Coping with losing a pet

[MrsBsDayOff]

My cat is 12 soon, although I'm not aware of him being in poor health, I know that day is coming for me and I dread it. He's my best little friend and a sweetheart and sleeps curled up with me every night, my heart will be broken. I try to enjoy every single day with him while I have him.

 

[lozzapaloozza]

I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my gorgeous little hamster, Biscuit, last year and I think I was more upset about her dying than anyone I’ve ever known. I struggled to find support in real life and online because I thought people would say it’s “just a hamster” but she was my bestest friend

I would suggest joining The Ralph Site Pet Loss Support Group on Facebook - this was the main thing that helped me as there’s hundreds of people who feel the same and are in the same position

Time heals all wounds. Just take everyday as it comes. Look at pictures, videos, create a scrapbook of memories and don’t be scared to look at them. I remember going into work the next day and sobbing but my work colleages were lovely. Don’t be afraid to cry or get upset. I had her little footprints taken and keep it safe, maybe you could do the same

 

[Colin]

Honestly it's really hard. I haven't watched any videos of my boy since just after he was put to sleep in October and I was lonely at the weekend so watched a few and sobbed my heart out. I miss him so.

 

[ATV2021]

Not sure if this has been recommended already but Blue Cross have a pet bereavement service available:

Pet bereavement and pet loss

If you are grieving for a pet, or facing loss, our free and confidential Pet Loss Support service is here for you by phone, email or webchat.

www.bluecross.org.uk

I lost my kitty of 18 years back in 2019, she had seen me through ALOT and it was devastating. I donated money to PDSA so she's got a plaque in their special pet memorial garden (https://www.pdsa.org.uk/donate/donate-in-memory/remembering-pets), and I had her privately cremated and some of her ashes into a necklace because she'd literally been through so many huge life changes with me. I ended up adopting a new kitty a few months later, I feel that he was sent my way to help me (and me for him as he'd been given up SO many times in his short little life). It does get easier I promise, but grief is normal - they're such a huge part of life. I also really struggled initially with my new cat as he just was not my last cat, but once I accepted his ways and dealt with his behaviour I wouldn't change him for the world

 

[Tinkerbell cat]

Your posts are all breaking my heart. I am so sorry! My little cat is 2 in June and It makes me so sad thinking of a day where she won't be here anymore. I have quite bad anxiety so I'm always thinking the worst. Sending you all some virtual cuddles xo

 

[1001 others]

We've had a really bad run lately with animals passing. We have several animals (we have a small farm) but it never, ever gets any easier.

My main worry is what happens when they pass - who will meet them on the other side?

Often I will think of them, and then a random feather will appear, or I'll find a piece of their fluff in the middle of the carpet that was perfectly vacuumed earlier that day ... knowing they're here in spirit doesn't make it any easier.

It would be ideal if they just passed in their sleep ... but that rarely happens. I think making the decision of when to put them down is one of the hardest things in life ... you wonder if it's too early - surely if they're still eating and have life behind their eyes the timing's not right ... but then, you don't want them to suffer either.

We usually adopted older and/or harder-to-home animals ... but I said to my husband last night that the problem with that is, we have a limited amount of time with them ... the last few dogs we've had, we've only had 2 months to 2 years with; with cats, it's been a 6 months to 5 years. If we got puppies or kittens we'd buy more time. Although, that's not guaranteed - a dear friend had two gorgeous little Alsatian puppies ... at the age of 3, one died suddenly of a heart attack; and at the age of 5, the other one started to appear off colour and wouldn't eat ... a trip to the vet resulted in a cancer diagnosis, for which the recommendation was that he be put to sleep as it was too advanced.

 

[Leelah]

My cat was sadly run over last month - I still miss him, I still look at pictures and videos. Absolutely fine to grieve over a pet, i loved my cat more than most people I know.

 

[quinzel]

@kazizzle I am so sorry for your loss. It’s just an awful feeling. Today I’ve cried a bit less, take each day as it comes and be kind to yourself

I picked these up from the vet today. I was trying to be strong but I broke down when I walked through the door and seen the door to the room we sat in with Leo. We should get his urn with his ashes in a couple of weeks. These are giving me some comfort in the meantime:

 

[Crazycatlady18]

Just bringing this thread back to life.

I've just lost my cat. He was my absolute best friend of nearly 12 years and I am absolutely inconsolable. I cannot stop crying and my eyes are swollen. The pain is absolutely unbearable. He was the sweetest, happiest, most loving boy. He had the most expressive face and sweet soul. I cannot imagine by life without him. I am devastated beyond words. I have never felt pain like this, it's worse than any human I've lost.

I just need people to know he existed and to know how much I love him.

How long does the initial gut wrenching, crushing pain last?

I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost mine on Boxing Day he was only 8. I cried again this morning thinking about him.
it does get easier like with any grief time is a healer but there’s some days where something reminds you of them and you feel sad.
We created a photo memory book of him as a nice keep sake.
losing your beloved cat is the worst. I do really feel for you I am so sorry xxx

 

[Phoenix Lazarus]

Thirty-five years after his death, I still sometimes have dreams in which one of our family's old cats appears.

 

[Shinythings]

Oh I'm so sorry. I know there's nothing anyone can say. Something that has brought me some comfort is to know other people are going through the same thing so it doesn't feel so lonely. The Ralph Site on Facebook is a good support network. Hopefully your baby and mine are best of friends wherever they may be.

 

[PumpkinKing]

I had to have one of my cats put to sleep 2 weeks ago after she was shot (more than likely by a neighbour). I’ve cried nearly every day, I can’t stop thinking about it. My 12 year old is especially upset, he cries every night as he misses her. She was only 1 we have her ashes and paw print.
This thread has helped me and made me feel more normal for my grief. 2 days after she died my dad told me to cheer up and that kids were dying in ukrain. He didn’t mean it nastily but it made me feel shit and abnormal for being so upset and low.
Sending love to everyone who has lost their beloved pets

 

[Ethel's little Willy]

Here's a link from the PDSA with advice about coping with losing a pet. I hope this can help some of you

How to cope with the death of a pet

Advice on making the difficult decision to put your pet to sleep, breaking the news to children, and coping with the loss.

www.pdsa.org.uk

 

[disneys]

That is literally exactly what happened him he managed to get out today and was run over. I can’t stop thinking about how I could have prevented it so I will try and stop feeling so guilty in time

Oh bless you , then I know exactly how you are feeling .. it is so so horrid but just try not to let it eat at you , for me the guilt was the worst part and lasted much longer than anything else , just try to think that as tragic as this is , it was part of a bigger plan and something you can’t control now , you’ll torture yourself with the “what ifs” and “if only I had...” , and not helpful

I’m sure my little guy met your little guy at the gates of kitty heaven and is welcoming him with open paws

 

[Ethel's little Willy]

I hope my favourite QUOTE in regards to losing my old girl brings you all some comfort...
"You were my favourite hello but my hardest goodbye "

 

[Colin]

I lost my boy two weeks ago. Some d as us I think it's getting easier, other days it catches me completely unawares and I feel devastated again. Tonight is a bad night, I just have to wait for it to pass.

 

[Colin]

All of your posts are breaking my heart. Our little cat is 2 in a couple of months and I honestly dread the day she isn't here. I worry about it all the time even though there is nothing wrong with her and she is fit and healthy (that we know off).. I always panic about giving her too much treats etc as I never want her to get sick. Sending love to you all

All you can do is live in the moment with her. Enjoy every cuddle.

 

[Kmacg]

I lost my rabbit Dave during lockdown and it destroyed me. I felt so stupid for being so broken but he was such a big part of our lives and brought us so much joy. I think I had a little PTSD as I found him unresponsive and knew he was near the end, discovered he had got fly strike and had to rush him to an emergency vet and wait outside in a car park, with no car, in the rain while they tried to save him. They rang me to say there was nothing they could do and I couldnt even be with him when he died. I dont even remember how I got home that night I was so traumatised.

But the pain does get easier. I think of him every day and we talk about him all the time. They are never really gone if they are still on our minds and in our hearts

 

[Lonewolf]

My bestest girl crossed over last June it would have been her 18 birthday today I'm really struggling but everytime I've gone out into the garden there's been a bunch of white feathers dotted all over but not a bird in sight il take that thank you very much

 

[Maid22]

I must stop reading this thread, it really upsets me, it's been 6 months since I lost my wee boy, I've loved and missed all my animals, but this one has hit me the hardest, I still haven't looked at pics of him, and @Lonewolf, the White feather I so get, couple of days after losing him, I was sitting on my usual step having a cig, looked to my right, where he always sat next to me, and there was white feather, have had other things happened too, I take comfort in that I did my best for him, but blimey, I don't half miss him.
Sending to you all