Dating after lockdown #20 I’m done. Too late to become a nun?

[al255]

I think if you have to ask a man if he’s interested in you then something probably isn’t right.

I’ve asked manyyyyy men in the past, one I’ve had 3+ years relationship with. I’ve also been asked it too even though I’ve shown every indication that I am also, I found I don’t get ghosted as much if I’ve asked someone if they’re interested in me.

 

[candyland_]

I’ve asked manyyyyy men in the past, one I’ve had 3+ years relationship with. I’ve also been asked it too even though I’ve shown every indication that I am

I’m just going off what I’ve read in previous threads. Too often when a woman on here asks it to a man he’s already vanished. Either way something is off that causes that insecurity.

 

[Bagpuss7]

So last night my guy opens up to me and tells me all about his past. It was bad but he's now just trying to make a better life for himself, he says it's all behind him and I believe him. What are your thoughts on a guys past? There was a conviction after what seems like a young lads fight and alcohol problems

Has he said what the conviction was because for me anything that caused bodily harm to another is a big no..not sure we can ever just say it was the drink or lads being lads when another person has been hurt ..and 18 years old ? Definitely old enough to know right from wrong.

Just editing to add, what has he done to rehabilitate himself ? Is he teetotal ? Does he attend therapy ?

 

[Kimmylookatme]

It’s a tricky one with the asking isn’t it.. I asked mine in February if he’d gone off me and we’d been together 6 months by then! Sometimes men and women are just different. The amount of times me and my best friend will text each other ‘why don’t they just THINK!’ Haha. I never know if they just don’t care as much about certain stuff or if they genuinely just don’t realise they’re causing an issue.

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

Hi Gang,

catching up. Can I pop my head back in I’m no longer single (posted this already but)

Anyone remember the thread we discussed Micro. Well after this weekend I’m thanking my stars that mine doesn’t I’m one happy girl

 

[Bagpuss7]

Hi Gang,

catching up. Can I pop my head back in I’m no longer single (posted this already but)

Anyone remember the thread we discussed Micro. Well after this weekend I’m thanking my stars that mine doesn’t I’m one happy girl

That's wonderful news ...and wonderful news!

 

[EasterEggs]

Hi gals, I rejoined bumble over the weekend after about 2.5 years completely off men (shout out to lovehoney for keeping me occupied!)!

I have a coffee date lined up for this week and my question is what do people wear on dates these days!?? All I’ve worn for 2 years is leggings and hoodies.. Can I wear cute top, skinnies and cute trainers or is that super casual?

 

[Kimmylookatme]

@Belle123 im glad he replied! Kind of echo the others in that I think maybe pull back a bit and see what happens!

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

Hi gals, I rejoined bumble over the weekend after about 2.5 years completely off men (shout out to lovehoney for keeping me occupied!)!

I have a coffee date lined up for this week and my question is what do people wear on dates these days!?? All I’ve worn for 2 years is leggings and hoodies.. Can I wear cute top, skinnies and cute trainers or is that super casual?

nope sounds good. Perfect to me that’s what I’d wear always better to be dressed up than overdressed imo

@Belle123 sorry to hear about the ghoster. You deserve a lot better. Then got to the end glad he replied.. see what happens do nothing. Xx

@CandyLand I also agree re having to ask a man if they’re interested or not is a red flag (not of us but of them). I’ve only every known stress and weirdos but this relationship is just Easy. I just want everyone to have that on this thread.

 

[candyland_]

Hi Gang,

catching up. Can I pop my head back in I’m no longer single (posted this already but)

Anyone remember the thread we discussed Micro. Well after this weekend I’m thanking my stars that mine doesn’t I’m one happy girl

Great to hear you’ve found someone.

 

[Agent Cooper]

I think if you have to ask a man if he’s interested in you then something probably isn’t right.

True, but it helps you see where you stand and block him without feeling guilty or thinking ‘what if’, which is very helpful for some people.

Hi Gang,

catching up. Can I pop my head back in I’m no longer single (posted this already but)

Anyone remember the thread we discussed Micro. Well after this weekend I’m thanking my stars that mine doesn’t I’m one happy girl

So glad for you! Great news haha x

I have a coffee date lined up for this week and my question is what do people wear on dates these days!?? All I’ve worn for 2 years is leggings and hoodies.. Can I wear cute top, skinnies and cute trainers or is that super casual?

Sounds good! As for me, there is no way I’m wearing something fancy for a guy I’ve never seen before, I just go on dates in my everyday clothes. Nothing worse when seeing girls out on a date struggling in their stilettos because their stingy guy dragged them out for a walk in the park…

 

[DollyDiamondxo]

I sound abit mean here but does anyone else get abit annoyed when a man speaks to them who isn’t their type and your not interested in? I’m getting sick of men I have zero interest in snap chatting me, but if I’m interested in someone they don’t talk to me why is it always the ones we don’t want! It’s typical And tbh I don’t tell them I’m not interested as whenever I’ve done that in the past they’ve given me abuse lol. I say I’m seeing someone! Can’t be bruising egos now can we lol

 

[candyland_]

I sound abit mean here but does anyone else get abit annoyed when a man speaks to them who isn’t their type and your not interested in? I’m getting sick of men I have zero interest in snap chatting me, but if I’m interested in someone they don’t talk to me why is it always the ones we don’t want! It’s typical And tbh I don’t tell them I’m not interested as whenever I’ve done that in the past they’ve given me abuse lol. I say I’m seeing someone! Can’t be bruising egos now can we lol

I’m rude.. I mostly ignore people

I only have people I’m close to on Snapchat but they slip through on Instagram. I once had one ask me if I had a single bed.. I’m a 32 year old mother with my own house of course I don’t have a single bed. They set me off and I usually fire some tit at them if they get too irritating.

 

[DollyDiamondxo]

I’m rude.. I mostly ignore people

I only have people I’m close to on Snapchat but they slip through on Instagram. I once had one ask me if I had a single bed.. I’m a 32 year old mother with my own house of course I don’t have a single bed. They set me off and I usually fire some tit at them if they get too irritating.

A single bed? What hahaha random.. yeah I’ve ignored this guy I genuinely don’t want to speak to a man now unless it’s my friend or a potential partner. I don’t like random chit chat lol. But me if I’m interested in someone I am replying, double texting, and smiling while doing so lol. I don’t have any other social media but used to drive me nuts message requests from absolute ***** hahah x

 

[Ginmonster]

Sigh... first time posting here.
Hello
Apart from a few small relationships over the years (all less than 6 months), I've been single all of my mid 30 years. Its something I've just gotten on with but lately I'm finding it a lot to carry. I dated alot over the years then Covid came. I'm struggling to get back out there. I've always put it down to my weight like if I lose weight I will meet someone but, one, I can't seem to lose it and two, I think I'll just find some other part of my body that I don't like and blame that.
I went on a coffee date at the weekend. I was skeptical because he didnt seem like a laugh at all, very serious. We met he was nice to look at but Didnt ask me anything and I ended up steering the conversation.Made his move to leave after 20 minutes. He walked about 3 feet away from me back to the carpark and says 'ok talk to you later'. He text a while later saying he didnt feel the spark.. in other words.. he wasn't attracted.
Sort of hit me hard this one and I don't know why.

Anyway thats me . Hello

 

[Fledgling Psycho]

Sorry for all the awful cowardly behavior many have been experiencing. I'm also sorry that I have absolutely no useful advice except we need to stop analysing the why's and wherefores of these weak creatures & say whatever the reason, it's not for me!
Interestingly, in the past I have always tried to be Mrs Reasonable/Mrs Rational and have been dumped for Miss Puts her Foot Down & Miss Throws a Blue Arsed Bloody Fit if they step out of line.
So, I have a very cynical view of men both from life experience and the soul destroying apps.
For example my last relationship of 8 years to a commitment phobee finally ended when I accepted he was happily stringing me along.
Within two weeks he was in another relationship & despite crying when we ended & wanting to stay friends, disappeared completely and that was that!
Honestly I could have died of bitterness and the ego kick in the teeth.
I had spent so many hours worrying how much it would hurt him blah blah.
All I can say is put yourselves first.
Sorry for the long winded reply. I just get so depressed & angry about this callous & cowardly behavior!!

 

[TillyMiffin]

Hmmmmm it’s strange he didn’t mention it or say I’m here this weekend at X place so I might not text much. Men are so weird. Some give loads away daily about their life and others don’t tell you anything. Annoying he’s been like this and you’ve been worried What are you thinking? That’s it a one off? I’d be wondering if he’s seeing someone else..

My gut feeling is this might not be the last time he does it, but at this point I agree, give him the benefit of the doubt.

 

[DollyDiamondxo]

Sorry for all the awful cowardly behavior many have been experiencing. I'm also sorry that I have absolutely no useful advice except we need to stop analysing the why's and wherefores of these weak creatures & say whatever the reason, it's not for me!
Interestingly, in the past I have always tried to be Mrs Reasonable/Mrs Rational and have been dumped for Miss Puts her Foot Down & Miss Throws a Blue Arsed Bloody Fit if they step out of line.
So, I have a very cynical view of men both from life experience and the soul destroying apps.
For example my last relationship of 8 years to a commitment phobee finally ended when I accepted he was happily stringing me along.
Within two weeks he was in another relationship & despite crying when we ended & wanting to stay friends, disappeared completely and that was that!
Honestly I could have died of bitterness and the ego kick in the teeth.
I had spent so many hours worrying how much it would hurt him blah blah.
All I can say is put yourselves first.
Sorry for the long winded reply. I just get so depressed & angry about this callous & cowardly behavior!!

Eight years is such a long time, I’ve only ever managed half of that but that must’ve been tough to get over, and adjust to being on your own after that long! Don’t surprise me he jumped straight in another relationship. Mine did the same, my mum said men find it harder than us women to be alone, generally their less sufficient than us (cleaning cooking dealing with emotions being able to have a good cry discussing with our friends etc), and also why you think their players because they always need someone around. Not saying this is all men but it is true sometimes! My dad is very independent does all the housework aswell as hard graft and cooks and he loves his own company, but that isn’t the case for a lot of men. Not sure if that make sense but yeah a lot of them struggle being completely alone oh and to add they have a higher sex drive aswell where as it doesn’t bother us so much going without..

 

[Fledgling Psycho]

I find it so hard to respect someone who can't be alone. I suppose because I've been so independent. Having said that as soon as a man's on the scene, all my insecurities come out as if I'm losing that part of myself that sees me as worthy. Hard to explain but our childhood experiences run deep for sure.

 

[Belle123]

Hi Gang,

catching up. Can I pop my head back in I’m no longer single (posted this already but)

Anyone remember the thread we discussed Micro. Well after this weekend I’m thanking my stars that mine doesn’t I’m one happy girl

Haha! So happy to hear this is making you happy

nope sounds good. Perfect to me that’s what I’d wear always better to be dressed up than overdressed imo

@Belle123 sorry to hear about the ghoster. You deserve a lot better. Then got to the end glad he replied.. see what happens do nothing. Xx

@CandyLand I also agree re having to ask a man if they’re interested or not is a red flag (not of us but of them). I’ve only every known stress and weirdos but this relationship is just Easy. I just want everyone to have that on this thread.

Thank you. He wants to see me again so we’ll see what happens this week