I don’t think I have ever been so disturbed by anything as I have this case. I can’t stop thinking about that dear little boys suffering. I cried when I watched the news, I cried cooking tea on Friday. I have done some Xmas shopping this morning and I don’t feel any joy, I just keep wondering how sad Arthur’s Xmas’s must have been.
I can’t unsee the footage on the news, nor can I unhear the evidence I have heard and it’s eating away at me.
I wonder if it’s because my grandson is just a couple of years younger and looks a bit like Arthur? Said Grandson has known nothing but love and the thought of anyone hurting him is horrific. Much as my partner is disgusted by this case too, I think he’s getting a bit fed up if seeing me mope about with red eyes!
Please can someone tell me I am not alone!!
I don't think I've commented on these threads but I have on Star's and I can 100% confirm you are not alone. Hearing Arthur shout and cry that no one loved him and no one was going to feed him will never, ever leave me. Nor will seeing him limping and too weak to fold his blanket on the morning of his death. I just want to pick him up out of the screen, give him a big cuddle and bring him home with me to a warm comfy bed and as much yummy food as he wanted and never let anyone raise a hand to him again. I can only imagine his friends' families feeling the same too. I have sobbed at the most random time over him. My 2 children are 4 and 6. Both little blondies and like you with your grandson, they remind me of Arthur. As Emmadale said, my youngest's birthday is days before Arthur died so I remember the time well, preparing gifts and a cake, all while Arthur suffered. While having dinner last night my 6-year-old was thanking me for a lovely meal
and my partner said flippantly how lucky they are to have a mum like me and my thoughts went instantly back to Arthur being starved and off I went in tears again. My kids are getting away with all sorts because I can't bear to tell them off or have them upset. We were looking back on our lockdown memories the other day - we were "lucky" in that none of our families suffered any serious illness/financial loss etc through the pandemic and we "enjoyed" lockdown with lots of family time in the garden etc and to be honest, those happy memories are now tainted by the thought of Arthur and any other children who suffered while being kept at home. I don't know how to get over this, I don't think I will get over it, and at the same time, I feel silly that I am so upset when I didn't know him - I feel like I don't have the right to be upset? I see people comparing Arthur to Baby P and James Bulger, both of those poor boys were killed when I was still a child so it almost wasn't on my radar, if that makes sense? I feel like this is the first time I have really followed such a harrowing case as an adult and it is REALLY affecting me. I think my partner thinks I need to pull myself together as well but I just can't.