Dating after lockdown #20 I’m done. Too late to become a nun?

[Sprottish]

I also had a second date this week, just went for dinner and a glass of wine. Was fun, had a good laugh. He makes a lot of references to being an “seasoned bumbler” and I get the impression he dates a lot. Fine, each to their own and I’m glad he’s up front about it!

Last night he made an eye roll comment about notches on his bedposts, basically bragging about the amount of women he’d been with. I said “thank god I wont be part of that trend.” He sent a gif of “have I touched a nerve” to which I replied a nerve, no, just my radar and my gauging of you! He asked what I gauged of him. I sent a “player” gif. Clearly quite playful and you know, only going off what he’s told me. He got in a right strop, genuinely annoyed! I’ve left him to sulk. Think that’s the end of that one

 

[Bagpuss7]

SO my 2nd date with M went well. We went for dinner and a few drinks but it was only 2ish hours.. he had to be up early this morning and he was shattered! We said goodbye and he gave me a few kisses, he didn’t mention about seeing me again so I asked him and he said it’s all ok, from what I gather if he’s not going to this bbq tomorrow he’s gunna be available but I’ll just wait for him to ask me. I’ve made plans for us 2 times so his turn now.

I feel like his texting is different though so on Saturday after we met he was like oh it was lovely to meet you etc etc can’t wait to see you again, I didn’t get that this time but he said he enjoyed my company??I’m defo reading into it hah. Will go with the flow and see what happens, if he doesn’t arrange another date back onto the apps

Only 2 hours for a dinner date ? That's not much time at all and also nothing worse than knowing the other person is tired and possibly would rather be home in bed ....What's your gut telling you? Reading between the lines it seems to me his words on text say one thing but the reality of him isn't all that

 

[al255]

Only 2 hours for a dinner date ? That's not much time at all and also nothing worse than knowing the other person is tired and possibly would rather be home in bed ....What's your gut telling you? Reading between the lines it seems to me his words on text say one thing but the reality of him isn't all that

I know I thought that too - but its a school night and he had to be back to walk his dogs, he finished work at 6pm last night and we was meeting at 7! So fair enough really, and he was up at half 5 this morning. He’s working an hour away too so it’s long daysmy gut is telling me-

Don’t write it off, he hasn’t said he won’t see you again, butttt the “vibe” feels different compared to after our first date. Hmmmmmmm

 

[Bagpuss7]

I know I thought that too - but its a school night and he had to be back to walk his dogs, he finished work at 6pm last night and we was meeting at 7! So fair enough really, and he was up at half 5 this morning. He’s working an hour away too so it’s long daysmy gut is telling me-

Don’t write it off, he hasn’t said he won’t see you again, butttt the “vibe” feels different compared to after our first date. Hmmmmmmm

So he slotted you in rather than made real time for you ..why did he commit to a Thursday night date if he didn't really have the time ?

Go with your gut ...we all know getting to date 2 is a massive achievement but don't dilly dally waiting for him if you are sensing red flags...I know you really like him

I also had a second date this week, just went for dinner and a glass of wine. Was fun, had a good laugh. He makes a lot of references to being an “seasoned bumbler” and I get the impression he dates a lot. Fine, each to their own and I’m glad he’s up front about it!

Last night he made an eye roll comment about notches on his bedposts, basically bragging about the amount of women he’d been with. I said “thank god I wont be part of that trend.” He sent a gif of “have I touched a nerve” to which I replied a nerve, no, just my radar and my gauging of you! He asked what I gauged of him. I sent a “player” gif. Clearly quite playful and you know, only going off what he’s told me. He got in a right strop, genuinely annoyed! I’ve left him to sulk. Think that’s the end of that one

 

[al255]

So he slotted you in rather than made real time for you ..why did he commit to a Thursday night date if he didn't really have the time ?

Go with your gut ...we all know getting to date 2 is a massive achievement but don't dilly dally waiting for him if you are sensing red flags...I know you really like him

I’m glad it was a quick date though really I was knackered myself but it’s a shame it was only 2 hours. I think I’ll just wait and see if he makes the effort to see me again ummmm

 

[Clickbait]

So he slotted you in rather than made real time for you ..why did he commit to a Thursday night date if he didn't really have the time ?

Go with your gut ...we all know getting to date 2 is a massive achievement but don't dilly dally waiting for him if you are sensing red flags...I know you really like him

See I’d say that he did make time on what was clearly a busy day to honour a commitment he made to see you @al255 He could have cancelled and then that would have been seen to raise red flags about his level of interest, whether there was someone else etc.

I’m all for people using their intuition, but if you’re so focused on sensing flags and fluctuations you’ll probably find something you don’t like. Sometimes things are just as they seem.

Also, I’m not sure how you phrase your questions to him, you said “he didn’t mention about seeing me again so I asked him” - I might find that a bit much personally. There needs to be room to breathe in the process - constantly chasing attention, confirmation of where you stand, when you’ll be seeing each other again can come across a bit needy and suffocating. I’d be put off by it. And sadly men do like a bit of a chase so by constantly telling him you want to see him and you’re available to him it means he doesn’t have to make as much effort.

Not suggesting playing games, just that you let him come to you and take control of the next date. Try not to freak out if it takes a couple of days. If you’ve not heard from him in a few days archive the chat.

 

[Belle123]

@al255 A couple of hours for a date is fine in the week. The point is you had a date. In the week, people don’t always have time to have long dates plus it was only a second date. It’s a bit needy to expect him to compliment you every time and hint at another date straightway. Give him a chance to reflect and keep chatting to each other in the meantime. Let him come to you about. Let him initiate. Not everyone goes at our pace but it doesn’t mean something is wrong. I feel like you analyse every little thing, and you need to pace it. I hope that doesn’t come across like I’m criticising you, I’m just trying to help you take that deep breath and not overthink this so early on.

I also had a second date this week, just went for dinner and a glass of wine. Was fun, had a good laugh. He makes a lot of references to being an “seasoned bumbler” and I get the impression he dates a lot. Fine, each to their own and I’m glad he’s up front about it!

Last night he made an eye roll comment about notches on his bedposts, basically bragging about the amount of women he’d been with. I said “thank god I wont be part of that trend.” He sent a gif of “have I touched a nerve” to which I replied a nerve, no, just my radar and my gauging of you! He asked what I gauged of him. I sent a “player” gif. Clearly quite playful and you know, only going off what he’s told me. He got in a right strop, genuinely annoyed! I’ve left him to sulk. Think that’s the end of that one

Good for you for calling him out on it. He sounds peeved you won’t be a ‘notch’ What a bellend to describe women that way

 

[al255]

See I’d say that he did make time on what was clearly a busy day to honour a commitment he made to see you @al255 He could have cancelled and then that would have been seen to raise red flags about his level of interest, whether there was someone else etc.

I’m all for people using their intuition, but if you’re so focused on sensing flags and fluctuations you’ll probably find something you don’t like. Sometimes things are just as they seem.

Also, I’m not sure how you phrase your questions to him, you said “he didn’t mention about seeing me again so I asked him” - I might find that a bit much personally. There needs to be room to breathe in the process - constantly chasing attention, confirmation of where you stand, when you’ll be seeing each other again can come across a bit needy and suffocating. I’d be put off by it. And sadly men do like a bit of a chase so by constantly telling him you want to see him and you’re available to him it means he doesn’t have to make as much effort.

Not suggesting playing games, just that you let him come to you and take control of the next date. Try not to freak out if it takes a couple of days. If you’ve not heard from him in a few days archive the chat.

I thought it was nice he made time for me just abit short. WelL on our first date half way through he wanted to sort out a second date etc and was really keen! That’s why I asked him. X

Thanks everyone xxxx

 

[Belle123]

I thought it was nice he made time for me just abit short. WelL on our first date half way through he wanted to sort out a second date etc and was really keen! That’s why I asked him. X

Thanks everyone xxxx

Play it cool. Watch his behaviour. Look at your messages. Who’s initiating everyday? Is it ever him? Do you let him initiate/come to you about dates, or are you all over it before he’s had that chance? I’d not worry too much about what he said on the first date. You get a rhythm going eventually, once both people have worked out they like each other and want to continue.

We are on alert for rejection, and it can lead to trying to control it by keeping the messages going and asking them out, instead of leaning back. Keep him guessing about your level of interest. Like @Clickbait said, it’s not about playing games. It’s about pace, an ebb and flow of effort and finding balance. A chance to suss him out. Give him a chance to find his feet with it and come to you. If he already knows you like him he’s not got any curiosity, has he? x

 

[al255]

Play it cool. Watch his behaviour. Look at your messages. Who’s initiating everyday? Is it ever him? Do you let him initiate/come to you about dates, or are you all over it before he’s had that chance? I’d not worry too much about what he said on the first date. You get a rhythm going eventually, once both people have worked out they like each other and want to continue.

We are on alert for rejection, and it can lead to trying to control it by keeping the messages going and asking them out, instead of leaning back. Keep him guessing about your level of interest. Like @Clickbait said, it’s not about playing games. It’s about pace, an ebb and flow of effort and finding balance. A chance to suss him out. Give him a chance to find his feet with it and come to you. If he already knows you like him he’s not got any curiosity, has he? x

yeah he does, he will text me first etc! So he knows when I’m free so I’ll just wait and seex

 

[Bianca Del Rio]

@Sprottish Oh you’ve dodged a bullet there. First of all, it was a ridiculous thing for him to say (but thank God he did because you now know exactly what you’re dealing with) but secondly, his “Have I touched a nerve?” comment as though your reaction to this lovely piece of information he’s just divulged is somehow disproportionate or overly sensitive. I’d confidently say that most women would be repulsed by a man boasting about his conquests and if he’s going to get stroppy about that, well he’s going to be spending an awful lot of time stropping. Into the bin you go pal.

P.S: Hi everyone It’s the artist formerly known as ThreeSteaksPam here. Not me deleting my account and then trying to quietly slope back in with a new one mid-thread..

 

[Jadejones9596]

@Sprottish Oh you’ve dodged a bullet there. First of all, it was a ridiculous thing for him to say (but thank God he did because you now know exactly what you’re dealing with) but secondly, his “Have I touched a nerve?” comment as though your reaction to this lovely piece of information he’s just divulged is somehow disproportionate or overly sensitive. I’d confidently say that most women would be repulsed by a man boasting about his conquests and if he’s going to get stroppy about that, well he’s going to be spending an awful lot of time stropping. Into the bin you go pal.

P.S: Hi everyone It’s the artist formerly known as ThreeSteaksPam here. Not me deleting my account and then trying to quietly slope back in with a new one mid-thread..

Anyone called Bianca Del Rio is very much ok with me welcome back x

 

[Dogtanian]

Hi gang,

I’m back and very single . Gutted. I feel such a fool cos I ignored so many red flags just cos I fancied the pants off him.
He could just be so viscous. He doesn't even see his own daughter FFS. Major anger issues.

I’m devastated but so grateful to have you guys to talk to. Hope you’re all well. I’m off to drown my sorrows in a duck-tonne of booze

Ah, that's a shame it didn't work out. I was thinking how you got on the other day but only just saw this.

 

[Belle123]

@Sprottish Oh you’ve dodged a bullet there. First of all, it was a ridiculous thing for him to say (but thank God he did because you now know exactly what you’re dealing with) but secondly, his “Have I touched a nerve?” comment as though your reaction to this lovely piece of information he’s just divulged is somehow disproportionate or overly sensitive. I’d confidently say that most women would be repulsed by a man boasting about his conquests and if he’s going to get stroppy about that, well he’s going to be spending an awful lot of time stropping. Into the bin you go pal.

P.S: Hi everyone It’s the artist formerly known as ThreeSteaksPam here. Not me deleting my account and then trying to quietly slope back in with a new one mid-thread..

Hello! How are you doing?

 

[Mr Sparkle]

ThreeSteaksPam still wins best username on this site to me

Had a lovely third date yesterday! We had dinner and then went to the restaurant next door for a drink before they closed. Then we went to sneak the last half of the Killers concert that we could hear nearby - we stood on a street nearby singing along. At one point he held me and gave me a kiss on the forehead. I love that tit.

Drove me home and said night. I really want to see him again ASAP, he's so funny and also seems so respectful. Trying not to get too carried away with myself today, but definitely keen on him.

 

[Bianca Del Rio]

@Belle123 Hiya. I’m OK. I’ve recently started a new job and in the spirit of throwing myself into it, I deleted Instagram and my dating profile which gave me a Tattle variant of Imposter Syndrome so I decided to retire Pam. @Mr Sparkle I was hoping to pick back up with the same name but sadly it’s been taken along with Big Fat Sue so now I’m Bianca.

I’ve got this whole thread to read plus 3 Cleaning With Marios so it’s going to be a great afternoon. I hope you’ve all been well, I’m looking forward to a good catch up!

 

[Jadejones9596]

ThreeSteaksPam still wins best username on this site to me

Had a lovely third date yesterday! We had dinner and then went to the restaurant next door for a drink before they closed. Then we went to sneak the last half of the Killers concert that we could hear nearby - we stood on a street nearby singing along. At one point he held me and gave me a kiss on the forehead. I love that tit.

Drove me home and said night. I really want to see him again ASAP, he's so funny and also seems so respectful. Trying not to get too carried away with myself today, but definitely keen on him.

This sounds really hopeful and exciting!! Keep us posted x

 

[Belle123]

@Belle123 Hiya. I’m OK. I’ve recently started a new job and in the spirit of throwing myself into it, I deleted Instagram and my dating profile which gave me a Tattle variant of Imposter Syndrome so I decided to retire Pam. @Mr Sparkle I was hoping to pick back up with the same name but sadly it’s been taken along with Big Fat Sue so now I’m Bianca.

I’ve got this whole thread to read plus 3 Cleaning With Marios so it’s going to be a great afternoon. I hope you’ve all been well, I’m looking forward to a good catch up!
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I’m glad you’re ok Your username was the best! How outrageous someone else now has it

Congratulations on the new job and it sounds like you’ve had a good spring clean. Enjoy the catch up! x

 

[DollyDiamondxo]

ThreeSteaksPam still wins best username on this site to me

Had a lovely third date yesterday! We had dinner and then went to the restaurant next door for a drink before they closed. Then we went to sneak the last half of the Killers concert that we could hear nearby - we stood on a street nearby singing along. At one point he held me and gave me a kiss on the forehead. I love that tit.

Drove me home and said night. I really want to see him again ASAP, he's so funny and also seems so respectful. Trying not to get too carried away with myself today, but definitely keen on him.

That sounds lovely

 

[al255]

So M told me he’s looking forward to seeing me again and he’s sent me some videos from his walk with his dogs, hopefully I see him tomorrow but I’ll just wait for him to ask me