Looking for some advice or someone to say something that will stop me dwelling on this. It’s getting us down to the point that we don’t see any option other than to move.
we moved into our house 7 years ago and bought an absolute wreck - the house had been lived in by an old lady who for the last few years she lived here was restricted to living downstairs. We have had to completely renovate and have also built an extension - all done above board. Neighbours we are not attached to opposed our planning permission but it went through as they had no valid grounds to oppose - ironically we have built exactly what they did 10 years previous. We advised that we were planning on doing work a year before it started and they were very nice at the time saying that they understood we needed space for our growing family, I told them an architect was coming to do some drawings and said that we would endeavour to keep it as stress free for them as possible. I could write pages and pages about the problems they caused during the build (at one point she phoned my employer and made up a false complaint about me) but at all stages we tried to rise above it, explain our situation calmly and clearly and consulted them when appropriate until they became too controlling for this to be possible. I was heavily pregnant at the time and them threatening injunctions etc was very upsetting and stressful. The neighbours the other side have always kept themselves to themselves, failed to engage in the party wall process at all and just pretend like we don’t exist. Sent a nice bottle of wine and chocolates over at the end of the work to say sorry for any disruption and it wasn’t even acknowledged.
Being ignored has been getting us down- especially at the end of 12 weeks of limited social contact with anyone so my husband and I discussed that we would adopt a ‘kill them with kindness approach’ continue to wave and say good morning etc. My husband has said hello this morning and was completely ignored.... it’s really getting me down - it upsets me that people have such strong negative feelings towards us but we don’t know why/ can’t do anything to try and explain our position.
We have two children and friends round occasionally but always try to be mindful of the neighbours and are as considerate as we can be - I ensure that the children don’t shout and scream in the garden and despite I am sure making a few naive errors (doing DIY on a weekend etc when we first moved in) have always tried to be as good neighbours as possible. Our adjoining neighbours have had a tough few years so I suspect that things that are in the grand scheme of things low level annoying to most, have perhaps been more irritating to them
However our feeling is that we can’t let other people dictate how we live our lives, especially when we always endeavour to not upset people.
We are so upset by it we really see no option but to move, but I am not sure it’s the best decision for us at the moment. I wondered if anyone had some advice that could help us to get a thicker skin and learn to live with it. It just feels like such a toxic situation to be living through.
we moved into our house 7 years ago and bought an absolute wreck - the house had been lived in by an old lady who for the last few years she lived here was restricted to living downstairs. We have had to completely renovate and have also built an extension - all done above board. Neighbours we are not attached to opposed our planning permission but it went through as they had no valid grounds to oppose - ironically we have built exactly what they did 10 years previous. We advised that we were planning on doing work a year before it started and they were very nice at the time saying that they understood we needed space for our growing family, I told them an architect was coming to do some drawings and said that we would endeavour to keep it as stress free for them as possible. I could write pages and pages about the problems they caused during the build (at one point she phoned my employer and made up a false complaint about me) but at all stages we tried to rise above it, explain our situation calmly and clearly and consulted them when appropriate until they became too controlling for this to be possible. I was heavily pregnant at the time and them threatening injunctions etc was very upsetting and stressful. The neighbours the other side have always kept themselves to themselves, failed to engage in the party wall process at all and just pretend like we don’t exist. Sent a nice bottle of wine and chocolates over at the end of the work to say sorry for any disruption and it wasn’t even acknowledged.
Being ignored has been getting us down- especially at the end of 12 weeks of limited social contact with anyone so my husband and I discussed that we would adopt a ‘kill them with kindness approach’ continue to wave and say good morning etc. My husband has said hello this morning and was completely ignored.... it’s really getting me down - it upsets me that people have such strong negative feelings towards us but we don’t know why/ can’t do anything to try and explain our position.
We have two children and friends round occasionally but always try to be mindful of the neighbours and are as considerate as we can be - I ensure that the children don’t shout and scream in the garden and despite I am sure making a few naive errors (doing DIY on a weekend etc when we first moved in) have always tried to be as good neighbours as possible. Our adjoining neighbours have had a tough few years so I suspect that things that are in the grand scheme of things low level annoying to most, have perhaps been more irritating to them
However our feeling is that we can’t let other people dictate how we live our lives, especially when we always endeavour to not upset people.We are so upset by it we really see no option but to move, but I am not sure it’s the best decision for us at the moment. I wondered if anyone had some advice that could help us to get a thicker skin and learn to live with it. It just feels like such a toxic situation to be living through.
My next house will be detached and ritual I swear.
