Sending love to you too vanillaI love this thread everyone on here is so kind and informative giving lots of excellent advice love and encouragement to those that need it so much better than any helpline that i have ever encountered you all deserve extra fakeyand and a kindness to each and everyone of you xx
Hope you're feeling better soon! Thanks for the reply. He came off the Sertraline on Friday as he just wasn't sleeping without a sleeping tablet and it seemed to correlate with him starting them. Although he's been having trouble getting comfy in bed too which hasn't helped so have got him a new pillow as well.Oh no what an awful thing that you're all going through. It must be so hard not knowing what to do for the best and the worry you are going through, aswell as having to look after your daughter. I've heard sertraline does get worse before it gets better so maybe give it a little longer and see if any improvements but that's not making you feel any better in the meantime is it. Has he had propanalol. I take that for anxiety which helps me but I suppose it's different for different people. Hope everything gets a bit better soon and he starts to pick up and feel more himself.
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Sorry I try to keep up with this thread but hardly find time too. I'm off work again and not sure if I'll be able to go back to the unit I work on. I keep getting an infection in my bowel and it's reared its ugly head again this evening. Will have to wait for test results but I know it's started again. I was feeling so well and happy in life and boom hits me again. So now I've got all the stress of what will happen with a job I love. Can they send me elsewhere in the hospital in a lesser risk area or could i lose my job. Sorry to vent..I know people have worse problems going on. Sorry I didn't mean to post this second part attached to your post @sarving2022.
I’d say to try the mertazapine. He doesn’t know until he tries how it’ll help him or not. From experience it was so good for me but I know that scary feeling of so I take it don’t I. It’s not and easy decision. But he’s not tied to this for life, all he had to do is try, if it doesn’t work for him again then there’s other options and he can stop it. Just try reassure him as much as you can, which I’m sure you are you seem so lovely and supportive. Google is the worst to self diagnose, easier said than done as I’ve googled before and went into panic mode but try get him to not look at things that’s worrying him and instead ask the professionals any questions he may have. Sending you both love and hope he finds some relief soonHope you're feeling better soon! Thanks for the reply. He came off the Sertraline on Friday as he just wasn't sleeping without a sleeping tablet and it seemed to correlate with him starting them. Although he's been having trouble getting comfy in bed too which hasn't helped so have got him a new pillow as well.
He has just picked up a prescription of Mitrazapine to try but is second guessing himself now. He's still so tired and drained and feels a bit overwhelmed about what to do for the best. I feel he needs to try as they could really help. Think he keeps googling things which doesn't help.
He did get some propanol originally but he hasn't had too many physical anxiety symptoms. More just the racing/intrusive thoughts so he didn't stick with them.
I did say did he want to try CBD oil instead first but he didn't seem keen as it would take a day or two to get here and is so worried about sleeping tonight.
Thanks Stargirl. He took it. I said he had to at least try. He did feel sleepy at first but then he had to pee about 3 times which woke him up again. Then he just couldn't seem to nod off again. Keeps saying his neck can't get comfortable. Don't think the new pillow helped. Also the bloody cat keeps meowing at the moment as well which doesn't help either. He's a house cat so can't do much with him. I went in the spare room at 3am so I could try and get some sleep although still woke up every couple of hours.Rip Nicola, such a sad outcome
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I’d say to try the mertazapine. He doesn’t know until he tries how it’ll help him or not. From experience it was so good for me but I know that scary feeling of so I take it don’t I. It’s not and easy decision. But he’s not tied to this for life, all he had to do is try, if it doesn’t work for him again then there’s other options and he can stop it. Just try reassure him as much as you can, which I’m sure you are you seem so lovely and supportive. Google is the worst to self diagnose, easier said than done as I’ve googled before and went into panic mode but try get him to not look at things that’s worrying him and instead ask the professionals any questions he may have. Sending you both love and hope he finds some relief soon
Oh bless him. It’s such a difficult situation to be in and I completely understand your feelings. It’s hard knowing what’s best to do, no one can predict one day to the next and it’s so hard when your normal support network is busy and can’t help out. At the end of the day, work can wait, you need to put yourself and your husband first and if that means staying home to have your daughter tomorrow then I’m sure work will understand. Hopefully if he sticks at the mertazepine for a few days he’ll notice the effects and start sleeping a lot better and then he can think more rational about longer term plan. It’s hard for anyone to make decisions when tired let alone someone who’s struggling to control their own emotions and thoughts. Stay strong my lovely, I know the impact it can have on you loving someone who’s struggling. You’re doing an amazing job and should be very proud of yourself for supporting your husbandThanks Stargirl. He took it. I said he had to at least try. He did feel sleepy at first but then he had to pee about 3 times which woke him up again. Then he just couldn't seem to nod off again. Keeps saying his neck can't get comfortable. Don't think the new pillow helped. Also the bloody cat keeps meowing at the moment as well which doesn't help either. He's a house cat so can't do much with him. I went in the spare room at 3am so I could try and get some sleep although still woke up every couple of hours.
Just feels like groundhog Day at the moment. Keep hoping we'll have a turnaround but I know it will be slow going. It's half term and I took my daughter to my mum's overnight yesterday as I'm supposed to be working this week. I usually go into the office on a Monday and Wednesday but didn't go in yesterday again. This is the third week I haven't been in now. Just don't know what to do for the best at the moment. I Should go in tomorrow but then with hubby as he is I don't want to leave my daughter with him. He's so tired he's barely left the bedroom this last week. My mother in law normally helps out but she's having radiotherapy this week.
He's taken these two weeks off but I know he'll have to do something about work sooner rather than later so there's that added pressure. He is a self employed guitar teacher and I think a lot of people will be understanding but money will an issue eventually. And he's worried some will drop off. He's built up a great business over the years and he doesn't want lose it.
Thanks Stargirl. I wasn't sure if he should maybe try 7.5mg tonight as I read the lower dose can help sleep more. He had 15mg last night which is supposed to help. Maybe he just needs to keep at it. I think he'd just held out hope that it would knock him out as he feels he can't sleep without some kind of help at the moment. He feels quite drowsy this morning but just exhausted and said it's like he's wasting away as each day is a struggle feeling like this at the moment.Oh bless him. It’s such a difficult situation to be in and I completely understand your feelings. It’s hard knowing what’s best to do, no one can predict one day to the next and it’s so hard when your normal support network is busy and can’t help out. At the end of the day, work can wait, you need to put yourself and your husband first and if that means staying home to have your daughter tomorrow then I’m sure work will understand. Hopefully if he sticks at the mertazepine for a few days he’ll notice the effects and start sleeping a lot better and then he can think more rational about longer term plan. It’s hard for anyone to make decisions when tired let alone someone who’s struggling to control their own emotions and thoughts. Stay strong my lovely, I know the impact it can have on you loving someone who’s struggling. You’re doing an amazing job and should be very proud of yourself for supporting your husband
Just try remind him he’s only took one, it can take a while to kick in and work. It’s not an instant fix unfortunately as much as I wish it was. Maybe stick with 15 tonight and if that doesn’t work try cut down to half. Has he tried taking nytol or camomile tea with the medication at night? That might help him better to sleep if he’s taking both?Thanks Stargirl. I wasn't sure if he should maybe try 7.5mg tonight as I read the lower dose can help sleep more. He had 15mg last night which is supposed to help. Maybe he just needs to keep at it. I think he'd just held out hope that it would knock him out as he feels he can't sleep without some kind of help at the moment. He feels quite drowsy this morning but just exhausted and said it's like he's wasting away as each day is a struggle feeling like this at the moment.
I don't think he wants to take too many different things at the moment. He can't have camomile I don't think as it's high fodmap and he has IBS.Just try remind him he’s only took one, it can take a while to kick in and work. It’s not an instant fix unfortunately as much as I wish it was. Maybe stick with 15 tonight and if that doesn’t work try cut down to half. Has he tried taking nytol or camomile tea with the medication at night? That might help him better to sleep if he’s taking both?
I have ibs and I’ve been fine on the camomile tea but I know not everyone can handle it. Nytol is over the counter sleeping tablets so not as strong as prescribed but I know how he feels. I always like to take the minimal amount of tablets as possible. I find reading before bed often helps too. It distracts my mind and gets me sleepy so he could always try that if he’s into reading? There’s a book called reasons to stay alive by Matt Haig it’s a brilliant book if he’s wanting to read that. I was recommended it by my counsellor 4 years ago and it was life changing. Really opened my eyes and was nice to read about someone experiencing what I do and know it’s normal and nothing to be ashamed of. It helped me a lot to understand my brain and why I was feeling the way I was. I got it in a local book shop to be but It’s also on Amazon I believe so you should be able to get it in IrelandI don't think he wants to take too many different things at the moment. He can't have camomile I don't think as it's high fodmap and he has IBS.
Thanks. He was starting to read a little in the afternoons when he normally chills out between lessons but at the moment he's so tired he just can't seem to focus on anything.I have ibs and I’ve been fine on the camomile tea but I know not everyone can handle it. Nytol is over the counter sleeping tablets so not as strong as prescribed but I know how he feels. I always like to take the minimal amount of tablets as possible. I find reading before bed often helps too. It distracts my mind and gets me sleepy so he could always try that if he’s into reading? There’s a book called reasons to stay alive by Matt Haig it’s a brilliant book if he’s wanting to read that. I was recommended it by my counsellor 4 years ago and it was life changing. Really opened my eyes and was nice to read about someone experiencing what I do and know it’s normal and nothing to be ashamed of. It helped me a lot to understand my brain and why I was feeling the way I was. I got it in a local book shop to be but It’s also on Amazon I believe so you should be able to get it in Ireland
Oh bless him, I completely understand. I remember really trying and wanting to do things but my brain just wouldn’t allow meThanks. He was starting to read a little in the afternoons when he normally chills out between lessons but at the moment he's so tired he just can't seem to focus on anything.
Thank you. Me too! The longer he goes on the more he stresses about work and money.Oh bless him, I completely understand. I remember really trying and wanting to do things but my brain just wouldn’t allow meI really hope he feels better soon and you can both get some life back. Sending all my love
Oh bless him. It’s not easy at all but he needs to put his health first. I know financially it’s not easy but money can wait, his health can’t xThank you. Me too! The longer he goes on the more he stresses about work and money.
Keep trying to tell him that. Because he gave up a higher paid job to do this he took on more of the financial burden really so I wasn't affected too much but means he pays a lot of the bills etc from his money. We have some in savings though and if need be I have an ISA etc we could use. He could get a sick note and claim some money if need be I believe as well. He has got health insurance but not sure if he has to be off for a certain time before they start paying out. There's always options.Oh bless him. It’s not easy at all but he needs to put his health first. I know financially it’s not easy but money can wait, his health can’t x
Yeah I’m not sure how it all works but if she’s there’s options if needed. If he’s stressing over work and money it won’t help him get any better. He needs to think of himself and his health and put that First although I know that’s easier said than done xKeep trying to tell him that. Because he gave up a higher paid job to do this he took on more of the financial burden really so I wasn't affected too much but means he pays a lot of the bills etc from his money. We have some in savings though and if need be I have an ISA etc we could use. He could get a sick note and claim some money if need be I believe as well. He has got health insurance but not sure if he has to be off for a certain time before they start paying out. There's always options.
Royal Holloway University isn't in London Duchess. It's in Surrey and it's breathtaking. Holloway, London is a complete and utter shithole and famous for the women's prison (now shut down). You certainly wouldn't want to visit there!Holloway University looks absolutely incredible, the architecture my god we have nothing like that here, its incredible.
Ive never been to London, I will get there one day but I think id need a tour guide its so big!
Unfortunately, although you try your hardest to help some people unfortunately it can be too late. Having first-hand experience of watching somebody very close to me self-destruct and die because of alcohol, it is beyond horrific. You must put yourself and those boys first. Sending you all my love and prayers. XI married my (now) ex husband back in 1999 knowing he had issues around alcohol. We had 3 sons in quick succession & his dependence was becoming more clear to see. Eg bathing or reading stories to our little tots with the always ever present beer can.
For years I tried to desperately normalise this behaviour or kid myself I was imagining it.
It was only when I discovered he'd drunk drove 2 of our sons & belittled one of them for telling me that I had the utterly amazing light bulbmoment that it was game over, he's outta of here, divorce is a coming.
The painful reality of this year, finally after he played dice on his ever declining health, that he passed away. I have 3 young men (18, 19 & 21) to support through their mixture of shock, regret, anger & utter sadness.
I'm so angry that in his final years he couldn't step up & be the dad they so longed for. He remained as ever wrapped up in his own selfish world of needs, lack of foresight & what was important to him & not his 3 amazing sons.
oh yeah Holloway prisonRoyal Holloway University isn't in London Duchess. It's in Surrey and it's breathtaking. Holloway, London is a complete and utter shithole and famous for the women's prison (now shut down). You certainly wouldn't want to visit there!
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sorry @stargirl23 im a cunt and just take medication when I feel like, I know it’s wrong but …. sorry can’t be of any helpDoes anyone here take folic acid? If so can I ask when is it best to take it? I can’t get hold of my dr until next week and its emergency only today and it’s not an emergency.
I’ve tried taking with and without food, in the morning, before bed, with Lunch, after dinner etc and I don’t know when’s best so will be good to hear from someone else. At the moment it’s causing havoc with my ibs so want to take it at the best time whether that’s with or without food. I’ve noticed when I have lunch then take it within an hour I feel so so nauseous and get extremely bloated but I’ve read on nhs this is normal side effect so could be a coincidence it’s coinciding with when I eat.
any advice would be appreciated if anyone’s taking it. If not don’t worry I can contact gp next week
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