Does he like me ?

[ChipsAhoy]

I chatted to another colleague tonight and casually asked about this guy. I’ve found out that he is not single. He is in fact married!!!

I feel like a total fool for even thinking that I liked him. I had no idea.

Thank you everyone for your advice. I’m not communicating with him anymore, feel like a total idiot.

 

[Blonde123]

Can’t believe people are saying it’s unprofessional or he’s a freak! Loadsss of people meet at work

Just be careful, there was this weird guy at my work wouldn’t leave me alone. He was relentless so I ended up marrying and having babies with him.

 

[Readread]

I must be the only one to think this but if he's seen you on a Zoom and messaged you privately he obviously is attracted to you. If he's being friendly, ask if he wants to meet up when lockdown is over, what have you got to lose?

 

[BettyCrocker]

Go carefully with this one. You’ve never met this guy, and he’s a colleague. He may well be messaging loads of women from work in the same way, as a way of passing the time. He could be one of those guys at work that always goes after the new girl, who you would ordinarily be warned about by the other people you work with! I’d actually find it a bit creepy if someone started contacting me like this in this kind or scenario.....!

I’d try to just keep it professional, until you can at least meet him in person and start to really gauge what he’s actually like.

 

[Walnutss]

Yeah it does seem a bit much I guess. Which is why I’m slightly confused about it all. We are both 30.

Uck so how are people supposed to meet nowadays? U cant go out u cant go anywhere he may have seen a girl he likes and went for it. I like it

 

[Blonde123]

I chatted to another colleague tonight and casually asked about this guy. I’ve found out that he is not single. He is in fact married!!!

I feel like a total fool for even thinking that I liked him. I had no idea.

Thank you everyone for your advice. I’m not communicating with him anymore, feel like a total idiot.

Next time he asks you something (masked singer or something), I’d reply with “haha yeah, is your wife a fan too?”. It’s a passive aggressive warning to him that you know without you having to actually tell him.

 

[Laur91]

Definite red flag for me. Especially as he has kids. Still with the mum of the kids? Some drama there? Its so unusual to not be on SM at 30.

I personally think it says a lot of good things about a person if they’re not on SM. Basically they don’t care what anyone else thinks about them & they don’t feel the need to share their life/thoughts with the rest of the world - essentially that’s all SM is really isn’t it? People just blowing their own trumpets or snooping on other people

 

[Begborrowsteal]

Aww I would definitely being reading in to it, because im soft

Just go with the flow, romantic or not, its a friendship

 

[Blonde123]

Ask him for a dick pic? If it goes down like a lead balloon you know he wasn’t into you

 

[Walnutss]

I must be the only one but if he's seen you on a Zoom and messaged you privately he obviously is attracted to you. If he's being friendly, ask if he wants to meet up when lockdown is over, what have you got to lose?

Exactly negative Nellys on this thread u meet him u dont like him that's it jeeez
It's very mumsnet turning him into a creep the mans not even being flirty

 

[Gellymaccy]

Can’t believe people are saying it’s unprofessional or he’s a freak! Loadsss of people meet at work

 

[GeorgeP123]

Exactly. It's no different from him meeting you in person at work by the photocopier and asking you out lol. He's seen you on zoom, had a look at your WhatsApp pic and started chatting. How else we meant to date in lockdown?! I say meet him for an outdoor walk and keep us all updated lol. Start making the chat a slightly bit more flirty and meet up. Fuck it. We only live once lol. Is he attractive?

 

[Blonde123]

This is a great idea, thank you

No worries! Don’t worry about all this, you weren’t to know he had a wife. Personally I wouldn’t go searching for her and telling her what her husband has been up to. I would if he’d got sexual in his messages, or you’d met up etc but he’s likely to deny or say you misunderstood things (gaslighting) if you do speak to her. You don’t need that drama or mess at work!

 

[SunshineSally]

I don't want to be a debbie downer but you haven't met him in real life yet. As lovely as the attention is, you might not have any chemistry at all when you finally see him in the flesh so to speak

 

[ChipsAhoy]

Feeling like a totally teenager writing this but I started a new job in November and due to covid I haven’t been in office but we weekly zoom with my colleagues. We also have a work WhatsApp.

One of the guys broke away from the WhatsApp and messaged me directly. At first it was about work stuff but our friendship blossomed and we would text every day now mostly. Not texting all day but we would be in contact. The chat isn’t flirty just friendly. Talking about work, tv and general chit chat and banter.

However at around Christmas time he said I was “lush” ? But didn’t elaborate further. The chat is mainly him checking in asking how I am, and a how is my day etc. He would refer to me as “mate

In these covid times it’s hard to read signals since we aren’t actually seeing each other at work in real life. But maybe I’m reading into the friend signals too much.

I feel so ridiculous writing this but Lockdown is making my head spin with all this.

 

[BettyCrocker]

I chatted to another colleague tonight and casually asked about this guy. I’ve found out that he is not single. He is in fact married!!!

I feel like a total fool for even thinking that I liked him. I had no idea.

Thank you everyone for your advice. I’m not communicating with him anymore, feel like a total idiot.

Well..... there it is.
The guy is a creep.
Find out who his wife is and tell her the lot.

 

[Lulu Goss]

Wow what a prick. I don’t think it sounds like you were reading too much into the messages, for the fact that he was the one messaging you separately and suggesting the rock climbing date.

I can’t remember if you mentioned this but had he previously said he was single? Either way, at least you know that he’s not now!

I would do what @Blonde123 said and casually mention his wife. That way you’re letting him know that you know, and hopefully he will leave it at that. Same as I said in my previous post, you don’t want things to be awkward at work but that should be enough for him to know he’s been caught out!

Be prepared for some bullshit about “oh I’m married but we’re only together for the kids / we’re going to separate / we’re just not in love anymore”

Men

 

[WilmaHun]

This thread took a turn I didn't expect. I'm really glad you found out the truth sooner rather than later though, definitely see it as a positive that you've found this out!

 

[BettyCrocker]

Can’t believe people are saying it’s unprofessional or he’s a freak! Loadsss of people meet at work

Yes. But they haven’t met at work. Infact they haven’t met at all!!!!! There’s a huge difference in getting to know someone in a work environment, and that progressing into a flirtation and possible relationship, versus this guy who she’s never met, creeping around on WhatsApp, claiming he has no social media profiles and trying to command her attention when another guy innocently chats to her about a tv show.
Meeting someone at work is fine - I met my husband at work. It’s just the way this guy is behaving that’s kinda odd. Like I’ve said, it’s all being played out over text messages on WhatsApp where he can say anything he likes about himself and she has no idea of what he’s saying is true or not. At least in a physical work environment you’d get a feel for what he’s like by seeing him interact with others, and you’d hear what he’s like and glean information from those that also work with him and know more about him.

 

[GeorgeP123]

I agree with what Betty said the other day about getting him to video call. If he doesn’t then there’s something off. I think she’s just trying to look out for you. Men can be really shitty!! Be careful don’t get too excited too soon ... get to know him as much as you can. You never know when you get back to work you might not even be attracted to him

Men really can be shitty can't they? In fact they never cease to amaze be by their lies BUT I'm still hoping for a fairytale