Do you mean Jim and Pam? They are characters from the American Office tv show. They are kind of seen as the dream couple
Dating in Lockdown #2 The audacity of men
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Yea
I haven’t seen the American office in a while but I’ve known who they are referring to.
I’ve been texting a hinge guy who seemed decent and he initiated the idea of going for a picnic - I thought why not! He is pretty complimentary but I didn’t think much of it but he sent this last night:
“I think you're incredible, I know we haven’t met yet, but I'm pretty good at knowing what people are like.
Here is a guy who genuinely wants to get to know you. Meet you and see where it goes. Not like the other guys you've dated but they haven't treated you like you truly deserve. I just want to know you and I'm not going to change that about me”
Ladies, why have I suddenly got the ick
“I think you're incredible, I know we haven’t met yet, but I'm pretty good at knowing what people are like.
Here is a guy who genuinely wants to get to know you. Meet you and see where it goes. Not like the other guys you've dated but they haven't treated you like you truly deserve. I just want to know you and I'm not going to change that about me”
Ladies, why have I suddenly got the ick
The first bit is a bit cheese but acceptable
It is the fact he continued for me
ICK
It is the fact he continued for me
ICKHahahaha it was actually quite a bit longer but I cut it down 
You need to ask why?I’ve been texting a hinge guy who seemed decent and he initiated the idea of going for a picnic - I thought why not! He is pretty complimentary but I didn’t think much of it but he sent this last night:
“I think you're incredible, I know we haven’t met yet, but I'm pretty good at knowing what people are like.
Here is a guy who genuinely wants to get to know you. Meet you and see where it goes. Not like the other guys you've dated but they haven't treated you like you truly deserve. I just want to know you and I'm not going to change that about me”
Ladies, why have I suddenly got the ick
Ffs gals. Call of duty boy from ick thread hasn’t said a word all weekend. I’ve jinxed it haven’t I 🥲
@anonesk223 we need more
I have questions about this. So many questions. Have you spoken about past relationship? What vibe are you getting off him?
haha I actually love this so much. Made me howlll
@anonesk223 we need more
I have questions about this. So many questions. Have you spoken about past relationship? What vibe are you getting off him?
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RunI’ve been texting a hinge guy who seemed decent and he initiated the idea of going for a picnic - I thought why not! He is pretty complimentary but I didn’t think much of it but he sent this last night:
“I think you're incredible, I know we haven’t met yet, but I'm pretty good at knowing what people are like.
Here is a guy who genuinely wants to get to know you. Meet you and see where it goes. Not like the other guys you've dated but they haven't treated you like you truly deserve. I just want to know you and I'm not going to change that about me”
Ladies, why have I suddenly got the ick
. For. The. Hills. I had a guy act like this before, the first line could have been written by him. He said how few women there were who fitted with what he wanted from a relationship, how different I was and how lucky he was to have found me, he would treasure me not like the other guys etc. etc. He was a controlling narcissist who got very angry when I did anything he didn’t deem acceptable to this idea he had in his head of a perfect woman.
For example, he threw a massive tantrum on our first date when I wouldn’t let him come home with me. He told me that I clearly didn’t trust him and needed to let my walls down because he just wanted to hold me all night and make me feel safe. I said it wasn’t a reflection on him, that I didn’t take anyone home on a first night yet he kept trying to emotional blackmail me, sulk etc. Totally ruined what had been a nice night up to that point.
His behaviour got more and more weird - all done under the guise of ‘being a nice guy’, knowing what was best for me. He genuinely felt I should just ‘comply’ with whatever he wanted to do as some kind of trust exercise.
He knew nothing about my past relationships so all these assumptions about how I’d been treated were just supposition. I have a feeling there is probably some creepy guy who has written lines to use to try and make women believe you are different and a nice guy. I’m sure it’s been said before but any man who expressly calls himself ‘a nice guy’ probably isn’t.
Sorry for having such a visceral reaction to your post, I just wish I’d listened to my instincts and if this is flagging for you then pay attention.
His first name doesn’t begin with an A does it?Hahahaha it was actually quite a bit longer but I cut it down
Obviously I don't know what conversations you have had etc, but I always wonder why guys say things like "not like the other guys you've dated" "I'll treat you the way you deserve" Why do they assume that we have all been treated poorly, people are single for lots of different reasons, In some of my experience of talking to guys online they assume you are desperate and will accept anything because you've probably been so hurt or treated bad in the past, it's strange to me.I’ve been texting a hinge guy who seemed decent and he initiated the idea of going for a picnic - I thought why not! He is pretty complimentary but I didn’t think much of it but he sent this last night:
“I think you're incredible, I know we haven’t met yet, but I'm pretty good at knowing what people are like.
Here is a guy who genuinely wants to get to know you. Meet you and see where it goes. Not like the other guys you've dated but they haven't treated you like you truly deserve. I just want to know you and I'm not going to change that about me”
Ladies, why have I suddenly got the ick
Unless you've had those particular conversations with him then I'd be asking him why he's saying that
Hmmmm. I don’t know. This sounds very disingenuous to me.I’ve been texting a hinge guy who seemed decent and he initiated the idea of going for a picnic - I thought why not! He is pretty complimentary but I didn’t think much of it but he sent this last night:
“I think you're incredible, I know we haven’t met yet, but I'm pretty good at knowing what people are like.
Here is a guy who genuinely wants to get to know you. Meet you and see where it goes. Not like the other guys you've dated but they haven't treated you like you truly deserve. I just want to know you and I'm not going to change that about me”
Ladies, why have I suddenly got the ick
Like he’s trying to flatter you by saying what he thinks you want to hear. Have you opened up to him about negative experiences you’ve had with other men you’ve dated or is he just making assumptions about how you’ve been treated?He obviously sees himself as a "nice guy". They can be the worst.I’ve been texting a hinge guy who seemed decent and he initiated the idea of going for a picnic - I thought why not! He is pretty complimentary but I didn’t think much of it but he sent this last night:
“I think you're incredible, I know we haven’t met yet, but I'm pretty good at knowing what people are like.
Here is a guy who genuinely wants to get to know you. Meet you and see where it goes. Not like the other guys you've dated but they haven't treated you like you truly deserve. I just want to know you and I'm not going to change that about me”
Ladies, why have I suddenly got the ick
Hahaha it’s just so weird. He also keeps making a point about how he’s “super chilled” ...but then got a bit funny that my next few weekends are busy with friends because he wants to see me, and says crap like this
To be fair to him I did tell him how the last guy I spoke to ended things super quickly and badly. But it was only one guy and yeah, just all seems a bit odd!
@Clickbait no it doesn’t begin with A! That sounds utterly awful though and I’m sorry you went through that it is sounding a little too similar
To be fair to him I did tell him how the last guy I spoke to ended things super quickly and badly. But it was only one guy and yeah, just all seems a bit odd!
@Clickbait no it doesn’t begin with A! That sounds utterly awful though and I’m sorry you went through that
it is sounding a little too similarIf someone says they are super chilled but makes a fuss because you have pre booked plans with friends then for me personally I'd be gone, some friends have said I can be quite cut throat and harsh, but to be honest if my gut tells me something is off then I'll listen, we all have different tolerance levels of course, but always listen to your gut feelingHahaha it’s just so weird. He also keeps making a point about how he’s “super chilled” ...but then got a bit funny that my next few weekends are busy with friends because he wants to see me, and says crap like this
To be fair to him I did tell him how the last guy I spoke to ended things super quickly and badly. But it was only one guy and yeah, just all seems a bit odd!
@Clickbait no it doesn’t begin with A! That sounds utterly awful though and I’m sorry you went through that
Obviously I don't know what conversations you have had etc, but I always wonder why guys say things like "not like the other guys you've dated" "I'll treat you the way you deserve" Why do they assume that we have all been treated poorly, people are single for lots of different reasons, In some of my experience of talking to guys online they assume you are desperate and will accept anything because you've probably been so hurt or treated bad in the past, it's strange to me.
Unless you've had those particular conversations with him then I'd be asking him why he's saying that
I agree with this!Lol I know, I was pulling your leg.
My maximum distance is set to 13 miles away. So that means I can only see profiles within 13 Miles AND it only makes my profile visible to other people within 13 miles.
It did used to let you set a height preference, so mine would be over 6’, but now they make you pay for that. So you will swipe profiles on men (or women
) from 3’ to 10’ or whatever the settings are. And that means men of all height will be able to view your profile, too. Hence someone who was 5’5 liking me.
Why is it that so many men are 5’5? I want a 6ft hunk
Edit. Just seen you have set your dealbreakers. So I don’t know why it’s bringing up people miles away.
Phew, my blood ran cold for a moment when I thought it could be the same guy. The ‘A’ guy was actually only in my life for a month (2 weeks chatting, 2 weeks after meeting) before I binned and blocked. I’ve had to deal with duck boys and arseholes in the past but never someone as dangerous as this guy. Don’t think he would have been violent, but psychologically and emotionally abusive absolutely.Hahaha it’s just so weird. He also keeps making a point about how he’s “super chilled” ...but then got a bit funny that my next few weekends are busy with friends because he wants to see me, and says crap like this
To be fair to him I did tell him how the last guy I spoke to ended things super quickly and badly. But it was only one guy and yeah, just all seems a bit odd!
@Clickbait no it doesn’t begin with A! That sounds utterly awful though and I’m sorry you went through that
He also was cross I didn’t drop existing plans to meet him. Offered to drive across the country after speaking on the app for a couple of days to take me out for lunch (as I was away visiting my family). Wanted me to consider ending a 3m work secondment I had which meant a fair bit of travel because he was worried he wouldn’t get to see enough of me. Ignored any contact on a Saturday and then flew into a rage when I read a text message on the Sunday morning and didn’t reply within 5 minutes. Totally nuts!
I wouldn’t want you to miss out on someone worth getting to know, but if you have any concerns pay attention x
Yeah so I canned him off when I realised. Cba with it, honestly
Hmmmmm. I don’t want to labour the point because I can see a few of us have said the same thing and it sounds like you’re on to what he’s doing, but I’m always very wary of people seeming to weaponise things you’ve told them about your past or bad experiences you’ve had with other men. Throwing out a subtle reminder of what happened with the last guy under the guise of telling you he’d never do the same. He sounds like a walking red flag to me. As a previous poster said, run fast and run far 
Yeah so I canned him off when I realised. Cba with it, honestly
Yeah I think that’s what I’ll do.
He literally messaged pictures and I messaged back and he hadnt read it for 3 days so I think I’ll just block and delete now. Pointless
I’m thinking of trying bumble again 
Does anyone have any recommendations for any other sites for the over 40?
Does anyone have any recommendations for any other sites for the over 40? - Status