Dating after lockdown #31 More ghosts than a cemetery!

[Clementine]

@Clementine Did you end up getting your book back?

Ha! No. Haven’t spoken to him in over a week.

I’d given him some grace as he works shift work and said on our first date, he’ll have a week where he disappears due to this. duck him though, I’m deleting his number. No more lending books to men! Especially books I hadn’t even read

So weary.

 

[triesherbest]

I hate how easily attached I get, I keep thinking about how good my date was Friday and keep having to remind myself to take him off the pedestal because realistically I don't actually know him

You're just like me

 

[Former_Antelopee]

I just signed up for a dating app. Never had a boyfriend (embrassed) as never been confident enough to try (still not) but got to try at least. I just automatically rejecting a lot as I know they’d not be interested. Also too picky as I rejected someone because they had a beagle

 

[Thank(space)you]

I just signed up for a dating app. Never had a boyfriend (embrassed) as never been confident enough to try (still not) but got to try at least. I just automatically rejecting a lot as I know they’d not be interested. Also too picky as I rejected someone because they had a beagle

Nothing wrong with being picky!

 

[NinaStar90]

Need some words of strength. Not dated anyone since 2015. Started chatting to a lovely guy end of May. Tried really hard to meet but we live in different areas. Spoke daily. Then Thursday- ghosted. Just before I'm meant to go meet him this week.

He's sent a few really short tempered replies but I've refrained from bombarding him so just given up really. No idea what i did wrong. Just so fed up that after all these years I get excited then it's for nothing. Why bother?

 

[Rach472]

Hi folks. Thought I'd join this thread, having a hard time! Recently separated from my husband as I found out a while back he had a secret life seeing prostitutes for years including during my 2 rounds of ivf, pregnancy and beyond, up till I caught him out. Eventually gave things another go for the sake of our child but obviously it was far too much to forgive. Been checked out mentally for a long time and a couple of weeks ago started online dating again.
Met a guy who just ticked my boxes on all levels, so much in common, v intelligent, took me out on a wonderful first date which was everything I could've hoped for. But I had a busy day one day and didn't message as much and he immediately accused me of getting weird and pulling away. Got me quite riled as there's nothing more triggering for me than a guy who makes assumptions about my thoughts and I said he was being too intense and I needed a bit of space. So that was the end of that he basically said, bye, nice knowing you and now won't speak to me.
Logically I know I'm best off without him and it wouldn't have worked if he was going to be so uncompromising but I'm bleeping wrecked over it and so annoyed at myself, I can't stop thinking about him and that I've missed my chance at something really good.
So I'm back online with a vengeance and have got all the apps going. But no-one bleeping measures up to him. I'm so sad and raging at myself for being like this after knowing a guy for 10 days, I'm too smart for this!
So many guys with profiles just saying they don't know what to write and just ask anything you want to know. Why would I be curious when you are giving nothing! Also these sites want you to pay for everything now its so tit!
Sorry for the long first post but can't tell anyone I know or they'll hhink I've lost the plot.
---

Need some words of strength. Not dated anyone since 2015. Started chatting to a lovely guy end of May. Tried really hard to meet but we live in different areas. Spoke daily. Then Thursday- ghosted. Just before I'm meant to go meet him this week.

He's sent a few really short tempered replies but I've refrained from bombarding him so just given up really. No idea what i did wrong. Just so fed up that after all these years I get excited then it's for nothing. Why bother?

Oh no! I absolutely feel your pain, it's horrible when you let yourself get butterflies and it all comes to nothing. I am not the person to give advice but if he can't communicate properly it was a road to nowhere . Still tit though, sending hugs x

 

[Dogtanian]

Need some words of strength. Not dated anyone since 2015. Started chatting to a lovely guy end of May. Tried really hard to meet but we live in different areas. Spoke daily. Then Thursday- ghosted. Just before I'm meant to go meet him this week.

He's sent a few really short tempered replies but I've refrained from bombarding him so just given up really. No idea what i did wrong. Just so fed up that after all these years I get excited then it's for nothing. Why bother?

Short tempered replies from someone you've never met? I'd tell him to GTFO. Dodged a bullet there imo.

 

[Universal]

Just checking in to say take all of the @Clickbait advice to those who are dating.

Me? I've decided I just hate everyone. Ill stay on this thread to cheerleader you all though.

 

[Agent Cooper]

Short tempered replies from someone you've never met? I'd tell him to GTFO. Dodged a bullet there imo.

Ditto this @NinaStar90! Everyone is usually on their best behaviour during this early stage, and him already being like that gives . Good riddance!

Hi folks. Thought I'd join this thread, having a hard time! Recently separated from my husband as I found out a while back he had a secret life seeing prostitutes for years including during my 2 rounds of ivf, pregnancy and beyond, up till I caught him out. Eventually gave things another go for the sake of our child but obviously it was far too much to forgive. Been checked out mentally for a long time and a couple of weeks ago started online dating again.
Met a guy who just ticked my boxes on all levels, so much in common, v intelligent, took me out on a wonderful first date which was everything I could've hoped for. But I had a busy day one day and didn't message as much and he immediately accused me of getting weird and pulling away. Got me quite riled as there's nothing more triggering for me than a guy who makes assumptions about my thoughts and I said he was being too intense and I needed a bit of space. So that was the end of that he basically said, bye, nice knowing you and now won't speak to me.
Logically I know I'm best off without him and it wouldn't have worked if he was going to be so uncompromising but I'm bleeping wrecked over it and so annoyed at myself, I can't stop thinking about him and that I've missed my chance at something really good.
So I'm back online with a vengeance and have got all the apps going. But no-one bleeping measures up to him. I'm so sad and raging at myself for being like this after knowing a guy for 10 days, I'm too smart for this!
So many guys with profiles just saying they don't know what to write and just ask anything you want to know. Why would I be curious when you are giving nothing! Also these sites want you to pay for everything now its so tit!
Sorry for the long first post but can't tell anyone I know or they'll hhink I've lost the plot.
---


Oh no! I absolutely feel your pain, it's horrible when you let yourself get butterflies and it all comes to nothing. I am not the person to give advice but if he can't communicate properly it was a road to nowhere . Still tit though, sending hugs x

My best tip would be to treat dating like a game because well, it is a game to most men. Until you have been on a couple of dates and got to know each other, he is basically a stranger - just another face on the app, a guy with a background you can’t really check. Romanticising people or putting them on pedestal is usually a bad strategy as it’s mostly projecting that has little to do with reality. Be picky. Put yourself first. Don’t tolerate BS from anyone. Don’t pin your hopes too high but try to have fun.

I know it’s easier said than done, I struggle with online dating myself but that’s what I’ve learned (the hard way, I must admit). A lot of us get attached easily but we must be careful. As we say a lot on here, it’s not you - it’s men.

 

[Laura VanderBooben]

After being on the apps for a few months and the second person I met (didn't really feel anything the first guy) . Then you meet someone and you get butterflies and your heart is racing and you just feel that electricity . Gosh haven't felt that in a long time until Saturday just gone on the second date.

Guess that's why I've been browsing this thread to see how other people handle it.

 

[IGiveUp22]

Ya know what I think it is, as I usually get attached quickly too & something I’ve tried to work on, we know the bar is literally in hell so we attach ourselves to a “decent” man as we know how few & far they are. This is why I think we’re so let down when/if it doesn’t work out or they’re not actually who we thought they were. Because we know we have to start all over again and try find another one that’s decent in the crappy pile we have to pick from

 

[Sunflower16]

I just signed up for a dating app. Never had a boyfriend (embrassed) as never been confident enough to try (still not) but got to try at least. I just automatically rejecting a lot as I know they’d not be interested. Also too picky as I rejected someone because they had a beagle

Nothing to be embarrassed about at all and certainly nothing wrong with being picky!
---

Just checking in to say take all of the @Clickbait advice to those who are dating.

Me? I've decided I just hate everyone. Ill stay on this thread to cheerleader you all though.

Agree! I hope @Clickbait is benefiting from their advice in a professional capacity as @Agent Cooper said!
---

Hi folks. Thought I'd join this thread, having a hard time! Recently separated from my husband as I found out a while back he had a secret life seeing prostitutes for years including during my 2 rounds of ivf, pregnancy and beyond, up till I caught him out. Eventually gave things another go for the sake of our child but obviously it was far too much to forgive. Been checked out mentally for a long time and a couple of weeks ago started online dating again.
Met a guy who just ticked my boxes on all levels, so much in common, v intelligent, took me out on a wonderful first date which was everything I could've hoped for. But I had a busy day one day and didn't message as much and he immediately accused me of getting weird and pulling away. Got me quite riled as there's nothing more triggering for me than a guy who makes assumptions about my thoughts and I said he was being too intense and I needed a bit of space. So that was the end of that he basically said, bye, nice knowing you and now won't speak to me.
Logically I know I'm best off without him and it wouldn't have worked if he was going to be so uncompromising but I'm bleeping wrecked over it and so annoyed at myself, I can't stop thinking about him and that I've missed my chance at something really good.
So I'm back online with a vengeance and have got all the apps going. But no-one bleeping measures up to him. I'm so sad and raging at myself for being like this after knowing a guy for 10 days, I'm too smart for this!
So many guys with profiles just saying they don't know what to write and just ask anything you want to know. Why would I be curious when you are giving nothing! Also these sites want you to pay for everything now its so tit!
Sorry for the long first post but can't tell anyone I know or they'll hhink I've lost the plot.
---


Oh no! I absolutely feel your pain, it's horrible when you let yourself get butterflies and it all comes to nothing. I am not the person to give advice but if he can't communicate properly it was a road to nowhere . Still tit though, sending hugs x

Welcome Rach. God that sounds absolutely horrific, I am so sorry this happened to you I definitely dont think you have missed your chance with that guy. If he is going to fly off the handle as a result of you being busy and not responding one day? You said it yourself - you are too smart for this but unfortunately, us smart women (dont know why I am including myself in that as smart!) are blindsided by men and their sweet talk at the best of times and can throw us off our game. You definitely have in no way lost the plot - it actually sounds completely normal reaction to me! Your reply to @NinaStar90 has the same advise I would say to you - if he cant communicate properly it was a road to nowhere. And also @NinaStar90 it sounds like you have done absolutely nothing wrong here. The mantra of this threads are, "Its not you, its men!"

I have figured out I can access this site on my work laptop today. This will not be good for my productivity

 

[Rach472]

Online dating is so different now to 10 years ago, they're all into hiking, don't drink, I've not even had a single dick pic yet!

 

[Carapop]

Just dropping in with this

 

[Clementine]

Also this….

And this….

 

[Thank(space)you]

Well so far I've been left on read today hopefully it is just he's had a busy day at work & now busy with his kids. We usually message when love island is on about the show so we shall see!

 

[Rach472]

I've just done the speed dating event on bumble, was a bit of a laugh, couple of matches that I'm chatting too.
Went to drs today, my daughter has chicken pox and its her birthday on Sat, had to cancel her party, things have got to pick up soon! I also spoke to a solicitor and she told me I can't divorce my ex on adultery grounds bc I took him back and tried again, fml

 

[Agent Cooper]

Girls what would you do if someone told you after just two dates that they were leaving the apps and did not want to continue seeing other people? I could see it coming but I’m still a bit taken aback right now!

 

[Thank(space)you]

Well so far I've been left on read today hopefully it is just he's had a busy day at work & now busy with his kids. We usually message when love island is on about the show so we shall see!

He has replied - as predicted said he's had a bust day etc etc
---

Girls what would you do if someone told you after just two dates that they were leaving the apps and did not want to continue seeing other people? I could see it coming but I’m still a bit taken aback right now!

I think if I liked them I'd be pleased, I dunno, it's been so long since I've been in that position how long have you been talking? What do you want to do?

 

[Jojoo]

I've just done the speed dating event on bumble, was a bit of a laugh, couple of matches that I'm chatting too.
Went to drs today, my daughter has chicken pox and its her birthday on Sat, had to cancel her party, things have got to pick up soon! I also spoke to a solicitor and she told me I can't divorce my ex on adultery grounds bc I took him back and tried again, fml

You can‘t do adultery anyway now going through a Divorce the laws changed sadly it sucks