Dating after lockdown #30 WHY ARE MEN SO BORING

[harveydean]

So when he got bank on the Sunday he messages saying lovely to see me, the party was going well etc and asked how my dog was…I replied thanking him for my flowers and coming. So yesterday morning I text asking how his weekend was…no reply!

Has he read it?

 

[Hot_Dogs_Or_Toes]

where did she say that it “might be okay for a hot guy to do this”?!

i don’t care if the guy looks like henry cavill: if he’s going through hundreds of fb accounts with my first name so he message me in my own “space” rather than on app, that’s already a blatant disregard for boundaries and, to be blunt, makes me feel unsafe. the aw shucks nice guy tone of his messages made me want to shrivel up in a ball. he knew EXACTLY what he was doing. not to mention the amount of girls in the replies who he’d done the exact same thing to.

It was in the part I highlighted in bold but she clarified in a follow up post that even if the guy was hot she probably wouldn't like it either.
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Yeah but you mentioned attractive friends that do this sort of thing. It’s not cool from a hot person or a fugly one.

I don't know anyone personally that has done it but we all know of people that are probably like that. It obviously works for some women as these men are rarely single!

 

[triesherbest]

I'm not sure, I seem to have alot of teachers and self employed people come up on mine. So maybe that's why it's so quiet? I'm on bumble. Maybe I should try other apps too.

have you ever tried hinge

 

[BettyBeau]

UPDATE - first date
We had originally planned to meet Wednesday but had some intense sex chat Saturday night so brought it forward to Sunday.
met at my local pub which I rarely go to. He bought me a drink, we chatted for a couple of hours then drove to a car park for some kissing and light fondling then a secluded lay-by where I sucked him off. He pretty much wanted to drop me home straight after.
I fully expected him to ghost me after because I’m so big but he messaged to say ‘see I’m not a dickhead, no ghosting here’ but then later I started the sex chat again and he wrote some odd messages about breeding, shooting his load with the chance of getting me pregnant. I would say good luck, my ovaries are probably dust but I’m probably still rudely fertile
I don’t know if he’d been drinking or if I’d sucked the sense out of him.
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Am I a mug?
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All the ‘wows’ are putting me I’ll at ease

This sounds like one of my dates

 

[melisnusty]

I have to agree with everyone here. The advice and POVs I've received only in the past few months have been nothing but supportive and understanding. Besides that even though this is an anonymous forum, I feel this is fast becoming a little family outlet for me and I love hearing everyone's dating updates and reassurance that a lot us are in the same boat!

@Agent Cooper Oh totally get you! I just meant keep posting as i enjoy hearing your experiences and advice, just like everyone here

@melisnusty Only you know what you need/want in this situation and I think we all have the same intentions here which is to help and advice not to judge and of course I can only speak for myself here in that I'm not a trained therapist, I wish I was! But I do think put together we've all had vast amounts of accumulated experience in the dating world! I have been a mental health ambassador for the company I work for. I've spoken to them on zoom meetings, talks and done a panel discussion in front of 60 of my colleagues talking about my battles. I'm also doing a talk to 200 people about it in August 🫤 I'm far from professionally qualified but I have learned so much about our minds, how they work and anxiety, depression etc over almost 20 years and the most important thing I've learned is how we can still learn from each other

I did notice you had said you were worried about you size. Girl, I'm a curvy lady too and although I'm still conscious about it, my experience so far is that most men don't care. Of course we're going to worry about how we are perceived looks wise but it's all about the confidence we portray even if we're not fully feeling 100% confident with ourselves! I hope you can find what you're looking for

And I’m happy for you all, keep going everyone.
I’m not comfortable in this thread anymore though, everyone is welcome to think of me what they will. If everyone is allowed their opinion, then I can say I think their opinion is judgy and everyone can pile on disagreeing with me.
What is that actually achieving?

 

[freezelouise43]

I was in a scenario very similar to @freezelouise43 over a two year period. During COVID I awoke one day to find myself blocked and never heard from him again. This was July 2020. Finally in October I dared to look at his WhatsApp from another phone and there it was, a marriage photo. So as usual the man fell on his feet and I had a lot of healing to do.

Omg that’s horrific I’m so so sorry…are you doing ok now? Xx

 

[shadowcat5]

Not to sound like a dinosaur but what exactly is ghosting? Is it just not replying?

 

[harveydean]

Ladies I’d love your perspective and experience about dating with OCD and ASD. How does it affect you (whether is you or your partner?)

Golf buddy and I are still doing the long distance thing, but it’s hard. He has both OCD and is on the spectrum and we’re figuring out what our needs and coping strategies are, but any loved experience would be greatly appreciated!

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

Never dated one because my friend is a flight attendant and has only horror stories about them


Not uppity at all! He really knows how to make people feel special, wonder how successful he is

That’s what I’m thinking

 

[EndofInfluencers]

I’m confused, what am I bad for? I’m not on IG so not my recommendation.

I didn’t mean it literally….nevermind…

 

[Gloria Rostron]

On a lighter note, a guy got arsey with me yesterday for using “mate”. I didn’t refer to him as mate might I add. Just used in the general conversation. He said he was “not happy with being friendzoned”

I mean lord almighty.

Curious, in what context did you use it? If you said "My brother's mate got me tickets to the concert" for example, it sounds to be an overreaction on his part.

 

[freezelouise43]

Given all you've said about yourself, do you think it's possible you picked him because you knew on some level it would come to this and in a way you've oddly protected yourself, ie you say you don't date and this isn't dating?

Could be yes! I do like my little world just having someone I can see every few weeks that doesn’t infiltrate it then hurt me…nope still hurt

 

[irishgirl912]

Offered 50% off a monthly subscription for tinder gold. Is it worth the go?