Escape into the Tea & Sympathy chat room #2

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That sounds exhausting! You're getting so much done even with all that therapy going on, I couldn't dream of doing 1/100th of it.

What sort of art exhibition are you doing? The new garden sounds exciting!
I am secretary of the local art society so on the committee, but I'm also an artist. I paint in acrylics and watercolours and also make fabric pictures. As well our art exhibition I was setting up today (not on my own I might add) I also have work in another exhibition. I also do craft fairs.
I moved house at the end of October because bit wanted more space and a "project". I might be regretting the latter! My second career is garden designer do my garden is very important to me. I've just had 4 weeks of hard landscaping work but pleased they finished before treatment started.
 
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The oldest son of your grandfather got out.
Is he still alive?
Could you run to him?
Might he help you?

Worth a try.

No no, the oldest son is the "patriarch" now since grandfather had passed - he's even worse than my grandfather. I can't even call him a bastard because he clearly was cast in the same mould This whole situation was his, his wife and DIL's (she's another Smegs, including making goo-goo eyes at her FIL) and my grandfather's planning and doing.

The younger uncle had gone abroad, but he joined my grandfather and elder uncle in trying to convince, then harassing us into complying with them. Unresolved daddy issues, I think. Plus he has cancer and I guess wanted our relatives to leave his children alone after he passed so he came to an agreement with them. He actually made the situation worse by provoking mum to start the whole conversation about finances in the first place - she was very happy to go along with whatever they used to command. He stirred shit up on both sides, then passed information on from mum to his brother and father, then became their flying monkey. Still acts innocent, but we know now
 
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I am so sorry to hear about your predicament although that word doesn't cover it at all. I am really at a loss as to what you say. The cultural stuff is a real barrier for you to have your own life. If and when your parents die, where does that leave you?
 
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I must have got confused then. I thought you said the sickly younger son who defended his mum had escaped abroad and everyone hates him now.

So he's now back from abroad and head of the family?
The cultural differences make it difficult to understand.

Im confused
Sorry couldn't be of any help.
Best of luck.
 
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Could you try and find yourself a husband so that you can get away, even if it's just a friendship marriage?
 
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Wow…. you have a lot going on🫣 Had candle lighting for you all day yesterday - Try to fit in some time to rest! Garden a great distraction - no strenuous stuff to do hopefully.

@ChaoticArtist I have no advice - sorry- hoping you get a solution
 
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Oh wow that's really amazing! You haven't shared your artwork in the H&M thread though?

How do the craft fairs go? I don't do a lot of them because of budget and time constraints, but they haven't gone very well for me so far. Would love your insights, please, if you ever have the time and inclination to share.

I can imagine with the house. Instagram reels make it all look so easy, but even DIYing small bits of furniture takes a lot of time and effort. Good luck with it!

The landscaping being done is a relief! Time to enjoy planting/watching them grow? My spring bulbs have failed (first attempt), but I've got some seedlings of flowers I'm growing for the first time, and daisies and larkspur are blooming for the first time, along with poppies. It's such a lovely stress-buster



Thank you

That's one of the main reasons I have massive panic attacks now. I try not to think about the future/that scenario. I've been trying to make friends at exhibitions so I could have a bit of a support system, but mum's there too so Maybe there will be some miracle and a lovely visitor will fall in love with my art and want me to marry her lovely, smart son who will help me sort things out Or there's always the ultimate escape route. Even if my relatives can buy their way out of jail, I can make sure to stress them out as I go.



Thank you, it really helped to have a conversation about this and just write it out, even if it's all anonymous I'm not feeling that isolated and like a volcano raring to spew lava, so that's a great and very necessary improvement As for practical help, I currently only lack a super-powerful lawyer who enjoys working pro bono, and listening ears, which you have provided very nicely

I know it's a very confusing situation and I usually feel quick icky talking about them so sometimes I'm not very clear either.

Mum's elder brother is the patriarch now. He and grandfather are/were abusive peas in a pod. He's the one troubling us and controlling everything now.

Mum is the middle child.

Her younger brother was sickly and went abroad. Used to defend his mother and sister (mum), especially since mum mostly raised him (that's why she trusted him and fought with my grandfather and elder uncle for him). He got sick, provoked and fanned the flames and caused the big confrontation which has led to the current situation. He had unresolved daddy issues and wants to protect his children from the narc relatives, so he sides with the elder brother and does whatever he says now. He came to India a couple of times (to convince us and for my grandfather's last rites), but mostly stirs shit from where he is settled abroad. He keeps complaining about how life abroad is so hectic, but actually appears to have too much time on his hands


Could you try and find yourself a husband so that you can get away, even if it's just a friendship marriage?

I tried. Mum ran them all off Wasn't allowed to date (still tried once but he was a bloody nympho gold-digger who cheated on my with multiple women, including his boss and his "best friend" - a wealthy man's promiscuous drugs-loving daughter, whom he later married. Last I heard, they were blaming me for their marital problems more than 10 years after he dumped me for her). Wasn't allowed to hang out with boy friends outside of college either.

I've also had a very weird thing with boy friends. Always had more boy friends than girls - and very good ones too. But they mostly ghosted me after getting girlfriends/fiancees/wives. A few told me they had a crush on me and offered a chance to elope - usually after their wedding dates had already been set. This was after years of telling me that I wasn't anything like what a man looked for in a girlfriend/wife.

Anyway, mum has been bugging me about those old boy friends lately, whether one might be interested still. They're all married or spinsters by choice now

I'd love a friend husband! Always wanted one! I've always wanted a partnership like Safiya and Tyler or Evan and Katelyn (I hope I've got their names right), or William and Catherine. Imagine if I married a milliner. My candles and his feathered hats

Unfortunately, after almost seven years (I think) of searching, I've only found Sparries Main problem with those is that my relatives could still implement their original plan and bribe/scare them into abusing me/allowing the relatives to continue the financial abuse. I need a William


@Doodlebug005, well wishes are all that's needed, thank you
 
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Thank you so much xx.
My second career was as a garden designer (first was in corporate comms) and I am obsessed with plants. Unfortunately I now have to dig the flower beds before I can plant! !
 
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@ChaoticArtist

I have read your posts on here, and feel so sad for you. The cultural difference is ridiculous. If anyone over here in the UK was treated the same way as you, they would almost be classed as slaves and those maltreating them would be arrested for theft and fraud. In the UK nobody, absolutely nobody can access anyone else's bank accounts and withdraw their money. Also bank staff cannot divulge finances of their customers to anyone.

I'm afraid I'm not being very useful to you. But I admire your upbeat posts on the H&M threads and I enjoy seeing pictures of your lovely work. Unfortunately, I don't have an answer for you. You have shocked me luvvy, I never knew this was happening. Chin up, we're always here for you.
 
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Thank you so much xx.
My second career was as a garden designer (first was in corporate comms) and I am obsessed with plants. Unfortunately I now have to dig the flower beds before I can plant! !
How are you doing after round 2?
 
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How are you doing after round 2?
Thank you for asking @Doodlebug005
I was feeling quite good after the second one ('just' chemo), and drove home (I did have someone with me). Then I had the shingles vaccine the following day (Friday), which gave me an achey arm, then yesterday felt a bit fluey, which wasn't great because I was doing a craft fair. I didn't sell anything so could have stayed in bed!
This morning I woke up with a spotty chin and I never have spots! Today I have been doing heavy garden work so tired now
 
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What's going on with your car?
It’s all still a mess! I’ve engaged a solicitor who has now sent a ‘letter before action’ and also my medical records to show I’ve required antidepressants and the amount I’m going bald from all this shit. Hopefully someone will listen! I think the worst thing is knowing that because we brought what we did, when we did and as part of my husbands retirement plan, we have to keep using them for servicing etc and I don’t want to!
 
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What dealership is it?

Have you tried contacting the CEO directly?
 
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Am glad 2nd one went off well - never had the shingles vaccine ( got shingles instead) didn’t know flu symptoms were a side effect of vac- but then you have a lot going on!!! Shame about the craft fair- do you have your stuff on etsy- my artist neighbour needs to get her stuff seen more- of course you were working like a lunatic in the garden- shur resting is over rated mind yourself for heavens sake! my second lot of seeds are peeping up in the polytunnel- first lot got munched by slugs
https://giphy.com/KUAlOknT189x55505y
 
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Love it!
I had to have the inert shingles vaccine, not the live one, and it's in 2 parts but I can have the next one in 2 months as I am now immunocompromised. Yippitydooda! Side effects are ugh, but better than the real thing. Sorry to hear you had it
Polytunnel eh? Sounds hard-core!
 
NEW THREAD HERE......

 
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