Cleaning with Mario #77 Shine bright like a £4 neon yellow pepper

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Thanks tae oor wee @Ferguson fae this autumnal thread suggestion wae the most likes. So aye

I’ve had to amend slightly as I cannae line through words oan the thread title. Get tae noo if you don’t already noo! Ma thread, ma rules!

A new bespoke thread oan this day of dawn just in time fae oor favourite little pigmy pigs 39th birthday at the weekend and the start of instawanker autumn
 

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Happy new bespoke thread

Wiz dain athletics with ma class of weans at ma actual joab and ah caught masel sayin “stay in yer laines”

wiz clutchin ma beak.
 
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Stomps in wearing ma Timbers and Bungle skin coat ready for the big birthday bash.
 
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Queen Soph might surprise him oan his birthday since she ignored him at Christmas

Mebbes she's goat him the timberland boots in whatever colour he mentioned last night, ah've loast the will tae live ...ah mean go and check.
 
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I obviously don’t follow Hannah cos why would I but I wonder if Oor H is going to shout out Marion for his birthday this weekend?
 
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How on Earth can you lose anything in that tiny shithole? I’d forgotten all about the rancid Pippy Longstocking wreath!

 
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So they really did have a meal from a pre theatre menu, but didn’t go to the theatre!!
 
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Pure bespoke new thread in time for this weekend, am clutchin ma hoosecoat for his rancid birthday posts ma luvlies!!

I wanty see the birthday outfit!
The birthday dinner!
The gifts fae the brother!
Wit shoes will he wear!
The makeup he’ll do!
The reposts a people saying happy birthday to him!
Will Hinch gee him a happy birthday???

I cannot wait hens!!
 
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How on Earth can you lose anything in that tiny shithole? I’d forgotten all about the rancid Pippy Longstocking wreath!

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This is him justifying why he NEEDS a new one. #obvs #DESERVED

We all know your flat's tiny, Martin. You can't even hide a shart in the place.

The journalist made sure to mention your wee flat was small. Multiple times:

"On Instagram, Mario McKnight’s home is a grey, white and shiny palace with a candle in every corner. In real life, it’s exactly the same. I can see most of it when he throws open the front door to welcome me in.

He and Derek have no plans to move out of their Paisley council flat, even though it is not the ideal base for a cleanfluencer. It’s so small that it does not take much actual cleaning.

There is so little cupboard space that he has to store the vacuum cleaner in the living room and has a cupboard of shame, that never appears in photographs, hidden in the bedroom.


He turns down most of the free gifts he’s offered – partly because he has nowhere to keep them."
 
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Loving the thread title, funniest one for ages, nae debates!

Mazda’s birthday usual provides tonsa laughs for us and I am HERE FOR IT!
 
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He's said a couple of times that "he hasn't planned anything" I'm wondering if he's expecting Derek to have planned a surprise visit from the Duchess of Cambridge or something ludicrous.
 
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How on Earth can you lose anything in that tiny shithole? I’d forgotten all about the rancid Pippy Longstocking wreath!

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He's got that much crap, that it's covering crap underneath.
That flat has to be a fire hazard as well as a hoarders SOS.

And who in their right mind decorates their bedroom?!. Give me strength
 
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