Which one is Adam?
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Dunno mate. Maybe shes on a different series 
He’s Northern, been single for years? Great body but just seems really sweet. He’s a baby though.
Oh not my type at all I’m sure he’s gutted. You can have him babe
Ahh all the good girls have gone to bed.
Night gang, I love you even if no one else does
Night gang, I love you even if no one else does
I'm so grateful not to be on the dating seen, I was widowed at the early age of 47. Widowship gives you a sad but unique advantage, you've not been rejected is the main one. Indeed TWO people soon after my husband of 26 years died told me I was I was LUCKY not to have been replaced by another, forgetting that not only I was grieving, so was my still in his teens son.
I can still remember the pain of dating, and can still remember the downsides of a long term relationship (for me). I am post menopausal. I am happy to be on my own rather than in bad company.
I appreciate I am coming from my own perspective. I wish you all looking for a prince amongst the frogs the very best of luck xx
I can still remember the pain of dating, and can still remember the downsides of a long term relationship (for me). I am post menopausal. I am happy to be on my own rather than in bad company.
I appreciate I am coming from my own perspective. I wish you all looking for a prince amongst the frogs the very best of luck xx
I was wondering if you lovely ladies could give me your views on my predicament?
I have known this guy for 10years, from my local. Used to have a laugh, but we were both married. One night he got pissed and told me he was obsessed with me Thought I was gorgeous but obviously both being married nothing could happen.
My marriage wasn't great,, husband is quite emotionally abusive.
He got divorced about 7 years ago, I left my husband a few years back but then stupidly gave him a second chance as he promised things would change.
They didn't and I have now told my husband we need to divorce but it's going to be hard sorting out finances etc
So I bumped into this guy a few weeks ago, got chatting. He has a girlfriend now but told me she isn't the one (I know don't flame me)
He started messaging me, just general chat that then got quite flirty, then very dirty! We FaceTimed and had what I guess you would call virtual sex. He has the most amazing body and is very very sexy. Told me he wanted to hold and kiss and make love to me. That he had never cheated on his girlfriend but he always had a thing for me and couldn't believe his luck that I was now available. He said he would sort things out so we could meet up.
He is quite fragile as he nursed his dying mum a few years back and when she passed it did mess him up a lot.
So I messaged him the other day. He replied that this was wrong, he had to respect his girlfriend and he needed to block me.
I just don't understand?? I feel quite upset by it all. I know it's probably for the best as I have a divorce to sort out but it was such a good feeling being wanted by someone and I feel slightly heartbroken.
I have known this guy for 10years, from my local. Used to have a laugh, but we were both married. One night he got pissed and told me he was obsessed with me Thought I was gorgeous but obviously both being married nothing could happen.
My marriage wasn't great,, husband is quite emotionally abusive.
He got divorced about 7 years ago, I left my husband a few years back but then stupidly gave him a second chance as he promised things would change.
They didn't and I have now told my husband we need to divorce but it's going to be hard sorting out finances etc
So I bumped into this guy a few weeks ago, got chatting. He has a girlfriend now but told me she isn't the one (I know don't flame me)
He started messaging me, just general chat that then got quite flirty, then very dirty! We FaceTimed and had what I guess you would call virtual sex. He has the most amazing body and is very very sexy. Told me he wanted to hold and kiss and make love to me. That he had never cheated on his girlfriend but he always had a thing for me and couldn't believe his luck that I was now available. He said he would sort things out so we could meet up.
He is quite fragile as he nursed his dying mum a few years back and when she passed it did mess him up a lot.
So I messaged him the other day. He replied that this was wrong, he had to respect his girlfriend and he needed to block me.
I just don't understand?? I feel quite upset by it all. I know it's probably for the best as I have a divorce to sort out but it was such a good feeling being wanted by someone and I feel slightly heartbroken.
Maybe he wants his cake and eat it too? Or maybe he's confused because he's got feelings for you both? I hope you're not besting yourself up too much
So you need to separate some of these things out - looking at them all at once will probably overwhelm the sanest person.
This man: well honestly, I think you know he’s a chancer and maybe the lovable rogue character. You were flattered by his attention years ago but were sensible not to pursue it. He caught you at a vulnerable time, and now it seems he’s satisfied his curiosity and I would imagine knows he has you on the hook suddenly his gf is really important to respect.
I don’t need to tell you that having any involvement with someone in a relationship puts you on shaky ground. Whatever you’re told about the relationship is what you choose to believe when you like/fancy/fall for someone. I know because I wasted 4 years of my life on a man who told me his relationship was over. You have to look at the actions not the words - if the gf is still in the picture it’s because he still wants to be in a relationship with her.
The fact he stated he never cheated on her seems to be an unnecessary detail. I would imagine this is not his first rodeo and it’s likely not only has he cheated on his gf but that it was probably done to his wife as well. I’m not saying that to make you feel bad - he’s clearly a bit of a manipulator: he’s already got you making excuses for him - his mother’s death although sad has nothing to do with him cheating on his gf and leading you on.
As you said you have a lot on your plate with your divorce and getting involved with someone else may not be good timing for that being processed smoothly. If your ex got wind of it might it impact on how assets are divided?
I would try and take what happened with the FaceTime guy as a sexual release and an ego boost and leave it as that. Perhaps you’ve been worn down by your husband and made to feel undesirable, but this proves that is far from the case. Just don’t waste your time moving forwards on cheating men with empty promises. You deserve more.
Thank you so much for your reply, makes a lot of sense. It was so nice to feel desired and I guess I had my rose tinted glasses on for a while.
Now I do feel kind of used by him and it makes me feel a bit cheap. How all of a sudden he needed to respect the gf. I honestly didn't feel great about the fact he was with someone but thought that he would finish it with her as he had be convinced I was the girl for him.
My husband has worn me down and I used to think I would just be on my own. I know realise I am desirable and I want to be in a loving, sexual relationship
I'm bound to bump into this guy at some point, when he has had a drink he is all over me with compliments. How do you think I should react?
I understand why you’d feel used, because sadly you were used. But don’t let yourself be fooled again is my best advice. Trust me, when I look back at all the lies and excuses I listened to and all the times I defended him to my friends I cringe. He hasn’t stopped cheating - when I saw him last as friends he’d just been busted cheating on her (now his wife) whilst she was pregnant with their second child
If you see him again I’d act like nothing ever happened. Be civil, enjoy a joke but don’t get drawn in. This will likely infuriate him and I’m sure he’ll be after another FaceTime session because they want what they can’t have. He might even be able to organise a face-to-face session. You will then have your power back. It is a wonderful thing to see the expression on that person’s face when they realise you’re no longer the pushover they thought you were. Savour it!
ETA: Look forward to if things were different and he did end things with his gf - do you think you could trust him?
I think you should focus on yourself first and then enter the dating scene. Once you are chatting to a few guys and see that you have more than one option this guy will not be your main focus anymore and things will be lighter. And then you see what happens.
You are so right, probably not. I just thought I was special to him but I guess that's what they do isn't it??I understand why you’d feel used, because sadly you were used. But don’t let yourself be fooled again is my best advice. Trust me, when I look back at all the lies and excuses I listened to and all the times I defended him to my friends I cringe. He hasn’t stopped cheating - when I saw him last as friends he’d just been busted cheating on her (now his wife) whilst she was pregnant with their second child
If you see him again I’d act like nothing ever happened. Be civil, enjoy a joke but don’t get drawn in. This will likely infuriate him and I’m sure he’ll be after another FaceTime session because they want what they can’t have. He might even be able to organise a face-to-face session. You will then have your power back. It is a wonderful thing to see the expression on that person’s face when they realise you’re no longer the pushover they thought you were. Savour it!
ETA: Look forward to if things were different and he did end things with his gf - do you think you could trust him?
ETA sorry you went through that
Thank youYou are so right, probably not. I just thought I was special to him but I guess that's what they do isn't it??
ETA sorry you went through that
I honestly think meeting him was a sliding doors moment for me and my life would be very different had I have avoided him. But fortunately I’m in a loving relationship now with someone who always puts me first and would never cheat on me xYou are letting yourself think you were used though. Did you enjoy it? Did you get something from it?
It was a bit of sexting and virtual sex. You both had fun.
You got an an ego boost and you also found out really early on that the guy is a fool. Draw a line under it.
Focus on yourself and your divorce. Plenty of time for disastrous dating (and some really nice dating) once you are in a better place and less vulnerable
It was amazing, definitely stirred something inside me that I thought was gone forever!You are letting yourself think you were used though. Did you enjoy it? Did you get something from it?
It was a bit of sexting and virtual sex. You both had fun.
You got an an ego boost and you also found out really early on that the guy is a fool. Draw a line under it.
Focus on yourself and your divorce. Plenty of time for disastrous dating (and some really nice dating) once you are in a better place and less vulnerable
Great.. take that positive from it. He was a practice run!
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Ahh Marj, sending you so much love darling.
@Clickbait bleeping hell you’re good!
Gang, I’ve got my initial session with Relate today, wish me luck. In other news, I STILL haven’t had a response to my tit pic!
But he is supposed to be calling me later today so I’m on the clock countdown….only 6 hours to go. Hopefully he wasn’t too repulsed.- Status