xxxxAwww you are welcome. You aren’t alone- I’ve never struggled with fear and anxiety so much as I am at moment........@Starisborn1 @Belle83 @Bitofthebubbly @50sGirl thank you all so much! I do feel better knowing it's okay to post here - I know that is the point of the thread but I always feel like I'm annoying or I shouldn't bother other people. I will try using those call or text helplines and see if it helps me. Deffo will use shout first because i feel like texting will be easier for me too I think. I really do appreciate you all taking the time to read and reply to me
I’ve been struggling as well. My lovely husband tried to give me a day off today ( as much as you can have with a 2 year old ) because I’m on my third day of a banging headache and I spent the last 2 days sobbing about everything. Hope you’re ok xtook a little break from everything for a few days after I had a little breakdown a few nights ago. Not coronavirus related but its adding to already existing mental health issues I have, so it's not helping at all. Trying to be more present with my kids and not think too much. My usual coping mechanism is getting out of the house...
Hope everyone is well and healthy and staying as sane as you can xx
I'm doing okay, just got a lot going on right now that isn't covid-19 related which combined with my covid-19 related anxiety is making it difficult. Taking it one day at a time!
I’m in a different time zone so I’ve just woke up but sounds like you’ve received some great advice from others. Just keep posting, we are here for you and sounds like we are all struggling one way or another. I definitely would advise coming off Facebook if it makes you feel worse after being on it.@Starisborn1 @Belle83 @Bitofthebubbly @50sGirl thank you all so much! I do feel better knowing it's okay to post here - I know that is the point of the thread but I always feel like I'm annoying or I shouldn't bother other people. I will try using those call or text helplines and see if it helps me. Deffo will use shout first because i feel like texting will be easier for me too I think. I really do appreciate you all taking the time to read and reply to me
I’d agree re. Facebook. I was a fb addict but deactivated my account as it was too much info for me. I don’t miss it one little bit.I’m in a different time zone so I’ve just woke up but sounds like you’ve received some great advice from others. Just keep posting, we are here for you and sounds like we are all struggling one way or another. I definitely would advise coming off Facebook if it makes you feel worse after being on it.
. It was like this when Caroline Flack died too, reading every post i saw about it. That situation is why I feel worried about people having a go at me on here anyway. When it happened I was in on the whole #BeKind thing and felt so sad for her and some people on here saw it differently and didn't see it the way I felt then and weren't happy with my posts. I just felt what happened should be left nothing could change it now but I did realise that was wrong it was just conflicting for me. Especially everything I went through with my mum and how I have felt angry that some people didn't seem to take the situation as seriously as they would if it was my dad that was hurting me. I have spoken so much about how woman can be just as hurtful and abusive as men just generally not my own situation. Shared the men can be victims too posts on Facebook yet I still felt so shocked and sad for her and that what happened should be left alone for those who know the full facts. Since I know how it feels to be in the place she was in and if I died I wouldn't want people discussing all the wrong things I've done in my life - nothing like that I know but we have all done things were ashamed of. I feel we should all go peacefully and remembered in our best ways - but then like people said would I say that about murderers, rapists, child abusers? No. And would I say that for a man who had done the same to a woman? No. So there has to be a line somewhere - even me myself I do feel like there's a tiny part of me who doesnt see it the exact same if it's a woman because of society although I 100% know it is. I've dealt with it myself. I had one if my friends when I was at high school say "she couldn't have hurt you that much she's just a tiny wee woman" and that did upset me. It's confusing because sometimes I feel like I dislike her then I feel like I don't. I just don't want to see her in the street and I just want to avoid thinking about her but I can't. I struggle to even say the word "mum" sometimes and hate mothers day when everyone makes their lovely posts and seeing it all over the shops. I think it's strange how I got so obsessed with watching all the mummy vloggers it was like I just wanted to see what they were all like, I thought they were all amazing for a while and thought that's what a happy family was. Then I realised alot was wrong with them and next i know I'm on Tatttle 
Danielle, the fact that you put your post in “spoilers“ in case it upset anyone shows that you are a decent, caring human being.I don't know why it done this but I tried texting the shout thing and it said it failed to send??? Anyway I felt okay earlier on just been chilling watching youtube trying to relax but I feel really bad again now.
I remembered about this spoiler thing though so I thought I'd use that and do a *trigger warning* and then if any of you are struggling too and don't want to read anything that could upset you then you can scroll past and not see it. x
It just doesn't feel worth it anymore. I keep thinking about writing some sort of message for friends and the the family I do speak to. It feels like my head is telling me to do something just to stop all this. I think i should just post private things on instagram that I've only spoken about with a few people so everyone will know and then it'll push me to just do it because I will feel awful knowing that all my friends know what happened to me I'd never be able to face them again anyway. I don't want to do that though it would be my worst nightmare but it keeps going into my head. I keep thinking it'd be for the best if I died now, because my "mum" is socially isolating and one thing that I just hated the thought of before when I have felt like this was her if I died her being at my funeral pretending to care after all the things that happened and the rest of the family who knew and done nothing to help when I was younger. I know it shouldnt matter cos I'd not be here to see it anyway. But then those who did help me and those who didn't being in the same room just feels wrong. It would turn into a big argument. But then now because she and my brother have to shield in their house they wouldn't be going anyway even if they wanted to. It would only be a few people and not a big drama which I would rather.
I keep thinking about the people who have been spoken about in the news that have taken their own life because of their mental health struggling because of the virus. It's like I've become obsessed with it and thinking of them. I wouldn't want to be all over the news like that. I just would want to post on Facebook about how much I've appreciated everyone who has helped me in my life and hope those who I'm not friends with on it would some how come across it. I would want people I was friends with years ago, staff from places I volunteered with but mainly teachers from school who done so much for me to know I am still so grateful for all their help. That's all I'd really want
Anyway this is all just going through my head right now, since you said post away i thought I would. It probs doesnt make much sense im so tired its just a big ramble. I was sitting on my living room floor crying calmed down and i have my music on at 5 in the morning because it calms me. Oh my God I feel bad for me neighbours but they can be noisy themselves xx
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Stay away from the news and social media if you can.....you’ll be amazed at what a binge watch of trash reality tv can do- escapism. Danielle, try calling Samaritans if it gets bad, I’ve used them before and they really help. I spent ages quite silent on phone in between crying and they were really supportive.
How are you today? One day we will get to a better place and we’ll be so glad we persevered. I know it’s hard, impossible to think that but we will
Keep posting on here.....keep going
Hey I've been asleep during the day because I was awake all night lol think I'm turning nocturnal.
I've been on the phone to a friend for a while too we just talk so much crap not about what's going on but it is a distraction that helps sometimes but after an hour on the phone I wanna say bye but dont want to be rude like 4 hours later I'm still on the phone talking tit. 
I will phone the doctor tomorrow feel like I really need to. I go through periods of time feeling like this and just try to deal with it myself most of the time - I just go through it until I reach a time when I feel better for a few months but then I always end up back in this place and it feels worse this time because of the lockdown being feeling trapped inside on top of it. Someone else has to always step in and be like "Danielle you need help" and do it for me but no one can see how i am right now because of this situation so i have to do it myself. Everyone just thinks im fine. See a lot of people talk about the Samaritains and I do think it can help. I know people who have contacted them and said nothing but good things but I know lots of people who had a bad experience with it too. There was a thread on here I saw as well and people were saying that it didn't help. So I feel a bit scared to call incase it actually does more harm than good and I come off it feeling any worse and more alone than I do now. I guess it just depends on the volunteer you get. Thanks again to you both xxxIs it a very close family member?
Hey I hadn't done it yet when I saw this message but it made me go do it.
just got off the phone to reception she said the doctor will give me a call back but i dont know when asked her if she knew but she had hanged up omg I'm so nervous for trying to explain it all to them but I will just try my best xxxWell done!Hey I hadn't done it yet when I saw this message but it made me go do it.
