Does anyone hate their job? #2

[J3N1800]

Me and boss are in the office today. I asked him if we could talk about concerns etc today seeing as it would be face to face and if he wants me gone then a face to face meeting is what I deserve. I even suggested a time we'd both be free and offered to book a meeting room etc. The answer was "no I'll call you tomorrow"... You couldn't make it up.

As the one potentially receiving the bad news, it was mature of you to approach him and propose a one to one meeting. I think if he was free and still refused, the only reason is he's a coward.

 

[User_name_100]

My manager is back from annual leave and sent me a really really shitty email asking why I never completed a report on a specific date. Apparently I mentioned to a colleague in passing I was doing it on a particular day, and that colleague has gone back to my manager with it (fuck knows why!) I remember that day the workload was so high I got sidetracked so never finished it until the week later.

My manager is acting like it's a huge horrendous crime. The report isn't hugely time sensitive and he has asked me to "explain myself tomorrow" (those exact words!) Feeling really anxious about it all because I honestly don't know what to say. I actually would love to say the workload is so, so fucking high that I just don't have the fucking time to get things done, mainly because I'm doing the work of at least two people! I've been working extra hours every day and get no thanks at all for it.

I have applied for two jobs similar to mine but with different companies, fingers crossed I get some luck!

 

[thenoodle]

I’m back at work after a period of leave with anxiety, started feeling ok while off so thought it was getting better. But now I’m back I feel awful again and the thought of going in next week is filling me with dread. I’ve had headache for 3 days, my chest hurts and I just want to cry.

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

Work are Organising the works Xmas party.

I don’t want to go

 

[User_name_100]

100% you have made the best decision. Your mental health comes first and I think your old manager was an absolute dick - I bet he wasnt even going to fire you, it was all a control thing for him, to have you sweating and trigger anxiety. What a sad little man. I hope you manage to build your self confidence - you're amazing. Don't let that waste of air "man" make you think any different!

Thank you
The good thing is that I've taken control.
The past week or two has been awful worrying about whether I'd still have a job. He definitely has been playing games and it's most definitely a control thing on his side.
I'm proud of myself for not putting up with it anymore

 

[House of Tea]

The Sunday night dread…

 

[bcfc999]

Had an interview yesterday and I've got a new job!! Handed my notice in today, my manager was a bit taken aback at the speed of it and said it was a surprise, which shows how well she knows me so work wise I've got a lot of how to guides and SOPs to refresh - they never ever get looked at by anyone but I won't be accused of not passing on my knowledge!

 

[Kittypops]

Came home from work and cried my eyes out. I was in a meeting and I had misunderstood a problem; I like to try and speak up ( I'm shy and not confident, so I think it's good for me to try) and I'd questioned if the problem was a result of something else, but it turned out to not be the case. I'm junior and one of the senior men looked and spoke to me with such impatience and like I was so stupid, in front of my other colleagues as well as a client who was on the call. He's known to be blunt and direct with everyone, and this is the first time I've been on the receiving end. He made a rude remark too, so I can't fully let it go as a case of him just being overly direct. I made light of it at the time "ah sorry, yes of course, don't mind me!" just to try and salvage some pride in front of everyone, but I was absolutely furious inside. Annoyed at myself for not realising the problem, wishing I'd just kept quiet, but so angry at being spoken to like that in front of everyone - I feel like I looked stupid in front of everyone, that they'll think I'm stupid and I'm really embarrassed by it all.

He sounds an arrogant, rude person, I guarantee everyone in the meeting was similarly judging him.
Let any embarrassment go, if you can. Remember, there's no such thing as a stupid question (not that your question was stupid!), just stupid answers. Which he delivered.
Hope you're doing OK

 

[ATV2021]

What does everyone get paid to work in these soul crushing environments? I'm mid thirties, earning mid thirties and I'm genuinely bored to tears, have no aspirations within my current setting and spend every night dreaming up ways to earn more money doing something more fulfilling

Same age and salary as you....same dreaming too . I've tried writing down the things I'd want in a new role etc but I don't know what job exists to match...

Tbh I want to be a seriously wealthy lady of leisure who can skip off for afternoon tea on the daily if I'm honest

 

[User_name_100]

I was off work all last week with COVID and was really unwell. I'm still not 100% but am returning to work today. I know I've got outstanding work I need to catch up on because of this etc etc.

Even so, I just know my boss will be moaning today about tasks that were supposed to have been done last week not being completed. He obviously knows why I've been off but I really don't think that'll factor into his head before he no doubt sends an arsey email my way.

I think situations like this cement my decision to leave as soon as I have another job offer, I shouldn't be waking up full of anxiety about what today will bring, especially because it'll be no fault of my own.

 

[TheGlossy]

Has anyone ever been asked by a manager to cancel a full week off ‘if possible’ (during the holidays) and declined to do so? If yes, did it affect your dynamic with your manager or team?

Background: I was essentially asked if I would be able to cancel my week off to support a more senior colleague upon their return from a week off because they don’t want this colleague to get ‘too stressed’ thinking they’re behind. I’ve in the meantime been covering and helping this absent colleague as much as I could during their time off to keep things flowing.

I’ve only taken 10 days of leave and am beyond exhausted. In my books, it’s looking out for one employee at the expense of another.

 

[User_name_100]

Resignation in thank god!

He did take it OK and seemed as if he was half expecting it anyway.

What has annoyed me is that after he sent me written confirmation of the details we discussed in the call we had, cc'ing in the senior managers in my dept but he has completely made it look like he wasn't the problem at all. In fact he's made it out in the email as if he's done everything by the book and has made it out as if he offered unlimited support etc etc. He also accused me of not responding to emails in a timely fashion

This was definitely not the case. Obviously he's wrote all that to "look good" in front of the senior management team of my department.

At least only a month to go anyway!

 

[Gossipdollxoxo]

I don’t hate my job but the culture doesn’t seem to fit my personality.

People enjoy being in people’s business all the time. People over share and some do not respect boundaries. Everything you say or do will be fed to the next person. They do everything together (lunch/breakfast/afternoon tea and even exit the office together in the evening).

If we turn our camera off for 5 minutes during a large conference call with 300 or more people, we get a pinged being told ‘please keep your camera on’.

Apparently, there’s also been talks about people being encouraged to have lunch together as an effort to socialize. Lunch is an unpaid hour and therefore should be off limits.

If you join a generic call with about 20 other people and you don’t ask questions, the host of that call will inform you manager that you haven’t engaged during the call even if you’re actively listening. Then your manager will start asking you why you didn’t ask questions.

I was told today to be more ‘open’. I’m very professional and to the point, but apparently I’m not open enough (i.e, don’t spend my time making small talk and cracking jokes).

These are minor examples, but I feel this is like a frat in the workplace and is disguised micro-management. They’re making me feel bad to be who I am (professional but private and not a cling on).

I’m contemplating looking for a new job but I don’t really know what to do.

Oh my goodness, this sounds exactly like a conversation that I had the other day. My manager called me in & said she had concerns around my leadership but that there were no actual examples she could give me. I’ve just come out the other side of being involved in a grievance case & literally getting back on my feet after it knocked my confidence a little, and she said she was worried that I wasn’t aware & didn’t take in what was going on because I had appeared to show it no emotion or I was handling it well or putting on a front?! Said she was concerned she was getting the genuine me & that other managers had commented on my personality on random day of the week when we all went bowling on the back of a meeting and said how much fun & craic I’d seemed to be having. I wasn’t long back from Mat Leave at that time. When I returned from Mat Leave I returned with a spring in my step as I genuinely love my job & I got told to be careful as I can come across as being patronising?! The ironic thing is although it was a talk about me not showing emotion, I felt so frustrated I burst into tears & broke down in front of my manager, she literally just sat there and looked at me didn’t get up to give me a hug or anything not that I wanted one, but you know, if that was one my own team I’d have been up off my seat. So 3 months ago I got told to be careful as I can come across patronising & now 12 weeks later it’s turned into concerns around my leadership? She also told me how ‘nice’ of a time my team had with the manager who covered me on Mat leave whilst I was off (what a way to make me feel good about myself, not), although my team told me a different story. So yeah, think I might report it to HR in the morning as it has upset me all weekend. She also told me I have the ‘professional hat’ on all the time? What’s wrong with that exactly? I’m at my work, I get the job done. I’m dumbfounded if anything and it has given me serious red flags & concerns around her own Leadership towards me or the lack of. I’m feeling very uncomfortable.

 

[House of Tea]

I completely agree with all the chat on behaviour in schools. It has become so bad so quickly that we can’t really cope with it as there’s so many bad things happening.
The job isn’t the same as it was 10 years ago.
I work on secondary and pupils are telling staff to fuck off, not going to lessons, running away and climbing high fences to get out of school! Its making the job unbearable.

You must have thick skins. If they wanted to climb a high fence to truant, I would give them a helping hand and tell them to fuck off as well. I am not geared up to do a vocational role!

 

[Josims]

I handed in my notice at start of week and i am certainly counting down days to release but there has been a few things over past few days which really reinforced desire to leave. I was told by another colleague (Not my manager, same role as me but more years in role) in quite a threatening tone not to dare touch one aspect of my role anymore as he would be taking it over and needed to do anything related to it. Anyway he asked for an explanation on a part of the process (despite there been clear documents on exact procedure) and in process of showing me he had his teams chat with our manager open for me to clearly see and their was some quite bitchy comments about me, then also remarks about how i was such a poor communicator and couldn't wait for me to actually leave!

The thing is my manager never once raised anything in my 1:1s, appraisals or yearly reviews, i've been there around 2 years its just made me feel anxious about next few weeks. Its an all smallish team, all male besides me, yes i tend to keep my head down and just get on with it as i don't want to get involved with sexist, political or football talk but i know the next few weeks will drag and i'm going feel even more out of place knowing about these comments.

 

[thenoodle]

I’m on annual leave but so stressed about work. I made a reversible error last week which affected a coworker and I know from past experience he’ll now be telling everyone I ducked up and I already know he’s spoken to a senior manager about it. I’m so close to getting another position in the company but there’s possibility I could be investigated for what I did so now I’m worried it will stop me moving on from this toxic workplace. I want to go off sick with mental health and have felt like this for a while but that will definately stop me moving

 

[liff.laff.luff]

Same age and salary as you....same dreaming too . I've tried writing down the things I'd want in a new role etc but I don't know what job exists to match...

Tbh I want to be a seriously wealthy lady of leisure who can skip off for afternoon tea on the daily if I'm honest

where do I apply for lady of leisure? I definitely have the skill set.

You've probably hit the nail on the head, it's maybe that I want a lifestyle over a job. I would just love to wake up in the morning excited about the day, knowing that what I do is worthwhile and important. Instead I work like reluctant glitchy software, and worry about where the next telling off is coming from. I don't think I have a bad job but I do hate it.

 

[keepyourpeace]

I switched jobs in November for a step up (ie to supervisor).
Now I haven't been given the role of supervisor, I am scrutinised by everyone in the office (ie you forget to dot the t in one word and you're called out on it), the management team (family run) have 0 faith in my abilities (for example not allowed keys to the office in case I lose them because they don't trust me but they poached me so I have to wait outside in all weathers if I'm early before someone rocks up with keys)
I'll hold my hands up to every mistake I make (one in particular was costly but not massively so and I know I've made up for it in other ways) but its never good enough. The hours are shit it's not a good work life balance and I don't want to go in I'm at breaking point. Yeah its not all their fault but I'm not sure what else to do.

 

[bourb0nbiscuits]

I’ve been offered another job my new employer has asked my manager for a reference about 2 weeks ago. Manager hasn’t replied to the request, new job has emailed me asking me to remind manager to reply, I’ve forwarded the email but no reply, there is no reason that they can’t give a reference for me I don’t know what to do

 

[kendallroysdownfall]

OMG I could have written this post as well!

I think my three month notice period is going to be a loooooooooong one. The jibes and backbiting from the owner have already started.

I remembered this morning, ages back when boss couldn't contemplate that I'd ever leave, they jokingly sent me a Tiktok of an American lady who defecated on her bosses desk as a way of handing her notice in. My boss sent it to me and said, "This is something that I would imagine you would do" with a lot of laughing emojis and I remember having to restrain myself from writing back that I wouldn't waste the sh*t.