Cleaning with Mario #4

[Kaydeelaydee]

Things I just don't "get" #1

Melvin has a comfy looking armchair in his lounge. It is accessorised to death with a chunky knit throw, the texture of which gives Dezza the heebie jeebies to the extent that he can't bear to touch it, some kind of knitted ball and a to-be-replaced cushion (as soon as the buyers at B&M, Homebargains, The Range and Dunelm get their collective acts together). He works for a struggling department store chain that sells soft furnishings and could use the sale, probably has staff discount, but never seems to be on his radar as a place to shop from. Space in his home is at a premium. Nobody ever sits in the frickin chair!

 

[Be More Pacific]

I don’t even understand what he actually means by that? He can barely speak English

Built the whole block. On his own. All 150 storeys. In a day. With only Yorkshire biscuit tea for sustenance.

Probably

 

[Kaydeelaydee]

Things I just don't "get" #2

If you do not, have not and will not have an interest in a particular instagrammer's account, where does the interest in their Tattle thread come from? If you're on Tattle happily opining about the gram account(s) of your choice, you surely understand that folks here on the Melvin thread are just doing the same thing you are doing - albeit perhaps having more laughs along the way

 

[cleaningupthecrap]

How can he claim he has no time for bullshit, when everything that comes out of his mouth is ?

His bloody skincare jurneeee that hunners of lovelies are asking about, it's 'plain and simple', but he's going to do an 'in-depth routine' on his very 'overly sensitive skin' soon. Melvin, we have all seen your routine hunners of times,you have it as a highlighted story, give it a rest, we know you "no have loads to tell use"

 

[Alwayspoor]

Ooooo i bet the housing officer would be terrified if clicky fingers lost his tit

 

[cleaningupthecrap]

Ooooo i bet the housing officer would be terrified if clicky fingers lost his tit

If he clicked his fingers he might tit himself thinking Melvin was going to start singing

 

[Kaydeelaydee]

Its multiple choice question time. Melvin has abdicated responsibility of dealing with "the housing" to Dezza. What does this really mean:

A. Melvin knows he can't control his potty mouth and fears being shown the door and chucked out the meeting for abusive behaviour towards a civil servant.

B. Melvins "shat it". He's just a 36 year old boy from the Shire so actually dealing with the issue rather than just greetin about it is for grown ups, and that's just not his bag.

C. Dezza is the only named tenant and therefore the only person that the cooncil will speak to directly.

D. Whatever the outcome achieved, Melvin will not be satisfied and it will be all Dezza's fault.

E. All of the above

 

[WookieCookie]

Its multiple choice question time. Melvin has abdicated responsibility of dealing with "the housing" to Dezza. What does this really mean:

A. Melvin knows he can't control his potty mouth and fears being shown the door and chucked out the meeting for abusive behaviour towards a civil servant.

B. Melvins "shat it". He's just a 36 year old boy from the Shire so actually dealing with the issue rather than just greetin about it is for grown ups, and that's just not his bag.

C. Dezza is the only named tenant and therefore the only person that the cooncil will speak to directly.

D. Whatever the outcome achieved, Melvin will not be satisfied and it will be all Dezza's fault.

E. All of the above

All of the above

 

[cleaningupthecrap]

Its multiple choice question time. Melvin has abdicated responsibility of dealing with "the housing" to Dezza. What does this really mean:

A. Melvin knows he can't control his potty mouth and fears being shown the door and chucked out the meeting for abusive behaviour towards a civil servant.

B. Melvins "shat it". He's just a 36 year old boy from the Shire so actually dealing with the issue rather than just greetin about it is for grown ups, and that's just not his bag.

C. Dezza is the only named tenant and therefore the only person that the cooncil will speak to directly.

D. Whatever the outcome achieved, Melvin will not be satisfied and it will be all Dezza's fault.

E. All of the above

Total no brainer, all of the above.

It also means that Melvin can make tit up about what the agreed outcome is.

 

[Wheretonext]

All of the above

The correct answer is ‘E’

 

[Enaj9990]

I wonder if oor dezza’s getting a single person council tax rebate....

but that ain’t none of my business

 

[Frankensooze]

Its multiple choice question time. Melvin has abdicated responsibility of dealing with "the housing" to Dezza. What does this really mean:

A. Melvin knows he can't control his potty mouth and fears being shown the door and chucked out the meeting for abusive behaviour towards a civil servant.

B. Melvins "shat it". He's just a 36 year old boy from the Shire so actually dealing with the issue rather than just greetin about it is for grown ups, and that's just not his bag.

C. Dezza is the only named tenant and therefore the only person that the cooncil will speak to directly.

D. Whatever the outcome achieved, Melvin will not be satisfied and it will be all Dezza's fault.

E. All of the above

E.
I wonder if he's told them how many insta followers he has.
DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM

 

[Mack84]

Answer E....I hope Derek takes a packed lunch with him for the meeting. 2 family sized chocolate bars and a flask of biscuit tea.

oh he’s got a new word tonight. “Staple” that’s my staple, this is a staple, this is defo my staple.

Storm Brendan & he’s renamed it “storm motherfucker”

he’s so classy

 

[Tracy2019]

That one makes me cringe so much - I hope you all don't think we are like that in Scotland

I was born in paisley lived there until 18 then moved to Glasgow just along the road and he makes us Scottish people sound hellish honest we’re not all like that lol god I hope not

 

[Jo-Min99]

E.
I wonder if he's told them how many insta followers he has.
DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM

Using his ‘platform’ to get a rent reduction fae the cooncil... He is so transparent it is ripping out of him.

 

[ayeayecaptain]

Aww god couldnae listen tae it.

I was born in paisley lived there until 18 then moved to Glasgow just along the road and he makes us Scottish people sound hellish honest we’re not all like that lol god I hope not

Honestly he makes the rest of the Three Toons where he comes from sound like summat out of Made in Chelsea in comparison

 

[Divinechat]

Oh dear god who are these people who send him these messages

 

[Jo-Min99]

Oh dear god who are these people who send him these messages

His mum

 

[Divinechat]

His mum

Reading the grammer in the message i am convinced he sent it to himself.

 

[Badaboom]

Who is letting their children watch and listen to his foul mouthed stories? I am sure he didn’t used to swear so much, when he first started on his journey on his platform.