Taken from Tuckered 2.0's Facebook page:
Tom Hanks isn't a child trafficking ponce. We landed on the moon. The earth is spherical. 9/11 wasn't an inside job. Wayfair don't sell kids in wardrobes. COVID-19 isn't the flu. Vaccines don't give you autism. Mandatory face masks won't prevent you using cash. Bill Gates just wants to use his billions for good, and 5G just means faster downloads. That's it.
We are the most privileged generation in history. Yes, that's right, despite all my whinging about the government and rampant inequality we've never had it so good. So why do I bother? Because it's far from perfect and I guess I'm an idealist. No man left behind and all that.
But. We're living longer than ever before, we have more disposable income than ever before. More leisure time. More entertainment. More equality. Maybe even too much bleeping equality. We're amused to death.
Do you know how much the book-inhaling scholars of old would give to be in your shoes? To have the wealth of human knowledge in the palms of their hands, summoned in an instant, without even glancing a bleeping index?
You can research anything. Read scientific peer reviewed studies. Teach yourself psychology, or engineering, or how to play the bleeping bag pipes. You don't even need to read. There's a YouTube channel for that.
OK, look, I know. In my utopia everyone should be spending their downtime bettering themselves, but as well as an idealist I'm also a realist. I know full well that the vast majority of us spunk the days away watching videos about serial killers and sharing hilarious memes, but others wander from the flock. From us sheep.
If I said I hadn't watched the odd conspiracy video I'd be lying through my teeth. They're entertaining to say the least. But, when you feel yourself slowly nodding, eyes widening at the prospect of the previous President ordering $488,000 dollars worth of pepperoni pizza which is supposedly code for children, it's time to have a bleeping word with yourself.
It's time to take a deep breath, and, I can't stress this part enough, stop being a thick bleeping bleep.
Do you understand the logistics of getting hundreds of thousands of medical staff across the globe to share the same lie without one of them slipping up? Think about how bleeping stupid that sounds when our own government can't even come up with a working bleeping A-Level algorithm.
How much credit do you attribute to these "shadowy figures" controlling our lives?
I'm not going to sit here dunbunking reams of bullshit, because frankly, I can't be fucked and you're too far down the rabbit hole anyway. Suffice to say paedophilia isn't considered a disability in Greece, and Tom Hanks didn't seek Greek citizenship. It was given it by the Greek Prime Minister for his work highlighting their wildfire plight. A quick Google will give you that information. For free.
Bill Gates doesn't want to track you through an injection. If he really did he'd just use the GPS enabled smart phone you watched the bleeping conspiracy video on you dumb bleep.
We constantly whinge about billionaires hoarding cash, but when one actually seeks to improve the world we accuse him of bleeping genocide!
Just stop it. Read all the news papers but believe none. Watch all the videos if you really must but bleeping challenge them. Think for duck's sake, and think critically.
Conspiracy theorists think the rest of us are the sheep, but in actual fact it's their dangerous rhetoric that's dumbing down society.
There is no secret, elitist cabal. The people in charge are the people you see, and you know what they love? Easily malleable, uneducated simpletons questionining everything but them, and there's bleeping millions of us. They've never had it so good either.
Don't patronise me with an oh god really.