wish me luck! HahaThat's awful. I'm so sorry. Sending a massive virtual hug. I hope you're OK.
Thank you, still in shock really and he doesn’t know I know. I really hope he doesn’t contact me again
Did he do anything wrong tho we were talking? he never mentioned kids at all. it’s not like the offence was just a one off tho he had sex with 3 different minors he has a SHPO and will be on the register for life. I think all this has just hit me how bad it could have been.
Well the friend didn't exist, so I spent an awful night as a third wheelMy friend just called me & asked what I was doing. I reminded her she was coming over for a catch up.she said there's been a change of plan and we are now going on a double date! The guy she's dating has a single friend and suggested we all meet up tonight. So I've no clue who I'm meeting later
what the duck? It was just a lie to get her there? I bet he thought he’d get a threesome
True story: I use to know someone who worked for a phone chat/text company, who owned a dating site. Her role was to pretend to be a woman looking for love on a dating site. She had a fake profile, bio, etc. She had to keep men talking in the DMs, so that they would keep paying for coins. The coins paid for the messages. Moral of the story: The game has always been rigged. Dating sites are absolutely like weight loss companies. They don’t want anyone to find love, because their business is keeping people hopeful about finding love. It’s a predatory business, and always will be.
I don’t have any advice other than delete the apps and be kind to yourself. You’re worth so much more than dusty dickheads.
So Olgivy is now going to put her Aunty hat on. Why have you accepted this treatment? Because this is what this is, acceptance. You allowed a below average man to slow fade you, and now you are allowing your friend to disrespect you in your own home. Go downstairs, and tell her to get her tit, and get the duck out of your house. This would make me furious. You need to find your anger because you are going to have people walking all over you. You are above these people. They are not worth your energy, neither do they deserve to be in your sacred space. Find your power. It’s there, ready for you take it.
seconding this.
Thank you I just massively appreciate your kind words so thank you for messaging and deleting the apps is most certainly great advice
xActually do it though. Did you talk this through with your therapist before you invited him over? And also, please don’t invite men you don’t know into your home.Thank you I just massively appreciate your kind words so thank you for messaging and deleting the apps is most certainly great advice
Aunty hat on again. What can we learn from this experience? Before, when he said he couldn’t feel the spark, he was trying to train you. He was trying to manipulate you into pleasing him. When he came over last night, and sat with his arms folded, it was because he was hoping you would try to please him. He was hoping you would initiate sex. Can you see that? He is trying to TRAIN you. So when you don’t bend easily, he goes back to being cold. Because he knows you need the validation, and will try to get in his good books again. This is now a pattern of behaviour. Patterns lead to insights. He will do this again and again with you, if you allow it. If you accept it. Don’t accept it. This behaviour is his BEST behaviour. It’s going to get worse. Because this man is abusive. He hasn’t even bothered to love bomb you, he has just decided to forge straight ahead with devaluing you. Girl, you are worth so much more than this. Also, is this a second date? Why have you let this dangerous man in your home so quickly? Work on being an empowered woman first. If you have low self esteem, you should not be dating as you will only attract men who will harm you. I know it’s hard and you want to be loved, but this is not it. Block him.
Nail on the head once again @Olgivy. My ex was like this. Blow hot and cold and the cold I see now from your message was exactly because he was trying to get me in line, bring me to his way of doing things, and I couldn't do it because (a) it was a new relationship and I was still getting to know him and (b) when I really think about it I just want feeling it. I remember when I met him irl I was disappointed, I just didn't fancy him! But on paper he was my ideal...same views and interests, humour, good job, self sufficient, etc. but there was no spark for me but i fought it rather than trusting my gut. But yes he turned out to be a manipulative person and it was his way or he'd kick off and I'd get the silent treatment followed by the nastiest words I've ever experienced from a man who allegedly loved me and was mad about me.
Don’t be hard on yourself, because you spoke to him for a month before you went to Google. Be proud of yourself that you listened to your gut instinct. A lot of women do not trust themselves and end up in danger (this used to be me). Block the nonce everywhere to make sure he can’t contact you again.
This is AWFUL!!!! I am so so so so so so sorry! Also that’s so disrespectful of them. That’s no friend of yours x
