Depends what his conditions say/are.I would personally report because imo as soon as he knew you had children he should of ended that conversation
. Even if it’s just making them aware.
Dating after lockdown #35 Merry-go-round indeed - I'd like to get off!
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Depends what his conditions say/are.I would personally report because imo as soon as he knew you had children he should of ended that conversation
. Even if it’s just making them aware.
It’s VERY telling, that this is the only thing about this situation that was commented on.respectfully, wtaf?!
@Olgivy thank you for posting that video. She’s exactly right, they’ve turned into those addictive silly little games like candy crush etc. don’t get me wrong I do still think there are genuine people on the apps and there is still a small possibility of meeting someone but I think that gets smaller every day. I don’t think that law suit will do anything, they’re going to continue the way the are aren’t they. I guess it’s just people choosing not to use them/pay for them that will hit them where it hurts.
@Jadejones9596 don’t be so hard on yourself, you’re a good person to give him another chance but he’s shown you twice now that he’s not worth it so please don’t waste any time on him again.
@Thank(space)you I’m so sorry this happened. Your friend is crappy. She clearly wanted to spend time with her boyfriend over you so lied about there being a friend. Then not only were you third wheeling (which she’ll have clearly known about) she then goes on to disrespect you further and have sex in your place?! wtf. This isn’t a friend and please make sure you stand up for yourself here and set some boundaries. Make sure you tell her how not ok this is.
@Crazy87 I’m so sorry this happened to you. I would 100% be as freaked out as you and be obsessing over the “what ifs” because ultimately this could have been REAL bad. If he’s got a prevention order it’s likely he’ll have a clause in there that he has to tell probation about any new relationships but obviously not all of them adhere to that. So it’s possible if you hadn’t of googled you might not have found out. This is the scary thing about the apps, you really have no clue who you’re speaking to and I know that can be said if you meet someone in person but it just feels like it’s easier for them to do on the apps. I too google everyone, the last guy I went on a date with I had a funny feeling but couldn’t find anything online but he actually told me on the date he’d been in prison (not, as far as I’m aware for sex offences but don’t think he told me the whole truth about why). I didn’t see him again as it’s not for me - I fully believe people can turn their lives around (after certain offences) but it’s a non-negotiable for me. Take some time out of dating to heal from this because it’s going to impact you for a while I think. You’ll be hyper vigilant and non-trusting so please do just have a break away, be thankful that you found out now and not later down the line and take care of yourself xx
@Jadejones9596 don’t be so hard on yourself, you’re a good person to give him another chance but he’s shown you twice now that he’s not worth it so please don’t waste any time on him again.
@Thank(space)you I’m so sorry this happened. Your friend is crappy. She clearly wanted to spend time with her boyfriend over you so lied about there being a friend. Then not only were you third wheeling (which she’ll have clearly known about) she then goes on to disrespect you further and have sex in your place?! wtf. This isn’t a friend and please make sure you stand up for yourself here and set some boundaries. Make sure you tell her how not ok this is.
@Crazy87 I’m so sorry this happened to you. I would 100% be as freaked out as you and be obsessing over the “what ifs” because ultimately this could have been REAL bad. If he’s got a prevention order it’s likely he’ll have a clause in there that he has to tell probation about any new relationships but obviously not all of them adhere to that. So it’s possible if you hadn’t of googled you might not have found out. This is the scary thing about the apps, you really have no clue who you’re speaking to and I know that can be said if you meet someone in person but it just feels like it’s easier for them to do on the apps. I too google everyone, the last guy I went on a date with I had a funny feeling but couldn’t find anything online but he actually told me on the date he’d been in prison (not, as far as I’m aware for sex offences but don’t think he told me the whole truth about why). I didn’t see him again as it’s not for me - I fully believe people can turn their lives around (after certain offences) but it’s a non-negotiable for me. Take some time out of dating to heal from this because it’s going to impact you for a while I think. You’ll be hyper vigilant and non-trusting so please do just have a break away, be thankful that you found out now and not later down the line and take care of yourself xx
Honestly I'm so tempted to start organising single nights for people who are sick of the apps.
There must be dozens of us, dozens!
But fr, so many people tell me the same thing - the apps are horrible, they'd like to meet IRL and feel the spark, they hate the devaluation that's going on on both sides etc.
There must be dozens of us, dozens!
But fr, so many people tell me the same thing - the apps are horrible, they'd like to meet IRL and feel the spark, they hate the devaluation that's going on on both sides etc.
Thank you everyone for the kind words & I am sorry for posting the drunken update.
I know I'm a people pleasure and have issues setting boundaries & this is a perfect example of them!
I know I'm a people pleasure and have issues setting boundaries & this is a perfect example of them!
Don’t turn this back on you! Your ‘friend’ will of known this and chose to abuse that. It’s wrong. She should not have done any of that.
the bleeping audacity I am actually angry for you!
There is no need to say sorry! The only person who should be apologizing is your crappy friend and her equally crappy bf. Are these the same ones who were shagging next to you in bed previously? I kind of hope so because otherwise you've got 2 awful friends which is worse. But whether it's one friend or 2, please just tell them this is not on, and that it will not happen again. Tbh I'd be tempted to just cut all ties but that's because I'm old now and never go out. When I was younger I was a lot more tolerant of crap behaviour in friendships (and relationships) because it felt like the price I had to pay to avoid being a lonely single parent.
I agree btw with everything @LaBlonde said above, you do seem like such a nice person and this is exactly why these people will take advantage. We all have your back though
That’s not your friend girl.
been talking to a guy all week really funny and lots in common. Agreed to meet tomorrow but he’s gone hasn’t unmatched just silent. I don’t even know why it’s so annoying@Thank(space)you I have not been able to read your drunken update but from what I’ve read, that person is not your friend! I have to agree with @IGiveUp22 before I even read her post I was thinking that too, this person clearly didn’t want to come over to yours for the planned catch up, wanted to spend time with her bf instead, so invented a single friend of his so she doesn’t come across as bad. Disgustingly selfish of her to do that knowing you would be three wheeling and then to use your sofa after.
I know it’s easy said than done, from your posts you sound so caring and a people pleaser which just confirms again how kind you are but please stop entertaining and accept this kind of behaviour from people who call themselves your friend. This is NOT what friends do. Sending hugs xx
I know it’s easy said than done, from your posts you sound so caring and a people pleaser which just confirms again how kind you are but please stop entertaining and accept this kind of behaviour from people who call themselves your friend. This is NOT what friends do. Sending hugs xx
Surprisingly different friends in those scenariosThere is no need to say sorry! The only person who should be apologizing is your crappy friend and her equally crappy bf. Are these the same ones who were shagging next to you in bed previously? I kind of hope so because otherwise you've got 2 awful friends which is worse. But whether it's one friend or 2, please just tell them this is not on, and that it will not happen again. Tbh I'd be tempted to just cut all ties but that's because I'm old now and never go out. When I was younger I was a lot more tolerant of crap behaviour in friendships (and relationships) because it felt like the price I had to pay to avoid being a lonely single parent.
I agree btw with everything @LaBlonde said above, you do seem like such a nice person and this is exactly why these people will take advantage. We all have your back though
Aunty here again. You have the awareness, but seem to lack the inclination to make changes. Why do you think this is? What fears come up for you when you think about setting boundaries? X
On my way home from my date with TV guy. We truly had a lovely day together - literally a whole day date, like 9 hours of date!
We met in a town we both love (and he knows much better than I do) and we spent the day walking, popping in and out of cafes and bookshops, he took me out for lunch and then for wine. Picked up the bills without being flashy, just a gentleman.
We didn’t stop laughing and chatting, it felt really good and wholesome!
Big hugs and a kiss, but not a kiss kiss. We will definitely see eachother again, but we need to figure it out as it’s very long distance…maybe too far.
I need to relax into it and go slow with this.
But he’s really lovely and it felt really safe and non-exciting which is what I wanted. Like someone said the other day - I’m not after butterflies, I want a calm nervous system! But he’s really handsome and fun and likeable. We will see…
We met in a town we both love (and he knows much better than I do) and we spent the day walking, popping in and out of cafes and bookshops, he took me out for lunch and then for wine. Picked up the bills without being flashy, just a gentleman.
We didn’t stop laughing and chatting, it felt really good and wholesome!
Big hugs and a kiss, but not a kiss kiss. We will definitely see eachother again, but we need to figure it out as it’s very long distance…maybe too far.
I need to relax into it and go slow with this.
But he’s really lovely and it felt really safe and non-exciting which is what I wanted. Like someone said the other day - I’m not after butterflies, I want a calm nervous system! But he’s really handsome and fun and likeable. We will see…
Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to reply me I do really appreciate it.
Loads of love
thank you. I’m sorry I know I just jumped in here and I hope eventually I can be apart of this thread. From what I’ve half seen I know other people have been going through things also and would like to help when I feel up to itLoads of love
I really hope you’re ok. It must’ve been a huge shock and really shaken you up.
As a positive it’s a reminder to us all to listen to our instincts
I hope it’s ok to post this here…
Two kind of related topics here. I’ve decided that today is my last drink. I can’t say forever but I’m not enjoying the relationship I have had with alcohol over the past year or so. I wouldn’t say I’m an alcoholic but it’s definitely no good for me as once I start I can’t stop… so today I am stopping.
That said, I cannot remember the last time I had sex sober. I’ve been single for a while and was kind of with someone for a couple of months last year so I guess it would be then. But I’ve dated two people since and have no recollection of having sex with them at all. Once I know I instigated it but the other… well let’s just say I felt very taken advantage of.
I’ve now been talking to someone for a while (known him for about 25 years but not well). He’s been over to mine a few times and we’ve had a kiss and a bit of a fumble but has always been drinking so didn’t take it further (I’m so glad this one is respectful). But I know next time I see him it’s going to happen… I’m just really shy when I’m sober and feel like I’m going to make a fool of myself! (Firstly I need to pluck up the courage to actually invite him over!)
Don’t really know what I’m asking here but any words of support or encouragement would be really helpful!
Two kind of related topics here. I’ve decided that today is my last drink. I can’t say forever but I’m not enjoying the relationship I have had with alcohol over the past year or so. I wouldn’t say I’m an alcoholic but it’s definitely no good for me as once I start I can’t stop… so today I am stopping.
That said, I cannot remember the last time I had sex sober. I’ve been single for a while and was kind of with someone for a couple of months last year so I guess it would be then. But I’ve dated two people since and have no recollection of having sex with them at all. Once I know I instigated it but the other… well let’s just say I felt very taken advantage of.
I’ve now been talking to someone for a while (known him for about 25 years but not well). He’s been over to mine a few times and we’ve had a kiss and a bit of a fumble but has always been drinking so didn’t take it further (I’m so glad this one is respectful). But I know next time I see him it’s going to happen… I’m just really shy when I’m sober and feel like I’m going to make a fool of myself! (Firstly I need to pluck up the courage to actually invite him over!)
Don’t really know what I’m asking here but any words of support or encouragement would be really helpful!
Very similar history. I think I drank so I could tolerate sex and fit in/be wanted. Didn't work. Then about six years ago I met someone I absolutely had chemistry with and I didn't think of drinking such was my desire to connect with him. Ok it didn't work out but it made me realise I was using sex to find (get) love in the past and it had been a delusion on my part. Also, yes a lot of men only took happy to partake when you're vulnerable. Good luck.
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* too happy
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* too happy
I was exactly the same until about 6 months ago. I’ve had long term relationships and don’t remember having sex sober for about 5 or so years. I’m seeing someone at the moment and had sex sober twice and it is SO much better. Have you told him that you’ve not had sex sober for a while? I was honest and said it.
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