Dating after lockdown #8 Tinder, completed it!

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Savewaterdrinkgin

I can’t help but read that in Jay’s voice from the inbetweeners (something about a game and he says completed it mate for those who don’t know it)

can anyone advise how to approach the relationship subject clearly? I’ve dropped hints that I want to know if we have a label or not but he seems to avoid it. I’m not sure if that’s rejection or what to be honest. We’ve known each other a few months and been seeing each other for around a month. I don’t know where I stand with him and any sign of emotion he claims up! Too soon maybe?
 
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LaurieLaurie

I think it’s still early days.. I’d go with the flow and enjoy it without putting any pressure on but if you want to know where you stand stop dropping hints and just ask him.
 
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ATV2021

Well I feel like total utter shit. Basically dumped me saying no spark. Funny when he was saying things to me it seemed like there was.

I'm not going back on the apps. I feel like a total utter fucking idiot for trusting a guy could actually like me. I'm not ugly. I'm not horrible. I'm actually so caring and will put anyone before myself. I'd been single for long enough to know I deserved love now but here we are.

I feel sick and upset and I'm so pissed off with myself
 
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LaurieLaurie

Be glad he’s gone but don’t let him stop you from finding someone else.
You had anxiety the whole time he was there and shouldn’t have been waiting around wondering when he was going to text you. Next time you get that vibe from a man.. Remove yourself because when someone is interested in you they will be talking to you every day.
 
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ATV2021

I know but I'm genuinely not looking for anyone. I've had someone in the past who text me every morning/during day etc and he dumped me aswell saying no spark. This guy said he deleted apps/we were only seeing each other etc etc like a bloody week ago!! I feel so used....again. I'm just gonna resign to single life as I cannot get hurt and guess that means I'm to bow out of this thread too
 
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whathastheworldcometo

No, don't leave the thread
 
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ATV2021

whathastheworldcometo said:
No, don't leave the thread
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I won't be dating again for a very long time, if ever tbh. I'm a sensitive little soul and I'd let my guard down here and still got hurt. I cannot physically tolerate more loss and pain in my life after what I've been through so this hurts more than it probably would for other people
 
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LaurieLaurie

You haven’t been used. It’s the dating world.

They all talk shit at the beginning, it’s brand new and fresh. It’s a tough lesson to learn but you can have a few dates and change your mind about perusing someone. He barely any effort beyond those first few dates so he’s no loss to you.
 
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ATV2021

Well it's a world I don't think I'll be able to deal with if I'm honest. Loss of any kind really affects me now having lost the most important person in my life. I am so lonely. My friends are evidently useless and even in friendships it seems to be me chasing them. I must be a god awful person and not realise it
 
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Ohheyyyyy

Reading your posts breaks my heart because we are so similar
 
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Captainmouse

Don’t bow out I’m not on the apps, never taken a selfie in my life so no chance

judge judy dealing with a case, a couple met via POF, he said they were exclusive, she discovered he was still on the apps, his excuse, he couldn’t work out how to leave
 

ATV2021

Ohheyyyyy said:
Reading your posts breaks my heart because we are so similar
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I haven't been able to stop crying and I'm getting annoyed but I can't help it. I just want someone to give a shit about me. That's all I ask for. I don't want someone OTT I just want someone to care.
 
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Clickbait

Sorry to hear that but you’ve done nothing wrong bar fail to read the signs that this man was an arsehole and to go back for more despite him waving his red flags in your face.

I am sure you have a kind heart and a lot of love to give - don’t waste your time on anyone who isn’t worth it. That includes friends who don’t make any effort.

It strikes me that you are probably too fragile to be dating at the moment anyway - the devastation you are feeling is not proportional to the situation. If you’re having a hard time dealing with loss and emotions you should consider pursuing some counselling. If you’re not happy in yourself it shines through in your interactions with others.
 
Reactions: 21

HelloStereo

ATV2021 said:
I haven't been able to stop crying and I'm getting annoyed but I can't help it. I just want someone to give a shit about me. That's all I ask for. I don't want someone OTT I just want someone to care.
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I've seen some of your older posts as well on the previous dating threads and sometimes even without the dating stresses you seem unhappy sometimes? I remember one post you said your whole life was "shite"...

I don't think getting into a relationship or finding someone is going to make you 100% happy, and it seems like dating and trying to find someone is just making you miserable. Maybe you should take a break from it and work on your own happiness and then see how you feel?
 
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ATV2021

Tbh I've always taken rejection badly. Guess that stems from being bullied for so long. I've tried various forms of counselling but for whatever reason they don't seem to work for me. I have a few friends but they're always busy and it's just me who's lonely and alone

I did. I was single for like....5 years as spent all my time with my Mum and spent time healing after that and was genuinely happy being single. My life feels shite because of what's happened in it but I can't change that. I don't get sad about that anymore. I'm just lonely
 
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HelloStereo

So did you actually like the guy who said he didn't feel a spark, or just the thought of having someone in your life and not feeling lonely any more?
 
Reactions: 3
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