Dating in Lockdown #2 The audacity of men

[Clickbait]

I’ve been texting a hinge guy who seemed decent and he initiated the idea of going for a picnic - I thought why not! He is pretty complimentary but I didn’t think much of it but he sent this last night:

“I think you're incredible, I know we haven’t met yet, but I'm pretty good at knowing what people are like.
Here is a guy who genuinely wants to get to know you. Meet you and see where it goes. Not like the other guys you've dated but they haven't treated you like you truly deserve. I just want to know you and I'm not going to change that about me”

Ladies, why have I suddenly got the ick

Run . For. The. Hills.

I had a guy act like this before, the first line could have been written by him. He said how few women there were who fitted with what he wanted from a relationship, how different I was and how lucky he was to have found me, he would treasure me not like the other guys etc. etc. He was a controlling narcissist who got very angry when I did anything he didn’t deem acceptable to this idea he had in his head of a perfect woman.

For example, he threw a massive tantrum on our first date when I wouldn’t let him come home with me. He told me that I clearly didn’t trust him and needed to let my walls down because he just wanted to hold me all night and make me feel safe. I said it wasn’t a reflection on him, that I didn’t take anyone home on a first night yet he kept trying to emotional blackmail me, sulk etc. Totally ruined what had been a nice night up to that point.

His behaviour got more and more weird - all done under the guise of ‘being a nice guy’, knowing what was best for me. He genuinely felt I should just ‘comply’ with whatever he wanted to do as some kind of trust exercise.

He knew nothing about my past relationships so all these assumptions about how I’d been treated were just supposition. I have a feeling there is probably some creepy guy who has written lines to use to try and make women believe you are different and a nice guy. I’m sure it’s been said before but any man who expressly calls himself ‘a nice guy’ probably isn’t.

Sorry for having such a visceral reaction to your post, I just wish I’d listened to my instincts and if this is flagging for you then pay attention.

Hahahaha it was actually quite a bit longer but I cut it down

His first name doesn’t begin with an A does it?

 

[ThreeSteaksPam]

I can't stand the "sooo how are you finding Tinder/Bumble? " style questions. Like you're asking me if I've shagged anyone from it or how many people are you actually dating then etc etc.

OMG this! I HATE it. This and “So how long you been single then lol” And even worse are the ones that ask you within the first few messages after matching.
Sorry, but what in fuck’s name does that have to do with you, strange man on the internet? What exactly are you hoping to ascertain about me as a person or our compatibility with each other by trying to draw yourself a rough timeline of when I’m last likely to have touched a penis? Be on your way immediately and never darken my notifications again

 

[alwayslurkin]

Im just indulging in chats for fun now- he doesn’t ask much about me but he wants to give me 2-3 kids if I wear (which I think is a pretty basic black dress from ASOS that’s in a photo) and all my pictures are just pretty bog standard nothing showing/wholesome. . So far got his life story and cv from his bio. How nice is this, I’m pregnant all from a message (I’m being sarcastic haha)View attachment 533927View attachment 533930View attachment 533935

This has proper given me the ick

 

[Lucyloulucy]

Oh no, I can top this. I got this corker last night I was literally pissing myself laughing in the voicenote to my sister. I have also added in the v small bio he has, they really don’t match up View attachment 538265View attachment 538264

So...what you going to do with your £500 then?

 

[alwayslurkin]

I met the guy I've been texting for a couple of weeks today! It went well and I am so happy

 

[anonesk223]

No funnily enough, no I do not

 

[sleepflowers]

Men need to tell me how I can ward off all the adventure-loving extreme sports types who have travelled the world who keep liking me because that is just Not Me at all

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

What is it with men on dating apps going on about wanting to smooch and/or cuddle before you've even met

Literally got this off a guy I’m not responding too. I said I was busy last night after ignoring a few messages and a call. It was a Monday man. The spelling alone of “wanna / want to” put me off even more lol he’s almost blocked lol

@LaurieLaurie i don’t think someone would like about possible pancreatitis but you never know

 

[ThreeSteaksPam]

My rule is I will text once and if they don’t reply oh well.

Same girl, same. I’m brutal I’d genuinely rather never speak to someone again than double text and I certainly would never ask someone why they’re ignoring me. I’m of that “It is what it is” attitude.. whatever the reason is that they’ve stopped texting, they’ve stopped texting and that’s all I really need to know

 

[Thank(space)you]

Just read the entire first thread, Im so glad I have found my people!
I've been on 5 first dates this year, 5! And absolutely nobody wanted to see me again.
I'm the constant butt of my friends jokes for how low my standards are
I'm rubbish with online dating because at the moment I just can't be bothered to entertain dusty conversations

 

[LaurieLaurie]

Was talking to another guy for a few days who was rubbish at messaging on Bumble and WhatsApp so he asked if we could speak on the phone so I said yes.

Then he just comes out with, can I come round tonight and cook you dinner. I said it's a bit short notice and I don't do first dates at houses (just my preference). He made such a big deal about how I made him feel deflated and 'I knew how to make a guy feel good '. We carried on talking for a bit and he wouldn't drop it.

He was like oh other girls have said yes. Then I was like well did you sleep together? And he was like yeah, not gonna lie, i did with one.

I hear this all the time
When I rejected one lad he sent me photos of about 7 or 8 of his ‘other options’. Go and enjoy your other girls is my response.

 

[SophSpinsSillyStories]

I spent a lot of my late twenties and early thirties on dating apps - it gave my friends lots of great content! A few things that happened:

1) A guy I was seeing announced after 9 months that he was actually trans - we stayed friends and a few years later, I took him to the hospital for his gender reassignment surgery.

2) I went for dinner with a chap and he burped in my face, when I asked him not to do that he said ‘if you don’t like it, feel free to leave’ - so I did.

3) One guy started crying in the middle of the date saying how much he’d missed his ex girlfriend.

4) After a few months of dating, a dude booked us a weekend away in a log cabin in the middle of nowhere. We’d had dinner and a couple of bottles of wine - a good night was being had. He kept disappearing into the bedroom so I followed him in and saw that he was doing cocaine (in a log cabin, in the middle of nowhere....... pretty sad really). I wasn’t too happy but didn’t really make a thing of it, but gradually over the night he got really aggressive end we ended up having a major row. I’d been drinking so couldn’t exactly leave so I sat up all night until I felt relatively sober (was still probably over the limit though) and left. I’d left my watch there and I never got it back. Arsehole.

5) Ended up on a date with a proper fitty - mid way through the date it became apparent that his ex wife was the woman that my ex had had a 15 month relationship with behind my back (the reason why we’d broken up). After much questioning to see whether it had been a set up, I accepted that it was just a massive coincidence, the date had no idea that his ex had been cheating on him. She’d monumentally screwed him on the divorce too and he’d left with literally nothing (they had no kids) so he was devastated to find out that she’d been having an affair all along. He was a really nice guy, we saw each other for a bit - my ex looked like Humpty Dumpty and he was an absolute sex God - she massively downgraded when she shacked up with my loser ex.

Not all bad though - in amongst the ghosting, the mind games etc, I met my now husband on POF of all places.

 

[D_Wills]

I really really struggle to pluck up the courage to go on that first date. I need your help guys! I feel like I've been a bit of a prick tease over the last year since being single. I've had a decent connection with a few guys, chat for weeks but then the thought of meeting up with them makes me feel SO nervous and I close up and then potentially lose something that could have been good. Honestly, I was seeing a guy for a few months last year and it genuinely took me about 4 months before we met
Someone I was talking to for a long time last year and who I had a real good connection with, to the point we were sexting (but then I chickened out and he understandably backed off), messaged me at the weekend and I felt like it was meant to be after having a shitty time with another guy, I was straight away up for meeting and he was like "I'm not gonna let you get away this time lol" but already I am freaking out!! He wanted to meet up this afternoon and I've given excuses and bottled it. I envy how you girls casually go on dates. I am so socially awkward and hate being 1 on 1 with people. How do you do it!

Update! I'm meeting this guy tonight! Excuse me while I'm sitting here shitting myself
I'll report back later!

 

[aimz_yeah]

On the subject of kids I actually find it really uncomfortable when kids get plastered all over dating profiles. Kind of a "oh look at me and what a doting dad I am". I think kids should be kept private (as in their photos) and not online for 10s of women to swipe on each day. You can easily make it clear you have kids without pictures of them

 

[LaurieLaurie]

 

[LaurieLaurie]

Aww.. The lad I’m seeing has given me his favourite footy top to keep He knows I always fancy him in it and he even gave it a hand wash

I’m like when Dobbie was given a sock Most easily pleased girl

 

[ThreeSteaksPam]

I couldn’t not post... add this to the list of immediate unmatch criteria along with “So how long u been single then lol” and the emoji in general.

 

[misscl4]

David is 37

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

Me - I’m going to be spending the month of may with my friends outside and doing the reverse lockdown.

Also me- just went on a walking date. ended up there for 2 and a half hours.
Have another on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. with different men

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

Lol just out of interest does this guys name begin with a D and from London? His text response and plan for a canal walk sounds v similar ahaha