Hi everyone, first post in this thread
I'm 32 and have lifelong anxiety, morphed from being a child and having genuine fear at not pleasing my parents, who split when I was 2 but both seperately did things that made me feel responsible for their emotional states, from a very young age. I guess this has forced me into being what is now referred to as an "empath" and constantly horrifically anxious at the idea of upsetting people. I can't even have an argument with my boyfriend without crying myself to sleep and being horrifically upset that he's not as upset as I am because who I am and how I feel can't exist independently of someone I care about.
It's really hard having both this and general anxiety, I was prescribed Mirtazipine 45mg (the highest amount recommended) which helped my horrific anxiety that I had before, during and after being incorrectly prescribed Citalopram for 9 months previous. I hate how I was just passed from dr to dr via an online service recommended by my GP, and none of them listened when I said the Citalopram was literally making me so physically anxious every morning that I was more often than not vomiting, if not, dry retching for hours due to physical anxiety in my abdomen.
I'm better now on Mirtazipine but rely heavily on recreational drugs to help my brain slow down, and I'm currently recognising signs that imply this is becoming a problem, like irritability when not high etc.
It's sometimes so exhausting being aware of your mental state. I'd love to be unaware.