then I’m awake worrying. Why are some adults so vile?!
I’m lying here shaking, dry mouth, very bad tension headache, on the verge of a panic attack because of my neighbours. I no longer feel safe in my own home and I can’t sleep until they do and even then I’m awake worrying. Why are some adults so vile?!
bellinibobble
VIP Member
I know how you feel. We had fairly friendly neighbours when we first moved in, then came the odd jokey comment about DIY noise when we started our renovations. We had a big job done and they were annoyed about the noise so I went round to apologise with chocolates etc. They don’t really talk to us now unless we’re leaving or entering our houses at the same time, and during lockdown when we’ve been in the garden a lot, it’s made things feel quite awkward.
Like you this is probably me feeling anxious and overthinking it, but it is a shame. Surely people can expect a bit of DIY when houses haven’t been touched for 15 years ish I think some of it is jealousy and nosiness, our family member did the big job last year and three of our neighbours asked for a quote but none of them have maintained the exterior of their house for years or had anything done since. I think they asked purely to find out what we paid for it, which funnily enough was less than usual because we got mates rates 
My next house will be detached and ritual I swear.
Like you this is probably me feeling anxious and overthinking it, but it is a shame. Surely people can expect a bit of DIY when houses haven’t been touched for 15 years ish
I think some of it is jealousy and nosiness, our family member did the big job last year and three of our neighbours asked for a quote but none of them have maintained the exterior of their house for years or had anything done since. I think they asked purely to find out what we paid for it, which funnily enough was less than usual because we got mates rates My next house will be detached and ritual I swear.Raininvain
VIP Member
You just have to ignore them and enjoy your home and your family.At the end of the day they are nothing to do with you.
We ignore one side who are very elderly pensioners, the old man started screaming and swearing at me when I was gardening/having a small garden fire twice.I think he has some type of dementia that they cover up. I had to get the PCSO's to talk to them in the end.Other problems were their family parking on my drive, its not a shared drive either, and the woman coming round all the time to talk about her families health problems for hours on an end. It was too much and I found them really overbearing.I'm not getting in that situation with neighbours again, its just going to be hi and bye.
The other side we don't see apart from when they are sunbathing naked in the back garden
We ignore one side who are very elderly pensioners, the old man started screaming and swearing at me when I was gardening/having a small garden fire twice.I think he has some type of dementia that they cover up. I had to get the PCSO's to talk to them in the end.Other problems were their family parking on my drive, its not a shared drive either, and the woman coming round all the time to talk about her families health problems for hours on an end. It was too much and I found them really overbearing.I'm not getting in that situation with neighbours again, its just going to be hi and bye.
The other side we don't see apart from when they are sunbathing naked in the back garden
Hereforthehottea
VIP Member
Thanks for the reply. Very long story short, but all was fine until about a year ago our flat (owned) started to smell of cannabis. A lot. Then a couple of month later, flat below (also owned) started to have ‘gatherings’ several nights a week, until the early hours (sometimes 5 or 6 am!) The music would blare from just after tea time all night, our flat would stink of weed and we could actually see smoke, mens loud voices would boom so we couldn’t relax/ hear our tv, lots of banging and laughing etc. We Stupidly put up with it Thinking it would stop. Then after many days of going to work on zero sleep, starting texting polite please can you keep the noise down etc. It continued. We couldn’t even have visitors on a Saturday afternoon because of what was going on downstairs!What have they done to make you feel so unsafe?? It's horrible to feel like that in your own home
I actually spoke very very nicely to the perpetrator, gave examples of how it was affecting us. How tired we were, it was making us ill, I’d had my nephew round but had to take him home when he’d eaten his tea because he was so scared of what he thought were men fighting. My neighbour told me he didn’t care, didn’t give a F and to call the police and social services (they have a child!). Now they have turned all neighbours against us (no idea what they’ve told them!) Lockdown has been unbearable. They all sit and stare at us or call us vile names. They slam doors repeatedly at 3am, stomp across the floor on purpose and other immature behaviour. These are parents in their forties!!! Sorry to waffle on, there’s loads more but that’s enough to bore you I think! I really feel on the verge of a breakdown and my partner who has never suffered with mental health issues is also ill from it.
Justhereforthegoss
VIP Member
Feel so upset reading this and the original poster's story. 13 years ago when my husband and I moved into our first bought house together it ended up being a nightmare! Too much to go in to, but drugs, fights, parties, letting their 3 year old throw golf balls over the back fence to smash our windows....I fell pregnant and the stress was too much so I spoke to them. Very politely and was pretty much told to go fuck myself if I thought anything was going to change!
The last straw was we bought a brand new car and that night my wing mirror had been smashed off and the doors all keyed. When I was out looking at the damage, heavily pregnant crying my eyes out, 1 neighbour came out and started laughing hysterically. I knew it was them but had no proof.
Few months later with a newborn, it all continued. Probably even worse. I realised I couldn't raise a child there. We sold up quickly, lowering the price from what we had paid! Best decision ever! I felt so guilty at first thinking of the new owners, but about 3 weeks after we moved I had to go and collect a parcel that had been sent to my previous address and when I drove in the street I could my 2 nightmare neighbours standing in my old garden having a laugh with the new owner
turns out she was just like them! I parked on the street, opened my car door and the woman that bought my house chucked my parcel at me!! Not knowing if it was something breakable...they all thought this was hilarious!!I couldn't put up with it, so totally understand what you are going through. I was too embarrassed to have any friends or family over at our house incase they started something. I can only imagine how tough the lockdown with them has been
at least I could escape every day when I was going through hell. Hope things change for you, or you find a way out
