Emmylou Loves #27 Buy my clothes and eat my cheese, line my pockets and catch my disease.

[Michy02]

Why on earth does booking a hire riding “experience” making her cry. She seriously loves to pile on the crocodile tears!

 

[cheezel flaps]

I thought the Bali trip tipped me over the edge, but maybe it’s actually the caption on this photo .

DoN’t wAiT, dOn’T tHiNk, dO wHaT yOu wAnT.

Such inspiration.


Fuck. Right. Off. EmmyLou. Sometimes we do have to wait and do have to think because we have kids and actually consider other people besides ourselves.

I could go on with my rant but she’s not even worth it.

The hot springs are foul later in the day, you can see all the oils things floating on top from moisturiser people have worn, and there’s usually a few random hairs floating around. Would hate to be in one with her. Couple of crunchy specks of dandruff and a bit of fungus to mix things up.

 

[YellowFingerDustforDays]

I have a 14 yo who plays basketball, and he would find a Tiffany basketball (real or fake) absolutely cringeworthy in the extreme. He will sometimes ask me shoot hoops with him in the driveway because I used to play basketball myself as a teen, but only if he has no other options and there is no chance that any of his mates will accidentally find out Also in my experience, teen boys are hugely into Instagram, and if Sage's mates saw any of the shit she posts, he'd be copping an absolute caning, poor bloody kid.

 

[AlovesnewFezza]

I’ve had a little look over at Constance Hall who also had a warehouse sale this weekend in Melbourne. In direct contrast she had loads of customers, heaters to keep customers warm and not a cheese wheel in sight. Unfortunately I did spot one lost confused victim in a ZM faux fur vest.

 

[weseeyou]

For someone that spends so much time at the markets she seems to buy all her meat from Coles/Woolworths. Are there butchers at South Melbourne market?
It’s been said before but she must spend 90% of her time thinking about food, preparing food or shopping for food. Who has that kind of time. The other 10% of course is spent when fucking herself through Insta.

 

[SnarkyTart]

Oh wow, sorry about these typos

She makes us all so irate we can barely type! That's a bargain lettuce by the way

 

[party bag]

The milk soaked bread thing is a GREAT tip. But the way Emmylouoneword did it isn't it. A) you're not meant to use crusts or ends and B) it's a little bit of milk to make it soft not milk soup with bread croutons. Recipe Tin Eats has an incredible meatball recipe and explains the method beautifully. I remember calling out the fake Stella jumper on GOMI and Alice took the post down lol. A fake Tiffany ball reeks of desperation, nobody needs a Tiffany basketball.

 

[Just touching base]

The words busy day and hairdresser do not belong in the same sentence Who on earth has time to get their regrowth fixed on a Tuesday? No one with a proper job or any responsibilities, that’s who. Piss off EL.

 

[screenfreelookatme]

Do we think Evie has given up already and gone to live with Suelynn? I know they said she’d be spending time with both, but I know where I’d rather be

 

[Gomi goner]

Such a fancy spread... terracotta pot plant saucers, much special.

 

[SnarkyTart]

I think the 200 registered people and only 20 showing up is a sad insight into how uncomfy her fans feel out and about and why she resonates with them so well.

Shopping can be a demoralising activity even when you’re not plus sized. I imagine a lot of her community avoid doing it. Not knowing their size, having put on weight since last shopping, mirrors everywhere bla bla. The idea of a warehouse sale of clothes owned by a woman that appears to be similarly sized to them was probably hugely appealing. But between registering and attending, some anxiety probably crept in. Some reflecting on EL’s clothing choices and going “ok actually I don’t think I’d wear any of the stuff she wears” so they didn’t show up.

I think I can understand the reason why certain demographics feel a sense of comfort from her, and I think it sucks that they don’t get that same vibe from the world generally. It would be way nicer that heavier middle aged women found peace and felt celebrated in all spaces rather than giving their hard earned to this manipulative piece of shit.

Every single post you make is so worthy and valid. You are either searingly witty or deeply insightful.

Just an appreciative fangirl, nothing to see here

Carry on, cheese connoisseurs

View attachment 1351394

OMG

I think we're gonna get along just fine @Messychaotic - one word welcome to Tattle!

 

[Happy Friyay]

Come on EL. We have already pointed out once that the 18 November is not a Sunday. Hope those glossy brochures have the correct dates.

 

[Don't_ask_what_I_drive]

I don’t understand how she can be spruking these trips still with inflation and interest rates just going up and up. Find some other way to grift your tribe out of money you banshee.

you’ve got no dignity Muriel

I think she has no idea what's going on outside of her world of gifted balloon rides and squashing poor horses. She doesn't own a home so would have no clue about interest rates and the pressure this will place on so many mortgage holders. She doesn't seem to do a regular weekly family shop like most of us. Just visits markets and buys random assortments of cheese and slabs of meat.

Most people I know are going on holidays NOW (because let's face it, most people have been working hard and home schooling for the last 2 years and actually deserve a break) and are planning on knuckling down and spending less when they get home. I do kind of hope her trips go ahead because it will be fascinating to watch, but I can't imagine how many people are going to follow through and pay a deposit.

 

[YankeeRoo]

Trolling us with DickEhead comments!! Hi CrustyLou!! Ur sister sounds about as enthused to be with you as Sagey!!!

 

[DoomScroller]

She certainly appeals to a certain demographic…


Get out now ladies! You are not her tribe… get out whilst you can!

 

[ActiveLies]

Whose playing the didgeridoo?? Have I accidentally slipped over to another group again

literally no fucking clue Just found the passive aggressive suggestion of googling to learn something a bit ironic given the butchering of didgeridoo.

 

[Sponfused]

I’m not sure that Emmy is even going to recoup the cost of those grapes tonight. But the boost her ego gets from events like this.. priceless.

Here are some better cheeseboards I made in a past role for some work events and morning teas....some cheeses from Coles some from the French cheese shop at Queen Vic market (spent $300 that time) I work in law, not events. Judge for yourselves.

Where can I find the google doc to register for this??

 

[Toilet toothbrush]

What the farken fark did I just watch? She’s a total fuckwit and the other 2 are no better. It’s just totally embarrasenté
Is this the sort of behavior I can expect with fruit on the Bali retreat experience?

 

[lovethatformeh]

When did the cardi sell out to become "back in stock"? Wasnt this one of the pieces she's been wearing for MONTHS that was stuck in shipping containers?
I know ive missed a fair chunk of her shit recently but this seems like a lie.

Also she'd be fuming that the jeans post says she's a 16!

I don’t understand advertising a cardigan that you can barely see the full look/shape of in the pics? She’s wearing items from 2 other brands in these pics and they’re front and centre!!

 

[Buttercup725]

I haven't even reached the end of the stories but I had to say this. When she asked what are you going to book next...I swear to God I wanted to answer her NOTHING because I have no extra money to spend after I buy my pet food, pay my mortgage and my sky high property tax and other necessary things. She is very lucky if she has extra money to spend on frivolity.

And does she know how to say "bought?" She sounds so ignorant constantly. And why does she keep sticking her fingers in her ears? Does she need a cleaning? I am sorry for being so cranky.....just got up and obviously need coffee. God, she is so annoying.