I struggled this year too. It's going to be 3 years this month since I lost Dad and because he was in a hospice all over Christmas before he passed away, it still feels tainted somehow. I can't shake the association between losing him and Christmas. Not sure that I ever will.
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Dad's funeral tomorrow morning. Just want to skip to 5pm tomorrow when it's all done and I;m back home!
I hope it goes well @RainbowFuzz.
Sending you strength, and hoping the day is full of happy memories and love
I’d like to share something possibly strange.
I’ve read about dreams some people have when their loved ones come to say goodbye etc. My Dad passed away a couple of years ago and I felt so sad that he hadn’t ‘visited’ me.
Three weeks ago I dreamt that he knocked on my door and came in for a cup of tea (as he always did). We sat down and I noticed he was wearing this little gold hoop earring. I found this hilarious as he never wore jewellery and it seemed strange to see him with one. He told me to stop laughing and taking the piss as he likes it! Anyway, I woke up happy that I’d seen him and just put it down to a weird dream.
Last week, my maternal uncle told me he found a lovely photo taken at his wedding of my dad holding me. I received it today. I’m 7 months old in the picture and dad is looking down at me smiling… and he’s only got a gold hoop earring in his ear!
Rationally, it must’ve been in my subconscious. But the timing of the dream and then receiving this photo did give me goosebumps. Anyone else had these kind of dreams?
I’ve read about dreams some people have when their loved ones come to say goodbye etc. My Dad passed away a couple of years ago and I felt so sad that he hadn’t ‘visited’ me.
Three weeks ago I dreamt that he knocked on my door and came in for a cup of tea (as he always did). We sat down and I noticed he was wearing this little gold hoop earring. I found this hilarious as he never wore jewellery and it seemed strange to see him with one. He told me to stop laughing and taking the piss as he likes it! Anyway, I woke up happy that I’d seen him and just put it down to a weird dream.
Last week, my maternal uncle told me he found a lovely photo taken at his wedding of my dad holding me. I received it today. I’m 7 months old in the picture and dad is looking down at me smiling… and he’s only got a gold hoop earring in his ear!
Rationally, it must’ve been in my subconscious. But the timing of the dream and then receiving this photo did give me goosebumps. Anyone else had these kind of dreams?
This is beautiful.
Honestly, I've stopped trying to rationalise things. I just think it takes away from the comfort.
Ive had so many little things happen this year. Example, my relative died from Alzheimers. We've never had forget me nots in our garden. Ever. The week after they die, I notice white forget me nots in the garden. I haven't been able to grow any since.
On an anniversary date, I saw a deer at the entrance to a wood that I live round the corner from. Ive never seen a deer in that wood. Ever. Even weirder, I had my dog with me and the deer didnt run.
Finally, this year, the day my grandma died, about an hour after she died, a dragonfly flew into my conservatory and hung around for ages. 30 minutes later, i get a phone call telling me she died.
I see robins everywhere.
I could try and brush all this off as a coincidence and, it might possibly be. But it makes me so happy to think they could still be out there somewhere.
My dad died in 2002.
About three weeks after he died, I had a dream that he came into my room to see me, and that he was sat on the washing basket over the other side of my room. It was so real, like id half woken up and seen him there.
I found out the next day that both my mum and my auntie (his sister) had also had similar dreams the same night.
My mum died in 2018. I now see robins everywhere. They land near me when im out walking my dog. We even had one spend hours under a table in the rain outside the patio doors of our holiday cottage, in the middle of May a couple of years ago. I always say "hello mum"
I used to smell my mum's perfume sometimes randomly. That was always quite comforting when it happened.
I'd quite like my dad to give me a sign about what happened to his sovereign ring that I mislaid after he died, still feel bad about that
(I suspect someone might have nicked it, I had a lot of house parties back then and mixed with some pretty awful people. But it would be nice to know if it's still tucked away somewhere).
I'd quite like my dad to give me a sign about what happened to his sovereign ring that I mislaid after he died, still feel bad about that
(I suspect someone might have nicked it, I had a lot of house parties back then and mixed with some pretty awful people. But it would be nice to know if it's still tucked away somewhere).That’s lovely to hear you get these comforting signs
My dad was a great singer and would sing ‘My Girl’ to me and I often hear it play at random times and places and I swear that didn’t happen before.
But this dream I had has really done my head in. I’ve dug out loads of photos of him from when I was a newborn to around age 5 and he’s not wearing an earring in any of them. So weird. And I can’t stop looking at it 🥹
That’s interesting that others also dreamt about him the same night. I’ve not told anyone other than my husband about this so I’ll have to ask around.
That would be great if they could come and tell us some useful things. I hope you find the ringI used to smell my mum's perfume sometimes randomly. That was always quite comforting when it happened.
I'd quite like my dad to give me a sign about what happened to his sovereign ring that I mislaid after he died, still feel bad about that
I am the least woo woo person ever, so these things confuse me- but they do happen. What beautiful stories
When my dad first died, he came back to me as butterflies and bees- there would always be one around me in the first weeks after his death. These days, when he does visit, he comes as a robin. He had a pal called Robbie the Robin who would visit him when gardening
My mum tends to come to me in dreams, she was there last night, looking after my last cat who died the week after she did It hadn’t occurred to me that they might hang out together, but I love that they do 
When my dad first died, he came back to me as butterflies and bees- there would always be one around me in the first weeks after his death. These days, when he does visit, he comes as a robin. He had a pal called Robbie the Robin who would visit him when gardening
My mum tends to come to me in dreams, she was there last night, looking after my last cat who died the week after she did
It hadn’t occurred to me that they might hang out together, but I love that they do Dad died at the end of November, I put my tree up the following weekend and the angel on top always faces out the window from across the room. A week later she’s facing where I sit on the sofa. I’m sure that either me or the cats knocked the tree and made her move round, but I’d like to think it was Dad checking in and keeping an eye
I'm glad I found this on here, I lost my mum early hours of this morning and I'm really struggling. I know it's still very raw. She has been in her current care home almost 10 years, multiple medical issues but main one was dementia, started declining over Xmas, got a call on Sunday to say she was no longer taking in fluids (stopped eating at Xmas) I was there every day, she was hanging on and I didn't know why 
I tried phoning people to talk to her, people visited and she was still here And it was exhausting, now me and her never had a great relationship growing up, but my brother passed away last year and she had no awareness of it, I never liked going to see her as I have huge anxiety over it and she wasn't my mum anymore. Regardless I sat and held her hand, told her it's ok to go, told her I was sorry for never visiting as often and I loved her, told her not to be scared and she'd done her work on earth and was time to sleep. She turned her head so slightly to me and I swear I saw a tear I left her at 11pm as I was exhausted and she died at 1am. I'm heartbroken and need to learn how to deal with it all. My dad has also been given a few months so I am trying to cope with this on top
I tried phoning people to talk to her, people visited and she was still here And it was exhausting, now me and her never had a great relationship growing up, but my brother passed away last year and she had no awareness of it, I never liked going to see her as I have huge anxiety over it and she wasn't my mum anymore. Regardless I sat and held her hand, told her it's ok to go, told her I was sorry for never visiting as often and I loved her, told her not to be scared and she'd done her work on earth and was time to sleep. She turned her head so slightly to me and I swear I saw a tear I left her at 11pm as I was exhausted and she died at 1am. I'm heartbroken and need to learn how to deal with it all. My dad has also been given a few months so I am trying to cope with this on top My estranged father passed away late last year, we were notified by a probate hunter who was instructed by the coroner. We buried him just before Christmas and his will was discovered when the probate hunters visited, naming my uncle as executor. I have just been contacted by the solicitor dealing with probate to say that I am a 50% beneficiary, however the balance has been left to distant step cousins in the US. I have a sister by the same father who isn’t named - any suggestions on how I approach this? It’s all been quite traumatic and this is icing on the cake..
I am so sorry for all that you have been through. Your Mum knew she was loved, you did everything and more for her.I'm glad I found this on here, I lost my mum early hours of this morning and I'm really struggling. I know it's still very raw. She has been in her current care home almost 10 years, multiple medical issues but main one was dementia, started declining over Xmas, got a call on Sunday to say she was no longer taking in fluids (stopped eating at Xmas) I was there every day, she was hanging on and I didn't know why
I have no advice I'm afraid, just to say this forum is always here for venting and a virtual shoulder to cry on
Sorry the loss of your father. Estranged or not it's an emotional and tough time.
Can the solicitor advise? Or ask ChatGPT? I used it when my Dad died last year as I just could not get my head around probate and ChatGPT explained it all in a really clear and simple way.
Your sister needs to contact the probate hunters, and quickly I'd imagine. But if she wasn't in the will, then she would likely need to contest it - and that can cost a lot of money.
Not to sound all "mumsnet" but I think I need a handhold from someone who just gets it 
I've had a day off today as I wanted to go ice skating as I feel like I just need something of my pre-grief life back. I drove to the rink and couldn't get out of the bloody car as I was just too sad.
My mum drove me and my two elder sisters to that ice rink every single day after school, attended all of our competitions and made all of our dresses. I can see her in every single corner of the rink and I have so many memories of her there. I feel so silly as I started skating again as an adult and did years of skating there without her but it just feels so different now. I can't believe how overwhelmingly silly I feel. I literally paid £2.50 in parking and couldn't bring myself to walk in!
I've had a day off today as I wanted to go ice skating as I feel like I just need something of my pre-grief life back. I drove to the rink and couldn't get out of the bloody car as I was just too sad.
My mum drove me and my two elder sisters to that ice rink every single day after school, attended all of our competitions and made all of our dresses. I can see her in every single corner of the rink and I have so many memories of her there. I feel so silly as I started skating again as an adult and did years of skating there without her but it just feels so different now. I can't believe how overwhelmingly silly I feel. I literally paid £2.50 in parking and couldn't bring myself to walk in!
It's not silly at all - sometimes the rush of feelings is too much. You can try again another day, and in the meantime look after yourselfNot to sound all "mumsnet" but I think I need a handhold from someone who just gets it
I've had a day off today as I wanted to go ice skating as I feel like I just need something of my pre-grief life back. I drove to the rink and couldn't get out of the bloody car as I was just too sad.
My mum drove me and my two elder sisters to that ice rink every single day after school, attended all of our competitions and made all of our dresses. I can see her in every single corner of the rink and I have so many memories of her there. I feel so silly as I started skating again as an adult and did years of skating there without her but it just feels so different now. I can't believe how overwhelmingly silly I feel. I literally paid £2.50 in parking and couldn't bring myself to walk in!
Not silly at all, you made it to the rink for the first time! That's a massive achievement, even if you didn't go in, you were there. It's a step forward and sometimes that's enoughNot to sound all "mumsnet" but I think I need a handhold from someone who just gets it
I've had a day off today as I wanted to go ice skating as I feel like I just need something of my pre-grief life back. I drove to the rink and couldn't get out of the bloody car as I was just too sad.
My mum drove me and my two elder sisters to that ice rink every single day after school, attended all of our competitions and made all of our dresses. I can see her in every single corner of the rink and I have so many memories of her there. I feel so silly as I started skating again as an adult and did years of skating there without her but it just feels so different now. I can't believe how overwhelmingly silly I feel. I literally paid £2.50 in parking and couldn't bring myself to walk in!