Could you marry someone poor/minimum wage?

[Yorkshirepud85]

Each to their own OP but bearing in mind the average salary in the UK floats around 30K and we are navigating a cost of living crisis, I count my blessings to have a secure income whatever that might be. I'm interested to know how you would feel about a change of circumstances ie if a high earning partner was suddenly made redundant and had to accept a lower paid role, would it change how you felt about them?

 

[QueenKoala]

This thread honestly

We are in a “minimum wage” family, I’m 32 and have gone back to uni to train to be a nurse. My husband is self employed and has a small business with his dad. We have a 15 month old who wants for nothing, and dressed head to toe in primark and sainsburys.

We laugh everyday, we are excited for our annual Cornwall caravan trip. If someone asked me what my dream car was, I wouldn’t even know where to start as I literally couldn’t give a monkeys as long as it drove and it was safe.

I feel like I’ve won the lottery of life and it’s never had anything to do with the amount of money I or my husband earns. I would never ever swap this for a Rangerover or a designer bag, not in a million years.

 

[Hope96]

BUT OP’s FIRST CAR WAS A TOYOTA SO ITS ALL OKAY #relatable

 

[ploddertoo]

Really loving this thread, now in my 50s I have come to realise if you don’t have your health you have nothing

 

[I’mThankyou_]

Doing something you love its great but ultimately I still think you need to think of finances and for you future , are you happy to work until your practically dead (no one will be able live off the state pension that’s even if there will be one in future or unless your going to inherit enough ) , also you need atleast a million budget to live somewhere half decent that’s close enough to London ( for a 4 bed family home in a nice area) , depends what you want in life but nice house, nice car , holidays and private school fees ( all fairly normal and fair goals people aspire to have ) all add up financially and just being in a job that makes you happy , with no real long term earning potential won’t get you that !

Its not a normal ambition to send your children to a private school.
You clearly enjoy spending someone else's money

 

[Baby Giraffe]

I won’t deny it’s been fun but I think we need to stop feeding the troll people!*

*not moderating, just a suggestion

To be honest this thread has been the best bonding experience ever, I’ve never seen so many people agree about anything!

 

[Snippysnips]

Am also curious to know what people would think if someone did earn high but didn't spend it, just because they are pulling in good money doesn't mean to say it's going to be a fancier lifestyle

My dad worked oil rigs for years, but tbh we were no better off than if he just worked at home on min wage because all his money was an still is locked up in savings, we mostly go by on my mum's wage, I'd actually have preferred if he did just work at home because he missed absolutely everything with me growing up, bdays, first an last school days, performances etc, the first new year he ever spent with us I was 19 an the first bday he was home for was my 21st

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

And it’s all bullshit anyway…
I could easily say I live a ten bed mansion and have a private jet. No one on here knows who I am, I could in fact live in a shed and not even own a car at all.

anyone can come on here and brag they have it all, but they rarely do. Usually they’re lacking something, like confidence or decent relationships. As above, those who shout the loudest and all that.

 

[JodieGreen123]

The wage itself is irrelevant, but the no intentions/ambitions of bettering themselves would be a huge red flag for me.

 

[Hope96]

Take a shot every time @latranla mentions Toyota... be prepared to be on the floor though.

 

[Scorpihoe]

I’m in two minds about this. Please no hate here, I’m sharing a lot of personal feelings and this has caused me to have a lot of dependency issues as an adult.

I thought I’d offer my perspective…I grew up very wealthy, my dad worked a lot and always made sure we lived in luxury. Around the time I was born, my dad was in the height of his career with so much property, he was always so busy, I barely saw him. He actually missed my birth because he was in a meeting, when my mum went into labour, and he refused to leave the meeting. We didn’t see him a lot as kids, but my mums a housewife and she took care of us at home. I’m in my mid 20s but I’ve never paid a bill (not that I would even know how to), never paid rent on any flat I’ve lived in, I still get a monthly allowance to my bank account, from my dad, and the first time I did laundry was at uni, because we always had a cleaner. I am basically an adult child, if you can call it that. I have so much anxiety about actually working, and depend on my parents for everything.

I was taken advantage of a bit in my first relationship. Because money was never an issue, I never looked for it in relationships. My first boyfriend worked but would make me pay for everything we did. My second boyfriend (now husband), came from nothing. His family are in masses of debt and live on credit cards. He was the complete opposite of me and moved out when he was 16. Incredibly independent, and I looked up to him. We were at uni when we met and he would always joke to me that one day he’s gonna make it big. I always laughed at him, because I just didn’t care. I didn’t care if he made it big or not because I loved him and how he took care of me, he taught me how to live life, to cook meals, to change my bedsheets (embarrasing at my age not knowing how to do that, I know). How he could have £3 left in his account but he’d use it to buy me a kinder egg. But he found something he was good at, and now he’s 25 and on a £60k salary.

my point is, if I had narrowed my search to men who are wealthy, who can give me the same life my dad has given me, I wouldn’t have found my absolute gem of a husband, and my soulmate

sorry for rambling but you get the picture

 

[ThePidge]

I have to say, I'm really enjoying other fellow bird species joining in on this thread. Attenborough would be proud.
Also as a previous poster said, materialist things will provide pleasure,… temporarily until the next new thing comes out… imagine constantly chasing for new things for some sort of self worth/validation.

The OP said she couldn't be without 3 “decent” holidays a year (to keep her sane) and to me, that screams “I’m unhappy”… I bloody love a UK caravan holiday and appreciate the pretty corners this country has to offer. I’ve worked across the world and I’ve been lucky enough to holiday in some breautiful places, and I still find myself wanting to be within the U.K.

 

[I’mThankyou_]

Op is currently pushing her porche around on her toy car mat.

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

Doing something you love its great but ultimately I still think you need to think of finances and for you future , are you happy to work until your practically dead (no one will be able live off the state pension that’s even if there will be one in future or unless your going to inherit enough ) , also you need atleast a million budget to live somewhere half decent that’s close enough to London ( for a 4 bed family home in a nice area) , depends what you want in life but nice house, nice car , holidays and private school fees ( all fairly normal and fair goals people aspire to have ) all add up financially and just being in a job that makes you happy , with no real long term earning potential won’t get you that !

Why do you care so much? Maybe you should keep your snobby beak out of other people’s business and mind your own? Does it affect you if some people work until they die?
I feel you’re the kind of person who steps over someone in the street and looks down your nose at them just because they’ve been unfortunate or you look down at the low paid person in the supermarket that’s serving you.

ultimately, a lot of nurses are low paid, but they’re going to the ones that help save your life in an emergency. Care workers are low paid, but they’re gonna be the ones that are feeding you with a spoon when you’re too old to do it yourself.

dont look down your nose at others, especially not when you were once in their position and could be again someday.

Who’s to say what’s a nice house? Who’s to say what’s a nice car? You’re so up your own arse it’s untrue. And the really sad thing is that you probably think most on here are making these comments because they aspire to have what you have… believe me, most on this thread probably do have what you have and more besides, but they stay humble and they have more because they have decency and respect.

 

[nicalibres]

Howling at this thread pure deano meme vibes

 

[Scorpihoe]

If you ever feel like life is bad it could be worse… to think there are humans who drive this !! Lol

OP please look at this picture. It could humble you a little

 

[shadowcat5]

Again was just being honest, don’t care too much on what other people think or how they want to live - child free / earn 30k a year until their 50 etc … I’m just giving my opinion on how I like to live and was just curious to hear other peoples life goals …(btw I actually owned a Toyota as a first car !)

That's fine, but I find it interesting that you have asked the question 'would you marry someone who was poor/earned minimum wage'
If you want the finer things in life surely it is your responsibility to go out and get those? Not your partners? How you like to live and marrying someone 'poor' isn't really the same thing in my opinion

 

[Jellybean093]

My husband’s ambitions would have ended up with him in an early grave/divorced/not seeing the children. He has now cut down his job hours, is home more, both our mental health is back to how it was and he is now enjoying the time with our children. He wants to better himself, but it’s just not the right time.

ETA - I’ve never known anyone to work as hard as him. I’m more than happy for him to take a £2k pay cut and be present

 

[jackolantern]

Is all I have to say to you

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

Currently batting the eyelids at the husband to see if I can exchange my Toyota for a Range so I can drive around looking down at the peasants from a great shitty height