Does anyone hate their job? #2

[TbilisiFriedChicken]

I say this kindly, but duck that. If there is any HR tell them about the discriminatory remarks. If not, leave asap or immediately if you can afford to. To me, it wouldn't be worth jeopardising my mental health to stay. What a toxic cesspit. I'm so sorry to hear you're going through that.

Thank you, unfortunately no HR department, I think its done externally. I'm not in the best financial situation but I've started looking for another job and hopefully something will come up!

This sounds awful.
I hate when people are ignorant or rude to new starters, we were all newbies at one point - but even worse, they're being racist and fatphobic?
Would you feel comfortable raising it with HR?
I assume you have a manager who asked you to do that one job - they should have taken responsibility to ensure you knew what you were doing and helped rectify if wrong.
I imagine you're feeling pretty down but remember you aced the interview process and earnt that job, don't let them treat you otherwise.

I know! I've honestly never heard people be so open about these views in the workplace, I do wonder if my size has something do to with it because I'm the only fat person there but I don't know if I'm overthinking things. The person that asked me to do the job WFH full time but my manager was in the office at the time. The thing is I know I did it right so I have no idea why she was so angry. Thank you, that is so nice to say.

Wow, I'm so sorry that you're in this situation right now. Is there an HR deparment and could you raise all of that to them? There's tit to unpack here, derogatory remarks, name-calling, lack of work, not being paid.
Honestly, if you can, cut your losses now. Get your money and leave. That place doesn't sound like something you need to spend your time in much longer.

Thank you, there isn't an HR department but they did mention something about an external company so I'll have to look in to that. I've started looking for a new job but the only problem is fitting an interview in when I need to request time off 6 weeks in advance (!!!!).

 

[GiveMyHeadPeace]

Requesting time off at least 6 weeks in advance is ridiculous. You need to get the hell out of there. If you get an interview, phone in sick or say you have a medical appointment.

 

[TheGlossy]

A recruiter contacted me last Wednesday night briefly about a job they thought would be suitable for me. We arranged a phone call the following day to chat in more depth about what I was after etc and I agreed to let him pass my cv onto the company and I said Wednesday (today) would be an ok day for me to have an interview if they liked the sound of me. I hadn’t heard anything from the recruiter and I have an interview this morning for somewhere else (took the morning off work for it) anyway, he tried calling me this morning and I didn’t pick up, so he text me saying they would love to interview me today and have availability up until this afternoon. I’ve not replied as I wouldn’t have time for both interviews and I haven’t done any research! It’s all a bit last minute and I’m not impressed as I assumed i hadn’t got a slot. Surely he would have known before today that they wanted to interview me?! I don’t know what to respond with as I said I could do today if they wanted.

From past experience, most recruiters tend to be extremely flaky. This scenario happened to me on multiple occasions in the past. If you can, apply to companies directly.

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

I need some advice… for a hypothetical scenario.

If had an interview for a job that was 12 month ftc, and I knew that when I applied, but still went to the interview because the job still interested me. During the interview, you asked about contract renewal and they couldn’t tell you, all they could tell you is that they have been known to make them permanent, but if not, they would give you enough notice if they were to not extend it. I live on my own and have a mortgage, so can’t really be out of work (savings don’t last forever )

If they offered you the job, is there any other further questions you would ask about the contract?

 

[Codiaeum]

I need some advice… for a hypothetical scenario.

If had an interview for a job that was 12 month ftc, and I knew that when I applied, but still went to the interview because the job still interested me. During the interview, you asked about contract renewal and they couldn’t tell you, all they could tell you is that they have been known to make them permanent, but if not, they would give you enough notice if they were to not extend it. I live on my own and have a mortgage, so can’t really be out of work (savings don’t last forever )

If they offered you the job, is there any other further questions you would ask about the contract?

I’d ask about the notice period for making you permanent or not extending it. How far in advance you know would make or break the deal for me, plus how difficult it would be in your job to get a new one. If they only let you know two weeks before letting you go and it typically takes several months to find a job, that’s a different situation than knowing it three months in advance.

You could also ask whether they can put in a date by which they will need to inform you about your status.

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

I’d ask about the notice period for making you permanent or not extending it. How far in advance you know would make or break the deal for me, plus how difficult it would be in your job to get a new one. If they only let you know two weeks before letting you go and it typically takes several months to find a job, that’s a different situation than knowing it three months in advance.

You could also ask whether they can put in a date by which they will need to inform you about your status.

Great. I’ve written those down. Thank you.
When it came to the nearing end of the contract and it’s not extended and I’m being interviewed elsewhere, would it go against me if they asked why I was looking for a new job and I tell them it’s because it was only a years contract?! Would they wonder why I took a job role that wasn’t permanent?

 

[Codiaeum]

I think it’s okay to be frank and say that you were on a contract, there’s nothing wrong with that. And if they ask why you took on that job you could always say something like interesting insight into company that was valuable, even though you knew it was fixed, etc. But I doubt they would go into that. I’ve never seen people being asked why they took fixed contracts.

 

[Asgyui]

When it came to the nearing end of the contract and it’s not extended and I’m being interviewed elsewhere, would it go against me if they asked why I was looking for a new job and I tell them it’s because it was only a years contract?! Would they wonder why I took a job role that wasn’t permanent?

I've not heard it been a problem before, obviously it may be sector specific but it many areas its quite common such as maternity leave cover in teaching or project/funded work where your employed on FTC.

 

[Lico]

Not hating my job related, but I fell up steps going into work yesterday morning. My fault, missed the step, fell flat on my face. A few people saw me. I'm mortified.

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

I was offered a job on Friday night that I interviewed for on Wednesday. I’m not back at work until Tuesday and I’m dreading telling my boss. Any tips on how to hand in your notice? Especially to a boss who is extremely reactive. They will definitely try to get me to stay, but I won’t and don’t want to negotiate. Without sounding like an arse, they need me. His teenage daughter doesn’t pull her weight, but all I can suggest is I train her up during my notice period.
I’m looking at you @Codiaeum

 

[Codiaeum]

I was offered a job on Friday night that I interviewed for on Wednesday. I’m not back at work until Tuesday and I’m dreading telling my boss. Any tips on how to hand in your notice? Especially to a boss who is extremely reactive. They will definitely try to get me to stay, but I won’t and don’t want to negotiate. Without sounding like an arse, they need me. His teenage daughter doesn’t pull her weight, but all I can suggest is I train her up during my notice period.
I’m looking at you @Codiaeum

Congrats on getting the job!
Tbh, no good tips, I felt bad telling my old manager as I knew it would take it badly. Not angry, or anything like that. I figured I’d just get it over with and be firm in not negotiating, that part was really hard. He did try to offer me some things I’d have loved to work on but that I was never given.
If it helps, make a list of points why you looked for a new job, they might ask you why you leave and then just stick to that.
About the daughter: tough piece, but you could try to turn it round by generalizing it a little bit that “more people are needed, maybe we could train them up, like daughter-name”. Then you don’t have to spell it out….

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

@Codiaeum thank you. I’m worried they’ll start challenging me as to why I looked for another job and I’ll find it difficult not to start feeling off all the reasons why I’m unhappy. I don’t want to burn my bridges as I feel like I owe them as they took me on when I got made redundant during lockdown. I’m going to have to be firm and tell them I wanted to go somewhere bigger with more prospects etc. I currently work for a family run business where there are just 5 of us in an office. The last time someone tried to leave, 2 months ago, he handed in his notice via text as he’d had enough. They arranged to meet him for lunch and he decided to stay. I know they’ll try and arrange the same thing with me

 

[J3N1800]

@Codiaeum thank you. I’m worried they’ll start challenging me as to why I looked for another job and I’ll find it difficult not to start feeling off all the reasons why I’m unhappy. I don’t want to burn my bridges as I feel like I owe them as they took me on when I got made redundant during lockdown. I’m going to have to be firm and tell them I wanted to go somewhere bigger with more prospects etc. I currently work for a family run business where there are just 5 of us in an office. The last time someone tried to leave, 2 months ago, he handed in his notice via text as he’d had enough. They arranged to meet him for lunch and he decided to stay. I know they’ll try and arrange the same thing with me

Congrats on the new job!

Just say you've been offered an opportunity you can't refuse - I've heard this used by ex colleagues and it feels like a firm and non accusatory exit.

If they try pressure you to stay (which it sounds like something they do to leavers!) tell them you appreciate their offer but politely decline because your mind is already made up.

I think it'll be good to offer your support training this managers daughter during your notice period, it shows you're still considerate of the remaining people in the office and less burned bridges!

Hope you come away from your meeting feel relieved, good luck!

 

[TheGlossy]

I have been struggling a bit lately.

I moved from an all-male team (they were unhinged to be honest) to an all-female team and I’m really struggling.

I’m quite different from the other women in the team (who like to talk about clothes, overly chatty and who are able to show emotion at work or be overly complimentary to the point of being over the top). I’m none of these and while it’s natural for the other women in the team to be super expressive, it takes a huge effort for me.

Now, my appearance is quite deceiving because I’m quite feminine and “fashionable”, but my personality is more to the point and “get it done”. I hate small talk (although I’m super talkative in private).

Most of my work friendships are with males and it’s always been this way.

I honestly feel as though I can’t be myself. I’ve been in the role close to 6 months but I still feel I’m walking on eggshells.

I’m honestly contemplating moving roles once I hit the one year mark because I don’t feel comfortable in the team.

Has anyone ever experienced something similar? If so, any advice?

 

[Codiaeum]

I have been struggling a bit lately.

I moved from an all-male team (they were unhinged to be honest) to an all-female team and I’m really struggling.

I’m quite different from the other women in the team (who like to talk about clothes, overly chatty and who are able to show emotion at work or be overly complimentary to the point of being over the top). I’m none of these and while it’s natural for the other women in the team to be super expressive, it takes a huge effort for me.

Now, my appearance is quite deceiving because I’m quite feminine and “fashionable”, but my personality is more to the point and “get it done”. I hate small talk.

Most of my work friendships are with males and it’s always been this way.

I honestly feel as though I can’t be myself. I’ve been in the role close to 6 months but I still feel I’m walking on eggshells.

I’m honestly contemplating moving roles once I hit the one year mark because I don’t feel comfortable in the team.

Has anyone ever experienced something similar? If so, any advice?

I don't think this is an issue of gender distribution in your teams, but your work personalities not quite matching. It sounds like you're more introverted, you wrote that you're not into small talk and getting things done. That shouldn't mean that it clashes with your appearance though and if anything, nobody should assume that you're into smalltalk just because you decided to wear a dress today.
While your old team may have had issues, maybe your work styles were a better fit. Unfortunately not much help, I'm afraid - I've found that sometimes, some people don't work in a specific setting, even though they're nice. Do you know whether there are more people joining your team soon? Or other teams you could move to, if needed?

 

[TheGlossy]

I don't think this is an issue of gender distribution in your teams, but your work personalities not quite matching. It sounds like you're more introverted, you wrote that you're not into small talk and getting things done. That shouldn't mean that it clashes with your appearance though and if anything, nobody should assume that you're into smalltalk just because you decided to wear a dress today.
While your old team may have had issues, maybe your work styles were a better fit. Unfortunately not much help, I'm afraid - I've found that sometimes, some people don't work in a specific setting, even though they're nice. Do you know whether there are more people joining your team soon? Or other teams you could move to, if needed?

Thank you

I don’t wear dresses haha. It’s not so much about my outfits giving the indicator that I like small talk. It’s about these women assuming I’m into certain things (for instance fashion or makeup) and start talking to me about these things. Or maybe they just like to talk about these with anyone.

But I unfortunately think it’s gender related. Women in my team talk about clothes in team meetings, banter about “girly stuff” share a lot about their private lives etc and I’ve zero interest in this which doesn’t make me personable because I don’t have anything to say.

I can adapt to people’s work styles but we don’t work together very much, so I can’t say 100% it’s a work personality clash.

There won’t be anyone else joining the team at the moment.

 

[Codiaeum]

Thank you

I don’t wear dresses haha. It’s not so much about my outfits giving the indicator that I like small talk. It’s about these women assuming I’m into certain things (for instance fashion or makeup) and start talking to me about these things. Or maybe they just like to talk about these with anyone.

But I unfortunately think it’s gender related. Women in my team talk about clothes in team meetings, banter about “girly stuff” share a lot about their private lives etc and I’ve zero interest in this which doesn’t make me personable because I don’t have anything to say.

I can adapt to people’s work styles but we don’t work together very much, so I can’t say 100% it’s a work personality clash.

There won’t be anyone else joining the team at the moment.

Okay, that does sound weirder than I thought it might be. Not everyone is into talking about private stuff at work, especially not all the time and the entire team. I'd also feel uncomfortable and also like my time is being wasted.
Hmm... if it has been six months, then yeah, you've clearly spent some time there to know whether the situation is going to improve or not and it doesn't sound like it might soon, so at least looking for something new might be a good idea.

 

[tomato_paste]

Had it with my boss bullying us, the staff, even though we're a bleeping amazing bunch of people.

I've contacted a recruiter today and have a first interview on Thursday.

I just wish things were differently. I love my current job, my team and so many of the other people on the other teams are amazing too. I will miss them all like crazy, both as people and as coworkers. They're a bunch of amazing, kind, generous, knowledgeable, wonderful people and I don't know how I will deal with not having them around.

It hurts and makes me so very very angry that the single reason I'm even considering quitting is because of our horrible CEO. But there is no option for change - still gonna try and talk to my manager, but I think it's pretty hopeless to be honest.

 

[MagpieTree]

We're allowed to WFH 2 days a week but have to be in the office for the other 3. I struggle with depression and my old boss was really good at me doing extra days from home if needed. We had a restructure in January and my new boss is less accommodating. I've forced myself into the office today to find out the other three people on my team are all at home. I'm less productive in the office as I find it overwhelming so what is the actual point of me being here today?

 

[J3N1800]

We're allowed to WFH 2 days a week but have to be in the office for the other 3. I struggle with depression and my old boss was really good at me doing extra days from home if needed. We had a restructure in January and my new boss is less accommodating. I've forced myself into the office today to find out the other three people on my team are all at home. I'm less productive in the office as I find it overwhelming so what is the actual point of me being here today?

What's the reason for the in office days?
I'm on a similar schedule, but the team is either all at home or all in - to encourage in person communication, space for meetings and team work ext.
If you can do your job from home and your colleagues are working from home - I don't know the benefit of your manager having you in? Especially if it's having a detrimental effect on your work and mental health.