Driving - Anxiety

[Popcornshovel]

Yeah increased anxiety after 40 can be due to hormones!

I used to fly for work 2-3 times a month, know how to breeze my way through international airports but now I'm getting a flying phobia, never thought that'd happen to me!

 

[Kim Mild]

We've been on a daytime today and I drove until we had a toilet stop. We were on the motorway for a while too ( although our nearest motorway is basically just dual carriage way with blue signs) but i didn't panic about missing my exist . I felt absolutely fine doing it.

 

[Upintheair83]

So iv posted on here many times! I really struggle with driving, I always feel like people are watching me and will ne laughing at me and that's my biggest fear, especially when trying to manoeuvre. Since having my new car I'm getting better at reversing but because my confidence has slightly gone up, iv also become a bit braver. But with feeling a bit bolder it's also caused more unease
So when I'm trying to navigate somewhere new I'm getting really flustered trying to figure out which lanes I should be getting in
I'm OK reading signs as a passenger but as a driver it's like I can't do all these things at once! It's as though I haven't got enough time to read the signs and try and figure out where iv got to turn off/ what lane/ junction to get in/ off. Does anyone else feel like this? Then I imagine people behind me losing their temper with me and jt makes me worse! Any tips?

 

[Snippysnips]

I'm OK reading signs as a passenger but as a driver it's like I can't do all these things at once! It's as though I haven't got enough time to read the signs and try and figure out where iv got to turn off/ what lane/ junction to get in/ off. Does anyone else feel like this? Then I imagine people behind me losing their temper with me and jt makes me worse! Any tips?

Oh this is me, I see the sign, then am passed it an am like wtf did I read, what was on that sign, but there's no going back an your already at the junction/roundabout an you need to make a decision so you end up panicking

I try to go through the route I need on Google maps before I set off, try to count the roundabouts an be like junction 1 is right lane, roundabout 2 is 3rd exit etc

 

[Temperance]

This is me too! So many things to focus on all at once. I wish I could somehow slow everything down in my head.

I have wondered if an automatic rather than manual car would help - it’s not that I overly struggle with the gears and clutch, just that it would be one less thing for my brain to have to process! I’ve never tried an automatic though so don’t know if it would actually help.

 

[Upintheair83]

This is me too! So many things to focus on all at once. I wish I could somehow slow everything down in my head.

I have wondered if an automatic rather than manual car would help - it’s not that I overly struggle with the gears and clutch, just that it would be one less thing for my brain to have to process! I’ve never tried an automatic though so don’t know if it would actually help.

I have got an automatic and yet I still struggle so much. Its like my brain can't cope with so much all at once. I think I get myself jn such a panic i can't think straight

 

[Popcornshovel]

Even drivers of 20+ years feel like this. My other half is a great driver but gets stressed getting into the correct lane.
There's a reason why even confident drivers prefer a route they've done before!
Its not a nice feeling at all but you're not alone feeling like that.

 

[MsGilmore]

There’s also a lot more mats on the roads these days. People are way more aggressive and inpatient. I have no idea how people like that are when they are driving in unfamiliar places and are treated like that unless they are equally aggressive back. Driving standards are way worse since the pandemic, but the police and local councils do duck all! I live near a main and it’s like Silverstone at night with the idiots in their modified Audi/BMW/Seat/Fiesta/Focus treating it like a race track. The police are nowhere to be seen.

 

[Kim Mild]

So iv posted on here many times! I really struggle with driving, I always feel like people are watching me and will ne laughing at me and that's my biggest fear, especially when trying to manoeuvre. Since having my new car I'm getting better at reversing but because my confidence has slightly gone up, iv also become a bit braver. But with feeling a bit bolder it's also caused more unease
So when I'm trying to navigate somewhere new I'm getting really flustered trying to figure out which lanes I should be getting in
I'm OK reading signs as a passenger but as a driver it's like I can't do all these things at once! It's as though I haven't got enough time to read the signs and try and figure out where iv got to turn off/ what lane/ junction to get in/ off. Does anyone else feel like this? Then I imagine people behind me losing their temper with me and jt makes me worse! Any tips?

Sounds like me, I hate the thought of being criticised, I dont like being watched and I can't navigate. My actual ability to drive is fine. I'm going to find my way to places I want to go in advance of needing too, I have a list . I've decided, unless I'm on a tight schedule, it doesn't matter if I go the wrong way , as long I drive safely.

 

[Temperance]

I have got an automatic and yet I still struggle so much. Its like my brain can't cope with so much all at once. I think I get myself jn such a panic i can't think straight

Ah, so it’s not likely to be the answer for me either then.

It really is a mental battle, isn’t it? Rather than actual driving skills.

 

[Upintheair83]

Ah, so it’s not likely to be the answer for me either then.

It really is a mental battle, isn’t it? Rather than actual driving skills.

I think that's what it is, don't mw wrong I do find the automatic much easier. It does take that edge off and I can concentrate more on my usual routes. But new routes I just completely panic and get so flustered. Its like I can imagine people behind me moaning and getting arsey with me, and that causes me to panic. No one has any patience these days and I think that's what causes me to panic ao much, its almost like I feel people don't give me the time I need to be safe. Which is awful really! I know sometimes hesitation does cause accidents but I also feel drivers nowadays aren't considerate or patient.

 

[Kim Mild]

Another thing is, if you take the wrong road, none of the other road users will know that you originally wanted to go a different way.

 

[Temperance]

I think that's what it is, don't mw wrong I do find the automatic much easier. It does take that edge off and I can concentrate more on my usual routes. But new routes I just completely panic and get so flustered. Its like I can imagine people behind me moaning and getting arsey with me, and that causes me to panic. No one has any patience these days and I think that's what causes me to panic ao much, its almost like I feel people don't give me the time I need to be safe. Which is awful really! I know sometimes hesitation does cause accidents but I also feel drivers nowadays aren't considerate or patient.

I could have written this myself. I assume people behind me are irritated by my very presence on the road and that I’m doing something wrong - and usually something that I’m unaware of.

It’s so hard to get past the very real discomfort of feeling so anxious and stressed to reach the point where driving becomes second nature. I wish I could get there.

 

[Temperance]

Another thing is, if you take the wrong road, none of the other road users will know that you originally wanted to go a different way.

I definitely need to find a way to stop worrying so much about what other drivers are thinking about me (or more likely not thinking!).

 

[Upintheair83]

I could have written this myself. I assume people behind me are irritated by my very presence on the road and that I’m doing something wrong - and usually something that I’m unaware of.

It’s so hard to get past the very real discomfort of feeling so anxious and stressed to reach the point where driving becomes second nature. I wish I could get there.

It's so hard. For example I was driving down a local road I drive down all the time, and on my side of the road there was a road cleaner coning towards me. He was flashing his lights at me- in my mind I had already started indicating and slowing down at a good distance and I was a good speed not going too slow or too fast- but because he was flashing at me I started to get a wave of panic and anxiety. It completely took over my thoughts wondering what I'd done wrong. As I travelled further down the road I couldn't think about anything else, and then I realised why he was flashing at me....it was a speed camera van!.....he was just being nice to me! (I want to add, I wasn't speeding I'm one of those people that actually HATE speeding and think cameras are a good think to be honest!) But I just felt so stupid that I automatically thought I'd done something wrong!

 

[Temperance]

It's so hard. For example I was driving down a local road I drive down all the time, and on my side of the road there was a road cleaner coning towards me. He was flashing his lights at me- in my mind I had already started indicating and slowing down at a good distance and I was a good speed not going too slow or too fast- but because he was flashing at me I started to get a wave of panic and anxiety. It completely took over my thoughts wondering what I'd done wrong. As I travelled further down the road I couldn't think about anything else, and then I realised why he was flashing at me....it was a speed camera van!.....he was just being nice to me! (I want to add, I wasn't speeding I'm one of those people that actually HATE speeding and think cameras are a good think to be honest!) But I just felt so stupid that I automatically thought I'd done something wrong!

Poor you, I would also feel massively stressed in that situation

I wonder why we automatically assume we’ve done something wrong.

It’s almost like there’s a secret ‘confident driver’s club’ or language that we’re not a part of yet!

 

[Kim Mild]

I changed my car recently and most of my anxiety has gone because so much of it was related to the fear of my car malfunctioning.

 

[Griftygardener]

I've been driving for forty years and used to navigate the M25 regularly going from Essex down to Hastings to visit my parents. Then around 15 years ago I started to get anxiety in certain situations such as speeds over around 50 (which rules out motorways) wide open roads with no other vehicles around, busy roundabouts and waiting at traffic lights, of all things.
As soon as the car stops moving, such as at traffic lights or waiting to get onto a busy roundabout, I have an irrational fear of getting stuck, either by the car breaking down or me somehow forgetting how to drive.
On open roads and motorways it's similar, I feel like I'm going to lose control of the car somehow.
Yet when driving around my local area I am a confident driver. My anxiety is either 0/10 or 9/10, no middle ground.
Forcing myself to do the things that make me anxious doesn't work, if anything it increases the fear.
I don't understand where it's come from or what I can do about it.

 

[Popcornshovel]

I've been driving for forty years and used to navigate the M25 regularly going from Essex down to Hastings to visit my parents. Then around 15 years ago I started to get anxiety in certain situations such as speeds over around 50 (which rules out motorways) wide open roads with no other vehicles around, busy roundabouts and waiting at traffic lights, of all things.
As soon as the car stops moving, such as at traffic lights or waiting to get onto a busy roundabout, I have an irrational fear of getting stuck, either by the car breaking down or me somehow forgetting how to drive.
On open roads and motorways it's similar, I feel like I'm going to lose control of the car somehow.
Yet when driving around my local area I am a confident driver. My anxiety is either 0/10 or 9/10, no middle ground.
Forcing myself to do the things that make me anxious doesn't work, if anything it increases the fear.
I don't understand where it's come from or what I can do about it.

If you're a woman, could it be hormonal? That's so interesting that it happens only in some situations.
I find it helpful to remember that anxiety is me overestimating the danger of the situation and underestimating my ability to cope with the situation.

 

[Pesky Tarian]

I'm generally OK if I've driven the route before. I used to have incredible parking anxiety, I shared a large car with my husband for years and would avoid places at peak times (or altogether if the spaces were small). I bought myself a small car in the summer and the freedom it's given me is beautiful.

In an epic case of fomo husband has bought a new suv, I've driven it once and that will be all I think as it doesn't have a handbrake and I'll be frank I didn't clock this until stationary on a very steep hill!. Clicking a button is not for me . So yeah that's a new driving fear unlocked .