EmmyLou Loves #40 My life’s a mess, buy my body confidence dress, what size you’ll be

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Emmylou Loves #40 - My life’s a mess, buy my body confidence dress, what size you’ll be is anyone’s guess

Congratulations to @greacea for the thread title! You win a one on one branding session with Leah!

I’ll get the title fixed Fezzas I got too carried away!

@Sure…Media! pls do your thing
 
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New thread already? I’m sorry. I’ve been mad dog busy travelling with work. I only just got off the plane. I haven’t been vibing with humour this week. I feel like a need to move to a visual platform with my humour. The chair leg says it all. Let it all hang out.

“Mumma lovin had me a blast
Mumma lovin happened so fast”

Ya girl has been on the dating merry go round! Innuendos for all *giggles* We’re safe in the knowledge the closest thing she’ll get to a root is at the bottom of the weeds in her garden. We may soon get to hear about T. Is it the real thing? Does their love burn with the fiery intensity of a urinary tract infection?.

Munchausen booked herself in for a sneaky lap band removal. When asked if she could size down on the hospital gown and the ‘ladies’ obliged, in exchange for a face mask. Performing her trademark Emmylou sultry butt wiggle in to theatre, the anaesthesiologist gave the theatre team a lil something to get through the next couple of hours.

After waking up and taking her singing lessons, the model patient called up the ABC talkback line. Barricading herself in the hospital chapel she waited on hold over an hour for Raf Epstein to take her call before hanging up and getting a hankering for 2 minute noodles. Shame. She was hoping to sing A Whole New World with him, even if she does sound like a cow giving birth to farm equipment.

Eliza Donothing launched a new dress and tells us we can wear it to the races. Blubbergastered, we’ve all put in our preorders for Christmas. I’m gonna look like a stuffed turkey. Like my 10 year old at the toilet bowl, EL misses the target every time. I hope Bec Judd returns the favour and models it though. Even Brighton Salvos will refuse to take it. Sorry Preston, it’s your turn.

Swollen and unable to help move the warehouse across town, our girl did all the right things for recovery. Like bounce on the trampoline. Trying to get a summer body since two winters ago is hard work.

Somewhere is South Melbourne, an ex boy bander shed a tear. Relief that she’ll be frequenting some unsuspecting cafe in Collingwood instead.
 

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THIS THREAD NAME IS SO FUCKING GAWJUS HEHEHEHEHEHEE I LOVE IT!! IT'S BEWDIFUL!!!

Seriously though, it's a ripper!
 
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Always a highlight of a new thread Sure
 
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I even got the chair leg humour
Blubbergastered needs to be added to our dicketionary
Highlighted my other favourite bits
 
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Mummas so exhausted from watching everyone do all the work today, she's forgot what day it is. Imagine working as hard as she does, no wonder the poor pet is confused And did she just push the oil aside to get a spoonful of bewdiful satay sauce?
 
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She’s fucking with me. Doesn’t she know fezza bitch got the Rona?? No subtitles so had to make my own:

and the obligatory response:
 
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Mmmmmmm delicious! Canned satay sauce oily slop. Me no understanding why baby girl no wanna eat!!!

Thank you for the re-crap @Sure…Media! On point as usual! Sorry about the title it was too long
 
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Mmmmmmm delicious! Canned satay sauce oily slop. Me no understanding why baby girl no wanna eat!!! View attachment 1539257


Thank you for the re-crap @Sure…Media! On point as usual! Sorry about the title it was too long
Oh I'm not going to add much to the can satay sauce then proceeds to list off like 10 ingredients she's going to add to said canned sauce
Why bother with the sauce, she added enough flavours already. Salt on salt on salt on oil
 
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I give my daughter plain shredded chicken - she would freak at a whole thigh fillet and turn her nose at the oily satay sauce. None of ELL’s meals are very kid friendly. I think ALove was the cook actually.
 
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So duck and rice last night for dinner, ok I’ll make chicken and rice tonight!!
 
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Fuck. Me. Dead.
 
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