Cleaning with Mario #36 Decorating your flat for instagram validation what a sad situation

[Anti-influencer]

Ohhhhh I’ve had a right wee chuckle this morning at the comments about Moira’s birthday extravaganza. This is my prediction:

• treated to hunners of birthday story reposts from his minions
• a boomerang of him dancing with a balloon with his age on it
• a selfie of Deek and Melv on the train on their amazing adventure (ten mins oan the train from Paisley to central) into the big city
• a video tour of their boujee Dakota bedroom which will no doubt prompt some kind of “redecoratoring” jurney
• a picture of a pizza and pasta dinner from a shite Italian (a share bowl of chips off to the side of the shot)
• a boomerang of either gin or Prosecco
• ten o clock he’s back to the room greetin coz his shoes have hurt his feet and he’s past his bedtime
• “Night night ma lovelies thanks for all your messages in ma outbox, there’s pure thoosans”

Then the following morning we will get 40 mins worth of dots with a fabricated story about how a fan accosted him and then another one about how he flashed his button mushroom to the maid and he’s absolootely mortified! *holds onto big ass nose while fake cry laughing*

N that’s it. Canny wait.

 

[margot44]

 

[margot44]

Eating Luncheons and Polishing Truncheons

Very early new thread suggestion. I’ll get back in ma ain lain noo.

 

[iromg]

Snidey wee rat
House full of tat
A freebie you say?
I'm having that.

 

[Kaydeelaydee]

Early Christmas prediction.

Hold to read
Hello ma lovelies! I know you were all expecting the Christmas reveal today, but I'm going to need you all to bear with me! Thing is, now that I've got more space in my living room and with the really really high ceilings in here, my tree just doesnae look right in here anymore and Derek arriterated the same thing also! I've had that tree for years now anyway as youse aw know so the time was right to change it and its done us a turn and even though I didnae want a new tree I'm getting a new tree but I made sure my old tree has gone to someone with kids who desperately needed a tree and so forth! I was just laughing with Danyell about all this, and what with her being the nicest lassie in the world, she's sourced me a bigger bespoke tree in her warehouse and her team will bring that to me and build it once they get here! All my other decorations are done, but I want to show you everything when it's finished, so I'll be fast as I possibly can be but I'm working extra just now too - I'll have extra pennies for the sales though! With a bit of luck, everything should be reaveled in the next few day, but oh my God, the 3rd October will be here before you know it! Tonnes a love

Edited to unfix punctuation in style of Melv!

 

[TheNiceBeardMan]

Marion walking into his gifted living room after work

 

[BishBashBoss]

 

[laynelo_]

So aye..

 

[laynelo_]

*in a nasal, high-pitched Marion screech that terrorises the Nikita dugs of Paisley*

Awww a new threeeead! Ah jist luv ittttt! So fresh! Aw ah luvvv it and so forth

How could ye forget it was a blind nikita dug ma luvlie! n this is wit it looked lit when it wis chasin marion

 

[Steffols]

Absolute cheek to say he hates all the hype if a big reveal when he's quite literally been banging on about this since January.

 

[Citygirlgonecountry]

As much as I love these threads and find Mario quite fascinating in an almost scientific experiment kind of way, it really is a sad way to live. Seeking validation from total strangers on the internet, working a part time job in late 30s and spending the rest of your time in cheap tat shops, or getting cozy in your hoosecoat. Always "no well" or "crabbit". He really doesn't personify the "living ma best life" image he tries so desperately to portray.

 

[Missinthebackground]

Ah lads. I popped over here yesterday from the hinch threads because she's been pregnant for about 20 years now ffs and its got so boring. Well, let me just say, I may never find my way back to grinchy hinchy again you lot are bloody hilarious. I watched a few of his highlights and my god I feel so sorry for that Derek fella and the poor cat. Is her name pronounced rain? A couple of questions if you don't mind.

What is with the get in yer lane?
Are you actually allowed to do all that crap to a council house?
Whats the story about the blind akita/nikita dog?

Anyway, thank you so much for keeping me laughing through this grey period of the junch threads. It took me a while to learn to read your posts in his voice/accent. But as Maria says, practise makes okay

 

[margot44]

Night night ma luvlies

 

[Poptart]

Absolutely livid he hasn't shown us his cardigan outfit. Just kicked my tap-ass table over and spilled all my joos and Criss. Raging! Stay out of my path! Crabbit!

 

[jalapeño_bites]

Ooor Marion is such a shy wee boy he hates all the attention he’s been getting on his new panelmediawall infact he hates it that much that he’s only reposted 87 stories worth of praise! It’s almost asif he’s caused the hype and build up himself??? I’m baffled

 

[Citygirlgonecountry]

I love how Dan-Yell has gifted basically every piece of furniture in that plush room of doom, yet Mario somehow makes it sound like he has done her a favour by accepting it all... My mind is blown by the sheer cheek of him!
Also, the console take comes in brass gold too - more like fucking brass neck!
Lastly, he's only doing a few stories coz stories can be quite hard to follow. Not hard for him coz he "diz this" but for us mere mortals, it might prove hard. Aye nae bother Mario. I think anyone watching your stories can get the "jist" of it... You are a brass necked, bare faced lying, illiterate fuckwit!

 

[Booboo76]

So he’s going to a hotel for his bday, which by all accounts the price for a room starts at £120, then probably all the crap on top of it off deek, but poor deek gets a shitty brew and curled up sandwiches on a wooden stand in the colour plywood and a children’s balloon display, ok then, selfish fukwit

 

[Runforestrun]

Genuine question, do you think Marion has ever had sex? He’s probably a “pull ma goonie doon when yer finished” kinda lassie

I’ve said it before but I think of Marion and Deeks like Bert n Ernie off of Sesame Street
ETA a pic, it’s actually uncanny, Bert has got Deeks glazed look off to a t!
And look at Ernies bespoke boujee hair doo

 

[BishBashBoss]

Christmas questions in May, fuck off.

Dear lord, what a sad little life, Jane Marion...

 

[margot44]

I rewatched his stories to have a second look at his brolly and long padded hoosecoat. His new name could be Marioy Poppins.

And Deek Van Dyke