Does he like me ?

[Begborrowsteal]

Definite red flag for me. Especially as he has kids. Still with the mum of the kids? Some drama there? Its so unusual to not be on SM at 30.

 

[Secretadmirer]

Aw if he’s taking time out his day to message you/check in on you etc then I’d say he’s keen? I mean of course you never know how things will work out, in person it might be completely different but you have to start somewhere and I’d say getting along well and him wanting to talk to you a lot is a good sign? Perhaps at first he just wanted to make you feel welcome as he can’t do it in the work place like he normally would but obviously he’s enjoyed speaking with you, perhaps fancies you too so thought he’s try his luck! But then I’m someone who’s quite stupid and naive when it comes to men and relationships

 

[GeorgeP123]

But.......ask yourself why.

Any normal person would have just joined in the conversation. But he made a point of siphoning you off and starting the same conversation just between the two of you. It’s weird. Sorry but this whole thing is weird.

Maybe it's just an excuse for more private chatting. It doesn't have to be weird.

 

[GeorgeP123]

Oooh it's annoying when they don't have socials so you can't have a wee look. How about snapchat and then you can see if he gas a dead high score lol or us it just me who is a psycho haha.

 

[CosmicCreepers]

Bless you I think he’s definitely into you! I’m currently speaking to a girl (I’m bi) and I’m not sure whether she’s just being nice or not but my friends are like hun she’s clearly wanting to speak to you a lot and asks about my interests...I think either way you will end up good friends and that’s just as amazing (especially in lockdown, when we are missing social interaction)

 

[Begborrowsteal]

I love this He doesn’t have socials! Which instantly makes me suspicious but he said he just doesn’t like Facebook and Instagram etc.

Hmmm. Yeah, its really unusual now for some this kinda age to not have any social media. I hate that its even a thing, but it is. Potential drama with the kids mum.

 

[Milliehaha123]

Put his phone number into the Facebook search bar and it will come up with his account (if he has one)

I agree with others that the signs are there that he probably does like you ie messaging separately but tread carefully. You’re in no rush and so I probably would just keep it professional, friendly but nothing more until you meet him. He might be totally different IRL (a guy I met on tinder once was so so funny on WhatsApp and ridiculously quiet and tame in real life!) or you might just not fancy him at all when you meet him (and so it might be awkward if you’ve been overly flirty virtually)

best case scenario is that he’s a great guy with no baggage and you meet and fall madly in love. But worst is that you put yourself out there - get hurt or actually realise he’s a freak in real life.

Id take it slow and think about it all once you’ve met him.

 

[ChipsAhoy]

I’d love to hear more from a guys point of view just out of interest.

Just read the whole story. From a guys perspective eventhough I don't condone his actions, I can get his thought process on what he was trying to do. Glad you've found out he is married though and haven't invested even more time or effort into him..

 

[Gellymaccy]

I think it sounds like he does, maybe try flirting more a bit to gage his response then you will know if he likes you in that Way or not?

 

[Walnutss]

I think it sounds like he does, maybe try flirting more a bit to gage his response then you will know if he likes you in that Way or not?

U didnt specify are u are girl seeking guy? Guys dont usually seek out friends like that so I would say hes defo into u! My friend is in the same situation and the guys issue is its lockdown u cant really have a date or do anything fun?

Maybe hes waiting for u to make it a bit more flirty?

 

[BettyCrocker]

Exactly negative Nellys on this thread u meet him u dont like him that's it jeeez
It's very mumsnet turning him into a creep the mans not even being flirty

Oh give over!!!!! I’m just speaking from years of experience of seeing how guys like this operate. Ordinarily she would be able to gauge what he’s like from seeing him at work in a normal environment and would get a general idea of what he’s like from speaking to the other people that work there.

 

[ChipsAhoy]

Ask him for a dick pic? If it goes down like a lead balloon you know he wasn’t into you

too funny

 

[Saddlesoap]

Rock climbing is good fun and an opportunity for him to check you out - especially your bum! Haha.

Keep going as you are, sounds fun, bit try not to much pressure on it. I agree I suspect he must be physically attracted to you to PM you. Do you follow him on socials?

 

[GeorgeP123]

I don’t think the guy is a freak at all. Look, we’re in lockdown for god sake it’s no different to him pursuing you in person if you were in the office.

It sounds like he just really likes the look and sound of you from the video calls and wanted to talk to you. I personally think it’s nice and also my bf doesn’t have any social media other than Twitter for his job! And neither does my brother - they’re 31 and 35!

I would just carry on as you are and maybe just try and find more about his life. I’ve been catfished and lied to from guys online many times so I know the signs. But if you are concerned is there another member of the team you could message in private and just sort of check that this guy isn’t a weirdo? I don’t think he is, but I can see some people are pushing you to think he is so it may reassure you!

YES! Totally agree. I too have been catfished etc from total freaks online and didn't know until I met them in person that they were total freaks lol. But I did pick up on loads of red flags which I pushed to the back of my mind. I think you know if you're getting red flags or not deep down. I think the same, I think he's seen you on zoom and thought she's really nice and then struck up conversation. It's nothing I wouldn't do if I liked someone at work. Totally genuine. But you do need to meet up for a walk. That's allowed isn't it to meet up with 1 person.

 

[Jon9090]

Just read the whole story. From a guys perspective eventhough I don't condone his actions, I can get his thought process on what he was trying to do. Glad you've found out he is married though and haven't invested even more time or effort into him..

 

[ChipsAhoy]

Hey! This is a very weird situation. I really think you need to clarify with him what his intentions are and where this is going - you don't want to get mixed up or misconstrue things, especially with a work colleague with both professional and personal boundaries - it's a slippery slope if things don't go well.

I’m definitely going to ask as it feels as if there is an elephant in the room if that makes sense?

 

[Begborrowsteal]

Aww thank you for this!! I think I’m reading into more than usual because of lockdown! Usually things like this wouldn’t consume me but I find it’s all I’m thinking about !

Completely understandable, life as we knew it has come to a standstill. We're lacking the social interaction we need as humans. Enjoy the companionship, enjoy the chatter! Its a nice little distraction!

 

[Begborrowsteal]

I personally think it says a lot of good things about a person if they’re not on SM. Basically they don’t care what anyone else thinks about them & they don’t feel the need to share their life/thoughts with the rest of the world - essentially that’s all SM is really isn’t it? People just blowing their own trumpets or snooping on other people

Oh 100%, social media is our downfall. Its addictive and giving us all headfuck! Ive just heard too many girls tell me theyve found out the guy was dodgy in these cases

I don't have socials. Got rid of it all 4 years ago and don't miss any of it. Doesn't mean I'm weird just got fed up of all the crap people post!

I think it's lovely. Its not like you are going to meet him in the dark or anything! As long as you are just chatting, nothing gets inappropriate or makes you uncomfortable then there is no problem. It's just a friendship at the minute, yes only by message but with lock down and people suffering with mental health and loneliness ect we Should be encouraging people to talk. If he is making you smile then that's a good thing and good luck!!! Hopefully it ends up as something more. If he ends up a creep well fair enough but we can't vilify the poor man just for being friendly

Not weird at all, but it is unusual.

 

[ChipsAhoy]

This is a great idea, thank you

Next time he asks you something (masked singer or something), I’d reply with “haha yeah, is your wife a fan too?”. It’s a passive aggressive warning to him that you know without you having to actually tell him.

 

[ChipsAhoy]

Thank you all so much for your insight. It has really helped me