my Ex bro in law is a narc, while my sister was suffering with severe PND with a 18 month and 2 month old baby, he felt she was not giving him enough attention and decided to embark on an affair for the next 6 months, he continued the affair and lied about it, my sister only found out the woman was still around after he had her sleepover when he had the girls, he didn’t tell my sister her 5 year old did. When she got upset, he said it was all her fault for neglecting him and that she was abusive and should have done more to make him happy when she had PND.
sorry to digress, just reminds me of that situation, he screamed the metal health card too - after the affair came out and everyone was mad at him, he said he was suicidal so no one could express their true feelings. MH is always used as defence by a narc, but my sisters MH didn’t matter did it, grrrrrrr.
its so toxic!