Got it!
Got it!Sent you something.
I just knew you'd come through.Thanks for the praise and the shout out! Am on it!
Thank you @Chita I'm honoured to have a mushy!That is GREAT point!
We had a death in the family while my Mum was still alive and we had to help with their funeral arrangements which led to a discussion about what we would want our own funerals to be like. I went home and planned mine. Ive left strict instructions.
When you are in grief, it is hard to arrange a funeral anyway, but its even harder if you don't know what sort of service or if they want religious or non religious etc etc.
So I was firm with my Mum and cajoled her into making a list of her choices.
Thank goodness i did because when she died suddenly without any prior warning or health issues and i found her dead in her home, I was REALLY relieved I'd got a list of her funeral wishes.
Her choices really surprised me and Id have got everything wrong without that list.
The conversation about making the list WAS hard, but my goodness, having the list made arranging the funeral so much less difficult.
And yes, ask about her childhood memories - so important - because those memories will help comfort you later.
@Miscanthus - great suggestions. I've nicked one of @freda19 's mushies to give you -
Somebody else who might be able to advise you is @AmaliaLanaI'm having issues with my accommodation. I posted about it, before but I was asked to change studio flats and floors in the same building.
The accommodation manager woman wanted me to come down yesterday, did,she was busy so I came back up. She sent me another email at night - I went down this morning.
They want me to move out of the building COMPLETELY by the 30th of september which IS the first that I'm hearing about it. I said it wouldn't be possible for me to move out by then. Another woman came in and started shouting at me that there were no exceptions. That I had to leave and be out by 12pm at the latest. I told her I was supposed to have my final university exam in two weeks during all of this .She said since I had already moved once it would be easy for me. When I asked if she could help me find a hotel she said I could do that myself.
I came back to my room and cried a whole lot.
I emailed the student office and asked for an extension to delay my final exam to the following year which they granted but it's still going to cost me money as i'm still a student but it's a reduced rate and not the whole tuition fee.
I feel like a complete and utter **** up.
(NOT in the UK).
Hiya. My issues were different, tho. I can only advise @rainbowlemon what @Poppea already said.Thank you @Chita I'm honoured to have a mushy!
Everything I post is coming from my own experiences. I hope I can help somebody.
Somebody else who might be able to advise you is @AmaliaLana
I know she's had accommodation issues in Germany too. I've asked her to pop over.
No, that was just some random guy at an ATM - the police knew who he was, but didn't have enough evidence.Sounds like you are on the right track to me.
If they deserted you at the exact time when you needed their support and friendship, then they were never your friends and you are better of with them out of your life.
You will triumph despite them and you will meet new friends who are better than them - but the main thing is, you have learned to manage/cope without them.
So bloody well done.
Your inner strength is seeing you through this.
Theres that old saying "you find out who your friends are" - and it is so true.
Snup 'em.
(SNUP = Serves No Useful Purpose)
Was that your first husband who did that, Tatty?
My goodness how awful.
You are amazing to have come through that.
Absolutely, you can't dwell upon the past - life is for the living xSorry - I re-read your post tatty and see you were mugged.
That is beyond horrible - but you have come through it.
The strength we find within is amazing isnt it? And sometimes, we didnt even know it was there - it just comes.
I'm sorry kitty but you are what we affectionately call round here "a wee shite".
Honestly, we can't take you anywhere without you kicking off.
Seriously though, unless you made it personal to a poster (or two) then no apology is needed. If you DID make it personal then apologise publicly and move on past it.
BUT, you need to make choices. You can't mix meds and drink or you're fucked. If you absolutely must use the meds for a long term medical issue then you need to either stop drinking totally, or at least restrict your drink intake. You are not a child and must know by now what your ceiling is re drink ... that place you arrive at where you don't give a shit what you say. You need to not go there.Limit yourself.
It's your choice but if people start hitting the report button you'll get banned and you obviously don't want that.
It's self control bubba, gotta use that or admin will boot you out and you've lost your little outlet.
Behave, and stay around. That's all you need to do.
Ah, fair weather friends are bastards. If you have issues then you need to look out for yourself and since they don't seem to want to be part of your limited life then return the favour and next time they want something from you let them go whistle. Make a nice polite excuse but don't be their lapdog that they can pick up when THEY chhose or need something.
Social media is a load of bollix. People exaggerate their lives on there trying to make everyone think their life is exciting. The girl who boasted of a brilliant Club night? She probably got ditched by her mates and had to walk home alone when they all pulled blokes, but she'll not admit that publicly(on SM).The woman with the caring loving husband who posts images of bouquets and soppy cards is probably shitting herself because she found dodgy texts on hubby's phone, but you'll never hear about it. Party happy people hide the bad stuff, they just do.
Honestly, so SO much of SM is lies, faking a wonderful life and good times. We're in a mess with covid and NOBODY is havinng a high old time no matter what they claim. Fakers.
They likely think your life is not exciting enough, which may be true, but take it from me, theirs is not all that they make out and you are the honest one.
Just be you and anyone worth bothering with will see your honesty and gravitate toward you in time. Things will get better, they generally do. But stop beating yourself up. Love yourself and care for yourself and be true to yourself.
Despite the title i'm surprised by how kind and supportive everyone has been.
Hi sorry for not updating sooner.Let us know the outcome @rainbowlemon
Thinking of you.
Hi sorry for not updating sooner.
I personally just feel worn out and don't feel like I have the energy to keep fighting anymore. New room doesn't feel like a home and I don't want to stay in my current location anymore.
I spent today going to the student office as soon as it opened in the morning and signed some papers for delaying my exam. Then I headed to the airport, as they were the only ones who could do a covid test without me needing to have pre-booked before. Going to wait 24 hours for my covid test results then just book a ticket to London + fill in the passenger locator form + buy a PCR test for days 2 & 8. Then I'm done.
I miss the days when you could just turn up and get a flight the next day if you needed it.
Hmm, since there's no sign of broken bones... and going by watching the gorgeous Noel Fitzpatrick that sounds like a non-connection between his brain and his foot muscles. So the signal is getting interupted. Neurological type of thing possibly?I've not been in here in awhile but I need to have a bit of a moan. Hope that's ok.
My stress levels are rising. I'm worried about one of my cats. He came home with on paw turned under making it look like it's broken. It isn't broken, he has no problem with us touching and manipulating the paw but he can't put it flat on the ground. He's moving on three paws and doing ok. He also looks really healthy. He isn't hiding away, he's got a very healthy appetite and his eyes and coat are fine. It's just the paw. So we have to get him to the vet. Which means hubby has to get him to the vet because I'm agrophobic, sigh. Luckily we qualify for the PDSA so will be contacting them today.
The other issue is that I have to give evidence against somebody at some point this year. I'm not allowed to talk about it which makes it harder. It's preying on my mind and I can't wait for it to be over and done with.
Okay, moan over. Feel free to ignore.
How are you doing?
Popping back. Maybe it’s hormoans, or maybe it’s the full moon, but today was a tough one. I’m so exhausted.
I've not been in here in awhile but I need to have a bit of a moan. Hope that's ok.
My stress levels are rising. I'm worried about one of my cats. He came home with on paw turned under making it look like it's broken. It isn't broken, he has no problem with us touching and manipulating the paw but he can't put it flat on the ground. He's moving on three paws and doing ok. He also looks really healthy. He isn't hiding away, he's got a very healthy appetite and his eyes and coat are fine. It's just the paw. So we have to get him to the vet. Which means hubby has to get him to the vet because I'm agrophobic, sigh. Luckily we qualify for the PDSA so will be contacting them today.
The other issue is that I have to give evidence against somebody at some point this year. I'm not allowed to talk about it which makes it harder. It's preying on my mind and I can't wait for it to be over and done with.
Okay, moan over. Feel free to ignore.
Hi. Long time lurker here, never wrote anything before. My mother language is not english, so please excuse my grammars.A lovely Tattler has mentioned this thread to me a little earlier, thought it might help..
Just found out that my beloved mum who's been battling various cancers has apparently 4 weeks left..
I just don't know what to do with myself, I've been expecting it for the last 10 years, especially as she was told she wouldn't live, every step of the way..
She turned 80 in April, but I'm not ready..
She's so frail, and I can see the drastic change in her these last couple of weeks.
She's scared, I'm scared..
She doesn't want to go in a hospice, she wants to stay at home..
All I do is cry
Hi. Long time lurker here, never wrote anything before. My mother language is not english, so please excuse my grammars.
I have just a few thoughts for you, and I hope they will help you a tiny little bit:
If it's possible, try to respect her wishes to stay home, if it's not possible perhaps you stll have time to find a nice hospice. The caretakers there are trained and most of them are lovely persons who want the best for the patients and their families.
Tell her everyday, how much you love her and what a wonderful mom she has been. Or just be with her as much as possible. Physical contact is at this stage very important, hold her hand, brush her hair, etc.
It's such a scary situation, if your mum is afraid try to let her talk about it, if she wants to. It's going to be hard for you to hear it, but believe me, it will be good for her to speak about that Angst aloud. Just be there for her.
I know this isn't for everybody, but if you can, try to find some information about the stages of grieving and dying. I know it sounds just awful, but knowledge will help you to be prepared, for you and for her.
And really BE there when you're with her. (No phone, no tattle..) Try to absorb those moments with her. Another lovely tattler said it before, ask her everything you always wanted to know. Make her remember her lovely times.
There's no way as a daughter or son to be prepared for that, and in my personal experience, there's also no real comfort, even after a long battle. But you learn to live with it, it just takes sometimes so much time.
I hope I have not offended you. I wrote this after my personal experience and preparing to volunteer in an hospice.
I wish you and your mum all the love in the world, and hopefully still lots of time together and pain-free.
Oh I forgot... cry, cry a lot... and now, tear-free if possible, go and hug your mum.
(Sorry for the long post)
Lovely post full of good advice, and your grammar is better than mine.Hi. Long time lurker here, never wrote anything before. My mother language is not english, so please excuse my grammars.
I have just a few thoughts for you, and I hope they will help you a tiny little bit:
If it's possible, try to respect her wishes to stay home, if it's not possible perhaps you stll have time to find a nice hospice. The caretakers there are trained and most of them are lovely persons who want the best for the patients and their families.
Tell her everyday, how much you love her and what a wonderful mom she has been. Or just be with her as much as possible. Physical contact is at this stage very important, hold her hand, brush her hair, etc.
It's such a scary situation, if your mum is afraid try to let her talk about it, if she wants to. It's going to be hard for you to hear it, but believe me, it will be good for her to speak about that Angst aloud. Just be there for her.
I know this isn't for everybody, but if you can, try to find some information about the stages of grieving and dying. I know it sounds just awful, but knowledge will help you to be prepared, for you and for her.
And really BE there when you're with her. (No phone, no tattle..) Try to absorb those moments with her. Another lovely tattler said it before, ask her everything you always wanted to know. Make her remember her lovely times.
There's no way as a daughter or son to be prepared for that, and in my personal experience, there's also no real comfort, even after a long battle. But you learn to live with it, it just takes sometimes so much time.
I hope I have not offended you. I wrote this after my personal experience and preparing to volunteer in an hospice.
I wish you and your mum all the love in the world, and hopefully still lots of time together and pain-free.
Oh I forgot... cry, cry a lot... and now, tear-free if possible, go and hug your mum.
(Sorry for the long post)
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