100%, I totally agree -- that "trauma" comment stood out to me as well. Estee and Niomi are clearly dealing with trauma and are very lost people with low self-esteem. To them, any male attention is considered "good" attention.Growing up with a father who didn’t meet your needs in childhood/growing up without a father can impact women so negatively, and create so many long term issues regarding attachment, mental health, self-esteem...
I think it's really telling that Estée herself uses the word trauma in the video announcing her engagement.
To me Estée seems to have a lot in common with Niomi Smart when it comes to relationships. It looks and sounds like they desperately need to be chosen by a man to feel validated at least, and finally get the attention they've always lacked.
Joe breaking their engagement was like one more 'abandonment' for Niomi.
As for Aslan, if Estée wanted him to 'choose her' and propose, no doubt the end of their relationship must have been quite traumatic for
her...
i only noticed that he had small hands, almost like a young teenage boy. Thin and small, not necessarily manly which I personally would expect from a man in his 30s? Maybe he's a lot younger than her, do we know his age?I'm starting to think all this time we thought she was the girlfriend project when in fact it's the guy whose the boyfriend project. I wonder if she made him change his style. In her engagement video on Tiktok he seems to be wearing beige birks, and a blue worker jacket like this one :
View attachment 2424410
Couldn't be more neo hispter, just like Estée likes them. I thought he was more of the geek type?
And in their house there doesn't seem to be any of his stuff either. I wouldn't be surprised if she's the one choosing the decoration and his "new" style to fit her aesthetic.
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What will come next first : new house or baby?
It's interesting that growing up without a father was traumatic for her, yet she's mentioned having a child alone, from a sperm donor.100%, I totally agree -- that "trauma" comment stood out to me as well. Estee and Niomi are clearly dealing with trauma and are very lost people with low self-esteem. To them, any male attention is considered "good" attention.
And what's so disturbing about both situations is Niomi and Estee both seem to be aware of how toxic it all is...but they don't seem to care. Niomi knows her fiancé is a misogynist, a fraud, and (probably?) involved in a cult...but she doesn't seem to care. Estee is fully aware that she forced her fiance into proposing and that this is all directly related to her "trauma"...but she doesn't seem to care.
But at the same time, it's hard to feel bad for Estee and Niomi because they are both extremely narcissistic (fueled by their insecurities), calculative, and entitled. And what does that say about them that they don't care about how they're impacting themselves and others? It's not good...
It's all a cycle of hurt-people-hurt-people. Just because they have been hurt, doesn't give them a free pass to cause damage elsewhere.
It's fascinating. They should do case studies on these two haha.
Exactly. But as I mentioned above, I think she didn't talk about her relationship before not cause she was trying to be 'private'. She didn't share it before (in my opinion) because she wasn't sure she was 'officially' his girlfriend until she got the ring. Now I think she feels "safe" to talk about the relationship.I love the irony that she's been so against sharing any relationship details for yearssss but is now going to milk the engagement for "content" lmfao
To bring another perspective, and I’ve seen this happen plenty, sometimes you think that and you wait and it never comes. More often than not in my experience, when a man drags his heels in proposing (beyond a reasonable amount of time given age and stage of life) there’s a reason and waiting two years just leaves you even more devastated if it ends. Why does someone need one more year to propose from the heart if they say they want to marry you? I think it’s far better to be single and “search again” than wait in hope for the wrong person who’s never going to propose willingly.I don't get the idea of an ultimatum.
If you say "propose to me or i break up til the end of 2023" f.e. you have to search again.
And then you rush and marry someone after 2 years and you also could have waited for a proposal "from heart" in that time with your ex.
Also, I think it shouldn't be a question if you want to marry or not or what's the idea of a marriage and how you image the rest of your life together.
I'm also "waiting" for a proposal, but the question is not "yes or no" but only "when". It's cleary to us that we want to get married someday and there where a few occasions that were perfect for a proposal (one month roadtrip to California where he lived for 2 years etc.) but it's fine. I know, that one day is gonna be the day. More important is all the time we will spend together afterwards.
Yeah. I get that. But in that case it sounds more like I said that there's the question "yes or no" and not "when".To bring another perspective, and I’ve seen this happen plenty, sometimes you think that and you wait and it never comes. More often than not in my experience, when a man drags his heels in proposing (beyond a reasonable amount of time given age and stage of life) there’s a reason and waiting two years just leaves you even more devastated if it ends. Why does someone need one more year to propose from the heart if they say they want to marry you? I think it’s far better to be single and “search again” than wait in hope for the wrong person who’s never going to propose willingly.
So true, I can relate to why someone might be hesitant about the whole concept for different reasons and not because they don't want to commit and be with someone.Yeah. I get that. But in that case it sounds more like I said that there's the question "yes or no" and not "when".
Also it's right that it shouldn't be about the "perfect timing" and occasion for a porposal. But sometimes it just doesn't feel right.
Stress, work, family problems etc. ... if i get married, I'd like to feel all good and try to concentrate on that and not on something else and sometimes it's not possible.
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